Greedy Cunts.
A nomination for the above, if you please.
Went with my family to our local public house that does a smashing carvery, today. Got our food and sat down to eat.
What I couldn’t help notice was the amount of greedy, feckless cunts that piled food onto their plates that required the steady hand of a surgeon to stop it spilling off the plate, and, nearly all of the cunts didn’t eat half of it.
No generic identity for the greedy cunts, either. Not all of them were fat cunts, (the term ‘Eyes bigger than your belly’ certainly didn’t pertain to some of the fuckers), quite a few elderly and younger ones were at it, too. Shit-loads of waste.
Take what you want and eat what you take, you feckless fucking wastrels.
Nominated by: DCI Gene Cunt
Part and parcel of the human condition, sadly and a fine example of where many lack any restraint.
The modern world thrives on greed. Carvery gluttony, that foetus-faced arsehole Tony Blair, Elon Musk, expense crazy MPs for starters. Oh and the boss of the company I leave at the end of this month. They start off well enough, and with good intentions and then once they get a taste of it – enough is never enough.
All grabby, grasping cunts.
My pet greed hate? These fucking companies who earn 50 million pounds in profit announce that they must increase profits the following year.
Fuck them all into a giant volcano.
27
Don’t forget the ones who go on to moan that they can’t afford a pay increase for the workers whilst then bunging the CEO a ‘performance bonus’ of £500k.
24
I agree Paul. It is all well and good to take what you can get but the problem is if some bastards take more than their fair share there is little left for those who are not so avaricious . It’s not just food but everything. I will never forget last year when the pandemic had just started and everything was flying off the shelves, being in the supermarket early one morning (the spouse gave up the shops years ago) and saw a husband and wife pair in their sixties demolishing the pile of 24 rolls a packet lavatory rolls. They had two big trollies between them, packed high with this bog roll. Either the were expecting a massive and prolonged dose of the shits, or, more likely, they were going to sell it on eBay for a massive profit. What sad cunt would get off on collecting/hoarding lavatory paper?
22
The toilet paper panic… I thought they were pathologically afraid of getting a bit of shit on their fingers.
1
Our company made £500k profits in 2019. Company bonuses? No, not that year due to difficult trading conditions/company debts.
Not even a hamper at Christmas. Happy to buy company cars for Director’s kids who don’t even work for the company. Just massive fucking overheads.
24
Morning All👍
I told this tale before, applicable now:
I took er indoors and a couple of young family members for a day out. On the way home they asked if we could stop off at a carvery they knew.
We were shown to a table next to a family, who made TV’s “Go-lightly” clan look anorexic: Mum, Dad, daughter and partner.
They were stuffing their chops.
We were still having a drink, when they were going up for seconds (or thirds?).
We eventually got up to join the now, much shorter cue.
As we approached the car very counter, the Go-lightly clan were wobbling back, armed with plates piled so high, it defied gravity.
Mummy Go-lightly at the head, leading her daughter. Saying, in a nasally twang:
“Make way! Make way! Pwegnant woman, pwegnant women!”
Being the cunter I am, I couldn’t help but mutter:
“It doesn’t show!” As they waddled past.
When we returned to the table they all “glared” at us.
We are in silence, barely touching our food, as they managed to glare and eat like starving cattle, simultaneously.
Great cunting Gene-one if my pet hates👍
26
Good nom.
I am of the generation that had to eat what was put in front of me, and all of it.
There were no allergies in those days.
We couldn’t afford them.
We were hungry kids.
There was no such thing as food waste.
Inventive mothers would make something out of nothing and we happily ate it.
There are restaurants that serve huge portions that cannot possibly be eaten in one go.
America comes to mind. A pile of sticky pancakes for breakfast or a bucket full of chicken wings for dinner.
There are restaurants local to me where I know only to order a main course, sometimes to be shared between two. Starters and dessert will be too much.
The greediest fuckers that I ever saw were Germans at a buffet in a Philippines hotel.
At the end of the buffet there was more food left on the plates at their tables than there was at the self service stations.
They were taking 3 or 4 desserts each, trying a spoonful of everything and then just leaving it.
21
In effect, once you’ve paid, everything is free so, like anything else that is free people abuse it and take far more than they can eat. Same with the NHS being “free” at the point of use. Now you and I don’t abuse it because we fucking pay for it but dirty immos and home grown trashbags don’t pay a penny so they don’t give a fuck.
28
I believe this is known as a ‘tragedy of the commons’.
2
Went on a cruise some years ago. There were three female land whales, looked like sisters. They would go to the dessert counter first, before looking at the mains, and put an entire gateau on their table, before selecting the equivalent of an entire roast pig with potatoes each.
Not a fucking vegetable or piece of fruit in sight, either.
15
Tha’d be San, Tray and…ehm, what’s a good name for the Third Fat Slag?
2
Meghan!
1
I remember going out to eat in Recife, Brazil.
It’s never a good idea to choose a restaurant with just a few people in it, so the one that we went into was heaving with locals.
Always a good sign.
It was an open buffet but with no fixed price.
You took what you wanted from the huge choice and at the payment counter your plate was weighed.
You paid for the weight of your food.
You might think this strange as my wife’s pasta was a little more expensive than my steak, but the owners of the restaurant had obviously averaged out the price and were doing very well.
There was no waste.
18
Artful, that sounds like a good idea. Weighing the plates of food.
1
The sights you see in foreign hotel restaurants is enough to shake even the stoutest of hearts.
Simply fucking horrific.
12
Greedy cunts abound. The example being your average Politician.
At the Speakers Dinner there were 9 courses. ! The Mansion House 9 courses and the Gluttony fuckfest at Glasgow has cost us plenty.
Excess seems to be the new normal
12
9 courses?! Blimey, EyeClaudius. I wonder what they are and how big the portions were.
0
This is where the green fascists are going to come unstuck. What happens when you bring in rationing and price fixing to get cunts to eat vegan shite? What happens when you are only allowed one or two visits to McDonalds or KFC per month? What happens when you need a vax pass to go into any restaurant? Meanwhile, the rich cunts and their political poodles are noshing and pissing it up like a bunch of Roman Senators.
Good luck with that one Greta!
20
Places that do the carvery thing are grubby holes full of greedy people eating cheap ingredients and the bits of dead animals nobody else wants.
Not been to one for many years but I remember old folk were the worst offenders.
Vile unholy places that worship at the shrine of gluttony and the car parks are full of Kia fake 4x4s and Toyota Auris.
12
Greedy cunts?
Owen Paterson springs to mind,
Although hes probably under snakey cunts in a dictionary.
Greeds a repulsive but endemic part of the human condition.
9
Morning Miserable.
Owen Patterson is the psycho who went on a badger killing spree when he was in the government about 10 years ago, because “badgers are moving the goalposts”.
His wife subsequently committed suicide. An interesting case study.
(There is a nomination all about this obnoxious, wanky, slimy little cunt due to go live in the next few days – Day Admin)
8
Ah! Didn’t know that Ruff!
No goalposts big enough for Owen eh?
Piece of shite.
Morning mate 👍
6
Fat gits
7
With regards to food … it’s another of those basic education requirements that requires implementation. A requirement that goes with access to basic health care provided by the NHS. The relatively small amount of (quality) food it takes to sustain a healthy adult amazes me.
Unfortunately, greed is something that appears to be at the top of human weakness. Temptation invades our every waking moment and we simply can’t resist. The big corporates know this well and ensure that they hook us up and exploit the fuck out of it. The food and drink industry are disgusting in their approach to this and the advertising industry (seriously greedy cunts) constantly ensure that our lifestyles are constructed around the need for more.
Given what’s gaining traction in terms of environmental concerns … it’s very clear that the future is going to be a very different proposition … but it’ll still be driven by greed.
Keep expanding the population and the dynamics will take care of things … greed will be the downfall of humanity. You’re all fucked … anyway I’ve got to make sure that I’ve got more of everything than anyone else before … cos he who has the most wins! Right? Cunts!
11
I wouldn’t be seen dead at a Carvery.
14
Ha ha ha 👍
5
In some fast food places in America they have free refills on soft drinks, you just stick your cup under the tap as many times as you like. So, of course, you order the small drink because you can always get more for free. But plenty of fat bastards order the large drink so they can get more in every time they waddle over to the taps. They drink enough Coke and Orange Fanta to float a fucking battleship. Same with ordinary restaurants, they pile up the plate with huge great steaks and pork chops like you’ve never seen before. Fat cunts.
Yet, if you order a second alcoholic drink they look at you like you’re some kind of hobo alkie or something. I’ve never ordered a third in case they call the coppers on me.
Strange people.
21
I may have mentioned before that I live stateside. The better class establishments are better but they still have a culture of ‘boxing to go’.
My local haunt doesn’t look down their nose at me as I order a 3rd IPA. But then waitresses (oops, sorry, ‘servers’) know they’re gonna get 20% of the price as a tip for carrying it over from the bar.
If you want to indulge in some anthropological research into the land whale phenomenon then I suggest a Taco Bell, or better still the all you can eat Asian buffet. Imagine your average carvery with 30 times the choice. Don’t stand still too long or you will be in the menu yourself.
If you
7
Great nom Gene. Or should that be nom nom nom.
Recently visited my step daughter at university in Nottingham and we visited one of tobys finest.
Greedy, greedy bastards everywhere . I swear my plate was the only clean one left on any table.
They even have a takeaway available and the two slobs ahead of us in the queue were armed with takeaway boxes . Four of them about the size of a box of biscuits for cheese. You know, the one everyone has at Christmas .
Well, these two packed them like suitcases. Everything went in followed by squashing the lid down to get it to close , creating a block of compressed carvery with two flat Yorkshire puddings and gravy dripping off the side of the boxes.
What a fucking disgusting pair of cunts.
Both in tracksuits( oh the irony) and falling out the side of their trainers. Swaying from side to side just to walk .
Pair of fat greedy cunts.
22
Not really a fan of carverys.
Queueing up with a plate like its fuckin Strangeways.
Some gormless old cunt fannying about in front,
Food half cold by time your seated.
Sunday roast by conveyor belt .
13
When my mate was receiving chemotherapy he was getting a taxi to the hospital.
I reminded him that he could claim payment from the Macmillan. Don’t need it he said, I have money, let people who need it use it.
A good example to the greedy.
25
That old problem “human nature” we are still geared to our Hunter gatherer mindset, civilisation has added lots of nice bits to what is basically a machine programmed by evolution to eat when it can, mate when it can, act altruistically ( if benefits to itself confer ) and survive.
All the additions that civilisation have added to the mix have enabled these basic drives to be adulterated and magnified thus we now find ourselves in a World run by and for arsewipes and cunts. We are doomed.
12
Absolutely.
As a species, we are perfectly adapted to a time that no longer exists.
11
Going to a carvery is like shopping in Asda as far as I’m concerned. Cheap shit served up by disinterested immigrant workers and beloved by chavs.
11
The local pub just down the road in Waswater, does a rather excellent Sunday carvery. The pub isn’t affiliated to Toby or Weatherspoons, and the meals are a little on the expensive side (probably to fleece tourists, and dissuade chavs). But the quality of the food is exceptional, and on the limited times we’ve patronised the place over the last 18 months, most of the customers there are quite civil and don’t pile their plates to the rafters!
Of course on the flipside of ordinary fat bastards loading their plates with food they’re never going to eat; you can get restaurants (Gordon Ramsey, being one) where you’re served a huge fucking plate with the smallest main meal known to man at the centre of it.
Typical greedy restaurateurs fleecing punters with minimalist food on big plates with even bigger bills!
11
Similar pub to the one in the nom, Techno. Excellent food, nearly all home-made, (pies are exceptional), not a frozen roastie in sight, and not part of a chain. Not all carveries are piss-poor quality, maybe some of you lot should set your sights and standards of the places you frequent, higher!😉
8
Wasteful bastards. All you can eat not try a spoonful of everything then waste it. Reason I hate all inclusive holidays. Winds me up no end. Cunt
8
Fuel shortages due to greedy cunts who most likely do around 10 miles a week. The cunts .
7
An excellent bit of cunting.
It reminds me of an experience in Florida many years ago, when our daughter was 8 or 9.
She wanted to go to this place (can’t remember the name now) where it was all you can eat for a set fee.
You could go back to the serving areas as often you wanted, so we did the obvious thing; chose a starter chose, had a bit of soup, and so on. Nevertheless, we were amazed at the number of people who simply took a plate and piled it high with fish, meat and gravy, eggs, chips, vegetables and anything else they could, then left half of it.
They were either too fucking stupid or too idle simply to go course by course as it were. Human nature’s a strange thing.
8
I queued up for petrol for three hours recently. When I finally got on to the forecourt and pulled up next to the pump I was relieved and actually quite emotional and I just started filling up….
11
You are Tim Vine and I wanna tenner for a kebab.
5
I feel your pain! After waiting hours to fill my tank I just broke down. Luckily the AA got me going again!
1
These hogs are equivalent to the kind of slob who always ends up in front of me on a plane. He weighs about 20 stone, forces his bag, which is the size of a small car, into the overhead locker while thrusting his fat unwashed belly into your face. He then squeezes his massive arse into the seat which he then proceeds to push as far back as possible as if trying to break it. Small mercies though. At least I´m not the poor sod sitting beside him who is trapped against the porthole.
10
They should make him buy extra seats.
Or have a fatty section.
And throw in a soundproofed baby section too.
3
The council give their food waste bins, we use ours of the grand kids nappies. Never throw any food away. See the latest survey shows gen z eco panicked to be the worst for food after. Cunts and gluttony all of them.
4
I see fat people
2
If you don’t eat your dinner, you don’t get any pudding.
1
I like the buffet as it suits my lifestyle. You know, a little bit of this a little bit of that. Once went to a Chinese buffet at Tower Park in Poole, Dorset. I swear to God there had to be the fattest guy I have seen in my entire fucking life making constant trips. He was there when I arrived and I could see what was on the buffet by looking at the marquis sized t shirt he was modeling. Fat cunt went up 16 times before I gave up counting, and was still going when I left. The manager looked miserable as fuck as he did the profit and loss calculations in his inscrutable head. There should be a law which forbids these Hippopotamus from public grazing!
2