I discovered these words in the top left hand corner whilst struggling to open a box of Ty.Phoo teabags. Highlighted in a bright yellow against the predominantly red and white background, so you were absolutely certain to see it.
Two questions.
How do you improve something that’s new?
Who the fuck falls for this shit?
” The phrase “new and improved” is a classic marketing slogan meant to trigger fast, emotional thinking and signal innovation. In reality, it often means an existing product has a minor tweak, a packaging redesign, or simply needs a psychological refresh to capture attention in a crowded market, rather than representing a revolutionary change.Why Marketers Use ItInstant Appeal: It uses positive phrasing to make buyers feel they are getting a superior, updated choice.Re-engagement: It wakes up consumers who have grown blind or indifferent to older product labels.Justifying Changes: It is frequently applied when formulas, sizes, or designs change—sometimes even when package sizes shrink while prices stay the same.”
I don’t have a link, as such, but this is copied from Google question”what does new and improved mean”
I find the end of the explanation very enlightening, especially with regards to confectionery that is marketed as “snack size” .
As opposed to what? Three-course dinner size?
New and improved teabags, FFS.
Ty.Phoo are cunts.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
The first advert on UK TV was for Gibbs toothpaste back in the 1950’s.
Toothpastes have been regularly improved and marketed as new ever since.
So Gibbs, going back about 70 years must have been like brushing your teeth with dog shit.
There is an ad running for an electric toothbrush which assures us that it was ‘inspired by dentists’.
What the fuck does that mean?
5
Advertisers take consumers to be weak minded and easily influenced idiots. Overpriced pillows and mattresses advertised as using ‘NASA technology’. I usually lie down for a sleep, not to visit the far side of the moon.
Fuck off Saatchi and Saatchi and Deimos and Phobos.
3
That’s like Estate Agents advertising a house as ‘architect designed’.
And there was me thinking houses were designed by florists.
4
Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men’s house was.
4
Sloggalog (was the deep voice Bill or Ben?)
1
Marketing. Disingenuous. Catches-out the lesser thinking.
Look at the phrasing in the genuine blurb ‘The no.1 brand recommended by dentists’
It makes folk think it is these unnamed dentists #1 pick of all the electric toothbrushes nationwide, and the majority OF dentists at face value ..but in reality any company can make the broad claim ‘no.1 brand’ based on fuck-all, .. and the claim above only requires 2 dentists on the books, to be legally ‘true’. Just 2.
The even more vague one on dog food tins annoys me(because we live in a society that LETS it be passable).
‘vet approved’.
That only requires one fucking vet when you think about it.
3
This is gold on the matter ..
Mitchell & Webb “Toothbrush manufacturers annual meeting”
Top satire.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NwmwB-biQpc&pp=ygUnTWl0Y2hlbGwgYW5kIHdlYmIgdG9vdGhicnVzaCB0b290aHBhc3Rl
2
Reading the small print at the bottom of the screen (if you can be bothered) is enlightening too.
One yoghurt company advertised that one portion of their stuff contained as much calcium as a glass of milk.
The small print told you that one portion was equal to 2 pots of yoghurt and the glass in question was 50ml.
So the message should have been that one pot equals the same amount of calcium as a teaspoon of milk.
You simply can’t buy a glass that small.
It makes you wonder what size of glass Cadburys are using when a glass and a half of milk goes into one of their bars of chocolate.
2
I’m amazed that Cadburys are still using that ” glass and a half ” hook in their adverts, considering how shite their chocolate tastes these days.
Still, perhaps it’s fermented yak milk.
2
Maybe If it was anal, instead of oral, you would end up with a Colgate Ring of Confidence perhaps?
3
I’ll stick with Irn Bru 1901, even says “old and unimproved” on the can.
2
The Coca Cola Company “improved ” their original brand by replacing the cocaine with caffeine, the cheeky rotten cunts!
2
And OMO was racist because it made whites look briter & whiter.
2
Quite.
Mind you,given the state of many supermarket shoppers the manufacturers could print on their packaging in bright yellow ” carelessly made in an unwashed pakis hovel for your convenience ” and it would fly off the shelves.
The mouth breathing shuffling cunts.
Bog standard Oven.
2
Sorry JP, I have the brilliant image of you in your eternal struggle against opening the box of Typhoo tea bags. My old dear is eighty one so I do sympathise.
5
& trying to avoid cutting his fingers on those “New & Improved edges” no doubt!
4
You’re not kidding, Lord S.
I’m having to use scissors or paring knives to open almost any kind of sealed packaging these days.
It’s a right cunt when wanting a biscuit with your cup of tea becomes practically a surgical procedure.
The amount of almost impenetrable packaging these days, it’s small wonder old people die of malnutrition. It’s not lack of money to buy food, it’s the fucking ring pull tins and plastic shrink-wrap that stops them getting to it!
1
And if you do need to grab some Elastoplasts J.P. then you could well bleed to death before you have even opened them.
2
And knives now come in a strong transparrent plastic cover, that needs another sharp knife to open it.
2
Don’t bother watching adverts and don’t believe anything I’m told. Intuition has got me bye so far.
2
Pubs & restaurants with that all familiar ‘Under New Management’ sign on the outside wall is another good catch, usually without any gramme of improvement.
2
Old and improved…the UK back in the 50’s 👍
2
Not so I’m afraid.
This country was in ruins in the 50s. the great imperial and economic power reduced to bankruptcy, rationed food, a socialist economy, and giving away its empire through choice. Being bossed by its “friend” and “special relationship”, the US. A useless, self serving alcoholic as PM (again). The charter of managed decline implemented for us mugs of the future, who would have to live through it later.
The only thing that was good about the 50s is that we were still a white ethno state. We are scarcely even a country now and the 50s heralded this grim reality.
3
Growing up in the forties was a great relief when the National Health Service came along to help. Pity they’re helping the wrong these days.
0
I’m getting my medication delivered today from Boots and I got a phone call earlier asking if I didn’t mind what flavours my Fortisip drinks came in. I replied with, I didn’t mind if they were ladies urine, so long as they came. There was a shriek of laughter and she told me they were on there way.
2
Just wait till the archive Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited back catalogue is remastered and available on Blu-Ray – a chance to see every pimple on the backside of a the young Emily Thornberry, back in 1970, as she drops the lot in a performance at the Steaming Pussycat Club, in sepia a very young Yvette Cooper losing her gym slip (and everything else) during a nudie romp. That really will be new and improved.
4
I would loose the horn due to counting the number of hairs on their fannies.
1
Old Emmy was very fastidious, Sammy. She used to get her makeup girl, Chris Bryant, to shave her minge and butt crack, knowing that as the finale to her act she used to unhitch her G string , throw it into the audience and run back in stage naked. The good old days. It all started to go wrong when she started doing a lesbian act with Harriet Harman………
1
During the seventies London strip clubs, some of the lasses would swing out to the audience and open their legs at the precise moment and I would stretch out my hand to cop a feel.
Other clubs would have stage extensions where the strippers walked straight up to you and hands would be everywhere. Remember one bending down to me stroking my hair and I gave her a kiss on the tits. You naughty boy she grinned.
0
I love the tricky and meaningless marketing boast ‘up to 99 per cent of household germs’. So that could be fucking 1 percent, cunts. ‘Closing Down’ sales round our way go on for decades. They also offer savings of ‘up to 50 percent off’!
4
Mrs Starmer always used to use that lavatory cleanser that killed 99% of all known germs. The poor old cow soon realised, however, that there were a few unknown germs in her bog when Kweer stuck his fabby folds of flesh on his chubby buttocks when he had been “entertaining” Ukrainian rent boys and hsi dear friends Vladimir and Emmanuel.
0
Remember Reginald Perrin’s Grot Shop?Summer Sale – 50% on!
2
I always wanted one of his dentists paintings, and to sample some of Tom’s brussel sprout wine.
0
I saw a sign once advertiding a ‘huge bicycle sale’ but they were only selling regular sized bicycles, it turned out.
0
You really don’t want to be drinking tea using a Tea Bag…!
BBC News – Microplastics: Premium teabags leak billions of particles – study – BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-49845940?app-referrer=deep-link
3
I’ve always known I’m drinking dust in my teabags. If I drink loose tea I’ll be getting whatever is dangerous much sooner.
1
True story. Somebody once told the American author Robert Benchley that tea was a slow poison. “That’s all right”, he said – “I am in no hurry”
0
I go for the odd tin or box of that on supermarket shelves of their own brand which are always cheaper than a famous name. I’ve no need to tell you they are the same thing with the labels changed.
1
New and Improved is old hat, I only buy something if it has been……
Drum roll……
Reimagined.
1
Good nom this JP👍
Advertising preys on the innocent and gullible.
most adults know its bollocking but kids dont.
Remember those adverts in comics back in the 70s?
learn karate in a day
seamonkeys
etc
I was a sucker for them.
begged my dad who wouldn’t have any of it.
One that caught my imagination was a remote control 7ft ghost that did you’re bidding!
when it arrived it was a balloon, plastic sheet and a piece of string.
1
https://share.google/rRs9lACGOFl0IYyKX
this is it.
They also advertised pet monkeys.
and you DID get a monkey through the post.
some bloke said he ordered one as a kid and it mauled him upon release 🤣
Nowadays we know its cruel to post monkeys.
they come by dinghy instead.
1
“A law from the European Union called the Single-Use Plastics Directive forced drink companies to use these attached, or “tethered,” caps starting in July 2024..”
Thank fuck for that,it’s made opening bottles and drinking out of them so much better.
The meddling penpushing cunts.
3
Typical of the small meddling minds of the motherfuckers who lick Von Leyen’s raddled arsehole. To think the Labour quares and Lord Heseltine (same difference) would like us back in their circus.
0
It is a pain in the arse. I ended up spilling water all over my crotch when driving recently because the stupid cap was so awkward to remove.
Similar to paper straws instead of plastic ones. A few months ago I was trying to enjoy a milkshake on a long journey and the straw had turned to mush. Had to remove it and the lid, then ended up pouring the drink all over my face on the M6.
So what has the benefit been exactly? Annoyance and inconvenience to everybody, along with near motorway pile ups. Supposedly the environment and wildlife will be better off. However, the basic problem is littering. We have laws to enforce against that already and I would sentence the people who do it to a punch in the face.
Instead, the useless managerial class, who have nothing better to do, introduce these stupid innovations instead. Same applies with weed killers that don’t work any more because their contents are too weak, or toilets that can’t flush a turd because “saving water”.
“New and improved” just means: waste of time, waste of money, fucking rubbish.
0
I don’t see advertising in general. Don’t watch TV, don’t read newspapers, don’t listen to the radio. Instead of YouTube, I use a third party version that removes the ads.
I reject products if their branding annoys me. I boycott companies that have used rainbow branding, promoted “diversity”, or go on about Fairtrade. Virtue signalling is a no-no.
Until they introduce new, improved advertising that is without homosexuals, nig nogs, strong empowered wimminz, iritatingly loud pop music, horrible expressions such as “poonami”, and bright rainbow colours… I’ll continue as I am.
1
Besides the YT ads in this thing, it is a documentary everyone should see.
Everyone. Should be shown on national T.V.
Asia’s biggest trash mountain – with hundreds of scavengers all over it as their ‘job’ ..picking out every single scrap of rubber and plastic … to BURN in the shanty tofu-factories below, 24/7/365 … oh! and whatever shit they can eat as well. From a Indonesian dump. Yum!
Honestly, besides those too many interrupting fucking ads (oh the irony given this nom) .. one of the most eye opening documentaries I ever watched.
The impunity of ALL the stupid shit such as bottle-cap tethering, worldwide .. brought home in one 30 minute video.
And that’s just ONE shithole megadump….
AND of course these fucking parasites picking through disgusting shit in a disease ridden travesty .. complain like fuck and declare they only do it because they (of course)still breed like fucking flies and so do it for their (multiple) offspring whom they have subjected to similar lives by creating them.
Worth the 30 mins.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8fO-MoCJyLU&pp=ygUqVHJhc2ggbW9pbnRhaW4gcGxhc3RpYyBwaWNrZXJzIGRvY3VtZW50YXJ5
1
I stick by my guns. I’ll shoot any annoying cunt even with gunpowder.
0
Over the hot summer and having to have all the windows open, my house looks like a giant Aussies hat, with old fashioned flypaper hanging from it. No need to choke on the spray just sit there watching the papers fill up.
0
New Labour……
0