The Vagina

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I would like to put forward for a cunting, VAGINAS. They have probably caused more strife and upset than anything on the planet, even more so than religion

Personally they have led me down routes a sane man wouldnt entertain costing me financially and mentally and leading me to my present situation. Who would have believed a little pocket of pleasure could have such a pull and its a huge pull it must be when u think of some of the complete fuckwits that own it.

And when you haven’t got your blood up they are not very pleasant if you believe the vagasil adverts : smelly, itchy, leaky in fact another 57 reasons to avoid getting to close. Fuck me it can strip the dye from a gusset think what it can do to a chaps meaty bits.

Yes, the vagina is literally a cunt!

Nominated by Civvydog

54 thoughts on “The Vagina”

    • Ah,yes… Another man’s dung-funnel obviously makes a more desirable cock-holster than any vagina. Gemma Arterton can keep that moist,tight snapping clam,I’ll stick my cock up Christopher Biggin’s shit-shute instead….hope he’s wiped well,wouldn’t want to get sweetcorn up my japs-eye.
      :

      • @I would not, you write in a similar way to Kravdarth…a bit like Ali G and we all know Ali G love da punnany.

  3. What a cracking nom. Although I must say that I profoundly disagree with it. It’s not the vagina that’s the problem,it’s what it’s attached to that causes the problems. Now don’t get me wrong,the fanny can be a flapping.unsavory,smelly echo-chamber,but it can also be a fragrant delight….it’s all down to the owner.
    I have heard some ridiculous rumour that some Cunt owners are nice,well-balanced and supportive…well,I’ve never met one. The fannies that I’ve known in the past have been nothing more than some fleshy gin-trap designed to nip my Knob until it’s unspeakable owner has done her best to lighten my inheritance tax liabilities.
    Fuck the vagina,but double fuck the snake with tits that it comes attached to.

    • As my grandfather used to tell me If the woman didn’t have a vagina, you would throw rocks at them.

    • Yes it’s not the vaginas that’s the issue it’s the cunt that it’s attached to.

  4. Another twat is Jose Mourinho… the (hopefully soon to be ex) Manchester United manager said his players were “masters in complication” after their defeat by bottom side West Brom at Old Trafford…. Why doesn’t he just be straight, and say that the shower of overpaid and useless cunts are just shite? I’m sick of his bullshit, and he makes Dave Sexton look like a song and dance man… The sooner the moaning cunt fucks off, the better…

    • That cunt doesn’t fit Man U, his style of football etc. I like his arrogance as he has the success to back it up but his moaning, public blasting of players is not right. I think the cunt started losing the plot after his Chelski sacking.
      He’s still living in a Hotel in manchester…that says it all. The cunt could afford a nice flat in Moss side.

  5. What makes me laugh about the vagina is that certain celebrislags and general all round cunts actually think, believe and expect that every bit of questionable, dodgy, or shitty behaviour they have ever got up to should be ignored or overlooked simply because they have a (usually overused) minge… ‘Are you a cunt with a twat?’ Me Too!’ See Madogga, Devil Streep, Scarlett Johansscunt, Natalie Portmouth, Lily Mong, Banana Gob, Whoopi Cuntberg etc and fucking so on…..

  6. The vagina is man’s downfall, designed to entrap, infuriate, frustrate, mesmerise, lure and impoverish. Men are cuntstruck, and it starts at an early age. I remember a new girl starting junior school, she was very worldly and forward for her age, she let it be known that you could look at her fanny for a tanner ( 2.5 p in new fangled money, young Cunters ). Now a tanner was a substantial sum for a working class nipper and yours truly wasn’t biting, probably because I was indulging in some extremely filthy behaviour with the girl who lived round the corner, ( See ? Cunt struck ) Anyway, she made a tidy sum and would have made even more ,only for being undercut by a lad who’d paid to see it and then went on to sell detailed descriptions on the secondary market for a penny. Pussy and money, it was ever thus.

    • Cuntstruck,

      There’s a word I’ve not see or heard used for a long time.

      Used it a lot to describe randy little apprentice bastards I had on with me back in the day. No morals and their cocks were their compass.
      Friday night was the big lead into the weekend. Most of em would crawl back to work Monday morning, a few quid lighter in pocket and for the unlucky ones a dose of the clap. Cuntstruck young fuckers, that would learn em…

  7. Well cunted Civvydog.

    We frequently hear next door’s wife screaming:

    “YOU ONLY WANT ME FOR MY HOLE!”

    Genitals, male or female, are disgusting per se. Vaginas are good for one thing and one thing only: Fucking.

    Knobs are good for one thing and one thing only: affording their owners a shed load of pleasure, and expelling liquid waste products.

    Unlike Dick, I prefer the bits attached to vaginas. Legs, organically grown tits, a well turned ankle, practically everything in fact, apart from the Mind. That’s where it usually falls down for me. Depending on the body, I can turn a blind eye to the mind for just so long, but no longer. Never been much attracted to the vag though.

    • What a silly bunt! That should have read “Knobs are good for TWO things…”

      Haven’t had my porridge yet this morning, that’s the problem.

      • Are you a gonna stick your knob in the porridge. 🙂 And the Gyne is fine as long as the yap that hovers above is closed. Otherwise their can be a cunt-punching in the offing.

      • I had tapioca pudding coming out of my knob once. Or twice.

        Not being funny CaliAngel, but is English your first language? You’re almost as cryptic as the General on occasion…

      • Yeah. English is the first, but coming from a small nation in the South Pacific we don’t speak the same Queen’s English as you other cunts.

    • “A well-turned ankle” !?……..Dear me,Mr. Creampuff. I now picture you as an Edwardian/Victorian gent. Do you have a handlebar moustache,a top hat and a penny-farthing bike? Do you put lacy covers over the legs of your piano which you keep in the parlour? Do you regularly use smelling salts to revive your wife when she is overcome by an attack of the vapours?

      • Uncanny Mr Fiddler, you have me practically pegged to a tee!
        Check out the video below (bravely filmed by my good lady wife) which depicts a typical evening in the Creampuff withdrawing room, starring myself (Ruff Tuff) entertaining a delightful old queen (not Sir Limply) of long standing acquaintance that the cat dragged in…

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_h20gPwTJq8

      • Oh the mammaries Dick… that was a clip from my younger, more virile, thrusting days – where on Earth did you find it? Happier, simpler times. You are indeed the kindest amongst us…

        Now I’m just another filthy degenerate like everyone else.

      • Was half expecting “Your Majesty is like a stream of bat’s piss…”

        Sorry to lower the tone, once again !

  9. If I may be so bold as to add a side cunting for shaved Vaginas… Leave a bit of hair there ladies, not the Forest of Dean mind but a nice bit like in them classic porn’os.

  10. We all have a weirdness in ourselves. I know I do.
    I like having sex with women against their will.

    Legal documents really do it for me….

  11. I have had some rather traumatic experience in this department, I recall in my youth having a crafty finger in the woods with a young maiden and wondering if the pungent odor we could smell was a dead fox, (I almost cut my hand off after that one) another occasion I met a slightly older lady with a flange like an oven glove, and the worse case was discovering a young lady who was more than accommodating did not have a vagina, but an inverted penus, (which is probably why she didnt give me the shit that all the bona fide vagina owners do)

      • Come,come Freddie. You mustn’t judge. I’m sure tranny-love will be all the rage before much longer. Best get in the back door before all the best ones are snapped up.

      • no, a trannie is a bloke who dresses up like a woman, this one had great tits, no adams apple or cock.
        mind you if you think that’s bad we had a corporal who used to keep liver in a jar in his fridge and he used to fuck it!
        Mrs Benny (future) knows both stories but doesn’t like it when I tell her friends (bit of a shock for me that one was).

    • Nice avatar m8 television was a good american punk band remember buying marque moon in the late 90’s and was blown away from that album especially the title track

      jennifer lawerance is a knockout but i’m sick of seeing gifs of her on social media

  13. Off topic, but…

    It’s the James O’Shithead profound thought for the day!

    “Answer me this: what has saved more Syrian lives, the United Kingdom being involved in air strikes over the weekend, or Germany taking in a million refugees?… Germany has offered sanctuary and succour to people fleeing this carnage, whereas we go and drop bombs… we vote against taking children, unaccompanied children in… but we sanction the dropping of bombs on the country they’re fleeing… I’ll tell you something for nothing, I don’t think running through a wheat field is the worst thing she’s done anymore, is it?”

    In other news:

    James Comey Jnr (ffs!) is a MASSIVE cunt and a big boy’s blouse.

  14. The vagina isn’t the best thing to look at on a woman but it feels nice when your in balls deep. I love the shape of a woman and nice face helps but I can sometimes overlook a ugly one if the body is there. I don’t want a skinny one either, a bit of meat on the bone is good to spank and it gives a gentle ripple and grab as I’m abaaaaaht to shoot my load.

  15. Women use stealth and cunningness to get what they want from a man. And most of them know how much a man wants that triangle between their legs. Cunt has got me into so much trouble, I simply can’t say no to it. Its their vagina’s that make them behave irrationally and drive them mad as well.

  16. I hate vaginas oh wait nevermind I take that back! lol Seriously tho when I was young lad seeing the cunt cotton pads in the bin scared me half to death seeing this blood soaked tampon just made me want to puke and nearly turned me gay.

    Sure vaginas bleed (naturally) but arseholes bleed too (unnaturally) and you can catch worse stds from them just sayin’ donut punching is worse. I agree with cunting the cunt as womens lower regions have caused me one too many headaches and blueballs

  17. Yeah my Mom left a soaked tampers on the side of the bath along with her wart cream and that scarred me for life. I went to College and became a bit of a Ho’. Found the love of my life who balled up, got me outta some stupid shit and I end up here in Cali’ with five kids and a secure lifestyle. You fuck a few dogs on the way but just make sure you end up with a hound. And never leave a tampers out for the kids to find.

  19. They cause a lot of trouble. Financially a good escort is a better bang for your buck and they don’t take half your house and pension if they decide they don’t want you to fuck them any more.

  20. If it smells lick it till it doesnt and as i met some unsavourey women at main trainstations and wandered off thinking “what did i just do ” and lucky and mrs brickbats fart valve and front cunt are ruined and we have 8 days in a hotel in Berlin and i hope she does not soil the bed while coughing on a blow black

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