No, not the ginger wanker married to the attention whore, the country.

If ever there was a more God forsken country, it must be somewhere in the middle east.

There is literally nothing good about it, apart from the M4, so you can get out, sharpish.

My experts the place was fields, rain, sheep and extreme anti-Englishness.

Granted, they’re half decent with the egg-ball, but really, is that it? Even the Jocks can make decent alcohol.

Maybe they do. Never got to find out. An English accent in a North Wales pub?

I was instantly covered in gob and sputum. At first I thought he was refusing to serve me, then I realised he was merely talking to me.

Nevertheless, put me right off. That, and the one-eyed, three fingered barmaid with a tail.

Fuck me, I’ve been in some rough pubs. I mean, I even been to Bradford, but that pales into insignificance to that shit hole.

Here’s the link, boys, there’s lovely for you, isn’t it?

Cunts.

youtube

Nominated by Termujin.

The new woke/PC correct future of quiz shows.

I stumbled across this crock of shite whilst channel hopping tonight (2nd September) on UK comedy channel.

Here is a quick flavour:

youtube

Hosted by that Rosie Jones, who quite frankly is really in the wrong job. A comedian who takes 10 minutes to blurt a punchline out of any joke, or no one can understand really loses the point of being a comedian. It’s almost like she chose this career, so she can be permanently offended by people who criticise her. Forgive me, I don’t dislike Rosie Jones because of her disabilities. I dislike her because I simply don’t find her funny. In the same way I don’t find Lenny Henry funny- not because he’s blick…he just isn’t funny (to me anyway)

Jones has the rent-a-mob on board with this pile of crap…Katherine Ryan, that blind comedian bloke (in the episode tonight) et al. The episode I saw was cringe inducing…..Rosie trying to be witty during rounds was awkward, as you could see on the ‘celebs’ faces they were thinking the same.

All the ‘contestants’ are either gay, trans or whatever and you may note they also have their preferred pronouns on their name cards…..what the fuck?

Anyhow…..this is what those under 40 consider funny now. I am not, and I don’t.

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

At one time I happily thought we’d seen the last of this charmless fat cunt on this side of the pond after he fucked off Stateside.

Sadly it was not to be. After polluting the airwaves over there for a number of years (inc. that infamous, cringeworthy episode of royal backside sniffing with Has been), the unfunny, obnoxious twat is now back in the UK, where he’s currently filming ‘Gavin and Stacey’ again.

The good news is that it’s apparently going to be the last episode ever. The bad news is that it’s going to be a ‘Christmas special’.

I can barely control my apathy, and won’t be cancelling all other engagements in a fever of anticipation.

Metro

Nominated by Ron Knee seconded by Termujin.

I was really hoping when the fat, gay twat did a parachute jump with Tom Cruise that either the plane would crash or the fat spaz would just crater into the ground at terminal velocity.

Hoy fucking gay is he? Does his diet just consist of soya and estrogen?

Fucking embarrassment.

youtube

Three times during my career I recommended people to help get them fixed up with a job at the place where I worked. The first was a bloke called Paul who wasn’t really a friend, he’d ingratiated himself with some of my mates at the pub. He had lost his job at a supermarket and was moaning about having no money. I asked for him at my place of work and they gave him a job in the loading bay. He lasted about two weeks, he was fired after they found him asleep in the back of a wagon. Didn’t make me look good.

At another company my manager told me they were going to need to take on around a dozen women in a hurry, to do packing work and asked if I knew anyone. I said yes, the girlfriend of a mate had been unemployed for some time. Can’t remember her name. He said see if you can bring her in. I went to her house and told her about the job, and she said yes immediately. She lasted a couple of months, then gave it up and went back to being unemployed. When I saw her I asked her why she’d quit. She said she just didn’t like it and gave silly excuses. What’s liking it got to do with anything? It was a job, she was earning money.

The third time, I was working in an office and my manageress told me they knew I had more work than one person could handle and they were going to employ a junior to help me. i was dubious about this – if the junior wasn’t any good, I’d have to tell them, then they’d get another one who might be no better. If the chosen junior turned out to be good, how long would they stay, working for such a low salary? About three months earlier, they’d hired a woman called Elaine to do a temporary job which had come to an end. I had got along extremely well with Elaine, she was a good worker and I’d been sorry to see her go. I asked my manageress if they’d consider taking Elaine on full time as my assistant. They did, and agreed to pay her twice as much as the junior was going to get.

I didn’t know what I’d let myself in for. She started back and it was like working with a completely different person, it was as though her twin sister had turned up instead. She was less than friendly, awkward, uncooperative, even argumentative. She tried to divide the work up into ‘hers’ and ‘mine’ and moaned about her wage because she knew I was getting more. A number of times I thought about talking to the manageress about the situation, but it was me who recommended her and I would’ve felt foolish. The atmosphere between us became almost hostile and then, hearing that the company was relocating to another town, she gave in her notice, which came as a relief. I vowed never to recommend anyone for a job again, and I didn’t.

The Daily Star

Nominated by Allan.

Fridgescaping.

This nom will be of no help to cunters who, in the pursuit of whatever dubious thrills, have become locked inside a refrigerator. No, here is a matter of serious concern, a hideous new trend of which we should all take heed. Born of the mindset which lines its yard with gnomes, fairy lights, immense plastic butterflies or cement casts of the Buddha, this deviation (we may reasonably surmise) is the product of the broody or nesting female of the species. For whom the stark austerity of chilled groceries on shelves is too much to bear. And who, having duly decorated this purely functional space with knickknacks and objets de tat, will inevitably demand from the breadwinner, ever-larger refrigerators to accommodate her perversion…

CNN Link

Nominated by: Komodo