Not just a mega-cunt, but a pathetic joke into the bargain.

The 93 year old “grandpa out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre lookalike” has married a 67 year old Russian gold digger.

What’s his game?

Egomania?

No chance of getting it up without a skip full of viagra.

Be dead next week, if not already.

Guess he goes by the Oscar Wilde maxim:

“There’s only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

Or in Rupert’s case: “there’s no fool like an old fool.”

What a silly bunt.

bbcnews

Nominated by Mingejuice Bottler.

This 24 year old was recently convicted of sexual assault and rape of two young females.

Admittedly, the young ladies were somewhat ‘refreshed’ after a boozy session, and were both asleep.
Not that this, in any way, excuses Mr. Fox. As both young ladies were obviously incapable of consenting, he should have kept it zipped.

That’s not what this nom is about.
Mr. Fox defense was he suffers from sexsomnia!

Eh? Thats got to be made up, JP, I thought.

Well, no. A few minutes consult with Aunty Google will inform you that it’s a real condition, like sleep walking, but with sex involved. I’d attach a link, but Google it because WordPress doesn’t like it if you try more than one link.

Liverpool Echo Link. Laaa.

Didn’t do him any good, he got 10 years.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

Recent unfortunate experiences with certain ailments has led me seek out further information and clarification about them. In this day and age, the obvious source of reference is the internet.

But my experience has taught me that referring your queries to Doc Internet are not good for you, being at once frustrating, unenlightening, and anxiety inducing.

Say for example that you’ve got an itchy spot on your arm. According to the Doc, it could be a pimple or a mole, BUT it might be skin cancer, so see your GP. Got a persistent cough? Could be an infection or hay fever, BUT it might be lung cancer, so see your GP. Having a wee bit of wee trouble? Could be an infection or prostatitis, BUT it might be prostate cancer, so see your GP.

In short cunters, my suggestion is that if you’ve got any health worries, save yourself time and angst by cutting out the middle man and going straight to your GP. It’s odds on that you’ll just end up doing that anyway.

As far as I’m concerned, Doctor Internet serves no positive purpose beyond acting as a spiritual home for hopeless hypochondriacs, which I for one am fast becoming.

Nominated by Ron Knee.

I’m sure all the closet ‘swifties’ here on IsAC simply cannot wait for ‘Tay Day’, an event organized by the University of Liverpool academics to “debate and deconstruct” the stars work.

On the 12th of June prior to her three day run of sold-out shows in the city, the University of Liverpool will host a “symposium for fans, students and academics to engage with the cultural phenomenon that is Taylor Swift”.

Cultural phenomenon eh? Well only if you are a teenage girl or an overexcited poo pusher who live their lives on TikTok and believe the manufactured media hype about this plastic pop princess. How much deconstructing of her work can you do aside from drawing the conclusion its just another load of unoriginal cliched sterile shite indistinguishable from what passes for musical talent nowadays. She has the right opinions and has sucked the right cocks to get where she is is about the size of it and you don’t need to have gone to university to figure it out either.

And anyway Liverpool gave us the bubble perm, scallies in shell suits and the Anfield Rap so what the fuck do they know about culture?

bbcnews

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

Hot off the press, OpinionatedCunt opines with this:

The BBC’s obsession with Taylor Swift.
Please, make it stop. Every single day I’m assaulted by articles about this fucking woman. To hear the way the cunts harp on about her you’d think she was Jesus, Gandhi and MLK all rolled into one. Their obsession with her has gotten that bad that she even has her own section now ffs.

More BBC News.

Please BBC, I know it’s hard for you but PLEASE try and ignore her just for one day. No other entertainment figure receives even a fraction of the attention and slavish devotion you give her.

Worry no longer, fellow cunters. Within four years we will have an answer to this puzzling question that keeps us all awake at night.
The Leverhulme Trust have awarded teams of researchers from Lancaster University, and the University of Bath a grant of £498k to solve this riddle.

Yes, nearly half a million pounds!
Money well spent, obviously.

“Hello, Leverhulme Trust research grants department? Oh, hello, me and a few of my fellow researchers were wondering if we could get a grant.
What for? Oh, we thought a ground-breaking genetics study into why zebras have stripes might just pinpoint why they have their distinctive black and white patterns.
You’ll send me the application form?
Super”

express

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.