As a bloke with an eye for a nice looking, well heeled lady and who is a people watcher, I can’t help but notice the ubiquitous presence of this female garment

Gone it seems, are the days when a woman (the type with tits and fanny Sir Keir if you’re reading this) would don some decent clobber if she was going anywhere.

A nice skirt and a pair of tights (or stockings phwoaar) used to be the norm when I was a horny youngster. Or a pair of tight Levi’s or something similar.

Anyways, fucking leggings are now the garment of choice for 98 percent of the British female population.

Don’t get me wrong because when leggings are worn by the 10 percent of the female population who can actually get away with wearing them, can look incredible. I mean, who doesn’t like looking at a nice voluptuous firm arse or a pair of inner thighs that could strangle you?

Girls that work out and take care of themselves, fair enough, wear the leggings with pride.

Unfortunately, most of the females I see in these things are the type of women who have never been near a gym and have a silhouette resembling a tin of paint which has been carelessly poured all over the pavement. You know the type. Thin legs, no arse, torso like Humpty fucking Dumpty.

There was a lass in a pair the other morning and they were flesh coloured and you could count the dimples on her arse through the stretched fabric.

What’s more is that they’re often accompanied by some bloke who obviously doesn’t give a fuck or hasn’t the heart or bottle to tell her to put something else on.

Come on fellas. Have a word eh.

Link not particularly related but highly amusing.

YouTube.

Nominated by : Herman Jelmet

Seconded by Lord benny:

I will definitely second that.

I have had the misfortune to study them in detail. A very fat lass in over stretched leggings dropped something in a shop. Ignoring any manual handling training she straddled her legs and bent from the waist and picked the object. At that moment I was able to view the reinforced gusset equally over stretched and white against the shiny black material giving the affect of a maggot infested minge and making the camel foot at the front much more acceptable.

To be honest my revulsion was equal to the time someone posted about split cocks on here.

And, it’s the Fab Four (or is it the Fab Two?) again….
The Beatles.

Instead of focusing on their own musical legacy and giving fans what they want (a Rubber Soul deluxe reissue or the Yellow Submarine film in 4K), the Fab Fools are once again trying to appeal to Gen-Z knobheads and ‘compete’ with modern stars like Taylor Swift (sorry Macca. But Taylor has a far nicer arse then yours).

What is the latest brainwave from Apple to reel in the young ‘uns and idiots?
A Beatles biopic. But, it’s not just one biopic…. It’s bloody four of them….

Each Beatle is getting their own film, and it’s apparently all official and has the (remains of) the bands’ blessing. For a start, why four films about one group? Will all four actors appear in all four films? Not to mention all the others who figure in the story (George Martin, Brian Epstein etc). What is the fucking point of doing four times the work?

Also, the fact that this is ‘official’ rings big fuck off alarm bells. Is each film going to be an ego wank to appease each Beatle or their widows? Yoko Fucking Ono is too old and doddery to do anything nowadays. But her son Sean is well involved in this project. And George Harrison’s widow has become mega uppity and ‘voiciferous’ in the Apple corridors in recent years. The films will probably be sanitised to fuck and leave out anything nasty that they did (sacking Pete Best, the appalling treatment of Cynthia Lennon, John and Yoko’s list of cuntery, Macca belittling and bossing Harrison, and George shagging Ringo’s Mrs).Many old timer fans are dreading the biopics. Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody showed the world that you can write any old made up and never happened shit you like and call it the official story, history and facts be damned. Because you can place bets now that’s what will happen.

Then, there’s the actors themselves…. All four look nothing like the original Beatles. The Ringo one looks Chinese from where I am sitting. And, will we get the usual caricatures? The sneering sarky like a Scouse Vera Duckworth piss and vinegar Lennon (see you, Ian Hart)? The wobbly headed wide eyed fruity voiced thumbs aloft McCartney? And, the other tow will probably be the most difficult to portray (accurately, that is).

I also wonder what the woke quota is going to be… Of course, a film set in the 1960s shouldn’t have one. But I bet it does. That awful Queen biopic had hecklers at an early Queen concert calling Freddie Mercury a ‘Paki’. According to those who knew the band and who were there, nobody ever referred to Mercury by this name. Freddie was born in Zanzibar. Off the coast of Africa. Nowhere near Paki bastard Stan. One of Mercury’s ex gay lovers in the film also said on TV (in the film) that Freddie was just a ‘scared little Paki boy’. No such interview was ever broadcast or even happened. But ‘Paki-itis’ crept into that film with a vengeance. The Beatles have already been bitten by the diversity bug Some treeswinger hip hop twat no sod knows doing an ‘essay’ for their box set of Revolver. So, it wouldn’t surprise me if the amount of black faces in these films is considerable.

Anyway, I reckon these films are going to be a disaster.

Hollywood Reporter.

Nominated by : Norman

are cunts.

Well now, here’s something that you don’t see every day! Hollywood’s got a new superhero film coming out, and I’m sure that like me, you can’t wait for it to hit the big screen.

Put your hands together for ‘Fantastic Four; First Steps’, as we get yet another re-boot of, er, a re-boot. And with stunning originality, the plot focuses around the arrival of (cue growling synthesisers, roiling cloud effects) some alien cunt called Galactus, who for some reason wants to destroy the world. Again. As you do. Time for our heroes to step up once more and save the planet…

If the trailer’s anything to go by, this effort looks like a tacky, formulaic, and very tired final bid to save the franchise. Trouble is, we’ve been there and done that already, and we’ve all got the t-shirt. Oh, and purists will no doubt be outraged to note that in true Hollywoke style, the villain’s henchman, the Silver Surfer, has had his tackle nipped and is now female. They just can’t help themselves.

Well who knows at this moment if this will be a hit or a flop, but my guess is the latter. Superhero fatigue has set in good and proper I’d say, not to mention the fact that there seems to be something of a disenchantment in general these days where Hollywoke product is concerned. One thing I can predict with complete accuracy is that my hand won’t be going into my pocket to watch this. Enough already with the trailer.

Hollywood to me now seems utterly stale and stagnant, obsessed with re-boots, live action remakes and sequels, and full of virtue-signalling tossers who feel compelled to push agendas at the expense of the entertainment that Joe Public craves. Sadly I fear that the Fantastic Four will be one more nail in the coffin. Hollywood; the place where originality and creativity now go to die.

the sun

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Following on from the recent post re Jurgen Klopp and his impossible teef we present to you an internet chancer’s solution to cracking the problem, namely the Jasseem “one size fits all” Comfort Denture – and if you believe that and the guff in this online scam puff then you deserve all you get. Caveat Emptor.

Historically we find the Pharos laid to rest with wooden teeth and gold and silver replacement dentition goes back to the dawn of civilisation. Also wooden dentures with inset human teeth reclaimed from the carnage of the battlefield or what came to be known as Waterloo Dentures were a much prized feature pre NHS. (Note dentists did a particularly roaring trade after the bloody battles of the French Wars. Teeth were one of the prizes claimed by the harridans that travelled with the baggage trains of the winning side).

So onwards and upwards we now find ourselves bombarded with magic toothpastes, cosmetic whitening and arse lift, tit lift, trout pout and veneer and tooth implant clinics and all at astonishing prices. Then there is always the cheaper option of a Turkish holiday/cosmetic procedures combo followed by months of agonising corrective surgery back home in Blighty on the NHS. Into this pageant of dodgy vanity enhancement steps the One Size Jasseem Next-Day Comfort Denture. Not as environmentally enhancing as the plastic free Waterloo Denture perhaps but to reassure the doubtful thus the Mission Statement from the jaspers that punt out Jasseem Dentures:

“With the idea of “green and healthy” embodied in the whole process of product development, we aspire to create innovative and effective products for global customers seeking for beauty and health by adopting the most advanced technologies”.

All smile for the camera please.

sax.com

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

Macben Achianu is,somewhat unsurprisingly,a proper cunt.

BBC News.

It appears its been traumatised by attempting to rent a house from renowned estate agents Gumtree and in the process got relieved of £2000..

It’s a heartwarming tale of very mild deception all wrapped up in the complete fucking idiocy of the hapless Achianu.

No doubt the Blek Key is attempting to leverage his stupidity by letting the BBC in on the sob story in the hope some mugs club together to give him his money back.

What a Cunt.

Nominated by : Unkle Terry