I want to nominate die hard Apple fans who appear to have a blindly following, Jim Jones cult-like mentality to a shiny piece of metal and glass, because its made by Apple.
I work with a couple of these fuckers and there are times where I have to test my self restraint to the limits so as not to be overcome by rage and twat someone with a keyboard like James McAvoy does in ‘Wanted’.
I recently bought a new laptop and one of them asked if I got a MacBook, to which I replied ‘no’. He then sneered derision on me and told me I must be poor. Well no actually. Its more down to the fact that I don’t see the point in paying over £1k for a glorified V-Tech infants laptop. I’m pretty IT and financially savvy and I know that I can get a top of the range HP/Toshiba/Dell etc. for about £500 less than a CackBook Pro and I can actually do work on it.
As in proper work. You know, like adults do, not fucking 1/2 caffeinated, soy latté drinking, bearded, avocado guzzling, hipster millenials, who have paid £1300 to surf the web and go on Kuntsagram and upload their weird didgeridoo trance avant garde nerd rock, or whatever the fuck they listen to.
Also if I’m so poor, why is it that I have my own house and car and can afford to go on holiday abroad each year, while he still lives with his parents?
Another one of them pipes up with ‘Apple stuff’s better mate. I hate android phones’. Yet when I asked why, he can’t come up with a convincing argument to back it up. I asked if he was happy about the fact that Apple don’t give a fuck about their customers and deliberately slow down older versions of their products, so that people are forced into buying new phones, watches?
…silence.
All this brand fanboy stuff is a load of fucking bollocks. Do people compare toasters against each other, or microwaves? Whenever a new product is released all the Apple sheep queue up for hours to get one at midnight.
It is all style over substance, you cunts. If Apple products are so good, why is it all the big financial corporations, energy companies, Governments, NASA, etc. all seem to use machines running windows? Oh yes, that’ll be because they can actually do work on them and they’re more cost effective and integrate with all other equipment and software.
Well done though, Apple. You’ve tapped into the hive mind of these gullible cunts, ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ type cunts, by presenting them with shiny sparkly things to keep them mollified like fucking simpletons.
Sorry for the dissertation
Dissert away, Mr Steptoe. Great cunting – Admin
Nominated by Harold Steptoe
I agree with your post Harold but I have to say that I would prefer an Apple phone over Android.
Everything about Android looks like windows 95 , messy , all the apps kind of work where IPhones are much more simplified and being a music nut I like iTunes. Android does not have one decent music App , everything looks like it was made up in some geeks bedroom.
I totally agree about the ludicrous cost of Apple Laptops etc. I need a new Laptop but theirs no way I’m going to part with over £1300 for one.
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“Android does not have one decent music App , everything looks like it was made up in some geeks bedroom.”
Valid point, but that’s kind of why I like it. I am a bit of a geek, it all goes back to me messing about on a commodore 64 back in 1988.
I don’t like i-tunes since that fucking cunt Bono made some deal with them where i-tunes automatically downloaded his shit album onto your i-pod.
12
I fucking hate iTunes. My wife has an old iPod which I occasionally use because of its huge 80GB storage (it has over 5000 tracks on it) but the only way I can add tracks is via iTunes. But iTunes has a way of deciding the order of tracks which I can’t turn off. Ever tried listening to Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds once iTunes has ‘sorted’ it? I’ve put some music on my phone but that only has 32GB of SD card storage so I have to be selective. I’d never buy anything made by Apple and if, by some chance, I won something I’d sell it and buy something else.
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See your point but don’t agree. Mac OS machines will last much longer than Windows – currently 6 years with mine and no real performance issues. There’s no way a Dell/Toshiba laptop will last anywhere near that length of time. Windows outside of enterprise is rubbish.
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Mine has. And so has my old Samsung ‘phone. Only got a new ‘phone as it wouldn’t support an app I use for work. Still does what it was designed for, though.
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That’s bollocks.
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What is? Would you care to be a bit more specific? That my laptop is over 7 years old and still working perfectly or my old Samsung ‘phone?
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Wow you think the only alternative to Mac os is Windoze! My system is 7 years old and running Linux as sweet as a nut.
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I have an Apple Mac OS Sierra which I got cheap a few years ago from a university that was upgrading its equipment. Have never had a problem with it, excellent security and straightforward to use.
All in contrast to my previous machine, a Sony Vaio laptop with Windows, which was forever hassling me to download updates and seemed prone to viruses etc, despite my spending a small fortune on Norton etc.
Also have an iPad which the missus got me for 60th birthday, which is also very convenient and fuss free.
Yeah, I can definitely cunt the fans and the hype and the ridiculous rip-off prices, but from personal experience cannot fault the product… unless it’s gone down the shitter in the last 5 years.
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Your workmates sound like proper wankers Mr.Steptoe,lamp them.
Top class cunting I must say.
Fuck Apple.
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Some are and some aren’t. This one in particular is one of those typical bearded hipster types. Occasionally wears a bow-tie….by choice.
There’s a young lady who’s rather appealing, but sadly engaged.
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I still have a Casio FX-730 I use when I’m in work (rarely nowadays). Bought it in the late 80s and it still works great. Some cheeky young fucker I worked with found a picture of it in the California Museum of Calculators – I don’t know what’s sadder; him looking for it, or there being a museum of calculators.
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I’m calculating this guys a bit of a cunt?😂
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I collect calculators (I have over 200) but as I already know I’m a cunt it doesn’t count….maybe
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80085
Thats last time i used a calculator.
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Sheeple !!
And like their farm cousins they need to be regularly sheared!! And apple happily obliges…….
Off point….
corbyn says “ we need to trust the people “ in respect of loser vote 2
Unfortunately catweazel the people don’t trust you!! And all the other cunts who have blocked our “once in a generation “ choice!!
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I once had an Apple 2 phone and was relieved when it was stolen from me two months later, total headfuck of a device with relentless spam to buy more of their crap products. Being a cunt I took particular joy that Steve Jobs died of spine cancer despite his billions. One can only hope the same fate is meted out to Soros, Blair etcetera.
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Steve jobs should of listened to his own advice!
After all, a apple a day keeps the doctor away…
TAXI!!!.?
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My sister’s best mate’s boyfriend is a total cunt… Apart from being a cunt he is also an Apple obsessed bellend of the first rank…. You name it, he buys it and then let’s every fucker know he has bought it and what it does… The tosser would buy a turd if it had an Apple Mac logo on it…
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I think the argument isn’t that Apple products are crap, they’re certainly overpriced, but I can’t deny they do have a solid foundation and have made some industry changing products. I personally use Android as I can’t justify the inflated prices of Apple (although it must be said that both Samsung and Google now charge exuberant amounts for their new phones too, but Apple did still manage to take the biscuit with their £1000 TV stand) and Apple seem to be behind the curve with some features that have been on Android for years, plus their closed ecosystem puts me off.
My problem is mostly with the people who arrogantly claim that they’re some how superior, just because they have a little Apple logo on their electronics. Even though if you broke it down, mostly all components for mobile phones are made in China and most phones themselves are nigh on identical.
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I paid £125 for my first, and so far only, smartphone. It has far more capability than I will ever need. I only bought it because I wanted to run an app for my glucose meter on it but after 6 months the app wouldn’t connect to the meter anyway and, frankly, I resent parting with that money for something that I don’t otherwise need.
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Tech fanboys are a level of cunt whichever product they flock towards – but yes, slaves to Apple do indeed seem to be the worst.
Once their arch-bullshitter-in-chief, Steve Jobs, popped his fucking Birkenstocks, the company – already an almighty bastion of cuntitude – totally lost interest in developing tangibly new products and slid into the torpor of convincing fanboys to but the slightest, minimalist upgraded phones and tablets for £££.
I haven’t seen any true innovation from them in the last decade – well, not unless you include the wireless earphones that now make everyone look like fucking Nathan Barley. Surely even the most cuntered, die-hard obsessive deep down knows that Apple are now just flogging on their ‘reputation’.
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Totally agree HS.
I started off with an Apple computer back 25 years ago when they were industry standard in my field of work – graphic design.
They were and are so expensive. I have been with “The Dark Side” (as Apple nerds who I worked with put it) using Windows PCs for nearly 15 years and have found them more functional, easier to access internally to upgrade and get spares. Most of all they are cheaper. I am still running 10 year old PCs with no real problems.
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I wandered in to a local Apple store this week to take a look at the latest release iPhone. A calculation to price my hypothetical purchase, if I was a die hard Apple fan, which I am not, left me with $100 change from $2,500. I can claim the purchase as a tax deduction, although the thing about tax deductions is they need to be paid for … But why would I spend that much on a phone? Especially when the Apple store was chock-a-block full of cunt staff all wandering around hypnotised by the Apple logo.
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Great photo Admin….sums it all up.
Don’t have a problem with Apple myself. Beatles were more than ok; Badfinger, a talent sadly unfulfilled; but who can ever forget the legendary Mary Hopkin and James Taylor?!!
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Apple. Not as delicious as the fruit. Fuck Apple and their iTunes DRM. Fuck them and their security questions. Fuck their overly priced trashcan shaped computer.
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The telephone box in my street is way better than the one in the next street….
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Ive never used an Apple product. The brand snobbery and pretention is cringeworthy, and getting them repaired or upgraded is more difficult than a PC.
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Just look at these CUNTS,will make your piss boil!
https://www.cnet.com/news/old-casio-is-apples-iwatch-say-fanboys-fooled-by-kimmel/
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I just wrote a long-winded reply but I sounded like a boring cunt so I deleted it.
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I had to go to the Apple store in Westfield last week. My daughter has a Mac laptop (bought through a school scheme) and I have an iPhone (a hand-me-up from the kids). Both had fucked up for some reason. Battery in both and new speakers in the laptop. I suppose they had both done a bit of service, especially the laptop being smacked about in a school bag. I know that I fucked up the iPhone as I was using it as a sat nav on my motorbike touring Belgium – it was 35degrees and I had it in a case, in another water-proof case. Not surprising it over-heated really.
I fucking hate tech and, in my experience, using Apple products is easier for IT-mongs like me. However, the Apple shop was full of fucking weirdos all seemingly buying iPhone 11s on tick. Going to Westfield is a bad enough experience, but seeing all those fucking cocks wasting the best part of a day to buy a new phone is beyond me. Will it improve their lives? Probably not. However, I have to admire Apple for creating whatever it is that makes people spunk their cash on its products. There was no other shop in Westfield where people were queueing to buy stuff.
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These technical cuntings are always amusing. First of all the Geeks and enthusiasts have their say. Then, later on, after becoming sufficiently emboldened, the Luddites come on to the scene.
😊
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I think I’ve probably got one foot in each camp. I’ve got three iPads. One for Percy, one for IsAC and one for porn.
I’ve also got one Chi-pad, a Chinese Teclast Android.
It’s not because I like donating money to Apple but being housebound, it’s just become a hobby.
However, I’m lost when things become too technical. iTunes sucks.
3
I’m a absolute fanatic when it comes to apples but I only eat them after they’ve been left in the freezer for a few days…..proper hard-core….
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Superbly cunted! Perhaps worth pointing out that Apple’s OS is based on UNIX – like Linux and FreeBSD – and any machine ought to be able to run it. No experience of laptops, bar an Acer notebook, but my cheapo Packard Bell desktop is now into its 12th year, running Mint. If it does the job, it’s fine by me, why pay through the nose?
3
I only get apple kit if it’s bought as a present (phone, by ex, so she could talk on cheesy-wotsit (or something) free of charge), or second-hand (yes !! from plonker friends of landlord, who indeed feel obliged to upgrade every time apple feel they’re short of a bob or two…).
I also have a very old mac, which doesn’t half give me the horn, especially when I think of Charlotte Cathedral wearing it… It also has fluid-proof functionality.
3
Oh and isn’t Apple the name bequeathed on one of the spawn of the preposterous Gwynnie and fey wanker Chris Martin?
Self-absorbed twats. The likes of Frank Zappa or Ringo would never do that……
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The only use for ‘real’ Apple products are in the print/design industry as they have been standard, along with third party applications such as Quark, Photoshop, etc., for more than thirty years.
iphones are designed to be almost impossible to repair, the battery is fixed and cannot be replaced by the consumer, and all this is just a cynical ploy by the cunts at Apple to keep customers with problems tied to Apple’s own service tech.
Fuck knows why they are so adored.
I’ve never bought a mobile though, never needed to, and the two phones I have, (both Android) an LG G4 which I found at the tip I only use for free wifi, and a Samsung Galaxy that was also found at the tip is used for PAYG phone calls. The money saved was turned into beer.
Fuck ’em.
2
Steve Jobs – like that other piece of dogshit Bill Gates – was an e-turd selling overpriced products to Moonie-like devotees. He once summarily fired some employees and when one of them said they should be given at least two weeks’ severance pay as notice, he said, “OK but the notice is retroactive from two weeks ago.”
1
I think it would be a lot easier if the logo wasn’t an apple but a huge cunt. You’d then go to the cunt store. This would remove all possible doubt.
And let’s not forget Tesla – Elon cunt seems to think it’s the new apple. They shouldn’t bother with a self driving car. They’ve pretty well cornered the market for self cunting cars. If any car is a cunt magnet it’s a Tossler! No need for batteries. They run on pure cunt.
I’ve heard of tosslers catching fire. I can only image some cunt gets in one holding a japseyephone. That much pure cunt in a confined space!
2
is there any truth in a rumour i heard that mobile phone makers place a small lump of lead in their phones , well hidden away, to create an illusion that they are somehow more substantial?
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I’ve realised I forgot to mention their “Genius” bar.
Which has got to be one of the most pretentious fucking names for a shop assistant that I can think of.
More often that not an obese neck-bearded young man, who probably masturbates to hentai.
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Talking of unnecessary bells and whistles and consumer electronics, since when did CD players ONLY operate from the remote which I have left in the kitchen and which is actually further away than the player than I am? And who says a menu-driven digital increment for every function is better than a good old turny knob? (Just bought the fkn thing. Still, I now know what cunters are moaning about on the radio as it has dozens of DAB options, all crap)
When I have got used to the bastard, I may well cunt it properly.
1
I have a beautiful top of the range abacus, and joy of Joy’s it doesnt do faeces book or twatter
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