Sumo Wrestling

Could someone explain to me what the fuck this “sport” is about? Two giant tubs of lard with breasts and topknots, dressed in thongs showing their flabby buttocks, throwing rice around the tiny ring, stamping from side to side, making a lot of constipated noises then running into each other belly-to-belly. The loser gets ejected onto a fan who was stupid enough to buy a ringside seat and ends up having a ton of Nipponese arse on his face. The ref is dressed like an extra from Shogun and waves what looks like a fan at these haystacks as his badge of office. The audience whoops in delight, the banners fly, the drums beat and presumably the tiny Japanese girls looking on are wetting themselves with excitement.

I must see if there is a women´s version although I hope they will be slimmed down a bit. I don´t fancy seeing a Japanese version of the Flabbot in action.

Nominated by Mr Polly

38 thoughts on “Sumo Wrestling

  1. I’m no aficionado by any means, but I have to admit, that the little I did see was actually quite entertaining. It was a lot more brutal and combative than I imagined prior to seeing it, with them essentially full on punching each other, albeit with open palm strikes. If anyone is a fan of combat sports and never watched it either, I dare say you might enjoy it too.

    • I saw the great Chiyonofuji, perhaps the greatest Yokozuna in the sport. At the risk of playing Devil’s Advocate, when compared with the ballet dancing that passes as professional wresting on western TV, give me Sumo any time.

  2. Women’s Semi-Finals:
    Williams (Serena) v. Pigberry (Emily)
    Obama (Michelle) * v. Rex (Flabbotasaurus)

    Final:
    Willams v. Flabbot

    Result:
    Flabbotasaurus wins it by 4 or 5 stone.

    Prize:
    A lifetime’s supply of Fray Bentos Steak & Mojito pies.

    *Obama disqualified for being Trans

    • Corbyn could make a fortune by promoting it. He could become the new Jack Solomons…… oh, sorry Jeremy Oi vey!

    • I’d pay money to see that, esp. if they’re nude and oiled up

      (excuses himself and heads to bathroom)

      How ya doin’ Cap’n?

      • Not too shabby Mr.Knee. You?
        How many semi-finalists would receive a bit of Ron love?

  3. ‘Fraid I can’t agree with this cunting. Most sports are particular to the ethnic group that invented them and are more a group cultural practice. I accept that few outside the south coast or beyond the seas have a fondness for Australian rules (C’arn the Eagles!).Nor coming from the west and having gone to school for free to have an interest in the easts obsession with rugby. I haven’t met anyone beyond the Commonwealth that has any interest in the funny old game of cricket. So let the Japanese have their fatty wrestling, at least it ain’t curling WTF is that?

      • Afternoon Willie.

        You ‘admitted’ it about 6 months ago in a thread relating to sports, I think. Will now spend the remainder of the weekend trawling back through ISAC in search of the evidence.

        Watch this space…

    • Nothing really wrong with curling, it’s just bowls on ice. And it adds variety to the other Canadian sports such as snow skiing, ice hockey, ice fishing, frozen waterfall climbing and getting eaten by polar bears. Their main problem is thinking up something useful to do in the six weeks the permafrost softens, all they’ve come up with is lacrosse.

  4. Have been to Japan many times.

    An absolutely fascinating and amazing country with many weird and unusual traditions. Sumo wrestling being just one.

    Sure there is much interesting stuff to learn about becoming a Sumo wrestler, personally I have never seen the appeal and unlikely I will ever make the effort to go.

    • Agreed Willy. Nippon is a superb country; organised, respectful, clean, and they keep out the World’s scum.

      Sumos (“Smo”) train every day for five hours THEN eat breakfast – a special diet. Apparently the Mongolians are the new Sumo superstars.

  5. Have long been interested by Japanese culture and history, (there may still be in existence a photo of me, aged ten, in a full suit of 18th century samurai armour) and sumo is in my dilettante opinion, a damn fine sport which contributes to Japan’s individuality and identity, in addition to finding a use for very large people. We have much to learn from Japan in both respects. And has anyone a harsh word to say about Cumberland wrestling?

  6. I have to admit it’s a comic spectacle and seems pretty pointless as a sport. But most sports are pointless when you strip them down to their essentials. Take football – 22 men run around a field trying to boot a spherical object between two wooden posts. Wtf is that about? But football has its niceties which are appreciated by some and it’s probably the same with sumo wrestling.

    I’m not sure our own wrestling is much better. Remember Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks? 2 ugly lard- asses pretending to throw each other around. And US wrestling is completely bonkers and ott.

    • Your right there.

      We could have an English rules Sumo wrestling. Two tattooed fat chav’s facing each other off, prancing around a Fay Bentos Steak and Horse Pie wearing nothing but their Primark Y-Fronts.

      Sponsored by Tunnock’s Tea Cakes.

      Fuck off.

  7. Sumo wrestling may a load of bollocks but nothing can be more ridiculous than Thumb wrestling, I am not joking it was featured on the BBc breakfast this morning promoting the world championships.

    CUNTS.

  8. 1. Instantly Into moderation, notified as such, ~1500
    2. Disappeared completely the next time I looked.
    Absolutely no trigger words, nothing even remotely legally dodgy, and the foulest expletive was ‘damn’.
    I don’t mean to harp on about this, and I know Admin didn’t make the Wordfence rules, but the variety of ways in which an innocuous post can disappear, and the frequency of this happening, surely merits an enquiry to WordPress?

  9. I would never cunt something that allows big fat blokes a chance at being able to pork scores of pert little Japanese fangirls.

  10. Recap of disappeared post:
    Sumo contributes to Japan’s unique identity and individuality.
    It also usefully employs supersized people
    That’s two things the UK could learn from Japan.
    Whatever happened to Cumberland wrestling?

  11. Recap of disappeared post:
    Sumo contributes to Japan’s unique identity and individuality.
    It also usefully employs supersized people
    That’s two things the UK could learn from Japan.
    Whatever happened to (Northwest county deleted as suspected trigger) wrestling?

    • I tried again, twice. The last attempt is above.

      Looks like “a historic county of North West England that had an administrative function from the 12th century until 1974. It was bordered by Northumberland to the east, County Durham to the southeast, Westmorland and Lancashire to the south, and the Scottish counties of Dumfriesshire and Roxburghshire to the north “(Wiki) is considered completely unacceptable by WP.
      Bloody hell. What a cunt.

      • Let’s see if “cunterland” gets through, with preemptive apologies to all natives thereof?

      • In deference to a rising chorus of ‘fuck off, you cunt”: I rest my case. WP is evidently antisemenic (sic). and I want an independent enquiry.

      • Peter Walker (ex Slater Walker) was the cunt who destroyed 700 years of English history at the stroke of a pen. Sailor Ted’s government.

      • According to press reports Labour are worried that they might get eclipsed in an early election due to Boris’s energy and taking apart of Steptoe on Thursday. Determined to prove themselves match fir for an early election the Westminster Labour Ladies have taken themselves off to Jerry’s Gym in Islington, and here they are stripped and ready for action. Over in one corner Diane Abbott and Emily Thornberry alternate on the treadmill and skipping, Yvette and Margaret Beckett are pumping iron (Yvette pissed off by one of the girls joshing “get yer shirt on lad!”), and Dawn Butler, Jess Phillips and Harriet Harman are busy with their squat thrusts, in a competition to see how many of these rather unsavoury movements they can make.

        But don’t just take my word for it. When Hilary Benn and Keir Starmer arrived with their bongos and congas all the Labour wimmin decided to let it all hang out:

        https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59ac7a725d061

      • Thanks Mr F. Jeannie Pepper it ain´t but still much appreciated especially as Mrs P and the mother-in-law were in the kitchen chopping vegetables for tonight´s dinner when I clicked on the link.

  12. Britain could do its own version, Tattooed Fat Cunts Drunkenly Fighting Over Chips and hold it at 10pm on a Friday night in every High Street.

    My mistake, it’s already happening.

  13. I always make a point of watching Sumo wrestling on tv. It’s like anything else, you either like it or you don’t. I wouldn’t want to watch it live because there’s an awful lot of fucking around going on before the actual contest, which could be over in five seconds. My favourite wrestlers are Ishiura and Enho because they’re smaller than the rest, and I love to see Hakuho get beat because it rarely happens.
    Next tournament starts 8th of September, on NHK (Sky Channel 507).

  14. Sorry about this, bit I have a dreadful mental image of semi clad Diane Abbott & Emily Thornberry engaged in a Sumo bout, like two planets colliding. Blllleuuuurgh, pass the sick bucket.

  15. I used to like it on Channel 4
    Of course it was just a passing fad they had and like everything they and the BBCiski go on about is forgotten about soon or later
    Airy fairy CUNTS

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