Having a look around today and I spy my Calor gas hoses are looking past their best. While I’m at it cop a look at my trusty blowlamp. Fuck me that does look grim.

After an online search I saw a local avert for hoses. Ideal only a couple of miles away. Go over and ask. I can sell you two metres of hose. Me that’s no good I want five metres.

Well if you show me your Gas safe card I can sell you as much as you need.

Don’t be silly say I, I’m retired now. Sorry I can’t sell you it. Fine stick it where the sun don’t shine then.

Fucking jobsworth cunts.

Nominated by : CuntyMort

OK…For the record I don’t watch this kind of brainless Saturday evening tv fodder for the hard of thinking but I was at my PC coming up to 1am just finishing another bottle of decent red before logging off (not a euphemism in this scenario) and had one last check on the days news on the BBC website and came across this announcement:

bbcnews

Now, I don’t know what the odds are for the 4 finalists to fill the BBC box ticking categories, but if it were a ‘genuine’ result then they are pretty long odds. However, by complete skill, luck, or deliberate internal manipulation (you decide) we have ended up with the 4 finalists who consist of a Blick male, a butch tattooed lesbian, a female raggy, and a white male. (I cannot suggest one or more of these 4 have a disability either, but cynical me, suggests there’s enough boxes ticked there already)

For me, this is the issue with media, and in particular tv today. I have zero confidence that any results like this nom are genuine because it is simply too coincidental that you would randomly have such a spread of what we have that the BBC (and others) are so desperate to promote to the UK tv viewing public.

I took one look at that pic in my nom and thought… it’s all a fix. Not that I’m worried as I don’t watch it, but I am more worried about this social engineering and brainwashing of gullible cunts who do.

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

Now back in the day and automatic rifle gave you the edge.

Then frag vests then ballistic vests. Fuck, we used to work on satellite info, pictures of sandpaper.

Not so much now.

Fuck it’s real time now. No longer “we expect ‘ but ‘ just round the corner,’ A very different war….,.

Gone are my days of the gun knife and shovel. Trust me they are the ultimate battle axe, but you don’t want to go there.

So I nominate someone cunt flying an EOD at me on a child’s toy.

Nominated by : Lord benny

Are the police going too far, or are they simply out of control and making it up as they go along?

Honest to Dog you really can’t make this shit up. Poor lass, took her daughters iPads off them, so they could do their homework without distraction. Fair enough.

Vanessa went to visit her mum, an elderly woman.
Next thing, police are at mums door, arresting Vanessa for theft and treating the old mum like she’s a modern day Fagin!

Vanessa is then held in custody for several hours, until the officer who had custody of the shared braincell that day decided there was no case to answer!

Now, reading between the lines, it looks like kids phoned Dad to moan about Mum confiscating their iPads, and Dad, being a total cunt, reported them as stolen. This has not been checked by BBC Verify, BTW.

So far, Surrey Police have failed to either

Apologise to Vanessa, or
Arrest the cunt for making a false report and wasting police time.

Shabby wedding, Surrey Police, very shabby.

lbc.co.uk

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Pop star Katy Perry comes out of the capsule in

A cunting for the first all female crew since 1963

I have just witnessed the most pointless ‘piece of history’ , a crew of 6 women including Katy Perry went up to the edge of space, start to finish the whole thing lasted 11 minutes. Yes that’s up, hang around for a few seconds then back down

The ‘mission’ leader was some plastic faced tart who happens to be the fiancé of Jeff Bezos.

Now to be fair it’s something that isn’t without risk although this wasn’t the first flight of blue horizon, it has been tried and tested with no issues so it isn’t the maiden flight type of risk.

What is actually annoying is that this nothing more that a joyride, no scientific interest, no new breakthrough so what is the big deal, it could have been 6 monkeys or 6 sacks of sand.
The description of the 6 as crew is a bit of a stretch, they have zero control of anything and other that the G force (no more than a high end fairground ride) the training is pretty minimal.

The crew are now technically Astronauts 😂, I would prefer a much more accurate description

PAYLOAD – the load carried by a vehicle, particularly an aircraft or spacecraft, that is not essential for the vehicle’s operation itself. This can include passengers, cargo, equipment.

I would say that if offered I would go for the ride 😂

Daily Fail

Nominated by Sick of it.