I’d like to nominate selfish public bench users. Three types :
1) the cunts who lie on the bench
2) the cunts who sit in the middle and spread their arms out to ensure no one else sits there
3) the cunts who perch on the back of the bench with their dirty stinking feet on the seat, normally scummy teenagers who do this
Cunts one and all.
Nominated by Mystic Maven
Indonesian public seats are made out of 6” pipe, it’s uncomfortable and hard to sit on and only a circus performer could lie on it. This design is one of the few useful legacies the Dutch left behind.
11
Selfish public bench users indeed but I should talk after mistakenly drunk pissed on one after a late night of drinking. The thing was absolutely covered in my stinky yellow piss after all those whisky shots and beers I had
This was several years ago tho when i lived in the city, fuck couldn’t imagine what a fine like that would cost nowadays
7
The Somalian’s will start realising that they can use the public bench to have a shit on.
Poor ‘Betty and Clive’ who the bench is named after would be most upset.
Piss off.
9
Anyone here a fan of Belgian beer? God knows I am, sipping on some good tripel ale right now
If you are looking for something tasty to try might I recommend St Bernardus abt 12 trappist abbey beer bought 7 of them when I saw they were on clearance, now i’m kicking myself I didn’t buy more of them fucking really good stuff and its high abv 10% too
9
Belgian beer is good stuff Titslapper, I went to a Belgian pub in London a while back and acting typically British I was swigging the stuff back like you would with a normal pint. After abaaaaaht 6 beers mostly around 12% I was wasted and had to get some coke to sort myself out… Those were the days, now I am acting more grown up and the rock and rolling had to stop… I had two strong Whiskey and cokes last night and woke up with a slight hangover… What a lightweight cunt I have become.
8
I’m a fan of all beer but the Belgian beers are really good, they are just a bit expensive is all Hangovers are certainly no fun b&w, tho I rarely get them myself tho I pace myself like a old victorian gentleman when drinking had that beer, a aloha wallbanger, a whisky wallbanger last night I felt just fine I don’t care for getting blackout drunk I like to enjoy my buzz
Can’t even imagine what the scummy drug dealers cut cocaine with nowadays b&w use to be fairly pure in the 90’s glad I never got too addicted to that shit Had a few good experiences with it and the bad an thats that
4
I would never sit on a park bench for fear that one of The Gays wearing a Forrest Gump mask sat down next to me,offered me a pick from his box of Milk Tray sweeties laced with Rohypnol and Poppers, and then molested me.
It’s what they do….”life is like a box of chocolates,you never know what you’re gonna get” indeed…I think that I can guess perfectly well just what I’d “get”.
Fuck Off.
16
I,of course,have a shooting stick which I use to rest my arse on while the Beaters drive the pheasants towards The Guns.
8
There the same selfish cunts that put their feet up on the opposite seat on a train or bus and look indignant when you want to sit there.
10
Yes – some cunt sitting next to me did it. I told him to take his feet off. I got the expected abuse. However, the daft cunt had his SIA badge proudly displayed on his arm. Not sure if he is still a member after I told them all about it (with a few embellishments). Stoopid cahnt.
6
Saw an oik doing that once at Karakatta station, when a veteran nurse and her merchant marine husband (could tell from their blazers) having just buried a friend, asked him to remove his feet from the priority seats. Upon refusing the lady set about his shins with her cane. The whole carriage gave her a standing ovation and the oik slinked off and departed at the next station.
9
My deceased father ex military proper old school immaculate turn out shirt shoes the lot worked on the railway in Portsmouth , saw some cunt with his feet on the seat so he told him to get them off and we he said something he was serious so matey took his feet off. As the train was pulling out of the station knobhead leans out the window and as the train approaches my dad says “I’ll get you ya fat ginger wanker” to which my dad replied “well here’s something to remind you of me then” and promptly put him flat on his arse in the carriage with a right hander. Knobhead never “got him”
Old School ways need to make a return.
Still Miss my old man.
8
Great cunting. I cannot abide these fuckers. On a similar note, I cannot stand selfish public transport seat fuckers, the ones who:
a/ Sit on the first seat of a two seater on a bus and put their fucking bag on the seat closest the window, in a vain attempt to put off anyone sitting next to them and deter anyone from asking them if they can.
b/ Put their shit-caked trainers up on the seats facing them on a train, then plug themselves into their mobile phone or iPod, faking being asleep so nobody will sit opposite them, selfish cunts.
What is wrong with some people? It is the height of arrogance to do this shit. The London Underground is rife with this cuntery. The other thing that steams my tits are the dirty, lazy fat turds who leave their food wrappers (usually McDonald’s) and drinks bottles/cans on the seats when there are rubbish bins EVERYWHERE, both on the station platforms and on the streets. They are too fucking bone idle to take their shit and dump it.
AND let’s not forget the arseholes in airports, laying across the departure lounge seating to have a bloody kip, usually with their shoes off and their stinking, honking feet polluting everyone’s air with the distinct aroma of ‘eau de fromage’…..yet again, the world revolves around their wants and needs, selfish cunts.
THE PUBLIC FUCKING SUCK!!
25
Those fuckers who put their bags next to them, as they are obviously too fucking ‘special’ to have anyone sit next to them, boil my piss too.
Having got on a train a while back, (I try to avoid them if I can), it was packed out, and having shuffled along the carriage for a bit, saw a cunt sitting with his bag taking the seat next to her. I asked if she could move her bag so I could sit down, to which she rolled her eyes, and ignored me, to which I asked if I could see the ticket she had purchased for her bag to have its own seat. This embarrassed her enough to move it.
What does it have to come to that though? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m never that overjoyed by having some cunt sit next to me, especially as the likelihood will be that said person is either stinky or crazy or both. But I still won’t be an ignorant fuck and take up the seat with bag or coat, you just have to accept that the trains never have enough seats, and people need to sit.
3
Knowing the stinking arses that man an airport deck seat I would rather sleep standing than put my face 6 inches to that bench. Even fleas would jump that.
0
Reminds of a incident in my neck of the woods where some immigrant cunt successfully sued the council because he sat on a park bench despite a sign saying “Wet Paint”
He sued because – according to his lawyer – he couldn’t speak or read English, and therefore the park management should have made concessions to include most other languages on that sign given that the park was in the public realm
He won something like £550 in damages!
7
Bastard immo cunt! Tough shit if he can’t read English. The magistrate should have deported the cheeky foreign wanker.
Cunt.
14
That’s ridiculous! By the same logic an illiterate person could sue for not being able to read the sign.
Clown world Britain. Immigrants first, Brits second.
6
My thoughts too.
What about blind people? Should the sign be in braille too?
4
I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
4
I bet he has an Encyclopedic knowledge of the benefits system and Human Rights laws though, or at least his taxpayer funded lawyer and interpreter does.
8
That’s a given.
Most people use Wikipedia if they want information on something or other; but these immicunts have their own site called “Gimmepedia”
7
I have just bought a rack of BBQ ribs from Morrison’s which contains the warning that the product contains bones! It has occurred to me that it could be used to our advantage; all food should contain the instruction ‘Masticate at least ten times between each mouthful ‘.
3
Second? We’re a lot further down the list than that.
5
If the paint was black, they could have said ‘Prove it, you fucking Congo cunt!’
Doesn’t ‘speaky engerleesh’ but knows enough to sue?
Just fuck off… They can all fuck off… Human fucking filth…
9
These are the sort of savages that Tesco have to put signs up for… Signs like ‘These Daffodils are flowers and not vegetables to be eaten’… These gimmigrant cunts are laughing at every decent person in the UK – past and present – who has worked hard all their lives and paid in… They are mocking everything our grandfathers fought for in the war… They are pissing on the Union Jack and hardly any cunt seems to mind…
12
Immicunt gets a council tax bill “Errr, me no understandy. Not for me; me different. me have nothing. Not even family. I am immigrant”
Immicunt gets various benefits “Mmm, yes that is for me. I need yes. I deserve. Gimme more of your money. I need now. I have children. I want them here. Costs money. I have none. Give me more!”
7
Just answered the front door to a monosyllabic booshka-booshka delivering about a stone of Maccypoos to the resident Romanian gyppo. As I had no desire to speak to the latter (unflushable rancid turd that he is), I just opened the door, and chucked the bag on the floor. Was overcome with the stench of stale sweat, total lack of hygiene. Am nipping round the corner for a yellow-stickered tin of Uragan D2
2
I like to think that somewhere there is some braille that reads..
‘Highly Toxic – Do Not Touch’….
13
You will not go to Heaven, JR, but your sick humour is always welcome amongst us soulless cunts
8
‘A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare’. My problem is I used to like to sit and stare but there’s aren’t any benches to sit on in my town precinct. Loads of ‘street features’ but no seating.
I have been careful here to double- space after the full stop. A la the instructions of Rees Mogg. There are some cunters on here, one especially esteemed one, who flagrantly do not double-space after a full stop. I will be monitoring cunters.
5
Miles – Maybe you can’t find a bench in your town centre to ‘sit and stare’ but if you can find a public convenience, you would at least be able to ‘shit and stare!’
4
Mind you, finding a public convenience in a town centre these days is no easy feat. (note big space)
I kid you not but in my town, there are plans to turn a disused toilet in to an apartment block. Puts a new slant on living in a shithole. The council do point out, however, that they are using a brownfield site!
3
Yes Mr Blunt a poor life this if, full of care, we have no time to shit and stare.
There is a lot of sitting shitting hungover with me.
3
Much. much worse are the homo-cunts who use the public bogs for sexual proclivity, rather than for having a piss or shit, as they were designed. How can the stink of piss be in anyway erotic?
4
If I ever hear the words ‘homo’ or ‘queer’ I always get a palpable whiff of urine in my nostrils.
2
And they don’t use their arses for the designed purpose either
1
I saw an Ethiopian immigrant hobbling into the doctor’s surgery with a badly swollen big toe.
Cunt looked like a 3 wood….
6
I’d like to have a bench named after me. It could be located somewhere in the more debauched areas, perhaps a red light district or Crack area. Simple word written on it like…’Black and White cunt hated this shit hole, but was a debauched and at the same time moralistic man, who made money legitimately and er sometimes illegitimatley, he knew naffink abaaaaaht any fink that may get him into trouble. Please feel free to have a line of coke, a shag (no gays), or shout out go fuck yourselves whilst here, feel free to fuck off whenever you want’.
Go fuck yourselves.
8
Lovely bit of cunting MM. I’d like to add a fourth category of bench cunt, namely, groups of dirty, smelly pissheads who sit on benches for hours swigging Buckfast or sink cleaning cheap cider, then stagger off leaving a pile of bottles and cans strewn about the place. Oh for a fucking Kalashnikov…
6
I no longer have a need to sit on a park bench. Just ask the cunt or cunts to budge up if you feel you must share.
0