Die Hard Apple Fans

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I want to nominate die hard Apple fans who appear to have a blindly following, Jim Jones cult-like mentality to a shiny piece of metal and glass, because its made by Apple.

I work with a couple of these fuckers and there are times where I have to test my self restraint to the limits so as not to be overcome by rage and twat someone with a keyboard like James McAvoy does in ‘Wanted’.

I recently bought a new laptop and one of them asked if I got a MacBook, to which I replied ‘no’. He then sneered derision on me and told me I must be poor. Well no actually. Its more down to the fact that I don’t see the point in paying over £1k for a glorified V-Tech infants laptop. I’m pretty IT and financially savvy and I know that I can get a top of the range HP/Toshiba/Dell etc. for about £500 less than a CackBook Pro and I can actually do work on it.

As in proper work. You know, like adults do, not fucking 1/2 caffeinated, soy latté drinking, bearded, avocado guzzling, hipster millenials, who have paid £1300 to surf the web and go on Kuntsagram and upload their weird didgeridoo trance avant garde nerd rock, or whatever the fuck they listen to.

Also if I’m so poor, why is it that I have my own house and car and can afford to go on holiday abroad each year, while he still lives with his parents?

Another one of them pipes up with ‘Apple stuff’s better mate. I hate android phones’. Yet when I asked why, he can’t come up with a convincing argument to back it up. I asked if he was happy about the fact that Apple don’t give a fuck about their customers and deliberately slow down older versions of their products, so that people are forced into buying new phones, watches?
…silence.

All this brand fanboy stuff is a load of fucking bollocks. Do people compare toasters against each other, or microwaves? Whenever a new product is released all the Apple sheep queue up for hours to get one at midnight.

It is all style over substance, you cunts. If Apple products are so good, why is it all the big financial corporations, energy companies, Governments, NASA, etc. all seem to use machines running windows? Oh yes, that’ll be because they can actually do work on them and they’re more cost effective and integrate with all other equipment and software.

Well done though, Apple. You’ve tapped into the hive mind of these gullible cunts, ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ type cunts, by presenting them with shiny sparkly things to keep them mollified like fucking simpletons.

Sorry for the dissertation

Dissert away, Mr Steptoe. Great cunting – Admin

Nominated by Harold Steptoe

48 thoughts on “Die Hard Apple Fans”

  1. The new cheese grater, I mean apple mac book pro looks really interesting apart from the fact it has downgraded specs and is 6 thousand dollars

  2. There must be lots of reasons for people buying Apple things.
    One could be for a sense of belonging. Like school days where someone wasn’t considered cool enough to join in with a group unless they had the same thing whatever it may be.

    I don’t remember what was considered cool when I was at school. It might have been the black parka jacket with the orange lining in the hood.

    I mainly played games in the playground. Top Trumps, marbles, etc.
    I can’t remember the name of that one where each took it in turns to throw coins against the brick all. Early gambling I think that was.

  3. Apple’s shit gear is made from components dug out of the Samsung spare parts junk bin and gobby Apple fan boys are a bunch of sanctimonious, annoying twats who all deserve a thorough beating! End of!

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