“They are out of sorts in Sunderland and terribly dull in Kent” so said Noel Coward in There Are Bad Times Just Around the Corner, and just to make sure that we still feel down and out, not only does London look like it has been coated with gray undercoat during the daylight hours, (Xmas week merits something disagreeable), the fun loving tabloids are giving those affected extra problems. Not only has the BBC informed us that “due to man-made climate change” 2026 will be the hottest year on record (not bad for an organisation that finds it hard to predict the weather 12 hours hence), we are also subject to a brand new terrifying lurgi:

Yes gentlemen Adenovirus is out to get us. There is no escape, no amount of handwashing or disinfectant can save us, nor those expensive little jars of hand gel. It is incurable. There is no treatment. Pissing yourselves yet?. Reading the symptoms, it strikes me that what they are scared of is the normal short winter head cold, but that doesn’t sound important enough, still it might put people of worrying about World War 3, which is due to start tomorrow, according to the Mail and Express, or Harry Hewitt fucking Meghan Markle up the shitter live on Netflix TV, which is about the only story those two organs have not yet dreamt up.

Meanwhile, we had better “all learn the lyrics to the old Red Flag and wait until we drop down dead” (**)

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Nominated by W C Boggs.

is a cunt……

fuck me I don’t like cats, but I wouldn’t go this far.
The fact that the legal system is actually entertaining this snowflake doesn’t do them any favours.
“Richard Williamson from Bedwas complained to Caerphilly council, saying although cats had a right to roam, they “do not have the right the cause a statutory nuisance or pose an environmental health risk”.

He said he was concerned about the health risks to the family’s newborn baby “who will soon be playing in our garden” ”

The risks posed to the new-born baby have not been correctly assessed, because with parents like that I am expecting a future non binary Palestinian flag waver coming into existence.

Fuck me and the high court entertain this?

bbcnews

Nominated by Lord Benny

Allow me to present to cunters a further installment in a new series entitled ‘Tranny Madness’. This is the cautionary tale of one Ryan Haley, who’s been banged up after being found guilty of a sexual assault on a woman who was thirteen at the time of the incident.

Unsavoury but not particularly unusual you might think, but here’s where it all starts to get a bit weird. Swivel-eyed loony Haley (see pic in the link) is now a cock in a frock, calls himself ‘Natalie Wolf’, and apparently refuses to accept the verdict handed out at Newcastle Crown Court, on the basis that there’s a conspiracy against him/her/hem/it whatever.

‘Natalie’ initially claimed that the jury had been tampered with to offer up a prejudicial verdict, then went further, claiming that the police, legal representatives, the jury and the judge had all been hypnotised (by aliens perhaps?). It also stated that it had ‘brain damage’; mention was also made of a ‘personality disorder’ and (you guessed it) ‘mental health issues’. No fucking shit Sherlock.

It will come as no surprise that the judge rejected the conspiracy claims out of hand, gave our girl three and a half years in the slammer, and placed it on the sex offender’s register for good measure. So enjoy your time in the clink ‘Natalie’. Our prisons having been captured by the woke mentality, I’m sure that the screws will ensure that you’re properly supplied with tampons and eye liner.

bbcnews

Nominated by Ron Knee.

are cunts.

There’s (sort of) good news and there’s bad news as England’s cricketers stumble about on the 2025-26 Ashes tour in Australia.

The (sort of) good news? Well they’ve actually gone and won a test match in Oz for the first time in what seems like about a hundred years. Hoo-fucking-rah, let’s light the fireworks and break open the champers.

The bad news? The match was the fourth of five in the series, and of course the Aussies are already out of sight, having rogered England good and proper in the first three, thereby having the Ashes in the bag and their tinnies open before Christmas.

This win therefore is worth about as much as the thin end of the square root of fuck all in the scheme of things. Naturally it’ll be lauded as a win which means that the utter humiliation of a series whitewash is avoided, as though that’s some sort of victory in itself. But it’s all too little too late, as they’ve already embarrassed themselves and the rest of us with their ineptitude. Yes, it’s much too little, much too late. The Aussies have got the bragging rights again, and boy, will they let us know it.

bbcnews

Nominated by Ron Knee.

is a cunt.

For want of a better title, I declare Unreliable British History a complete cunt.
As evidenced by the story of Britain’s first black woman who, surprise, surprise, turns out not to have been black at all.
‘The Beachy Head Lady’, discovered in a basement in 2012, had undergone ‘scientific’ analysis shortly after, and in a desperate attempt at clutching at straws, it was decided she was of African descent.
Cue woke historians claiming that Roman Britain was like an episode of Desmond’s and David Olusoga including her in one of his divisive, race baiting documentaries.
Those gullible, woke cunts at the BBC even erected a blue plaque in her honour.
Now it turns out, thanks to DNA testing, that it was all pie in the sky.
And it’s not just this episode that makes you sceptical.
I recently started reading Max Hastings story of Operation Biting in WW2, and of the major figures in the book is Lord Louis Mountbatten.
According to Hastings, the much revered historian, suggestions that Mountbatten was homosexual (he fails to mention allegations of kiddie fiddling) were simply wide of the mark.
Really?
Like many, I love history, but I’m now doubting more or less everything I see or hear nowadays.
Now, that really is a cunt.

bbcnews

Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery