
Right. As usual I like to dial it back a bit to keep us all sane.
So today I am cunting Tupperware.
The other weekend I made 6 portions of chicken Thai curry. (Was fucking lovely, even reheated – a special recipe of people are interested I will share)
And I got my 6 containers out… 4 of which, the lid interacted with the body just fine.
The other 2, nah. They be popping lids and turning into rhomboids and all sorts of shit.
I threw them back in the draw in anger and fast forward to today, having eaten the curries. I now have 5 piles of warped, distorted lidless plastic bullshit.
You find a base. Yep. You find a lid. Yep. Do they match? Of course they fucking don’t.
Try to put the lid on: it resists. You press harder…One corner clicks down and the other end leaps off like a fucking spring trap.
You try again; sweating, rage building and suddenly the entire bastard thing collapses inwards like a neutron star and sprays your leftovers all over the floor.
Now your bolognese is on the tiles, your cat is trying to eat the Bolognese which will make him shit his pants and you are left slamming plastic rectangles together like some mong on a crystal maze timer. All you need is Richard O’Brien with a harmonica in the background and your set.
Don’t …fucking don’t…even get me started on the ‘warped by microwave’ elite tier of these arsehole containers.
They don’t just refuse to stack and oblige being quantised: they bend reality.
Try fitting a warped lid on a warped base and congratulations… Will you start the fans….please!
Fucking grim. And that’s without last week’s curry smelling like a adminals pie I cooked back in 1999.
Plastic pricks. Can’t rely on them, can’t stack them, seal them or depend on them, even when they are in front of you and they shapeshift when any heat is applied to them.
Should employ them as MP’s and save £90k a pop 😉
Nominated by Cunt Executive Officer.