It’s your domestic correspondent here – sort of butch Esther Ranzen – to tell you of the latest halfwit to be left in floods of tears at the checkout.
You will recall a couple of weeks ago I told you about some silly tart reduced to tears in a sports shop because the lift wasn’t working?, Well today an even sillier tart who got her knickers in a twist and departed in floods of tears because the supermarket cashier was too fast for her. Step forward, Ms. Fuller:
You can only assume that these daft cows are after financial compensation, else why do they admit to grizzling over such minor matters.
At one time in Britain we were proud of our stiff upper lips – these days the stiff upper lips are engulfed under floods of tears and double chins.
Nominated by: W.C.Boggs
I use Aldi and they certainly dont fuck about. I imagine thie fucker usually spends 40 minutes dawdling, chatting and generally holding everyfucker up in Sainsburys.
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TRAUMATISED……the wokies favourite word when they come over all weepy. Her kids will be traumatised if they have to eat shit from Aldi.
Wimminz at supermarket check outs are always a pain in the arse. They just can’t do the simplest of things such as having your card ready instead of spending half an hour searching through their fucking bag and purse. Every fucking time.
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Mild peril warning
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We all know the real story here.
Nichola is like most modern people.
A dawdler, a plodder, a slow to act type, a over sensitive twat,
A massive mardarse, and a grade A mong.
Concentrate and keep up Nichola, or ill jab your feckless arse with a cattle prod.
How would she do working ‘piece rate’?
And how much shopping was she buying the greedy cunt?
I was the store manager id bar her till she apologised to the till monkey.
Fuck that ‘customer is always right’ bollocks.
Ive met the general public and theyre cunts.
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I expect the usual highlight of her day is farting about yapping to some poor checkout fuck and holding everyone else up. Robbed of her sense of empowerment she played the “traumatised” card expecting to get that mountain of food for free. The Germans are renowned for their efficiency – if you want to dawdle about become a Jehovah’s Witness, you dozy twat.
14
One for Unkle Terry.
Lets get a kickstarter going for keeping the oven hot. Put out a few soppy adverts of Freeview channels during programmes aimed the elderly.
‘There are plenty of cunts out there, but the gas bill won’t pay itself. Give just two hundred thousand pounds a month to keep Unkle Terry’s oven functioning’
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Being Krauts they probably have an oven in the backroom.
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And showers
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Whatever next?
Bus slightly late. Traumatized.
Baked beans too close to fried eggs. Traumatized.
Slight breeze blows hair out of place. Ditto
Alarm clock a bit too loud. Ditto.
Shopping bags too heavy to carry 30ft to car. Ditto
All of these “tragedies” warrant column inches in the media. No wonder this country is circling the shitpan!
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Techno@
Please dont say ‘circling the shitpan” at teatime.
Its very uncouth.
And vulgar.
Some of us are a bit more refined,
I for one get out of the bath to piss.
Your not in Bloody Birmingham now.😀👍
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Humblest apologies, Miserable.
Now that I am living in the Lake District I have had to raise my game in the culture stakes given that 98% of the locals here are fascist non-woke white privileged supremacists born and bred, and that everyone speaks English – something that rarely happened back in Brum!
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‘Baked beans too close to fried eggs.’
Don’t mock. At least seperate them with a sausage or a slice of toast, perhaps even a hash brown.
The struggle is real.
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“Tour boat goes near whales, cetaceans traumatised.”
Well at least it wasn’t Cap’n Ahab hurling fucking harpoons
Or a japanese whaler firing exploding harpoon grenades
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I was traumatised the last time I went to Burger King £7 for a fucking regular meal? Fuck that. It’s barely above kebab shop quality.
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You can get two large doner kebabs for £7.
It’s probably best not to know what goes into the meat, but it’s good tasting fodder.
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That’s what chilli sauce was invented for.
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Not round my way. A large doner is £7.20 and when he says “you wanna saaal-ad” you have to stand at the counter and demand more tomato and cucumber or the cunt will give you fuck all. Thieving fucking Abduls.
That’s made me hungry now. I might nip out for a kebab and some wifebeaters.
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I made a big mistake in being hungry one night and ordering a large lamb doner kebab from my local mobile kebab man. Fuck me, large? It was a fucking mountain of pitta, doner meat and salad for £7.
Delicious, but I couldn’t eat the whole thing – it were just too fucking big!
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Given the chouce i’d have the BK meal. Not a big fan of doner meat.
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I reckon Aldi till workers would give F1 pit stop teams a run for their money.
Unless you’re buying a few items just throw it all back in the trolley and pack later. Aldi isn’t designed to pack your shit away.
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That’s exactly what you are meant to do, hence the small after scan area, & the huge shelf beyond the till.
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Same ALDI design worldwide including here in Victoriastan.
I treat it as a race to keep up with the checkouts, mind you these are professionals and are fucking good, some so good their right arm develops disproportionally.
I like ALDI as prices are not lazily rounded up to the next dollar.
However every item is brightly packed and looks less like food and more like a toy-shop.
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There’s been a lot of powerful nominations in the past week (Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Boris) so why does something like this meaningless checkout mong get on the front page? Asking for a friend.
Variety is the spice of life, plus we’ve had 50,000 fucking Afghanistan noms in the last week. – DA
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For the glamour.
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Hardly glamorous dragging her 3 brats around the supermarket irritating the fuck out of everyone else in there. I would ban all kids from supermarkets maybe have a playpen for them outside if I am feeling charitable.
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A cage is enough just confine them dont entertain em
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It’s the 24 hour news cycle…..you have a lot of space to fill and with today’s ever shrinking attention spans you need small insignificant items to fill the bird like brains of the general public.
A lot of “news” these days is just entertainment…….such as us cunts amusing ourselves by slagging off this empty headed dozy old tart.
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Can’t disagree with that, Freddie! But I posted a nom for a mong at the checkout on sunday. It was a rumpled, crumpled, befuddled middle-aged man buying food and scratching his arse while gormlessly gawping at his phone. That man was…
Boris Johnson, the leader of The United Kingdom of Great Britain, Second-in-Command of the Armed Forces of one of the most powerful military machines in the world during a time when a country as significant as Afghanistan is imploding due to the Americans just “pulling out” without no one seemingly knowing about it in the British Cabinet or Military High Command.
I feel like I am taking crazy pills when I look at the TV news and papers these days. I feel like I am in a dark chapter of an unpublished Philip K. Dick novel.
Oh that nom got merged into the Afghan megathread scheduled for Saturday (times subject to change depending on events) – DA
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Heard Jellyfish on the radio boasting that since August 14th we have shifted enough people to populate a town the size of Dorking. Great!……. a new town full of gimmegrants and jihadis in less than 2 weeks. Are we supposed to be celebrating that you posh cunt? Whoop de fucking doo.
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Not to be “that guy” (impatient ungrateful web brat) but why isn’t something like the Afghanistan shitstorm bumped to the top of the list of cuntings? Is it just a first-come, first served process for cuntings? Often, there are events that need to be torn apart by Cunters here, but they don’t appear for ages and in the meantime, a lot of nothing-burgers get a once-over cunting that isn’t much fun. Raab and Boris and Biden and Kamala need to be given a medieval mauling over the spaz-fest of the last ten days.
We all appreciate the admin here, it’s a last bastion of no-holds-barred free speech muckraking/slinging!
No worries. We’ve had several posts about it over the last couple of weeks (there’s actually another that’s related to a person not the entire issue tomorrow). We space out nominations to try to prevent burnout on a particular subject (See: Markle, Meghan) Yes we actually think about what nominations go on what day and in what order. Sometimes… – DA
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I went for a job at my local Aldi ( Didn’t get it, thank fuck) all the cunt interviewer wanted to know was can you swipe 1,000 items an hour. A Czech guy got the job matey the manager was nearly jizzing himself to get him on his team. My homo warning alert was going off too well IMHO.
As a Gammon I didn’t get a look in. Was that positive discrimination, or the realization he wasn’t going to get CuntyMorts ringpiece?
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I imagine Aldi stores in more ‘culturally diverse’ areas are akin to a UN food drop with stuff on pallets and bumper packs of products piled up with every cunt for themselves.
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Where do you work now, Mort?
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Local pharmacy as a delivery driver.
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Oh fuck, that can be a hard job depending on who you work with. I’d have anxiety sleep-deprivation if I was involved in anything to do with pills! I was shocked to learn that a pharmacist makes 58,000 quid per year, but that actually makes sense when you have to make ZERO mistakes or some poor sod(s) could end up meeting Elvis.
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Meet my boss, (pharmacist) she IS a cunt. If she is on holiday different place to work.
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Here’s another example of the sort of cunt we’re talking about. Traumatised because his baby’s nappy was full and he couldn’t change it in a toilet. Also a special mention to the author of this esteemed piece that calls nappies diapers. Kill me now. https://www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk/news/people/doncaster-father-was-forced-to-change-his-babies-diaper-on-the-floor-as-there-were-no-facilities-available-to-him-inside-the-frenchgate-shopping-centre-3360125?fbclid=IwAR0TCgH7XEbEXTssJ7LiuZN__6lOJDTIQ1JXjwq68EYQdu96Vy8TDtmqwAM
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Wayne and fucking Waynetta. What a soft as shite cunt. You’re a Dad now, just get on with it you hopeless cunt!
It is definitely a generational thing. I am 50 and was brought up just to get on with and don’t fucking well fanny around.
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People like this deserve humiliation in the local paper. He’s probably the sort of gimp whose entire social circle is made of soft drippy, halfwits and bedwetters: lib dem voters, eternal students and public sector administrators.
Wanker.
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When I go to the supermarket I like to hand the customer shopping divider to the checkout girl and ask her how much it is, as there’s no price on it….
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All she had to do was ask the clerk to slow down a bit. Sounds phobic as she says she think check outs are too small. I suspect this one is a wide loader as well as a mental.
Self check outs are a dream come true. Little to no queuing, you can be as fast as you want and no idiot in front of you digging around for a purse and 500 expired coupons.
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Fucking hell, how would she have done between 1939 and 1945?
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The traumatised bitch would have gone down the tube station and never come out again until the war was over.
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I’m sure there was the odd one touched in the head back then but now there is a plague of them. Symptoms: wide load in some cases, unkempt appearance, moaning about nothing. Do not approach!
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“Fucking hell, how would she have done between 1939 and 1945?”
I don’t think that Pop Tarts and microwave pizza were on the ration card, so she would have been snookered.
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I like the idea of those stores where you just put your fatty treats, booze and Extra-Large Maxi-Pads into the trolley then leave the store and your bank account is charged automatically through modern magic. That and home delivery is the future.
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When I worked at Waitrose I used to play “Beat the customer ” which in the days before bar codes was a challenge.
Ring it up and get it down the belt before the customer could pack it.
I regularly got complimented by customers with phases like “You’ve crushed my eggs!”
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My local Aldi has Zero space between the scanner and trolley, however behind the checkouts is a long counter so shoppers can pack at their leisure, if you only have a few items it fucking great because even if the cunt in front of you has a full trolley they get processed a light speed 😂
I only shop there on odd occasions just for a few items, hand basket only, it’s a bit shit 🤮
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I saw some ace customer service skills this morning.
Ive had a 3 day job on from a hall in Cheshire down to North Wales.
Stopped to fuel up at the services on the A55,
Walks in and some blokes getting into it with the cashier who’s a little chubby goth bird.
Bloke “youve told me 5 times”
Goth “and im telling you for the 6th time!”
Bloke “im a customer! Whats your name?”
Goth “STOP STARING AT MY CHEST!!!”😀
She fuckin owned him,
Hahahaha, he was fuckin beetroot!
I was polite as fuck to her.
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I was in the BP Garage on the A509 at Lavendon last year and some old bugger (about 20 years younger than me) was chatting up the blonde bird behind the counter. She was obviously trying to get rid of him and when he said I will be in next week she replied “See you next Tuesday”. I started sniggering and she went bright red and said ” you understood that” .
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Fuck all shit about Aldi. Go to fucking Waitrode and get robbed for the same shit.
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This cunt needs traumatising with a bottle of Lambrini up her arsehole.
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Broken I hope.
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Does this loopy cock receptacle not know that when in Aldi, you don’t bag up at the till, you just stick it in the trolley, pay, then go to the bagging point and bag it up there ?
No wonder this country is fucked ( it is fucked, you know ), when a woman doesn’t know how to shop.
Considering a woman’s brain is about 90% dedicated to shopping, this specimen must definitely be in epsilon minus territory.
That aside. Will Sleepy Joe be good to his word when he said there would be dire consequences, should any US troops get killed during the evacuation ?
https://apnews.com/article/europe-france-evacuations-kabul-9e457201e5bbe75a4eb1901fedeee7a1
Now’s your chance to show us your balls, Joe.
I expect nothing less than extensive carpet bombing.
Arthur Harris would know how to handle this.
They should have glassed Afghanistan over, twenty years ago.
The Stone Age is calling.
Get To Fuck.
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I read the U.S was sharing and co-ordinating information with the Taliban. It comes to something when ISIS is the common enemy and you are now buddying up with cunts you have been at war with for the past 20 fucking years. What a fucking shit show.
Evening Jack.
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“no where in history has the loss of life and total destruction been so complete as the nuclear bombing of Afghanistan.
Millions of lives lost and the country uninhabitable for centuries”.
Double dare you, sniffing Joe.
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There will be people in Haiti living in the rubble after the recent earthquake there thinking “you poor bastards, what a shithole. How can we help?”.
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Evening, LL. I am at a loss as to why the West went in to begin with.
History tells us that you can’t win in Afghanistan. The UK, more than anyone should know that.
Death From Above, would be the only way to sort it and any other shithole ending in ‘ stan ‘.
The saddest and most annoying thing is, we lost over 400 service personnel and had thousands wounded. For fuck all.
A lot of homeless folk are veterans, living a shit life on the street. While we house the dregs of the world in houses and hotels, feed them, doctor them, educate them, etc. etc.
We’re living in Bedlam.
I despise our ruling elite.
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Biden is a shithouse and a liar.
He’ll stand smiling on top of a pile of dead marines.
Because he’s a soft cunt.
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Breaking news: 12 dead military personnel…
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/world-58279900
Joe is a mong, US gov is a mong. Clusterfuck on steroids.
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Omega territory.
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Not on topic but I thought it was worth sharing.
There has just been a rinkydink on the TV talking about the new culture and how good diversity is now.
And I quote Asians won’t be playing stereotypical woles.
Comedy gold.
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That’s what you get for reading Yorkshire Live FFS……
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One good thing about all these hyper sensitive, grizzly types is when the predicted end of society occurs, hardcore bastards like us will have a ready supply of labour and protein if need be.
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A late comment.
Cunt believe that somebody has not already given her full name.
Nicola Fuller-Shyte.
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