is a cunt.

Remember VHS tapes? Remember the biggest inconvenience of getting a rental movie was having to rewind the tape because the previous cunt didn’t bother? After that, it was press Play and after a few moments your movie would start. Yes, the picture quality wasn’t always the best. Yes, you might have to dick around with the tracking control to get rid of the black and white bands of picture interference. But you didn’t have to wait long before the opening credits were rolling and you could enjoy the show.

Fast forward (see what I did there?) to today and we have big screen hi-def TVs, multi-channel surround sound systems and hi-def digital discs of your favourite movies. You’ve paid good money for a movie, it’s spinning up in the disc player and you’re moments away from immersing yourself in a visual and audible feast.

Not so fast.

Fucking trailer of another film you’re not interested in. So you’ve basically paid to be advertised to, thus wasting your time and money. Oh wait, the player won’t skip past it either because the main menu option is temporarily disabled on the remote. Bastards! Use fast forward, that’ll fix ’em. Oh wait, another trailer. And another. And another. Finally you get past that crap. Time for the movie you actually paid for? Nope.

A full screen of stills and action sequences from the movie and somewhere buried in there is the option to actually start the movie. Finally, we’re off, right? Nope.

Full screen whine about piracy not being a victimless crime. Yeah, I know. I paid for the fucking disc so can I watch my movie now, please? Nope. Next we get a screen telling us the views and opinions expressed on the disc do not necessarily represent those of the studio who released the film. Really? I honestly thought Liam Neeson was the official spokesperson for Sony Pictures. Do fuck off.

Movie time now? Nope. Next it’s an announcement from Interpol about copyright theft. And you can’t skip that either. Just to make sure you’re even more irritated, the same fucking message comes up next in French, FFS! Can I watch the movie now? Nope.

Full screen telling me the movie’s rating. I don’t care.
Next, full screen telling me it’s a Universal Pictures release. I don’t care.
Next, it’s some animated graphic about the production company. I don’t care.
Next, it’s some logo bollocks about the distribution company. I don’t care.
Next, I’m told it’s a Steven Spielberg movie. I don’t care.
Next, I’m informed who the producer is. I don’t care.
Next, I’m told who the producer worked in association with. I don’t care.

On and on this goes.

I’ve actually timed this on some discs and if you sat through all this crap, it’ll be 15+ minutes before you actually see the first frames of the movie you paid for. That’s pathetic, very annoying and an absolute cunt.

Nominated by : Immigration Yank.

are cunts.

This is an ongoing issue and the absolute bugbear of any road user who has the misfortune to have to drive ( or be driven ) over these ploughed fields masquerading as roads.

Quite apart from the danger of a collision if someone unexpectedly jinks into your path trying to avoid one, there’s the issue of potentially expensive damage to your vehicle should you hit one.

Not to worry, you can always claim from the council can’t you?

Wrong! They have the perfect loophole.
You can’t claim if the pothole is
A. Scheduled for repair, or
B. Hasn’t been reported, so they didn’t know about it.

Got you coming and going, haven’t they? How do you disprove either scenario?

As a matter of interest, the Telegraph has published an article about this, which is behind a pay wall on line, but mentioned that those whose claims were successful are those on two-wheeled transport who suffered significant injury.

times

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Let me present you with a typical school headmaster – an arrogant man who is good at dishing it out, but not so happy having to take it. Felton decided to attack his deputy with an offensive weapon, and inflicted injuries on him. This was is March 2025, now, just ten months later, the sanctimonious old cunt has been arrested, tried, imprisoned – and released!. Just imagine if he had been a lorryn driver or a factory worker. I am sure the would have been looking at a 3/5 year sentence, but poor old Felton, even with his derisory sentence, was shitting himself. “I was afraid I would be raped” (at 54 with a face like that – Christ he has a high opinion of himself!).

Thankfully, the old lags took to “sir” and gave him an easy time.

Given the ludicrously short sentence and the violence displayed by the old bugger, I wish some big black quare had taken a liking to him inside.

Two Tier sentencing in action:

the sun

Nominated by W C Boggs.

It wouldn’t be Christmas ( sorry, the Festive season ) without a tale of woe or two, preferably featuring some “vulnerable” member of society and including the word ” ruined “, so here you are.

Kent Online.

Jean and Ron Rodbourne were due to host the family celebrations. They placed an order for home delivery back in October, which was due to arrive between 4 and 5pm. When it hadn’t been delivered by 6pm, Jean rang only to be told it was a ” computer glitch” and there was nothing that could be done.

Now, here’s where my sympathy chip went on the fritz.

This was the 22nd December, not Christmas Eve. The delivery was from Sainsbury’s, not Fortnum and Mason. It was payment on delivery, so they weren’t left without money to buy groceries elsewhere.

What was stopping their son ( who ended up hosting at his house ) taking them shopping on the 23rd, so plans could go ahead?

Of course, Christmas was “ruined”, and the couple have asked for compensation, naturally.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

are cunts.

Sleeper cells first piqued my interest decades ago before I had even heard the term used. I met a young man working in an office on Smallbrook Ringway in Birmingham who didn’t bother to hide the fact that he hated the British. He was as white as me with a strong regional accent, born in Birmingham of Irish heritage. This was a short time after and a few hundred yards from the bombings of the Mulberry Bush and the Tavern in the Town which is why he made such an impression on me. I learned later in life that this is a known and common thing. In the days of the Iron Curtain for instance many of the refugees who escaped the GDR to the west quickly became active in far left politics and some in “direct action”. Makes me wonder about Mutti Merkel.

People often express surprise that the children and even grandchildren of immigrants to the UK are terrorists. At least they are easier to spot than the white lad I met in Brum all those years ago due to their enhanced melanin levels.

Metro

Nominated by arfurbrain.