Peter Schmeichel MBE

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What’s wrong with Schmeichel I hear you ask? Won everything there was to win in football (except the World Cup but won the European championship with Denmark for fucks sake! Fucking Denmark!)

Earned multi millions, had a dog named after him in Corrie and got an MBE for “services to football.” You’d think he’d be happy wouldn’t you?

No… not this cunt. Heard him on the radio the other day complaining about the “pressure” he was under and crying about his mental elf. Oh yeah, Mr multi millionaire, excuse me while I weep about your mental elf you complete fucking fake.

Apparently Peter is on the corporate after dinner speech circuit ….. crying to other rich cunts about his terrible rich lifestyle and his mental elf problems.

Yeah, fuck off wanker…..do you think we were born yesterday?

Nominated by : Freddie the Frog

40 thoughts on “Peter Schmeichel MBE”

  1. In all fairness to him, once you have experienced the Danish tax system you’ll understand him having problems with the ‘elf.

  3. I can understand him having to appear in public with his “Rudolph” being so red.

    • I’ve met Peter shmeichel
      AND Ive called him a Cunt to his face.😁
      No joke.

      Me an the missus were walking in the woods at Alderley Edge with our last dog,
      A elderly little staffie that was deaf.

      Two chocolate labs came flying out of the trees and started knocking shit out of our dog.
      I chased them off,
      Booted ones arse,
      Then the owner appears in the treeline.

      MNC “get your fuckin dogs on a lead you stupid fuckin cunt!!!”

      PS” I’m sorry, I’m sorry,
      They’re just excited ”

      Sounded foreign?
      As he got nearer he was a right big cunt!
      Athletic looking too!
      He apologised again and was on his way.

      Seemed ok
      But his dogs were cunts.
      Did that with the akita he’d be carrying them home in binbags.

      • Morning MNC…you sure that wasn’t Dolph Lundgren?
        I believe Alderley Edge is a popular dogging spot…

      • Morning Thomas!

        The village is full of football wives an telly scum,
        But above in the woods it’s full of caves and tunnels,
        Famous back in the 60s an 70s for witchcraft rituals,
        Through ” king of the witches” Alex Sanders using the woods for sexy magic
        And through the book ‘ the weird stone of Brisingamen” by Alan Garner.

        As teenagers we’d camp out in the caves,
        Tripping and drinking listening to Led Zep👍

    • A mate of mine accidenatlly stood on Schmichel’s foot in a Manchester ckub. But the big pillock refused to accept my mate’s apology, ‘Schmikes’ made a right song and dance about it.

      A cunt.

  5. A white footballer with mental elf issues?
    Makes a change I guess.
    I thought it was the preserve of dark key and Caramac coloured players after years of racism, being told what to do by nasty managers and not being given nuff respect.
    Expect St Marcus of Rashford to be having one of his episodes some time soon now he’s playing shit again.

    • Ah, man of the people, champion of the poor, Rashford?

      The same Rashford who got every cunt, even poor cunts, to pay for free school meals when schools are closed, while he drives (and crashes) his 500k Rolls Royce?

      How many free dinners would that pay for?

      Absolute wanker.

  6. He’s the sort of twat who would say if he could do it all again he wouldn’t be a footballer

    I think he’s combined a career as both a footballer and a Cunt

  7. There’s not much further I can go on this one, about a billionaire whose nerves are shot to pieces. I’m only up early waiting for work being done on the house and he’s got worries. Probably still having nightmares screaming at his defence.

  8. He was charging £4500 a table last year. They should help with his mental health.

  9. When it comes to cuntish footballers he is way down on the list..

    Smug spunk bubble Lineker being top of that long list..

  11. I thought he was an outstanding goalie.

    Unfortunately he has been affected by the Modern Disease of “Opening up about my mental health as I’ve got a book out or I’m scared nobody remembers who I am”.

    A cunts trick all right but they are all aboard the gravy train.

    Which ends abruptly in Birmingham.

  12. Great goalie in his prime, but a total bellend.

    Met him in person, and he’s one of the most miserable and obnoxious cunts in the history of football, Treats fans like crap, even kids.

    He also complained aabout the rigours of the Premier League being ‘too much’ for him. So, what doess he do? He only quits, but then returns to it and to Manchester City, I can still see him celebrating a United defeat at Maine Road. Fucking cartwheeling cunt. But now he’s retired and wants a bit of that TV punditry gravy train, he’s suddenly a red again. And it’s ‘we’ this and ‘we’ that where United are concerned. Welll, he can piss off.

    • Didn’t realise he was such a nasty piece of work. Did well winning the Portuguese title in his only season with Sporting. After that it was all downhill. Shouldn’t have come back to the Premiership, especially for the enemy. Now he’s getting praised from short memory fans wishing we had his likes again, after performances the recent baboon putting on, doing his best trying to dodge the ball.

      • Still, I’d rather have 60 year old Schmichel in the United goal than that cunt Onanaman.

  14. Nah, it’s liver-wasting George Best for me. might have been a great fiootbsller but to be given a donor liver and drink it to destruction shows what a pathetic cunt he was as a person.

  16. I heard he also sues people if they use footage of him without asking or summat.

    Great goalie though. Seems a bit of a miserable cunt. Not a good pundit either. Always agreeing with and kissing the arse of whatever split arse is on, says stuff a bit like “Like Karen says, he’s a good finisher…”. “Well Emma is spot on..”

    I’m still waiting for the first male pundit to lose it and say “Oh just shut the fuck up. What would you know? Two sugars.”

    Mind, the Cricket World Cup has just started, so I can now look forward to some fat lezza I’ve never heard of telling Joe Root, Virat Kohli or Steve Smith how to handle 95mph chin music from the likes of Lockie Ferguson and Mark Wood.

    • The cricket one has clearly come directly from briefings before commentators went on air.

      Initially, you’d hear Mark Butcher saying ‘Good point, Lydia’ and ‘I agree, Lydia’ every fucking sentence, but it’s marginally more subtle now. If his tongue had been any further up her arse, you could have seen it waggling when she opened her mouth.

      The whole ‘split arse as expert on men’s sport’ thing is clearly a crock. They put captions up in the HT studio debates on the rugby World Cup saying things like ‘Maggie Alphonsi, 100 caps for England’ but not once has she ever had to stop someone like Jonah Lomu at full chat, so she can’t possibly comment from experience.

      IT’S NOT THE SAME.

      Patting away a 65mph bowler doesn’t qualify you to comment on playing Mark Wood at 95mph (I was at Headingley to see *that* over in the Ashes and it was different planet to women’s cricket, which I’ve also watched.)

      Playing for “OUR LIONESSES” is about the equivalent of representing a Sunday league kickaround men’s team and certainly doesn’t make you any more of an expert than a random bloke with some knowledge of footbal theory.

      But BBC, Sly Sports and TNT or whatever BT are called now all put up women as experts on the men’s game, because it’s diverse, innit? It’s what the mute button’s for, more like.

      Anyway, little-known fact, Peter Schmeichel has a brother called Michael…

    • What about my mental health? My home insurance premium has gone up by fifty per cent and I had to take my cat to the vet’s this week. He doesn’t know the meaning of the word stress.

      • Taking a cat to the vet can be very stressful. They fucking hate it and make sure every cunt knows about it and all. They also don’t forgive you for days for taking them, so you have my sympathy.

      • Our cat went on hunger strike whilst at the vets. We were told you can take her home, if she does not eat within 24 hours bring her back. When SWWBO arrived home the wife had to feed her. Two days of Coventry, lovely.

      • Aye the old feline hunger strike protest. Add hiding under the bed for two days. Sounds about right.

  18. My favourite schmeichal memory is of Paulo Wanchope beating utd’s entire back 4 and slotting the ball under him at the Stretford end for 2-0 in 1997. Then Sir Fergs Wenger rant after the game 🤣

  19. Well known that Schmichel and Keane hated each other.
    Once they actually had a fight.
    Battle of the Cunts.

    • Keane was a scumbag from birth but he never gave up.
      The only time I saw him back off and not if quite wanting too was the time himself an Vierra had each others throat.
      If it came to it, Vierra would have busted his head. He he hah ha and he knows it.

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