The UK Government Home Office [7]

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A yes minister cunting for the completely useless, overpaid cunts who run the home office.

Where do we start, well let’s go with legal immigration, why the fuck do Ministers seem to be surprised when the net migration figures are published. ‘It’s too high, we have to bring it down’, surely to god you would expect they would have a daily, weekly, monthly handle on the number of visas being issued.

At least part of the answer comes to light in the second part of this cunting, two senior officials from the home office were asked a simple question when appearing before the home and security committee.

‘How many, leaving aside criminals and Albanians, how many who have arrived illegally in the last three years who haven’t been granted asylum have been deported to a third country or their home country’

Completely fucking Blank!

I wouldn’t have these cunts cleaning toilets, they would probably fuck that up as well.

Twatter Link.

Nominated by : Sick of it

113 thoughts on “The UK Government Home Office [7]”

  1. Ah, new living room rugs, delivered on time, and not by some senile old goat who should have his licence cancelled.

    Sorry, OT, but I’m trying to get a bit more like Christmas here. The Lass is a bit upset that no one seems to have a Christmas tree.

    I don’t like to upset the Lass, she’s like a junior black belt.

    • Evening JP…I understand that your new rug is of significantly higher qualty than MNC’s one, which is rather threadbare, despite only being 4 months old.

      • Evening Thomas.

        No, the previous rug was for my new command center for world domination.
        Harold finally cracked on, I think the white furry cat gave it away.
        These rugs are for the living room, to go with the new sofas, I’m updating the look, and getting rid of tired and shabby.
        Fuck knows, I’ve not much to spend it on, but I’ll be buggered if Elder and Younger get their paws on it.

      • Are you delirious?
        Are you implying that MNC’s artisan rug is of inferior quality than mine from, “gulps” Kukoon?
        Oh, my days!

      • He maintains its artisan, but he actually bought it off eBay and the return address was a mosque in Bradford.

      • That’s a blatant fuckin lie Cuntengine and a slur that will see you in court if you persist.

        Admin@
        Please strike Thomas’s disgusting defamatory post from the record.

        I’ve never been so insulted.
        Well, at home maybe.
        Work too.

        But you should be ashamed upsetting me so close to baby Jesus’s birthday.

      • Ho ho, can you imagine if there was a “legitimate” ISAC court for people offended by pisstaking?!
        They’d be busier than Katie Price’s cavernous fanny when Harvey is back from special school.

      • Evening Thomas 👍

        Yeah!
        When I first came on ISAC there was a thing where Miles Plastic upset another Cunter,
        The guy was fuckin raving!
        Posting angrily all through the night 😁

        I thought it was odd but highly amusing!!

        You spending Christmas with your lads Thomas?
        I loved it when my kids were little at Christmas 🌲
        How excited they were,
        Now they’re a bit boring 🙂

      • Yep, both my boys are round Christmas Day, thanks for asking. Are yours coming to see you too?
        I suppose we’d have to wait for grandchildren now before we’ll enjoy the look of gleaming wonder on a young child’s face on Christmas Day now.
        At least my chinkypox will be gone in time to go and sing carols at my local church in my best Fred West/Pam Ayres voice.
        I bloody love Christmas!

      • Yeah they’ll be here.
        I should already be a grandad at 53yr Thomas.

        Dunno if my kids are Jaffa’s?

        I was a dad at 24yr.

        Anyway, enjoy!
        Merry Christmas to you and your family Thomas!

        🌲☃️

      • I was waiting for the others to comment JP, but either they couldn’t be bothered or just didn’t want to give you the satisfaction.

        So Merry Christmas.

        Btw I’m getting a little sick of people using the term festive break. Is everyone concerned it’s upsetting anyone who isn’t a Christian? I mean it’s probably a pagan thing anyway originally.

        I don’t see anyone doing the same with Easter?
        We don’t say happy spring season or happy fertility season do we?

        I know that sounds like some quasi-intellectual musings like a bargain bin version of Miles of Concrete.

      • Evening Harold 👍

        Where do you live that people say ‘festive break’?!

        Nobody has ever said that to me, it doesn’t even make sense,
        Dead vague.

        Next time tell them to go fuck themselves.

        It’s not hard to wish someone a Merry Christmas 🌲

      • You are a Prince among mench, Harold.

        You’re observational powers are superhuman!

        I appreciate you, thank you.

      • Evening MNC

        It comes in on the corporate emails at work and certain Senior Managers say it. They also say it on the radio.

        Anyway, enough of that.
        A song about Mr Cunt Engine.

      • Hey up TtCE

        Perhaps you should try a dating show a bit like Rodney Alcala did.

        If it ever turns out that you really are a copycat Peter Sutcliffe with a West Country brogue I’ll feel like we’ve encouraged you .
        That’s a bit unsettling for me.

      • The Bumpkin Dating Show?
        I might end up getting paired with Fred and Rose West’s only surviving daughter.
        At least it’d be a fair assumption that she’d not be overly shocked by my sexual requests…
        I’d tell her: “whatever filth I suggest, my dear, will still be more wholesome than being bummed by your father whilst your mother watches, sat on a sofa that also holds the dessicated corpse of your sister.”
        Maybe I should re-write “A Christmas Carol”, where Rose West is visited by the spirits of her victims and encouraged to change her evil ways through the power of prison lesbianism?

    • I’d like a massive jute rug and a distressed Persian look one on top – that’s rug layering.

      Frightened one of the dogs will pee on them.

      • Well, Cuntologist, my chu has decided that shitting on the rug is his art form, and he persues it diligently.

        Short of shooting the little twat, I’m not sure where to go from here, but puppy pads are on the shopping list.

      • Wonder why little dogs do that?

        Big dogs don’t seem to?

        My dog won’t even go in the garden unless desperate,
        The easiest dog to house train I’ve ever had!

      • He’s just a cunt, Mis.

        He does it to annoy, and because he knows it teases..

        One of these days I’ll punt him through the window.

      • Hehehe 😄

        There’s a little dog I see when walking the dog in the morning,
        It goes fuckin nuts yapping and barking.

        The daft little cunt doesn’t realise he’s basically the same build as a guinea pig,
        Must think he’s a lion or something.

        My dog just ignores it.

  2. Anyway, back to my illegals sueing the UK for searching them, why wouldn’t we?

    Seizing their iPhone, fuck me, I can’t afford one, so how come they can?

    What the fuck did they think would happen, when they arrived here?

    • The usual. Get given a house, money, a harem of 12 year old white girls and a form to sign entitling their 49 relatives to be here within a week. Plus immunity from any crime they care to commit.

    • The cunts can’t sue anyone if they’ve gone in the new Home Office by Unkle Terry Christmas Oven.

      Turn them to ash whilst enjoying a large glass of scotch.

      Good health and Fuck them all.

  3. Off topic – I’m not usually bah humbug sort of person but next door put up their lights and it’s like the Griswold’s house.

    Why are they like this?

    • I’ll have the last laugh when they get their leccy bill in January.

      Happy New Year ya filthy animals!

    • Because it’s Christmas.

      Give the yanks that, they do get into the Christmas spirit!
      The Germans too.

      I like it when people get the lights up.
      Mine are exquisite.
      As you can imagine.

      Tasteful like.

      So is the life size whicker stag that’s covered in lights.

      I like to show homeless people photos of it.
      And a copy of the menu for Christmas day.

      Don’t ask what their plans for Christmas are.

      Probably go for a walk or something?😄

    • Those people drive the value of the other properties down.

      Nothing says ‘council scum’ like a house resembling the Eagle Nebula through an optical migraine.

  4. I’m sort of lucky that my neighbours are quite restrained, but Younger showed me a phone video clip of a house in their neighbourhood, and it was OMFG!

    Visible from Mars.

    • JP @

      Do you go to one of your daughter’s for Christmas?
      Or do you have them round yours?

      We have Mrs Miserables family on Christmas Day.
      Mine Boxing Day.

      • Well, as the Lass’s Mum and Dad have separated, she’s his one year, and hers the next.

        This year, she’s Mum’s, normally I’d go to theirs, but as their kitchen is ripped out, ready for a new one, they’re coming to me, as well as Younger and Hubby.

        Hence, new sofas/carpets. Like it to be nice, comfy and fresh.

        My first all family Christmas dinner for 10 years. Can’t hardly wait!

      • Sounds nice JP and probably less stress free than Cunt Engines. He’ll have to air the house a good few day before to get rid of that ‘corpse smell’ and buy and study padlock for the basement door.

      • You doing over Christmas LL?
        When do you finish work?

        Being self employed we have the luxury of choosing eh?

        Im working tomorrow then fuck it,
        Finished for Christmas.

  5. As if we didn’t already know this but my brother is a court reporter and he said if you look at all the names each day, he said approx 95% are those he would deem to be foreign .

    It’s a fucking crying bitter shame what has been done to this county

    I rewatched Clarkson’s doc of the raid on St Nazaire and one of the commandos who knew he probably wouldn’t return said in a letter to his father , I don’t mind laying down my inconsequential life but just hope that future generations can learn from it and even appreciate it .

    Makes you want to fucking cry it’s so sad .

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