are useless cunts.
NONE of them fucking work. NONE.
Hold your breath? Tried. Tried strangling myself, suffocating head in pillow, it doesn’t work.
Drink a cold drink? Took a gulp of the heavily iced vodka and orange that gave me the cunts in the first place, didn’t work.
Pull your knees to your chest? Dislodges a mega fart but doesn’t cure the hiccunts.
I know one thing that’ll work, so I’m off to watch an ISIS instruction video.
Nominated by WokeUpTodayAndRealisedWhatACuntIAm.
Hiccups are usually caused by eating too much or too quickly.
Perhaps if people weren’t such greedy fucking pigs they wouldn’t need a cure.
Good morning.
6
Drink a pint out of the wrong side of the glass. It doesn’t cure them, but you’ll be so annoyed at spilling your beer all over yourself that you’ll forget about the hiccups.
Works for me.
6
: I tried strangling myself”…
“suffocating head with pillow”…
jesus Wokey,
hiccups aren’t your problem
its bad medical advise.
As the Northwests leading unlicensed medical practitioner
may I suggest getting a friend or loved one to take a running kick straight in your knackers.
doesn’t cure hiccups but will take your mind off them.
6
You need a short, sharp shock to stop those hiccups.
Get an eyeful of this:
https://share.google/aitAzFekVgNbfzmVM
3
that looks infected.
2 week course of antibiotics clear that up.
Do you know Thomas,
probably a optical illusion
but could swear it winked at me!
3
Mmmm…juicy.
Inviting you in, MNC…😉
3
Well that cured my early morning stiffy.
3
Paging Roger Mellie, Lloyd Grossman’s off ill
“Who lives in a clunge like this?”
1
ps
hiccups is a symptom of moral delinquency,
and poor hygiene.
you should be ashamed of yourself
3
As everyone in the world isn’t walking around with hiccups and there is no universal cure, then it’s safe to assume that your hiccups will eventually go away of their own accord.
Time is the cure.
Impatient cunts.
2
Charlie Osbourne’s case was rather different, because he slipped & fell while working on a farm, then had hiccups continually for the next 68 years.
2
What you need is a mental shock..
So try this, if there was a general election tomorrow, labour would still be in power…
Horrifying isn’t it..
3
Breathe deeply in and out to get your diaphragm back in sync with your breathing.
Takes a bit of practice and patience, but it works.
2
Current medical research into hiccups is poor at best.
some things we do know
1) your doing it on purpose
2) its sexually transmitted
3) its fatal
if you are a hiccuper you may very well continue to hiccup up to 6 months after death
its one of the main reasons cited for divorce and for spousal abuse.
5
All true.
That’s why Kim Deadbeater and Esther Ratsarse want terminal hiccups made allowable for assisted suicide.
2
The previous record for hiccups is an estimated 430m over 68 years, only recently beaten by Jason Arday.
7
@Lib…. obviously you are a racist, Jason found a cure but he was silenced by big pharma 😩…it says so in his memoirs
3
I remember Dr David ‘There are no WMDs in Iraq’ Kelly went down to the woods to find a cure for his hiccups. Or was it to find Tony Blair’s cottage. Either way same end result.
1
Imagine that fucker on Record Breakers!
Roy Castle and Norris McWhirter wouldn’t be able to keep up with the amount of records Arday was breaking every hour.
1
He also invented a cure for hiccups by taking Isadora Duncan out for a spin.
0
Tell someone they can cure their hiccups by trying to shit themselves, then sit back and wait for the fun to start.
1
Research by the Andy Tatlock Institute has found that hiccups are more prevalent in affluent white southern types who clearly have too much money.
The institute also found evidence that climate change, largely caused by the same demographic, is most likely a contributory factor.
Mr Tatlock, the institute’s founder said ‘Do you like buses? I do. Have you seen de buses i had refurbished in Manchester? Buzzin’ like!’
1