Hopefully, a very emotive and subjective nomination – which will fuck YOU up.

The radio programme: Desert Island Discs
… is a cunt.

Why ? ! ?

Because, just when you think [insert your *favourite tune of all time here] is your most very greatest and best ever tune/song of all time, ever, in the universe, of all time … yep: You`re guaranteed to think of yet another one which might be better.

Basically, you`ll never agree with yourself.

Go on – try it now.

Write down all your favourite tunes – or say 5 of them.
(pause for thought)

OK, maybe another 5.

(pause for thought)

Now think of another one to add to the list?

(pause for thought)

Now put them in order.

(pause for thought)

Have you missed one out?

(pause for thought)

Revise your list.

Revise again.

Still fucked? – Of course you are.

You just can`t do it, can you ?

But there IS a reason for this.

It`s YOU, and how you`re feeling right now …
Annoyed / frustrated / brain-dead / full of drugs ?

Well, I couldn`t give a shit, because all of the above is just a diversion.

If you`ve read this far, that`s not really what this nomination is really about. It`s actually …

Who would you want to be shipwrecked with on a desert island with (and, need I ask, why) ?

Mine would be Katie Price because, although I`m not a lesbian, her body would probably make an ideal flotation device (with additional compartments) should I need to vacate the island in an emergency

OK — blow your load now …

* That`s `favourite` for our colonial subsidiaries.

Nominated by: Sam Beau

A double-sized cunting for Sussex Police, particularly the imbeciles operating in and around Hastings.

Firstly, relating to the assault and later death of a one-legged 93 year-old with dementia, who had kept hold of a dinner knife at his care home, reportedly using it to ‘threaten’ staff. The officers, Steven Smith and Rachel Comotto, tased and pepper sprayed Donald Burgess, who later died in hospital.
Both officers are charged with assault.

Daily Mail

The second incident is Sussex Police visiting Jonjo Hooper in Hastings, for daring to say that Christians needed to take a stand after the killing of Orthodox priest in Sydney. What makes this visit even more sinister is that the police were accompanied by a mental health nurse who clearly believed a Christian in a constitutionally Christian nation wanting to defend the faith (just as the monarch is supposed to) amounts to a psychotic episode and therefore some sort of danger to himself and others.

Daily Mail

The idea of the state using its powers to question the sanity of dissidents or anyone not ‘on-message’ seems quite normal to the visiting officers and the nurse. It makes you wonder if both the Royal College of Policing and Nursing are using old guidelines from the Stasi and GDR in how to gaslight and unsettle political undesirables.

The police are increasingly showing their true colours, as petty bullies and cowards and who cause more harm to the public than help them.

I avoid the police as much as I can given their attitude in dealings with friends neighbours and family members, from laughing in court after a man had died in a car accident, to shouting at old women who were confused by a diversion sign, to behaviour off-duty, they are a special breed of thick, arrogant cunt, none of whom have any friends outside their job and regularly end up beating their wives and kids.

Absolute scum.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

Are cunts.

This as been annoying me so for some time with spilt pop water and little fucking cuts on my fingers. Why the fuck can’t they make a plastic top open up properly anymore.

Anyway yesterday on opening a fucking bottle of coke I read the top. Grrr

Attached for recycling. Wtf. So we can’t be trusted to put the top back on now before we chuck it in the bin for plastics.

Nanny state more bullshit and I imagine virtually impossible to open without spilling it if you are not very dexterous.

Pile of cunt. Thought up no doubt by an absolute cunt.

Nominated by Everyonesacunt.

I write this piece at the end of a bollock-numbingly cold April, so I was curious to see how the BBC would spin this into their monthly Climate Catastrophe tripe. You know the type of thing – ‘Hottest April ever recorded in Timbuktu because of climate change’.

Sadly, El Nino isn’t playing ball and they can’t find anywhere that’s slightly warmer than usual to hyperbolise. That means there’ll be no week-long jolly for Justin Rowland Rat to file a 2-minute report from somewhere exotic that’s spontaneously combusting. Poor Rowland, no free holiday for you this month.

However the BBC’s Ministry of Truth is nothing if not resourceful, so congratulations to Winston Smith for disinterring this old chestnut. Yes, it’s our old friend the ozone hole which is so serious that seals are wearing Raybans and penguins are slapping on the Factor 30.

Let’s let have a look at just one sentence from this garbage with my comments in brackets:
A major cause of ozone loss (a natural process which occurs every autumn in the southern hemisphere) is believed to be (believed by whom, the Swedish mong?) the amount of smoke from unprecedented Australian wildfires (another natural phenomenon which has been occurring for millions of years) which were fuelled by climate change (mostly started by Aussie dickheads).

Hole in the ozone layer? There’s probably a bigger hole in Rowland Rat’s arse as that’s what he talks out of.

BBC News

Nominated by: Geordie Twatt

Good Lord, how many more times are we going to be confronted by THIS?

Express News

Indeed, how many more such vile goings-on never see the light of day, with the criminals never being brought to justice?

Maybe it’s just me, but I detect, shall we say, a certain pattern where the perpetrators are concerned. Perhaps I’m just not making sufficient allowance for ‘cultural differences’.

Perhaps I’d better consider and check my thinking; I wouldn’t want anyone calling me ‘far right’…

Nominated by: Ron Knee