are cunts.

I read yet another pointless article the other day

bbcnews

So, Ofcom, after about 3 minutes of my own research, I`ve compiled a table of stats for you below. I hope you may find it useful to aid you in any future deliberations.

Largest social media platforms, at this time:

№ of Users …

Facebook — 3.05 billion
WhatsApp — 2.78 billion
YouTube — 2.49 billion
Instagram — 2.04 billion
WeChat — 1.32 billion
TikTok — 1.22 billion
Telegram — 800 million
Snapchat — 750 million
X (formerly Twitter) — 550 million

Why they exist …

Facebook — to make an obscene amount of money
WhatsApp — to make an obscene amount of money
YouTube — to make an obscene amount of money
Instagram — to make an obscene amount of money
WeChat — to make an obscene amount of money
TikTok — to make an obscene amount of money
Telegram — to make an obscene amount of money
Snapchat — to make an obscene amount of money
X (formerly Twitter) — to make an obscene amount of money

What they do to `protect` users from alleged/perceived `harmful` content, and why …

Facebook — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
WhatsApp — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
YouTube — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
Instagram — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
WeChat — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
TikTok — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
Telegram — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
Snapchat — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
X (formerly Twitter) — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.

What they will actually do to comply with the outlined `punishments` in the Ofcom report …

Facebook — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
WhatsApp — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
YouTube — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
Instagram — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
WeChat — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
TikTok — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
Telegram — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
Snapchat — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.
X (formerly Twitter) — absolutely fuck-all. They couldn`t give a shit.

Ofcom.

Ofuc: Officially fucking useless cunts.

Nominated by Adolph Schicklgrüber.

Probably, C.A.

This ‘rapper’ has just been arrested for possible sex-trafficking and will go to trial next May. Apparently, police found 1000 bottles of baby oil in his L.A. pad. Perhaps Sean Coombs does a lot of wanking.

As far as I can recall, this chancer had one hit in the last century and even that was purloined from the Police’s Every Breath You Take. There was another hit, but some other feller did all the work while P.Diddy did a quick “yo, yo, yo, bitch” rap which included the words “Ah didn’t wanna let choo leave, gave you extra cheese”. Booker Prize.

Rap seems to consist of stealing an old bassline or nursery rhyme-like melody, then either side of it, bragging about how marvellous or how wealthy you are.

Thank goodness there are some dirty paedohs outside of the BBC.

Sean Coonbs/Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy/P Diddy/ Puffy, you are a cunt.

Rap is fucking shite.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous.

There seems to be a proliferation of BBC or BBC-related nominations, which is rather interesting, and so I would like to thrown my pfennig into this – but with a slight twist: I propose a little competition within this nomination to see who can identify the next BBC presenter who disgraces themselves in whatever disgusting fashion before being barred from showbusiness forever as they seem be dominating this area of filth and sleaze of late (apart from the bumboy Phil Schofield, of course). Seems to be a prerequisite for the job.

My nominations/wish list are …

Danny Sebastian (me neither – see link)
Lenny Henry
Naga Munchetty
Clive Myrie
Jeremy Vine
Nadiya Hussain

The rest are just overpaid hypocritical narcissists.

But I`m sure you can do better.

Auf Wiedersehen, Pets & Schadenfreude.

bbcnews

Nominated by Adolph Schicklgrüber.

or… the Slow, Steady Death of Europe

Well it’s another day, another ‘migrant crisis’ story. Or three. Or six.

You’ll remember Liebour’s pledge to ‘smash the smuggling gangs’ and end illegal (sorry, ‘irregular’) migration to the UK. Here’s one for you. The Home Office has just ‘awarded’ new contracts to run migrant ‘processing centres’ in Kent up until 2032, at an eye-watering cost of over half a billion to UK taxpayers already on their knees;

express

We’ll still be ‘processing’ the cunts for years then. And once here, the chance of getting rid of most of them is a big fat zero. Give ’em all a hotel room, money, clothes, a mobile phone; it’ll only cost a few billion a year, which can be clawed back by getting rid of the Winter Fuel Allowance… The gangs, far from being ‘smashed’, have been given a licence to print money.

It’s not just here of course, the bastards are piling in everywhere. Take the Canary Islands for instance. Apparently the best part of thirty thousand have pitched up there since the start of the year, with a thousand arriving on a single day;

youtube

Ditto Greece. Ditto Italy. Ditto Malta…

Naturally any attempt at all to try to get to grips with the problem runs the risk of falling foul of the judges of the European Court of Human Rights, whose members appear to live with their heads in the clouds, or up their own arses. This is even the case where we’re dealing with bad un’s of the worst sort;

newsnow

Nope, you can’t throw out Mumbo N’Jumbo, an ‘asylum seeker’ from Nigeria, even though he’s been convicted of running drug smuggling and prostitution rings. He’s fathered two kids in France and four in the UK, so he’s ‘entitled to a family life’ (or two). No you can’t send Abdul back to Pakistan; he might look 38 but he’s only 15 and says he’s gay, so he might be stoned to death if deported. No you can’t send Ali back to Iran for raping and murdering that schoolgirl in Rochdale; he’d face ‘the cruel and unusual’ punishment of death there. This cunt’s ‘entitled’ to an education, that cunt’s ‘entitled’ to health care, some other cunt’s ‘entitled’ to a decent haircut…

Let’s face it cunters; we have weak, lily-livered politicians and governments at the helm, most of whom are too cowardly to get a real grip on things even when the vast majority of citizens want action. Even when there’s an attempt to do something, like as not that effort will fall on ‘yooman rights’ grounds, and even utter cunts will prove impossible to remove.

So it goes on. We’re being swamped by all manner of grifting, freeloading cunts and criminals, most of whom are from alien cultures who have little or no understanding or consideration for our inherent values, but who know a soft touch when they see one. They’re only too happy to pile in, slowly but surely turning Europe into the very shitholes they say claim to be desperate to get away from.

To quote Yoda, ‘fucked we are’.

daily sceptic

This Epistle was created by Ron Knee.

are cunts.

I remember watching an episode of Tomorrow’s World when I was a child.
The revelation on that particular programme was that in the future there would be no need for food.
Cooking would be redundant as you would be able to get all of your nutrients by taking a cocktail of pills.

Of course that didn’t catch on.
They didn’t take into account that preparing and sharing food is ritualistic.
It’s a basic, human thing to do.

No young man has ever proposed to his sweetheart over a couple of pills and a glass of water.

Nobody has ever celebrated a birthday or anniversary by downing a handful of capsules.

For many, to cook for someone is a privilege.
It’s important.

La mesa.

People often say that the kitchen is the heart of the home.
That is only true if you have a table to eat from in the kitchen.
A small, galley type kitchen barely big enough for two people can hardly be described as the heart of the home.

An important feature of many Mediterranean homes is the table.

It’s usually a simple wooden table with a number of wooden chairs.
Nothing elaborate, but extremely important.

That is the heart of the home.
The entire house can get flattened by an earthquake but the table must be saved.

To be invited to someone’s home is to be invited to their table.
You will of course be offered wine and food.

How fucking ignorant can these fussy eaters be?

You don’t eat dairy products.
You don’t eat pork.
You only eat ‘organic’ produce.
You only drink fair trade coffee.
You have ‘got’ some imaginary allergy, diagnosed by yourself.
You are a fucking vegan.

Or a combination of all of the above.

Fussy eaters will not compromise.
They think that they are being special and interesting when in reality they are just being cunts.

They will not, even for one evening put their silly habits to one side.
Yes you may be vegan but that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible for you to eat meat.
It only means that you prefer not to.

Forget your preferences for a short while.
Understand that someone is welcoming you to their table.

But they won’t because they don’t care about who they insult.
It’s all about them.

La mesa mía.

Mrs Cunter wanted to invite her friends around for a barbecue.
After some thought she changed her mind.
One of her friends is a vegan.
A completely uncompromising vegan who gets upset and refuses to eat if meat has been prepared in the same place as her vegetarian food.

The food that someone has gone out of their way to buy for her.

Mrs Cunter cancelled her barbecue evening.
She said, “Fuck this, I can’t not invite her and I can’t be arsed with her fucking ignorance”.

Quite right too.

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.