‘Sir’ Gareth (knighted for not winning the World Cup or the Euros) was blabbering recently about boys not having any role models.

What? Role models like that waste of sapce house breaking drug pushing woman beating bane of police and shopkeepers cunt, Chicken Floyd George? Because Gareth went out of his way to pay tribute to him by taking the knee for this fucker for an absolutely ridiculous amount of time.

Gareth also says that young lads need role models, and shouldn’t be looking at games and porn. Bit late for that, isn’t it? Every young lad since the year dot has indulged in both. The method and the medium changes, but it’s still the same thing. It’s XBox and Spankbang now. For me it was Space Invaders and Mayfair. Escapism and discovering women (OK, wanking) are part of the growing up process. Is Gareth telling us he never dreamed of being Batman or Captain Kirk, or had a crafty five knuckle shuffle over his dad’s Page 3? Because every other lad has done.

Also, Gareth tells us boys should focus on academics and respect, not on money and status.

Errrr…. Hasn’t he been managaing the biggest bunch of overpaid self important indulged and uppity egos in the history of the English game? Inflatable rainbow unicorns in a swimming pool and cunts on three hundred grand a week. Proper people to look up to, eh?

Gareth… Practice what you preach. Bloody hell.

bbcnews

Nominated by Norman.

Well, today Younger and her hubby took me out to a Toby for an AYCE breakfast, and it was nothing to do with the fact that I had a discount code, or that I was paying.

Anyway, I wondered if AYCE contributes to obesity. This study seems to think it does.

times of india

Now, Younger is somewhat of a heifer, for the life of me I don’t know why, she hardly takes after me, but her hubby is like a whippet and put away three times the amount I did.
He’s not exactly a spring chicken either, 50 next month and Younger got her moneys worth too.

I have to say, that compared to the other customers, we three were positively emaciated.

So does AYCE contribute to obesity?
Yes, without a doubt.

P. S. The sausages were absolutely delicious and I really don’t know how those 3 found their way into my coat pocket, but the dog and I enjoyed our supper.

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Here’s an example.

Rail Forums.

What’s interesting about this is that the person in question was not some spotty, smelly teenager in a hoodie, but a 50 something man who really should have known better.

I rarely travel on public transport, but occasionally go into the cesspit that is our city centre. The number of people who conduct conversations on their mobiles, often on loudspeaker /hands free astounds me.
Do they think that there’s some kind of fucking soundproofing forcefield surrounding them, or do they simply don’t give a shit?

Is this a lack of self-awareness, or simply the first signs of a total breakdown in civilisation?

Better break out the woad and wolfskins folks.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

The Beeb’s radio soap ‘The Archers’ seems to have been around for as long as I have, although I’ve never listened to a single episode of the ‘everyday story of country folk’.

I can’t say the same for a very old friend (I’ll call her Ann) who’s been a devoted follower of things down Ambridge way for donkey’s; that is until recently. When we met for coffee yesterday, she was raging at the show, declaring that she’s finished with it. So what’s pissed her off?

Well it turns out that a storyline has a long-standing character in the show, a b and b owner named Lynda Snell, fasting for Ramadan in support of her Muslim neighbours the Maliks. ‘I wouldn’t mind’ raged Ann, ‘but Lynda Snell is a domineering cow who’s all about herself, and imposing her outlook on others. She’d never be interested in a demonstration like this. It’s completely unrealistic as a story, daft in fact, and it’s really all about the BBC using yet another opportunity to ram its woke values down the listeners’ throats regardless’.

Now I can only go by what my friend says, but on the basis of this, it’s not hard to agree; it’s not as though Al-beebra’s not got form in this regard. Still, perhaps it’s not all bad. Perhaps this storyline’s paving the way for some gritty realism in the show in future, and we can await with excitement the honour killing in the Malik household, the revelation of a clandestine grooming gang operating out of The Bull, and a suicide attack on the milking shed.

Or…perhaps not. These plots just wouldn’t fit in with Al-beeb’s cringing, aching wokeness, would they?

yahoo news

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Think your nice?
Little goody two shoes?

Liar😁

Ever been cheered by the news of someone’s demise?
Not very nice eh?

Camilla Batmanghelidjh
Looked like a cross between Christopher Biggins and Ali Bongo?
I smirked when she snuffed it.

Despised the rag wearing big dollop of shite.

Smug faced Friends actor Matthew Perry,
My first thought was ‘ thank god for that.’

See? Wicked.

Magician Paul Daniels?
No more boring fuckin card tricks!

I whistled for a week at that one.

And I’ve realised I’m not the nicest of men,
Probably not going to heaven?

I feed wildlife
I’m kind to animals
Nice to kids
Nice to the elderly
Don’t cheat on my missus
All to my credit
But on the whole I’m a bit of a orrible cunt.
Oh well,
Which celebs deaths have cheered up other ISAC cunters?

google

Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.