OK I admit it. I’m an academic snob. I believe that if you don’t have a degree in Computer Science (like I do), then you shouldn’t be working in IT. There, I said it. There are a multitude of reasons for my beliefs, chief among which includes studying computer technology at an advanced and detailed level trains your brain to think in a certain way. You are taught to become very disciplined, analytical, logical and detail orientated. Essential skills to perform well in an environment which absolutely depends upon binary precision. Something either works or it doesn’t. A server is either up and running or it isn’t. Something can either be accessed securely or it can’t. And so on.
Thus, I present 3 concise examples of fuck brained half witted retardedness implemented by people who very obviously have no idea what the fuck they’re doing and yet (presumably) still have jobs in IT.
1. Bank.
My bank launched (badly in my view) a new website recently and introduced Two Factor Authentication (2FA). You know the kind of thing. Enter your username and password, then their system sends you a code via some method, you enter that code and you get logged in. They did this presumably to make access to your account more secure. Great! However, every time you successfully login you’re challenged to either register your device or decline doing so. Registering it means next time you won’t have to navigate 2FA. Hold on, didn’t they introduce 2FA to make logging in more secure? How come you can get around that? Cookies. Yep, register it once, never clear your browser’s cache, cookies or traces of browsing history and you too can login to your bank account less securely. Registering your device, then running a clean up job after you finish browsing (like you’re supposed to because that’s the safe and secure thing to do) has the same effect of not registering your device at all. So you’re asked if you want to register it next time (and every time) you login. Fucking idiots.
2. Accountant.
After preparing my tax return, my accountant’s website allowed me to sign the document electronically. I logged in (username & password but no 2FA), looked at the return which includes all kinds of sensitive information including my Social Security Number (SSN). I signed in 2 places and thought that would be the end of the matter. Nope. Before I could click the Submit button I was challenged for my SSN. The same SSN that was clearly displayed on the previous screen. I clicked the Cancel button because providing the SSN at that stage made zero sense. Nope. Submit won’t work unless you provide the SSN. As insane as that was, I was then challenged to 3 further questions about partial first line of address, then my cell ‘phone area code and finally my zip code. WTF? If the fucking moron who designed this workflow actually had a functioning brain cell, wouldn’t they have positioned these security challenges BEFORE displaying the tax return? If someone had hacked my login account, they already have access to the sensitive information so in what universe does it make sense to make the legitimate account holder answer security questions AFTER the fact? OMG!!! Dear Lord, why is that not obvious?
3. Mortgage Company.
Accessing your mortgage account online should be a safe and secure activity, right? I mean, these cunts know a lot about my finances and have my SSN on file so it makes sense to access their site as securely and safely as possible. Updated browser? Check. Good browser security settings? Check. Complex password? Check. 2FA? Check. VPN? Check. Oh wait…their website doesn’t work if you access it via a VPN. Hold on…they have password complexity rules for security. They employ 2FA for security. But if I have the audacity to encrypt my network traffic via a VPN connection, they don’t allow it? What cunt made that decision and what solid security protocol was that decision based upon? What a dickhead!
So there you have it. Three fine examples of decisions and designs made by people who work in IT who shouldn’t. That’s not to say people with high academic IT qualifications are infallible or people without cannot operate at a high level of proficiency. However, having the formal training and education should go a long way to ensuring you can do the job properly. Hence, I’m willing to bet the fuck-brained decisions and designs referred to above came from people who have neither the education, training, experience, skill or know-how to justify their job titles.
What IT related shit-brained cuntitude have you run into?
Nominated by : Imitation Yank
