Katie Price (16)

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(Katie “Jordan” Price, back in the day – Day Admin)

Katey Price is a deluded cunt, can you think of absolutely anyone who could in the name of sanity would make a worse life coach than this crazy spunk trumpet.

Firstly i think anyone who needs the advise of a life coach already has problems, so i cant think of anyone who could possible help fuck up whats left of your pitiful, fucked up life than fucking Katy Price the paragon of good life choices, if you thought things were bad before just ask Katey and before you know it, your going to remember your old fucked up life as the good times before you got involved with this loon, while hiding from the rain in a cardboard box.

She is going to enrol on a course for £9.99 a month and then be in a position to advise people on improving their lives.

Here’s a list of life improvements Katey can help you with.

Dealing with multiple kids,
Dealing with multiple fathers [absent or present, past or future]
D,N,A testing,to get child support
Divorce,1-5
Bankruptcy whilst keeping assets,
Plastic surgery abroad and in Uk at tax payers expense,
How to drive while under the influence ,
How to crash while under the influence,
Dealing with the courts, judges and the police,
How to fund millions of pounds worth of dodgy plastic surgery,
How to motivate yourself for more plastic surgery,
Dealing with latest wonky comedy tits,
Taste, house and car decoration.
This series is available as a 200 piece dvd box set £9.500+vat payable in 2 easy instalments, satisfaction is guaranteed or you can go fuck yourself in the knowledge you are funding her next boob,lip,snatch job.
Order today from www.rottencrotch.ru.org

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

59 thoughts on “Katie Price (16)”

  1. She also advises on the right feminine deodorant to use when your clam smells like a dog’s blocked anal glands.

  2. Looking at this used up price of haddock triggers the uncanny valley effect in me. Sort of resembling a human and tries to behave like one then you see that 99% of it is melted plastic and it opens its legs and the whoff of fish takes you to innsmouth.

    • Their advice is don’t pay any..

      Still her advice on how to handle Harvey would put you in good stead for a career at the monkey house London zoo.

  6. You forgot to include the advice she could give you on plastic teeth, tramp stamps and giving your kids stupid cunt names.

  7. She was fit as fuck when she first turned up on page 3. Sad she turned into such a hideous plastic faced freak.

  8. Fair enough I wouldn’t invite her to one of my exclusive dinner-parties but I must admit that I have a sneaking respect for her….doesn’t matter whatever (usually self-inflicted) disaster befalls her,she bounces back and continues on her merry way.

    Truly the unflushable turd.

      • I’ve been fingering Kelly Reilly in the old milking-parlour this morning….Gemma is on the blob…lazy old Tart.

  9. I actually thought the list of things she could help people with was a genuine list until I got to ‘helping driving whist under the influence’. Comedy gold.
    I’d like to add ‘how to make yourself look even more ridiculous by replacing your eyebrows using a two inch marker pen’.

  10. She is a bit like Madonna in that she seems to reinvent herself every couple of years by slapping on an extra layer of plastic and ever-more Botex in order to stay within the glare of media attention.

    I don’t think she’s just any old dumb blonde bimbo. She knows full well that a lot of people think she’s a trollop/whore/whatever. But to her its water off a duck’s back because to her way of thinking it’s not so much her that is desperate for attention (she is!) but more that the media and the people that follow the media that are the bigger mugs for keeping her in the spotlight.

    Celebs crave two things – money and media attention. They can’t have one without the other. And just like with Madonna and a shedload of other desperate celebs they will resort to anything (even drunk driving, wild parties, getting arrested etc) in order to grab the attention and keep the money rolling in.

    Therefore, you have to give her some grudging respect for being the vapid but calculating tart that she really is.

  11. She lets nowt get in her way.

    Morals, driving bans, loyalty, other people’s disapproval,

    She doesn’t give a fuck.

    She’s out to earn a few quid.
    And she does.

    While I find her disgustingly shallow,
    I admire her hardfaced determination.

    (In other words, you’d like to give her some of your “hard” determination! – Day Admin)

    • Admin@

      There’s something about a scrubber isn’t there?

      As soon as I’d drained my spuds up her I’d be riddled with disgust !

      I’d piss on her and call her a whore.
      ❤️

      (You’re just an old romantic at heart – Day Admin)

  12. Sorry, this is off topic but a question for Admin.
    I’m dying to have a pop at equine Jacinda. Will she be turning up soon?

    (“have a pop at Jacinda” – not a pleasant thought this side of breakfast! However, sit tight, she’s in the paddock as we speak – Day Admin)

  13. Any late payers will have Harvey to deal with as he turns up on their doorstep to dry hump them into submission.

  14. This sounds like a free advert to me. Why mention the name of the company and how much it costs? No doubt they have bunged the old slapper a big wedge for the priceless (see what I did there?) publicity. She’ll splash out on a new car and drive it into a bus stop or something. Dozy cow.

  15. Got to admire her for soldering on. She’s not as thick as she looks and sounds. Undoubtedly a slapper though – her spunk trumpet is bigger than the one flaunted by that Brexit megaphone idiot.

  16. In life one should always try to be the best that they can be.

    If you are a road sweeper, be the best road sweeper that you can.

    If you are the Prime Minister, aim to be the best ever.

    Katie Price buys into this philosophy.

    She is a trollop.

    A trollop that other trollops aspire to.

    She has taken the art of trolloping to new and exciting levels.

    A true trollop’s trollop.

  18. I’d sooner get parental advice from father of the year Josef Fritzl than this beat up old tuna minge cunt.

  19. This made me giggle – particularly the headline, part of which read:

    “…telling fans her ‘ups and downs’ have left her wanting to help others…”

    Is she referring to the number of cocks she has bounced up and down on, or something else?

    Perhaps she is so sexually experienced she wants more cock, this headline leaves a lot open to the imagination…

    That said, he flange is probably like the Channel Tunnel!

  20. Wood chipper feet first.Switch off and leave it for ten minutes and start it up again.Dirty spunk trumpet 🎺.

  22. I believe our money was changed into plastic from an idea this trollop does each morning. To get out her wrinkles, she hovers over flames and that’s how you straighten out your fivers, tens and twenties. Ever so briefly mind.

  24. I’ve got a dvd of katie somewhere coaching a penis into action, or it could have been switching a black ribbed knobbler on….😬

  25. Don’t worry Katie-it’s only “single-use-plastic” that is being phased out.
    Your tits are quite safe😉

  26. Had more dickends than weekends, probably got a muff like a cart horse collar wouldn’t be suprised if some of her surgery has been to retread her wore out old box bet all the wire and canvas was poking through her draws.

  27. When imagining a romp with this skank, I think of something Ozzy Osborne once said:
    “It would be like throwing a cocktail weenie down into the Grand Canyon.”

  28. I can say without fear of contraception that I have NEVER thrashed one out while looking at that fucking skanky trollop!! Anyone who says I have, is a lying cunt!

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