The lazy fucking dog owners around Aldershot are right cunts!
They drive down the training area, open their car doors and say “off you go fido, have a shit!” Wankers the lot of them. The car parks are peppered like turd studded mine fields.
The recruits training on the area will probably look back on the experience with disgust (exercise dog shit, the day I covertly crawled 2 miles over multiple piles of dog shit). On the plus side they are probably more switched on about where they place their feet than their forbears were, so useful for the current deployment environments…
Nominated by: Lord Benny
My dog loves a good shit, more than that he loves watching me pick up his shit. Once he has had a good shit he sits there and watch’s me intently as I a bag it up. Sometimes it seems like he holds some back for a another deposit further along the walk so he can watch me pick up more of his shit.
Mostly he is my best friend, at these times he is indeed a cunthound.
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As a Bavarian shite hound owner, I can confirm that when a Rottweiler parks it’s fudge you have no choice but to pick it up.
Not so much a case of someone treading in it, more a case of someone tripping over it.
The worst offenders round my way are the yummy mummies and Russian trophy whores. When little foofykins drops a log, they turn their surgically altered noses up, pretend to be on an important phone call and fuck off in the opposite direction.
The cunts.
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I freely admit that I am more of a cat person, but dogs are fine too *IF* you’re a responsible dog owner. What gets me about dogs is, (a) they’re fucking loud and (b) they’re messy. If some cunt in your street has a big dog, don’t all the rest of us know about it. On the other hand, if my cat has a good meowing session, who does that disturb? No one! Also, I can leave my cat indoors all day and when he need to relieve himself, he dutifully does his business in his litter tray. Dogs? Not so much. You need to let them out every 30 seconds to shit/pee and if you’re out all day expect piles of piss and shit to clean up off your nice clean floors. As I say, that has more to do with dog owners being irresponsible than dogs being awful creatures.
Speaking of cuntish dog owners, years ago I used to play village level football on a Saturday afternoon. Our home pitch was a roped off area in the local public playing fields/recreation area. Yes, it was public land but it was roped off between games to clearly indicate it was a sports playing field. Then we had the local dog owners who would take their fucking dogs up to the playing fields for some exercise. Off the leash of course, the dogs would ignore the ropes and stray onto the pitch where they’d shit to their hearts content, probably watched with glee by their fucking dickhead owners happy in the knowledge they wouldn’t have to clean it up. Fast forward to a Saturday afternoon and we’d show up for the game and our playing surface would be contaminated by dog shit. Imagine going into a sliding tackle and sliding through dog shit. Or playing in goal and having to catch a ball with dog shit on it. Not pleasant. I guess it was too much trouble for the bastard owners to call their dogs away from the pitch or clean up the dog shit for the sake of the local football team’s health and well being. Absolute cunts.
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‘A dirty sliding tackle’ It would definitely be with dog shit up your leg. The cunts.
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My dog’s called Gary Lineker…
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Mine is called Sit.
Hilarious when you call him. Here Sit.
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Except in England, Cat owners are also lazy cunts too. Empty a litter tray? Nope, the fuckers just lock the cat outside all day.
Hence my earlier cunting about cats having shitting competitions in Herbaceous borders.
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Always thought the sliding tackle was developed for dog shite orn the park. What better way to catch your daily dose orf canine toxoplasmosis (buggers your eyes that one), tape worm, ring worm, all sorts orf diarrhoea causing bugs, an almost endless list.
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Orn reflection the romantic streets orf Paris are covered in dog merde (or is that the Pareeeshans?) to an even greater density than any wog city. Perhaps why our muslim friends are so at home there.
I can hear Piaf singing now….
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3742/10728932193_2b3798225e_m.jpg
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You are correct, Sir. There are all sorts of nasties lurking in dog poo. Apart from smelling foul, it’s pretty toxic stuff.
I too have visited Paris on a few occasions. I recall really only three things about those visits (apart from the obvious touristy stuff):
1. It’s full of French cunts.
2. The underground requires an IQ of 4 million to figure it out.
3. It smells. There’s an unpleasant odour lurking about Paris. Yuck!
Best thing about France? Jean-Michel Jarre and ……erm….that’s it. Oh go on then, I’ll give it croissants as well. They’re pretty good. And Kronenbourg 1664. But that’s it!
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Indeed my near colonial cousin, you too have caught a nosefull orf le pong Parisien. ‘Tis the drains, too small and massively overworked by le crap Francaise. Alas the Gaulic cunts have never bothered with good basic sanitation unlike London with Bazalgette and the great Victorian drive to eliminate the insanitary.
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Further orn reflection the pong is also likely to be be French fanny. Little girls are taught by mama never to wash their cunts. Orn a warm Parisian evening can be a little overwhelming.
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Wife wants me to go to Paris but I’m a bit put off by the frequency with which certain folk blow themselves up shouting abra cadabra or something. She goes there every now and again for work and it always seems to be just after these cunts have a little soirée. C’est la vie…..
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“Best thing about France? Jean-Michel Jarre”
Isn’t Jean-Michel Jarre like the french equivalent of Mike Oldfield or some shite like that? what do you consider his best piece’s of music?
Also what about Jean Luc Ponty or stephane grappeli the masters of the violin. Or claude debaussey for that matter I would consider Clare de lune to be one of the best ambient classical pieces conceived. In fact I played that piece and a few other choice classical cuts for my dying cat, she seemed pleased enough she was not some uncultured pleb cat she’s high class pussy….cat
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TS: Sort of the Frog equivalent of Mike Oldfield, though JMJ is far more electronic. His best album (IMO) is Equinoxe, particularly Equinoxe Part 5. Simply stunning.
Thanks for the tips on the other artists you mentioned. I’ll check them out. The wife plays violin in an orchestra, so she might know some pieces by them. Cheers – I.Y.
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Was just wondering cause I heard oxygene by JMJ and didn’t care for it. I remember I was recommended him on the strength of Oldfields work.
Keep in mind I only heard it once or twice and I didn’t get tubular bells the first time around either. Sometimes a 2nd or 3rd listen is in order to fully comprehend.
Jean Luc Ponty is a violinist (electric violin too) who has played with artists such as Mahuvishnu orchestra, Frank Zappa, and Jon anderson(Yes vocalist). Wife in a orchestra?! cool beans no small feat thats forsure
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In Army basic training on Exercise Final Fling, we came under contact so I jumped to the base of a nearby tree only to discover my left elbow resting on a freshly laid dog egg.
This happened at the exact same training area of which you speak. Cunts indeed.
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French poodle no doubt, booby trapped you the bastard.
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Every other house around me seems to have at least one dog, so there is rarely an hour going by without one of the cunts barking it’s fucking tripe out. It’s always the little fuckers too, yelping like you had pliers on their pissflaps. Near me there is a pair of little bastards that bark all fucking day. Occasionally the cunt who owns them shouts at them but this is just another pleasant noise coming from his fucking garden. I hope my cats are shitting in his flower beds the cunt.
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Yep its the fucking dumb fucktard owners that are the true fucking cunts here. Come across them regularly on my thrice weekly 4 mile brisk hike around one of the local hills. Most do the decent thing and bag it up, some just don’t give a shit (pardon the pun) but the ones that fuck me off the most are the ones who see me approaching and pretend to get the ‘doggy bag’ out of their pocket when they really have no intention of using it at all. I usually walk past a few yards and then stop and stare back at them. Its so funny watching these fucking cunts trying to make out like they’re going to clean up their dogs shit. What i’d love to do is smack em one in the face and then rub their noses in their dogs fresh new steamer. Absolute fucking cuntards.
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Follow them home with said dog turd and then post it through their letterbox, or chimp it at their windows.
I hate dog shit, but I know these cunts would hate that even more.
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