MONSTROUS REGIMENT informatic: Term originates from letters written by Protestant Reformer John Knox circa 1588 railing against the domination in Scotland by Scottish Queens (alas not the LGBTQ+- variety). Now taken to describe the ever deeper penetration of matters feminist into society. AKA the Gender Equality Movement as spearheaded by the 50-50 Project at the BBC and rapidly spreading across the broadcast media in the UK and world wide. Cloned by Sky News with the magnificently named Political Correspondent Amanda Ake-arse. It’s the thing to do innit.

Health and Safety Advisory: Stiff drinks/antidepressants of choice indicated when attempting to read through the link at the bottom.

Results of the link below? Instead of the once customary tall male Oxbridge cunts in skinny suits fronting live outside broadcasts while the Rooskie shite is raining down in Ukraine or Storm Darragh is tearing away the seafront in Bognor we now get legions of posh tottie at it. Very well paid posh tottie no doubt. Common theme bottle blond hair (but with the dark roots left undyed to demonstrate that the intrepid fem is not of a certain age with greyed out hair) and those stuck on eyebrow caterpillars that seem de-rigour my dahlings.

All very well, gotta go with the flow, no profit in standing as an old Canute Cunt against the tide of history etcetera etcetera but bugger me there are vast numbers of these fillies at it. Usual overkill. How many daughters can a BBC Exec have? Cynics Theory dictates that there are so many of these fillies on the payroll to cover for the old monthly indisposition. On that theme the Regiment seem perfectly happy when they can flatly deliver their prepared scripts (we all know they have memories like elephants) but rather less good at putting dodgy cunts of any spectrum to the question. My observation anyway. Am I alone in wishing that during the endless repetition of the same unanswered question Emily or Kirsty get their tits out instead? Perhaps I am. Pass me my Tianeptine dahling.

bbc documents<

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

Keen to cement his position as the most popular British Prime Minister ever (Copyright The Daily Mirror), here comes Sir Rodney Starmfuhrer with his
PLAN FOR CHANGE.

Delivered against a backdrop of a poundshop Nuremberg Rally and looking like he’s badly in need of a laxative, the Dear Leader tells us he has 6 millstones, 5 emissions and 3 foundations. Which are linked. Or something.

So will this meaningless word salad turn things around for him?
I think we’ll be able to draw our own conclusions when Rodders appoints a Minister for Deckchair Rearrangement. Maybe a job for the brilliant Economist when she gets the sack.

Plan for Change?

Sack of Shit more like.

bbcnews

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.

Just like the unflushable turds they are, the East London boy done bad, David Beckham, ex footballer, now media God and spunk donor for a family of publicity hungry scum, and his ugly scrawny wife, who looks as if she is Anal Ease Dodd’s body double, have crawled back into the limelight, sparking rumours that his long felt ambition to get knighted is paying off, here they are – gurning brainless Dave, accompanied by his “dress designer” wife, who looks like one of Henry Vlll’s doomed brides on her way to her beheading, attending the King’s banquet. Two little ignorant grifters, pretending they are somebodies, hoping that Star Fucker Starmer will reward them – you can’t polish a turd but he can try – and he probably will:

the sun

Nominated by W C Boggs.

The worlds oldest bachelor boy has only been messing around with his unique take on making Christmas gravy. The wrinkled rocker uses four different flavours of stock cube, beef, chicken, lamb and vegetable before adding fried onions, teriyaki sauce, Worcestershire sauce, gravy powder and red wine.

“Probably the greatest” gravy recipe in the world says Cliff. Oh really? I can’t see Cliff making anything in the kitchen on his own, isn’t that what houseboys are for?

Professional chefs have described it as “absolutely vile”, not that I take much notice of those cunts. Homemade recipes passed down the generations like a precious family heirloom and local takes on the brown gold are the way to go.

Stick to the wine Cliff you heathen.

Has anyone propped up Miserable and given him some smelling salts yet?

independent

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

Many great things have come out of the US over the years. Rock & Roll music, the beer drinking hat and Donald Trump to name three but festering cat faeces Batman, what the fuckty fuck is spray cheese all about?

The cheese comes in a spray can but is not an aerosol. It squirts out like an oily greasy orange coloured dog turd, with a thick viscous quality sticking to everything like shit to a blanket as the brave or the foolish apply it to their food. It seems a very American thing too, instant readily available and convenient, like going to the fridge to slice some proper cheese is a chore as they squirt away with something cooked up from the devils anus.

Soldiers fighting foreign wars or students studying abroad often get sent food parcels from home with their favourite comfort food in them. Imagine getting sent this abomination? I’d be lobbing it back at the towelheads in Shitholistan along with the RPG’s.

I haven’t actually tried it myself so some input from the General or any other US based cunters would be handy to confirm or refute my slurs on an American food icon.

youtube

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.