Just watching the UK Championship. The dozy bird refereeing, Tatiana Woollaston, has just tried to replace the potted pink on its partially covered spot before Judd Trump told her that the green spot is completely (and very obviously) available!
Jesus wept.
Trump should’ve told her, “a male referee wouldn’t have make such an error. Go and put the kettle on ready for the end of the frame, love. I’ll have two sugars in my tea.”
Then treated her arse to a playful slap as she walked off.

twing.com

Nominated by Thomas the Cunt Engine Link by Sam Beau.

is a cunt.

The government has stated that they want critical thinking to be taught in schools.
Their given reason is all the malicious content on social meeja. They want the children to have the ability to see such things as logical fallacies etc so as not to fall victim to some bollocks pushed by a spotty fuck wit or the Russian, Chinese military. I have identified a big problem, lgbtdfsery fuckwittery is obviously going to come under scrutiny by the kids hopefully they will use their new skills to ascertain women don’t have dicks as a starter. I do get the impression that some civil servant has fucked up on this one. Looking forward to the outcome with double helping of relish.

Guardian

Nominated by Black biscuit, link by Jeezum Priest.

A Nigerian student who came to the UK to complete her studies in Marketing with a PhD. She arrived late 2022 on a student visa, with husband and child as dependents.
( A buy one, get two free offer, presumably)

She was lured here after allegedly being promised funding for her fees and paid work at Newcastle University, none of which materialised.
Somehow, she managed to raise the first year’s fees of £13+k, was given subsidised accommodation, but failed
to register for her second year.

Sometime at the end of 2023, she was diagnosed with stage 5 kidney failure.
Wow, that got bad really fast, didn’t it?

Now, because she had failed to adhere to the terms of her Visa, Mrs. Agazie was informed by the University that they would have to report her to the Home Office.
In May the HO informed her that she must leave by June.

She immediately lodges a complaint against the University ( which of course puts the deportation on hold)
on the grounds that the stress and anxiety of being unable to pay her debts, when she was promised grants and a job, made it impossible for her to continue her studies.

So, nowt to do with the kidney disease, then.

She’s been refunded the £13+k fees, had her rent arrears wiped and awarded £5k for hurty feelings or summat. Is she fucking off home, with her plus two?

Oh no, of course not. She’s applying to remain on medical grounds, as she can’t afford the high quality treatment she needs, in Nigeria.
The high quality treatment she’s getting free, here. That includes a place on the transplant list. And a school place for her six year old.

Don’t you just love being a taxpayer?

bbcnews

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Having just completed another year of marriage I think that it’s now the time to pass on my guide to a successful relationship.

Too many marriages fail due to the gentleman not setting out clear boundaries.

Here are my tips, the result of 37 year’s of experience.

Have your own sporting interests.
It’s important that you don’t share your enthusiasm about a particular sport with your wife.

Golf is a good sport.
It gives you the opportunity to get away from the house for many hours.
You can also go on golfing weekends and extended holidays by yourself.

It doesn’t matter if you have never held a golf club or have any intention of doing so.
Buy a cheap set of clubs from any second hand store and keep them somewhere near the front door.
Even if it’s night time, you can get out of the house and down the pub with the excuse that you are going ‘down the range’ to practice.

If your wife starts showing any interest in your chosen sport she must be ridiculed.
You cannot risk that she may want to join you.

Occasionally do un-manly chores.
Unfortunately these will include cooking, ironing, washing up and perhaps cleaning.

It’s vital that your wife shouldn’t feel needed.
By your actions you are making it perfectly clear that she is merely tolerated.

If you have your own, private space. A shed for instance, then buy posters of pretty, slim girls and pin them to the walls.
If you are limited to space then use cut outs from gentlemen’s magazines.
At the very least have an attractive young lady as your mobile phone wallpaper.
This will encourage your wife to be more careful with her own appearance.

I could go on, but that would make an already long nom even longer.

I am sure that you can add to this list……

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.

It could hardly be imagined by imagined by Mr. Humphries, who was always free or Larry Grayson – and God know what Slack Alice and Apricot Lil would have made of it, but it seems the editors of “Pink Paper” for homosexualists and cabinet ministers everywhere (Rodders has presented an award for them), Mr. Cohen and Dr.James have allegedly been taking employers rights to their limits, and the good doctor has been examining patients, who don’t want to examined, and aren’t even patients anyway:

The BBC have been investigating and turned on their own. Of course it could be that young Tristram and young Gaylord misunderstood these editors and it was their time of the month, but you have to wonder with papers like The Guardian, The Observer and the great organ of the BBC why do they actually need a “Pink” paper?

I think these two men need a tap on the botty, duckies.

bbcnews

Nominated by W C Boggs.