Louis is a documentary maker.
Usually looking into cults, cranks like scientologists, porn stars etc.

He can be quite entertaining and has interviewed people such as Jimmy Savile and Paul Daniels.

He looks like he’s wearing one of those glasses and fake nose combos from a joke shop.
Know who I mean?

Anyway last night I watched his latest offering ‘ the settlers’.

It was Israeli right wingers who are settling land in Gaza previously help by Palestinians.

Fuck me, it was biased as fuck.
No attempt at impartiality.

There wasn’t much mention of the rapes, beheadings, or hostage taking.

BBC party line all the way.

Well I thought the Israelis were right to turf the murderous cunts off the land.
Especially with a bullet up the khyber.
I won’t watch Louis anymore from now on.
He can fuck right off.

youtube

Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.

I don’t know why Mrs Cunter likes watching this programme.
It’s not like she can grow flowers here.
It’s all palms and cactii for us.

I don’t mind Monty Don, he knows what he is talking about and his dog is obviously A Very Good Boy.

The rest of his team are a different matter altogether.

An ugly black women, a scruffy, unshaven spiv with a speach impediment, a saggy old bag lady and worse of all, a flid.

How she ever got employed as a gardener is beyond me.

She might be very clever with planting small things with her feet but she would be fucked by digging up a tree stump.

I am amazed by the soil in Monty’s garden.
Whenever he has to dig a hole for anything the soil is as soft as shit.
You never see him struggling with hard, compacted ground and finding old roof tiles and bricks buried like in the real world.

Then, like all TV gardeners they come out with the Latin names for plants.

What’s the fucking point?

Nobody is going to write them down or remember them.
I reckon the presenters have to use an autocue as well.
I don’t believe for one minute that they know the Latin for the plants they show.

So why tell us?

You go to the garden centre and say,
“Oi mate, I want half a dozen solanum lycopersicum abracazebra. And don’t try and palm me off with some lycopersicon esculentum. You dodgy cunt”.

As if the minimum wage garden center worker would have a clue what you were on about.

And at the end of the programme Monty gives you your jobs for the weekend.

Pinch out your chrysanthemums.
Pot on your geraniums.
Multch your sweet potatoes.

Yes Monty. Thanks for reminding me. I will get straight on it.

Gardener’s World.
A load of manure.

bbc

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.

Not Francis’s fault, poor old devil – titter ye not, but the 0500 hours news on Wireless 4 this morning led yet again with the story of the ghoulish visitors in Rome, so intent on seeing the poor old gent, they kept the museum open all night so they could shuffle past. Some of the bleeders even took photographs on their mobile phones, a cross in one hand and the iPhone in the other.

Then there is the exciting news that our atheist Prime Minister Keir Rodney will be at the funeral , no doubt crossing himself animatedly, so he looks like one of those dancers on Top Of The Pops in 1965 (or Top Of The Popes), and no doubt pleading that Anthony Blair should be the next Pope. Kweer will be “laser focused” and “crystal clear”

Those ghastly, grisly photographs of the dead Pope make me feel sick – it looks as if they didn’t put his teeth in. On Saturday it will be interesting to see who looks deader – the Pontiff or Dame Keir, with his white make-up on.

There have been hundreds of acres of newsprint, God alone how many hours of TV and radio, but perhaps the most egregious article (apart from the sentimental rubbish in the Daily Mirror and other tabloids yesterday) is this one, which fair put me off my Spotted Dick on Monday (I knew I shouldn’t have gone anywhere near Mandy!):

Daily Fail

Nominated by W C Boggs.

”Trans people ‘seeking asylum abroad after Supreme Court ruling’

Yes, the totally illogicals decision that people are born with their biological sex has sent the woopsies into a spin.

”Trans people are seeking asylum abroad amid fears for their safety after last week’s Supreme Court judgment, a Labour peer has claimed.”

Yes, as soon as this judgement came out the streets were thronged with bigots looking for drag queens to murder. The fellas dressed up can no longer hang around womens changing rooms and the women dressed up can no longer piss in urinals.

Lord Cashman is appalled. But what this has to do with gay rights is debatable. Unless you accept that a trannie is a homosexual with mental problems. If you think a trannie can choose gender then you must also think that anorexics are fat. Stands to reason.

Oh dear
Too bad
Never mind.

MSN

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

This event started in 1907, only stopped for the two World Wars. 2025 will run from May 26 to June 7, featuring 11 days of racing action, but the cunting here, is the number of people, that over the last 117 years, have been killed. Riders, sidecar pilots, marshals & spectators. There were two, that lived near me, one was killed on a Triumph 500 in the early 50’s, the other on a Yamaha in the 80’s. Some bad years were 1970 & 2005, where the average death rate of 2.5/year was exceeded. So why do they do it? Barry Sheene crashed here riding a 125 in 1971, & became a critic, citing its extreme danger, & never rode the T.T. again. In those days it was on the Grand Prix calendar, so it was compulsory to compete. Sure some things have improved, like G.P.S. trackers are now fitted to the bikes, so that paramedics can get there quicker, in the event of an accident, but that won’t help if someone has hit a tree, a pub, or someone’s front wall at speeds of around 200 M.P.H. It will be a mixture of concentration, courage, skill, knowledge of the track, an element of luck & a bit of pure madness. The bikes are getting quicker, & the average speed record now stands at 136.35 M.PH. set back in 2023, meaning that the 37.73 mile course was completed in just over 16 & a 1/2 minutes. There have been bird strikes, & I guess many other forms of fauna, have contributed to accidents over the years. There has been talk of having a similar set up on the Isle of Whyte, but nothing further to add on that one for now.

wiki

Nominated by Lord Scunthorpe, Link provided by Cuntemall.