Cunts On Phones (5)

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Cunts on Phones!

UK wide cunting urgently required for the increasing hordes of complete cunts that live their lives with a phone stuck in front of their face.

Anytime these cunts are idle cunts for more than 4 seconds they just have to get their phones out and start twitching about on its screen for fear of going insane, or they’ll be thumb jigging about on their phones whilst walking down the road.

Its like an epedemic, everywhere I go cunts are just glued to their phones as though their getting a crack cocaine buzz from browsing the net on the fucking things. Maybe I’m missing something out there that is so great that I should be looking at it on my phone constantly the very second I’m out of the house?

Same story at gigs and events, rather then enjoy the moment, these cunts have to wave their phones around above their heads like spastic cunts and try to film the fucking thing rather than enjoy the experience for what it is.

Whenever I’ve managed to had a peek at these phone addicts browsing antics on public transport its aways banal unimportant shite on their screens or non important messaging crap. I’m sick of seeing these cunts glued to their phones as though thier plugged into some virtual reality machine!

Its a modern disease with people no longer able to just ‘be’ for more than 4 seconds without going on the internet via a mobile device to prevent them thinking.

Bunch of cunts!

Nominated by Cuntry Cunt

78 thoughts on “Cunts On Phones (5)”

  1. A classic image I saw last week was the Trump baby, on the ground, surrounded by libtards. They were all holding up their phones, taking photos, and it looked like they were holding up their arms in worship. In a way I suppose they were.
    I would post it on here but i’m not a millennial so I don’t know how to do that shit.

  2. Spot on cunting, CC.

    I have the misfortune of living in a monkey-house city; I don’t know Bristol very well, but I feel that Cardiff is just as bad. Hipster twats cockwombling about, faces glued to mobiles, NEVER bloody looking where they’re going. I’ve said it before, I know, but if I could be allowed just one piece of real magic, it would be an instant hole in the pavement, about twenty feet wide, that could appear right in front of these counts. They would come out the other end in either Brussels, Luxembourg or Hell.
    There is, however, a bit of sanity on the Cardiff horizon. Our local cuntcillors are opposing planning permission for yet more student accomodation, thank dog, on the grounds that a) current ones are unfilled and b) the influx of the monkeys is detrimental to the “character” of the local area, although latter is, sadly, about 90% goat-fuckers.

    • I wish somebody could kick that idea into our (Leicester) mayor’s head. Every fucking building in town becomes student accommodation.

  3. I saw someone wearing a t-shirt the other day of the classic evolution image of primates to Neanderthals with modern man at the front walking back saying ‘Go back. We fucked up’.

  4. I remember a few years ago when I was felling some beech and ash out of a wood. I had a couple of lads giving me a hand,all they had to do was shift the brash and put it through the chipper as I felled the trees. Both of these lads were on holiday from “Uni.” I’d gobbed a big old beech and was just about to start the back-cut when I glanced up to see one of my “helpers” stood in the fall-zone….engrossed in his fucking mobile-phone.
    You see them walking along the street oblivious. After I saw one Cunt force an old Biddy to step off the pavement and into the traffic as he walked along,nose buried in his phone,I have adopted a tactic of deliberately walking into them and giving them a fucking mouthful if they dare say anything. I’ve had reasonable success with this tactic…a couple of, hopefully, smashed phones,a few quivering lips and a lot of joy from “bullying” lads and lassies ( I’m an equal-opportunities Cunter) years younger than me who are too pathetic to even answer back when I give them a gobfull….although,tbf,I’d have probably been stabbed by now if I lived in a city.

    Fuck them.

    • I don’t know about ‘fuck’ the pair of idiots Mr F, you should have ‘chipped’ them and used ’em for fodder.

      • They were actually nice enough lads,BSC,just obsessed with their phones. Even at bait time they just sat tapping away at the screens,no craic whatsever.

  5. Why pay to go to a concert,festival,etc if all you are going to do is film it?

    Cunts.

    Good morning.

  6. Just heard some idiot woman phoning in to LBC, saying it’s not Muslims protesting outside that Birmingham school, it’s extreme right-wingers dressed up as Muslims… Brilliant.

    Top notch Cunting btw Country Cunt.

    • Sorry – Cuntry Cunt, not “Country”.

      Fucking spellcheck cunt! 😡

    • Just watching some footage on the BBC news, if they are far right dressed as muslims they are brilliant disguises, the guy orchestrating the protest looks just like a goat fucker…..

      Amazing!

      • The lengths some of these lefty peaceful apologists will go to is fucking mindboggling! The LBC presenter who took the call gave the pathetic bitch very short shrift.

      • Just wait. In a few days, after our supine Houses of Cunts abase themselves to the Religion of Pieces re those bullshit terms “Islamophobia” and “muslimness”, any criticism of the drath-cult of Mo the psychopath will see thousands arrested, data-raped and criminalised with the common purpose Plods eager to burnish their caring, inclusive on diversity, haloes.

      • This would be a great opportunity for a business startup.
        “RENTATENT’. Get your Muzzy gear here. £30 a day for full
        Costume. Sandals freshly perfumed. Goats optional- £10 per day”

      • Morning RTC. Seriously thinking of giving this a go on Dragon’s Den but that twat Peter Jones has probably beaten me to it. Now there’s someone who really needs a good cunting!

      • Quite so. My wife likes watching Dragon’s Den, Peter Jones gets right up my snout!

      • A great opportunity for Al-Beebzeera to hire out all of those redundant Dalek costumes, especially the black ones. Who could tell the difference? EXTERMINATE! YOU WILL OBEY completely interchangeable between the two.

      • Can I get mine with a voice box programmed with stock arabic phrases like ‘death to the apostates’?

    • Someone should inform the cunt that muslims are far-right.

      When that MP came out in favour of the parents it made my weekend. More fuel on the fire.

      • Looks as if he’s got some re-education coming, courtesy of the Soy Community. Poor cunt. Hope he isn’t tempted to apologise.

        PS. Also enjoying Gove announcing his criminal past in order to seem as democratically dodgy as Boris. Pathetic.

  7. Russia doesn’t need to spend billions on nuclear weapons. All it has to do is destroy all the satellites and telecoms transmitters in this country, thus rendering all mobile phones useless.

    There would be mass hysteria, panic, civic unrest and rioting as all the millennials and hipster cunts go into meltdown, unsure of what to do, or what to say, or what to think without their little toys to help them along the way!

    I am sure parents don’t give babies dummies to chew on to keep them quiet any more, but more likely a smartphone or tablet! So from the moment they’re born they are already “plugged” into the neural net, sucking from it daily like a substitute tit; forever imprisoned by the shite information held within, along with the constant need to tell everyone that “I’m on the bus!”

    Cunts

  8. A few weeks ago, whilst walking the dog, I witnessed one of todays yoof go straight into a blackthorn bush on his bike, he was that engrossed in his phone.
    It was a spontaneous laugh out loud moment. Very uplifting.
    Oh yeah.

    • Saw the same a few months ago when some devolved cunt in a hoodie, eyes and thumbs glued to his smegphone walk at full pelt, straight into a lamppost. Waiting for the Cuncil to remove the lampposts for “Elfansafety” reasons. I have a theory that hoodies, in keeping natural daylight from the pineal gland,.are a major cause of mental retardation, which explains why said swearing, gobbing, grunting hoodie, can’t string two words together and are all but unemployable.

      • How very true. The Cunt I saw got back on his bike and carried on where he’d left off.
        I’m sure I heard Darwins ghostly laugh.
        Next stop , a No. 26 Double Decker.
        Get to fuck.

  9. The ones that really boil my shit are those who wander across the road, oblivious to my car approaching, as they are engrossed in their phone.

    When you pass them within a margin that is just on the cusp of safe, the filthy looks these cunts give when they finally disengage from their precious IPhone is a picture. My reaction is “watch where you are going you fucking daft cunt”.

    Semi pedestrianised areas are the worst; Romford is a prime example. If so inclined, I could turn rush hour central Romford into a scene from Death Race 2000.

  10. The other feature of this disease is that those afflicted with it are incapable of thinking for themselves and need an App to enable them to get by.
    I’m surprised that some cunt hasn’t invented an App to show the useless cunts how to wipe their asses.

    • Don’t laugh, but some cunt in the Blair government actually wanted to ban luxury toilet paper in case it blocked the sewers. Yes it’s true. Another cunt, Phil Hope, wanted to regulate the temperature of our bathwater via compulsory thermostatically controlled taps, again true, I was on BBC Radio 2 in the studio giving him a verbal kicking.
      I suggested off air that in addition to five-a-day, we have a five-a-wipe policy with inspectors similar to the Viz “bottom inspectors” with right of entery to our homes, randomly bursting into our toilets, using “emergency TPOs (Toilet Paper Orders) to ensure compliance.

      • At one stage, when I was at school in the early ’60s, we were rationed to how many sheets of toilet paper (IZAL or BRONCO) we could use!

        A teacher stood outside the cubicle listening, counting each sheet being torn off, I kid you not!

      • Izal and Bronco, may as well try and wipe your arse with greaseproof paper. Jeyes also had a non-stick bog paper.

      • IZAL, very useful as tracing paper… if you wanted to copy your shitty arsehole.

        These days it’s easier and quicker to use a photocopier.

      • All that ever did was move your remnants of shit from A to B , then back again!

      • I took your advice and used the photocopier instead of toilet paper. Made a hell of a mess on the glass. Got chucked out of my local library.

      • Tried your other suggestion. The pencil pushed through the paper and stuck the point in me ringpiece.

      • Sheikh Anvakh, you aren’t the legendary constipated mathematician, are you ?

    • It’s only a matter of time when some deranged lunatic claims that brown poop toys etc are “racist” or that the shape of the 💩 resembles the Arabic for Allah or Mohammed and is therefore “phobic”, triggering riots, killings and demands for revenge/compensation/apologies/sackings etc.

  11. You struggle to see anyone under 30 not staring at their phone now whatever the circumstance. In a bar/ walking/shopping/driving its all the same. Wonder if its ok for millenials to both be on facefuck/ twatter whilst shagging these days?

  12. Probably already asked in another thread as this is last weeks news but no one had dr john or roky erickson nominated in deadpool? Found out about dr john when news broke but just found out about 13th floor elevators psychedelic rocker Roky died just a while ago

    • 🎶
      You’re gonna wake up one morning as the sun greets the dawn.
      You’re gonna look around in your mind, girl, you’re gonna find that I’m gone.
      You didn’t realize,
      You didn’t realize,
      You didn’t realize,
      You didn’t realize,
      You didn’t realize.
      Oh! you’re gonna miss me, baby.
      Oh! you’re gonna miss me, child, yeah, yeah.
      I gave you the warning,
      But you never heeded it.
      How can you say you miss my lovin,
      When you never needed it?
      Yeah! Yeah! Ow! 🎶

      Roky Erickson R.I.P.

      • I quite like the 13th floor elevators debut album and bull of the woods , roky erickson was sure one messed up individual tho saw a documentary on his sad an tragic life

        Never was a big fan of dr john but he had a few good songs and was a huge session musician the rolling stones thought quite highly of him

  13. I frequently have these rapidly devolving cunts, completely oblivious to their surroundings, eyes and thumbs welded to their fucking “smart”phones, bowl out into the road in front of me.
    All sense of self-preservation gone from these taught from birth self-entitled cunts, propagandized out of them by their equally stupid parents as well as the Marxist infested, everrrrrrreeeeeee-chuuuuyyyyyuuulllld-is-preshhuuuss, prizes-for-all state daytime crowd control units masquerading as schools and the Univershitty Halls of Knackerdemia, not forgetting the politicunts, media etc who between them have reduced them to the intellectual state of babies and fractious, emotionally incontinent babies at that.
    I drive a fucking great Volvo estate full of tools, over two tons of metal. Which one is going to win if said cunt walks under my wheels?
    The look of contempt I get when I hoot said phone addicted, eyes-down-and-walk-gormlessly cunt, often also a stream of invective that I should have the cheek to drive on the fucking roads I pay for.
    As for the Cuncils, tenured lazy “officials” and vote grabbing politicunts, instead of doing the fucking obvious with signs to the “smart”phone zombies to PAY FUCKING ATTENTION, we get ever more 20mph zones for us to crawl through, attention glued to our speedometers to avoid a hefty fine and 3 points for “speeding” at 22.5mph (yes it’s true), in 2nd or possibly 3rd gear, producing over two thirds more emissions, not forgetting ther assault course of humps, chicanes, cycle lanes, bollards, lines and restrictions designed to make any journey as unpleasant and stressful as possible.

    There is however, one upside to these, phone transfixed unguided cunts. The NHS is short of what I shout at them…… ORGAN DONORS. It’s amazing how quickly that wakes them up.

    So my idea for the day is this. Notices painted on the pavement for these cunts to possibly see. “Be an ORGAN DONOR, keep looking at your phone, someone needs yours more than you.

    • Relying on signs would seem to be optimistic. What is needed is a wireless dead zone every five yards, possibly with a screen saying “Wake Up You Dozy Fuck!” and a soundtrack of loud farting being broadcast to the horrible devices.

      Carried to its logical extreme, it should be a criminal offence to provide a phone signal within 50 feet of the Queen’s highway. Job largely done.

  14. Sorostitutes and Zuckerberg’s slaves. The useful idiots making the Marxist globalist takeover so easy. At least the menfolk will have to stop it in a decade or so’s time when the 5am call to prayer starts bombinating out.

    • Don’t forget the other new world censors, Dorsey and Bezos.
      The only problem with the alternatives, Gab etc. is that they are packed with some seriously nasty cunts to the extent that I won’t use them.
      The “mainstream” are so heavily biased in favour of the religion of pieces and the left that they are to me, almost unusable.
      As always it is, the ordinary Joes who just want to have a say, who are frozen out leaving us with few forums. Thank goodness I’m a fellow cunt.

      • Literally just this second my wife asked me to make her some coffee without looking up from her fucking phone. I would have had to stop playing with my granddaughter, which my mrs hardly ever fucking does cause she’s too busy checking her feed or whatever the fuck it is on cunt book. Needless to say I told her to make her own. She’s gone without. Cunt.
        Some cunt who’s on cunt book send her a message and tell her I want a divorce. Just search lazy cunt. You’ll find her. Cunt.

  15. These fuckers are phone zombies without a grain of common Sense, if the phone doesn’t tell them what to do they are fucked, these cunt even cross the road glued to thier phones, the only saving Grace is it give natural selection a chance to cull some of these useless cuntts in the same way they walk backwards of cliffs trying to take a sefie,they should have a common sense app, anyway natural selection is hard at work cutting down the numbers, I saw some cunt the other day texting ,with white earphones in and his hood up riding a bike no handed, now I ask you does this zombie cunt deserve to go under a truck or what, wait until a study comes out and any cunt who spends more the 5mins a day glued to the phone has a brain melt down the natural selection wins and the world will be a better place for it, extict phone cuntts….great

    • I saw a school kid doing exactly this the other day going down a bike lane on a busy road. I kinda admired his skills but not as much as I admired his young disease-free organs.

  16. I agree with this cunting for the most part but for one exception……… Spending one’s work breaks on my phone posting on ISAC. It’s only proper after all.

  17. Great cunting.

    People’s inability to limit the time they spend on their mobile phones is staggering. I was once told that this was a sign the person was too immature and not ready to have one if they simply cannot co trial them self.

    I consider it very bad manners if someone I am with decides to spend more time on their phone rather than conversing.

    Have a constant battle with my son to get him off his phone, and I have previously confiscated it for a month at a time. He needs/wants a laptop for school so I have the leverage I need to get him to do as I ask.

    Has a battered (he dropped it) iPhone 5s and was talking about saving up for a new iPhone. If you have a crappy phone no one will try to take it from you. And who the fuck needs to spend £500 on a phone anyway

    • I’ve had a mobile since 1995 and I’m pretty sure that I haven’t spent £500 on phones, accessories and calls in total in that time.

    • ”It is not known why he was in the dinghy on the river at the time of the incident.”

      Because he’s a cunt who like other cunts does things just so they can put them on the internet to prove what a good time they’re having.

    • It’s like the old joke:

      Do you speak to your wife while having sex?

      Only if she phones.

  20. The cunts that look into their phones while being served at food or retail counters are fucking scum… Pig ignorant twats who need drop kicking…. And those who do it while walking in the street and crash into people should be tarred and feathered… And don’t start me on slags with phones and pushchairs or the ones that let their brats run riot as they are glued to their phones… Cunts….

  21. Excellent cunting.

    These shitheads boil my piss off the scale.

    I am consistently almost walked into by these brain dead, mind warped phone cunts when I am out shopping. They are so busy looking at shit on their screen, that they have zero concept of anyone in their vicinity who is approaching. It is a sickness with these fools.

    The thing that I always think when I see these cunts is what is so fucking crucial that they need to stare at their phones 24/7? We of a certain age got along perfectly fine without mobile phones in our youth…if we needed contact with someone we used a fucking phone box. The world is not so different now that we are crippled without a phone on our person.

    It is a sad, sad world. I travelled with my Mum on the Tube yesterday and every fucker on the train was gawping at their screens like the thing was telling them how to breathe and move and to remove it from their hand would be life threatening. FUCKING SICK. Phones have killed social interaction and imagination entirely and the art of random, ad hoc conversation with people you meet out and about in public is also dead.

    My young cousins (all in their late teens/early twenties) are permanently fixated on their mobile phones, even at the restaurant dinner table when we have a family get together. They have done this since before they even hit their teens and it irritates the shit out of me. I cannot fathom why their parents don’t discourage it and confiscate the things during family stuff for a matter of only a couple of hours out of their lives. It is fucking rude and they are all monosyllabic during these occasions because their mobiles are more interesting, ignorant little fuckers.

    MOBILE PHONES USERS ARE A PACK OF CUNTS.

    • You’re spot on about these idiots when eating out Nurse. Couple of weeks ago, I was having lunch in a restaurant when some young women arrived individually and ended up at the table next to us. They’d clearly not seen each other in a while, and there was the obligatory round of air kissing and ‘it’s been ages’. Bugger me, they then sat down and all pulled out their phones, which they stayed glued to for the next twenty minutes, except for brief glances at the menu.
      Don’t ask me what the point of meeting up was. They each might as well have spent the time parked in a loo cubicle for all the interaction they had.

      • Mr Fiddler probably just sent them a risqué photo of himself in just his top hat on Tinder.

      • Ron, it is truly ridiculous, isn’t it? Total madness.

        I have seen similar myself. Whilst in a coffee shop/cafe type thing when I was in Gran Canaria, there was what looked like a young couple, neither saying one single word to each other and both looking at their phones. It is incredible!! Like you say, why bother being with each other at all? The ‘social’ has gone out of ‘socialising’ these days.

  22. I trust this cunting was via mobile during a particular dull moment of transport or waiting at the barbers?

    The irony of this cunting could be so profound that it has major repercussions to space time continuum.

    Luckily I know I am a cunt as I send this message whilst driving up the M1 at 95mph in an Audi.

  23. Absolutely spot on cunting, CC. Their like a bunch of Techno-Zombie’s walking about, totally oblivious to everything around them. Well, fellow cunter’s, I’m 6’8 and 17 stone, so if you think that I’m getting out of the road of these bawbag’s while they’re glued to their twat phone’s, your greatly mistaken. CCCUUUNNNTTTSSS.

  24. I mean, who the fuck watches fireworks AGAIN on a shitty little phone. Only a total cunt that’s who.

    Fuck off

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