Stalinist unions

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Bugger me butler. Back in the seventies again driving me mustard yellow Maxi without a seat belt. Suddenly up pop the old commie cunt undead. Old commie cunts never die – they just smell that way. The Unite Stalinist stooges twitch in to life again to march to another epic fuckup. Grangemouth. You taste death just by saying it, like Paschendale or Stalingrad.

Whilst in the depths classic commie corruption knots and genders. These cunts spend their lives cheating, lieing and conniving in solidarity with the working class while covertly promoting their own expenses, pensions, wives and boyfriends at the expense of the poor punters that pay their dues.

So what about Unite, the union that has released this Cold War virus?

Led by Red Len McCuntsky of Liverpool Militant Tendency fame. Used its block vote to elect Ed Minicunt for the grateful sons of toil. Embroiled in vote rigging allegations in favour of McCuntsky’s close friend Carrie Murphy over the parliamentary seat of Falkirk near Grangemouth. In the mix a cunt name of Jimmy Dean (thought he died in a car crash in Hollywood). This Rebel Without a Cock was head union apparatchic at the Grangemouth plant (resigned) and is chairman of Falkirk Labour Party. Sweetness and light.

Corrupt commie cunts.

Nominated by : Sir Limply Stoke

Charles Philip Arthur George Windsor

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C’mon you lot, show some respect. The Prince of Cunts becomes an old age pensioner and there’s not a peep from you. Let me remind you that this man is THE cuntologists’ wet dream, and the debt we owe him can never be repaid.

Son of a Greek immigrant, Charlie is too thick to know he’s thick and yet he has elevated cuntitude to an art form. He has trumped his father’s one brain cell by having none. He has developed his speech impediment so well that only his tomato plants can understand a word he says (which is a blessing). He would have us all back as mediaeval peasants living wattle and daub hovels and on a diet of free-range turnips. He even genuinely thinks that his ginger son is the product of his own loins, when the young cunt is the spit of his real father. But, finally, would anyone but a 24 carat, cunt want to crawl over the drop-dead gorgeous Diana to poke horse-faced Camilla? I rest my case.

The cunt reckons that being the king over us plebs is like being in prison. Well, Charlie, why don’t you fuck off to a real prison? Instead of raking in £19 million a year from taxpayers and assorted peasants, you would only cost £40,000; a saving of £18,960,000 a fucking year.

Nominated by: Bolton Boy

Football obsessives

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Was a time in me youth when football was a game for men. Freezing dressing rooms, chain pull kazis with perma stains and floating fags at the waterline. Hard shiny Bronco toilet paper to salute the arse. Shin pads? Unheard of. Wet muddy leather balls that could dislocate an ankle if misshit or knock a player out if headed. Thus the callow youth became a man. An Englishman (with brain damage).

The beautiful game now? Overpaid johnny foreigner playing overpaid johnny foreigner on hallowed English turf and managed by overpaid johnny foreigner. And who bought that sacred greensward and mortgaged it orf to fund their dodgy dealings worldwide? Why some other rich johnny foreigner, a yank, a wog a russkie or a chink. Maximise the brand, that’s the real game. Turn the largest profit you can and fuck the fans.

My pet vulture Gristle tells me that a “cheap” season ticket at Arsenal comes in a shade under a grand. We have some of the highest ticket prices in Europe. It costs to follow the brand. Problem is the loyalty of the fans. Listen to any smug faced statto cunt in a bar reeling orf who played in what and where to tanked up professer cunts delivering word of God sermons on 4-4-2 v 4-3-3 formations and you get my idea of hell. Mutual wanking societies that may bitch about prices et al but swollow johnny foreigner cock all the same.

Only chink of light to a sportsman who thoroughly disapproves of the fix unless he is in on it is the current revelation that top level football is bent. No surprise to anyone who lived through the eras of Don Revie and Brian Clough but the scale – europewide Singapore based gangs ect ect – takes one back to gee gee racing in the 1950s (razor gangs, bent stewards, glory days).

Football has been uber trendy for a while, a bit old hat now. Leave it to wankers like Chris Evans and Greg Dyke. I say you sad football obsessive cunts. Get a life donchaknow.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Pudsey

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There’s fuck all worth watching on tellie tonight because Pudsey is back…

Now, I know you are going to think that anyone who says that a charity appeal that raises so much for needy cheeldren should be taken off the air just because it’s a load of purile, talentless shite is a fucking miserable bastard, but frankly I don’t give a shit! Because that’s exactly what it is.

As the late Captain Haddock so succinctly put it back in 2011 : “Pudsey .. the begging, one-eyed, parasite .. can fuck off.” Nicely put Cap’n!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Sandy Toksvig

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Sandy Toksvig – saw her on QI the other night.

I watched for five minutes just to get on my own wick. Her, leaning back, eyes closed, recounting some apparently witty story to a panel and audience of equally smug cunts.

Appalling.

Nominated by: Dan