I was listening to a music channel while driving the other day. Well, I say ‘music channel’ but between the phone-ins, the news, the weather and the competitions, there was actually precious little music on offer, but that’s maybe for another time.

Oh, and let’s not forget the bastard adverts. In this case, I’m going for one in particular, one where a gushing, incredibly enthusiastic female was trying to convince the audience that a mobile phone deal was fantastic value ‘from just £something 99 pee per month!’. Even better, the superdelux deal was ‘from as little as £something 99 pee per month! That’s right; only £something 99pee per month!’ (Limited offer, terms and conditions apply rapid blah babble).

It will come as no surprise to cunters to learn that I was so impressed that I raced home and immediately signed myself and the wife up*.

Why, I ask myself, are advertisers so lacking in imagination that they still believe that anybody anywhere is influenced by this hackneyed, worn out technique? ‘From just… for as little as… only…’ ; and they always sound so amazed, you’d almost think they actually believed it themselves.

Fucking boring twats.

*Actually, I didn’t really…

Sporting Life.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

It was as mawkish and as sentimentally over the top as I’d expect.

But it was also worse than that. The departing LFC manager wearing a jumper with a heart on the front with ‘Thanks Luv’ printed below it (good bloody grief). While on the back it said ‘I’ll never walk alone again’. I mean, bloody hell. Can anyone imagine Shanks, Bob Paisley or Joe Fagan wearing such a daft garment and taking part in all that touch feely bollocks?

Then there was Klopp’s farewell speech. Why does everything have to be so over the top and a spectacle in the modern game? When Sir Matt Busby left Manchester United he just announced he was going and that was that. Same with Sir Alf Ramsey and Sir Bobby Robson with England. I can see why Liverpool fans love Klopp, he did put them back on top for a while. But all that syrup drenched hanging it out, which of course was lapped up by the fans at Anfield? I’m surprised there wasn’t ticker tape and fireworks as well.

bbc shit

Nominated by : Norman

 
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spiked

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.

 
This odious dickhead has sent condolences to Iran in the wake of a helicopter crash which has killed, (hooray), some of their most prominent leaders.

Whilst most of the world is celebrating the demise of the death of President Raisi, (The Butcher of Tehran), and Foreign Minister Abdollahian, et al,
lily livered Michel send a condolence message.

Luckily, the UK can no longer claim to be part of this fuckwittery. It seems the Dutch nationalist, Geert Wilders has distanced himself from the Europrats as well. Good on yer Geert.

spectator

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire.

Me neither.

So, to put you all in the picture (pun intended) …
“… Renowned Aboriginal artist Vincent Namatjira is famous for a caricature style which challenges power structures and he says his `Australia in Colour` series is no different. We are all equal in Australia. No matter what heritage you are, or where you come from. We are all Australian. I paint the world as I see it.”

BBC News Link.

Unfortunately, Ms Rinehart, Australia’s richest woman, doesn`t share his vision and is demanding that her portrait be taken down. Personally, I think it`s rather flattering likeness.

But you must know me by now, dear cunters – I`m NOT cunting Mr Namatjira.

Oh, no.

I`m cunting the pretentious cunts that allow a jolly black Abo feller, who got a paintbox and a few brushes for Xmas, to hang his daubs in a public space.

If I was his primary school teacher I`d give him a silver star for effort.?

If I was his career’s adviser, I`d guide him gently into the world of petty thievery and small-time burglary as would surely befit his indigenous destiny.

Still, I suppose it pays for the drugs.

Didgeridoo. (Or perhaps didgeridon’t – NA)

Nominated by : Sam Beau