Buy A House On Benefits

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The Government’s BUY A HOUSE ON BENEFITS scheme.

Oh, fuck me, Johnson’s latest nonsensical wheeze to win back the nation’s confidence (I had none to win back) is to make it possible for cunts on benefits to buy the house they are currently renting (thanks to the taxpayer) by converting said rent money into mortgage payments instead.

Eh? Shurely shome mishtake?

To start with, where are these cunts claiming housing benefit going to find enough cash to put down a deposit, given that the maximum they are allowed to have in savings is £16,000? That’s barely enough to put down on a dog kennel, let alone a fucking house. I feel another subprime mortgage crisis coming on…

News Link.

I despair.

Nominated by: Minge Juice Bottler

61 thoughts on “Buy A House On Benefits”

  1. This government is just one massive, epic clusterfuck.

    It’s taking the country down the shitter with it.

    • GTW@ 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
      It is now our job, as the British people, to stop this madness.
      I am up for the fight.

    • You can see the fear and desperation on BloJo’s face, so he counters by coming up with ludicrous ideas that haven’t remotely been thought through.
      But the tories WILL win the next election, because (believe me, it’s bloody tough to call), they are the least bad. Reports from Wakefield (by-election imminent) see Rear Stormer as piss weak.

      • HBH@ – If I have anything to do with it there will be 650 “politicians” unemployed at the next Election.
        They can arrest me, kick me about, gaslight, harass and intimidate me as much as they want but it just makes me even more determined to carry on.
        Tory? Labour? Lib Dumb?
        NO!
        A coalition of apolitical right wing independents, and the chance to wear my old Hugo Boss outfit again! 😀👍

      • I hope you might be right, Mr. Fox; after all, Marine picked up 81 seats in France. Perhaps the tide is at last turning. At least Macron got a kick in the teeth.

  2. Clinton did the same thing in the States in the 90s . It collapsed the world economy with packaged up traded shit in 2008. These stupid cunts never learn.

  3. The way things are going the cunts will start taking privately owned homes and giving them to Africunts and the like.

    This latest “policy” is communism and undermines the principle of self reliance and hard work.

    Clueless weak twats.

  4. I don’t understand how this could realistically work?
    Another ill conceived idea.

    He’s getting flack now for when he tried to get his beaver faced missus made cheif of staff and tried to silence the Times newspaper about it.

    I see another emergency PR visit to Ukraine on the horizon….

    • If he’s going to pull that trick every time he fucks up, he may as well buy a property over there. Or rent one, and then claim he owns it.

    • Mnc@ – Jellyfish is going to have to fabricate one hell of a winter crisis to deflect the attention of the mouth breathers – “Asteroid strike”, anyone?
      This is like the last days of Rome – “Emperor” Sneero fiddles (everyone he can get his grubby fat paws on) as Carrigula runs the Country. (Into the fucking floor – I do not recall electing this barking mad commie bitch).
      We need rid – OF THEM ALL – at the next General Election, because we are right back in 1938 and Slime Minister Lameberlain is taking us straight to hell as the people sleep.
      NINJA Mortgages (No Income, No Job or Assets) caused the last credit crunch, and why the hell would anyone break their back for 60 hours a week for 25 years when they can sit on their arse and let Joe taxpayer fund their mortgage?
      And I wonder who the biggest (and darkest and rapiest) benefactors will be?
      Someone should pull this fucking disaster aside and tell him that socialism only ever works on paper.
      Although given the shocking state of his health and the strong possibility he is an alcoholic I get the feeling jellyfish will be getting a visit from someone much more scary then Sir Graham Brady, Chairman of The Arrogant Privilege Committee pretty soon.
      “Do the poor like toffees Carrie? Shall we post them some toffees? Will that get them back on side Carrie?”..

      • We are heading towards a recession soon as Doris is not interested at all.Bin him off.

    • Mnc@ – One thing to always remember about jellyfish – he says anything he wants and then just lies when challenged – classic psychopathic behaviour.
      I believe Johnson is the worst “Prime Minister” the UK has ever had, and this “Parliament” is the worst the UK has ever had.
      If the fat clown wants riots in the streets he is going the right way.
      I would normally send jellyfish my monthly email outlining what a POS he is, but The Offices of The Prime Minister have very kindly blocked me – I see “your kind” of “democracy” all over North Korea Boris, but I am not done with you by a fucking Mile.

  5. Fuck me….that Magic Money Tree is holding up well,isn’t it ?…. I wait for the day that Johnson addresses the nation on telly…after a lot of harummpphhing,obscure Greek quotes and waving his cock at Naga Munchetty…he’ll pull of his latex face-mask to reveal a triumphant Jeremy Corbyn bellowing ” Whhoooaaaa, President Corbyn’s got yer..ye Cunts”.

  6. And people thought Corbin was dangerous. The Conservative Communist Party of Great Britain, led by comrade Boris, is a clueless, reactionary shit show. I can’t think of one single proactive decision that has been made by this lot.
    Turning rent money into mortgage money? He’ll be turning water into wine next. I wonder if he could turn my energy bill payments into finance repayments for a car I fancy? He might be able to bribe my vote as well.
    Clueless commie twat.

    • P.S. For a while now, I’ve been hearing a constant rotational whizzing sound, which I thought was my electricity meter. Turns out it’s Thatcher spinning in her grave.

  7. This sounds like the kind of idea Carrie Antoinette whispered in his ear after a particularly vigorous Saturday night shag. He’s a fucking idiot. There is no hope.

  8. This has to be the biggest mental idea in a very long line of mental ideas from the contemptuous shower of cunts we call a government. That’s right, shit-for-brains, with a colossal national debt why don’t we reward the lazy work shy with free houses. It just confirms that Johnson is Corbyn in a fat suit and a comedy wig.

  9. A Labour government just got closer.
    It’s going to be a very bumpy ride.
    There may be trouble ahead.
    Good morning.

    • We’ve already got blue labour in power, I don’t think red labour would be any different.
      No better no worse, just more sambos on the front bench.

      • Although Duhvid Blambo is being investigated, it seems.
        Will he survive?
        Of course he will, the great sack of buffalo piss and wind.

    • Will we notice the difference?
      Apart from more Johnny Foreigners and rainbow flags…

  10. Where do The cunts who come up with these barmpot ideas come from , which uni courses do they enroll on ?

    Let’s piss off the indigenous population course…..

    Coming to a university near you….💩

  11. Therefore, if you’ve never worked, never achieved anything at school, spent a lifetime on benefits and quite possibly have a criminal record you could be in line to buy your own house with massive assistance from the Taxpayer!

    And because they’re on a low income/benefits they’ll also get further support during the cost-of-living crisis, the energy crisis and the net-zero crisis.

    Moreover if their “mortgage” repayments is tied to their benefit payments then any increase in interest rates will probably mean an increase in benefit payments.

    On top of all that if you’re a “migrant” via the dinghy express you can expect to find decent rented accommodation (paid for by the TP), benefits, entitlements to healthcare, education etc and priority treatment because they’re poor downtrodden refugees

    Meanwhile the good old law-abiding, hard-working, conscientous TP is having to work harder (sometimes having to do 2 or 3 jobs) only to find he is being taxed, taxed and taxed again. And because that person earns more than a particular threshold he won’t be entitled to any of those financial support schemes to help them through the cost of living crisis, energy crisis or the net-zero crisis.

    And to cap it all these very same people are now classed as part of the problem because they are white and therefore privileged. And therefore must be demonised for what they are!

    This country really is going down the shithole at warp speed 9

  12. I reckon most on benefits use them for cider and ciggies

    Can’t see em giving up their essentials just for some bricks 🧱

    • I was out of work when the dole was double during lockdown, $550 a week and I was drinking a litre of gin a day every day. Happy times.

  13. Can’t agree more – I’ve worked hard, with my wife over the last 20 years to slowly and in an considered, sensible fashion to climb the slippery slope of home ownership.

    It’s not been easy and sacrifices have been made, including some years of financial strain (and with kids) but we’re still in that rat race.

    Now it seems, some cunt that’s hidden his shekels in ali babba’s cave can now easily buy a house at slapped down prices, while the wife opens her legs again to have another unwanted state fed child.

    • There are millions more like you Mr Maximus, myself included but the level of apathy and silence when the silly fat cunt spouts shit like this is the annoying thing.
      I think our country has passed the point of no return, I hope the jellyfish gets something terminal and has to join the nhs waiting list.
      He’s never been conservative.

  14. They already get benefit cars. Usually SUVs.’ Ooh doctor, I have a bad back.’ So why not houses. And second homes.
    It’s only fair.

  15. About 18 years ago I was a mortgage adviser, predominantly selling sub-prime mortgages. Many of my clients bought on the right to buy scheme, many did not work. There were lots of companies out there at the time who would gladly provide a mortgage for benefit claimants, and I mean people living on benefits, not supplementary benefits. I sold loads. Then came the sub-prime mortgage crisis and the market effectively ended. It seems like a shit idea but some benefits are paid for life, or they were in them days. I’ve no idea about today’s benefits so I can’t comment on the new plan. I still think It was a crap idea though, all sorts of scum bags were buying up the housing stock that Thatcher sold off and now the country doesn’t have enough social housing at affordable prices. I first encountered the Jos Daki types doing this job, lying, deceiving twats that they are. I’d call one up and be talking to his fucking brother without knowing as they are scum that feel the need to lie for a living, never trusted or liked them since.

    • Sundance “Butch, we’re surrounded.
      Reckon we’ll get out of this?

      Butch “reckon so.
      But we’ll have to shoot our way out.”

      Sundance “say pardner,wheres Boris?”

      Butch “left him with the horses and the money down in Dry Gulch”

      Sundance “?!!!!!!

      Both “I surrender”

    • I work in the industry and I assure you it’s still there. Lots of lenders won’t accept majority benefit income but they will allow extra affordability because of benefits. I understand certain ones eg forces disablement etc but not child tax credit, they are for the children not to be ploughed into assets.

      Also fucks me off that a person here for five years gets a discount off their home paid by the local tax payers and forced by central government because if they don’t allow them to go on the cheap it’s rawyyyycist. This is the main issue with Right to Buy, it should be for ex service men and women only.

    • Oddly, I believe that “the plan” is that eventually everyone will get monthly handouts, more work to be computerised, bosses get obscenely richer (I am thinking of the real fatcat corporate types, not a real grafter running removals, building firms, electricians). Work will sort of be optional, Joe Public will be increasingly controlled by widgets, apps & c.
      And the GP receptionist I had to d/w yesterday (whose levals of empathy suggest that she probably enjoys nailing kittens to a door) will be rendered down for candles. Which we will need, as thanks to Miss Turniphead and her idiot followers who are now taking fossil fuel companies to the Strasbourg court, there won’t be any bloody leccy.
      Rant over.

  16. Something tells me that this insane idea has already been kicked into the long grass.
    Stand by for the next idiotic idea from Boris.

  17. This was Clinton and Obummer’s idea of levelling up, along come 2008, CRASH.

  18. Before embarking on some free homes scheme for the benefit brigade, they need to drain the fucking swamp.

    All this just pisses off the tax paying population, especially the ones who are just above the level where benefits end.

    Cunts.

  19. I suppose this insane idea harks back to Thatcher’s Right to Buy scheme back in the 80s where people renting their council homes had the opportunity of buying them.

    I can’t recall exact details but I believe a lot of council homes were brought by enterprising private landlords doing deals with council tenants. It also meant the Tory’s move away from building more council homes and turning to developers to build homes in the private sector, thus reducing supply of council homes and forcing some tenants into the private sector and/or housing associations.

    The big elephant in the room is of course too many people, too few affordable homes. Moreover we’re supposed to be aiming towards net-zero but insist on building homes and business on Green Belt. So what’s the fucking point!?

    • The fucking point is that Jellyfish and Co are grasping at straws to get re elected. No idea is too daft- after all , it isn’t going to be the, who picks up the bill and the pieces.

    • Technocunt@ – Afternoon Techno – Thatcher pulled the very sly trick of making Council properties available to buy at a discount – if the “little poor people” pay the mortgage that’s fine, if they don’t it’s at no cost to the Junta. But Thatcher promised all the money raised would go on building new social housing and the Local Authorities used the money for anything but. Fast forward 35 or so years and we have a social housing shortage for all except foreign chancers and parasites.
      Lots of very rich and well connected people suddenly “acquired” Council houses for their children and relatives and sold them on three years later for a huge profit – a dirty, corrupt and rotten shitfest from beginning to end.

    • This is one of the reasons I voted Brexit. Because we need to be self sustaining. I don’t think people actually get were not just of loads of moaning old ‘boomers’ as cunts call people. Some of us are younger people with a consence.

  20. Trying to underwrite a shaky property market to protect your portfolio? Tell me it isn’t so BoBo.

  21. What happened to “you’ll own nothing and be happy” ?
    Oh yeah, like this ridiculous scheme, it’s bollocks.

  23. i am anxiously waiting for the day that if you don’t take some immigrants into your home voluntarily we will be forced to have them in our homes.
    Sounds outrageous ? Don’t be surprised.
    You heard it first here from the Prophet Fenton.

    • The old Bag and her acolytes who I stirred up when she appealed for people willing to house refugees from The Ukraine has now got an appeal out for people to house a Ukranian family who are currently in Germany…..why the fuck do they need come here if they are currently safe in Germany?
      I was going to give the Cunts a prod but several “vile racists” seem to have beaten me to it

      • DF-F@ – Evening Sir Fiddler – “vile racists” is it?
        Well, that’s politicians for you! 😀

    • I thought this as well, it will start with long term council tenants who may suddenly have a spare room due to a son leaving home or a spouse passing away, there can’t be much room left in the hotels at this point. There was some poxy cunt council in London ( quel surpris) that was offering a council tax discount to any pillock who would take one of these chancers in. How long before that becomes a penalty for not taking one?

  24. When the overwhelming majority are dependant on state benefits (in work or not), then the state wields more power.
    Totalitarianism.

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