Advertising and Streaming Services

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are cunts.

I still recall a time, not that long ago actually, when you could stream a movie, pause it for whatever reason, then hit the play button to pick up where you left off. Simple. Normal. Expected behaviour.

These days when you stream a movie and hit pause, what happens? About 5 seconds into the pause, the still movie image is replaced by some fucking advert which stays there until you hit play again. Excuse me, but I’ve already paid for the streaming service and you’re shoving ads in my face during a movie pause? Which absolute cunt thought up that piece of cuntitude? What an absolute fucking bastard. A pox upon your house. And genitals.

Then we have the streaming services themselves. We use Sling which boasts “unlimited DVR” capacity. Except it’s not. Anything saved for more than 9 months is automatically deleted. I suppose this means there’s no limit on quantity, but there is a limit on retention. Which can’t coexist with the blanket claim of “unlimited DVR” capacity. Cunts. And get this, if you’re watching a recording and hit pause, you’re on an unseen timer. If you’re paused long enough, what you’re watching will close and you’re kicked out to the main menu. Does the system save your place so you can pick up where you left off? Does it fuck!

I’m old school and have a pretty extensive DVD and Blu-ray collection. Pick a disc, whack it in, hit play, pause whatever and it just works. Every. Single. Time. If you’re going to replace something which absolutely works with something else, then it should be at least as good if not better. Anything else is a step backwards and a cunt. EVs being another classic example.

Techradar

Nominated by Immigration Yank.

87 thoughts on “Advertising and Streaming Services”

  1. Great cunting , Mr Yank.

    DVDs, CDs, actual books with real pages – it’s the way ahead. Idiots who rely on streaming get censored, disrupted by ads or, when copyrights change, lose access to what they though they had but didn’t.

    Good morning, everyone.

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    • ive not had this, maybe its something in the US?
      But image its a pain in the arse.

      What bugs me is my telly asking me if it should turn itself off 🤬

      And if you ignore it,
      or doing something in another room it turns itself off.

      Look you little cunt that’s my decision,
      just do your job an stop mithering.

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      • Sounds like you’ve got a modern telly Mis. You might find there’s an option in a menu where you can disable the function. Like when you get a new car nowadays and your first task is to spend an hour finding the options to switch off the fucking electronic gizmos which stop you driving normally. Good luck!

      • In all honesty Arfur,
        I haven’t a snowballs chance of disabling it.
        probably make it worse.

        Me and technology have a understanding.
        its job is to irritate me
        my jobs to break it.

      • My job is connected to insurance crash repair Arfur, a lot of the cars I bring in are damaged by the owners relying on beeps and camera pictures rather than looking at what they are actually trying to do

    • Great points there, Twenty.

      You may have heard about the uproar concerning Sony removing movies from their streaming service which had previously been ‘bought’ by customers. So the “purchase” was in fact simply a “lease” over which Sony has arbitrary control and described it as a “purchase” at the time. The lawsuits are forming as we speak.

      Censorship is also a great point. I read recently how some sketches from a Michell & Webb BBC comedy show have been removed because they’re not PC anymore.

      I was never a big fan of the sitcom It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, but I bought the DVD boxset a while back because a) who knows how long it will continue to be available and b) I fucking hate Indians and wanted to enjoy Windsor Davis giving them shit. Which they’d probably spread on a chapati and eat. The dirty bastards.

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  2. Haven’t watched a DVD in years.
    thousands of em in a alcove,
    but listen to CDs in the van.

    Missus Miserable was cuckoo for DVDs
    mainly shite,
    action films!!
    swartznegger, van Dam,
    steve seagull, Bruce Willis.
    people would say to me

    ” like your action films don’t you?”

    Had to tell them, not mine!
    I’m not into that bollocks.
    I’m Way too refined.

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  3. One of the reasons so many have turned to “modded” firesticks etc is that paid subscriptions are pitifully bad.

    Adverts,slop,adverts and more slop..

    If you are lucky enough to find something mildly entertaining a message appears that’s its “leaving soon”..why is it?

    It’s no wonder so many have hoisted the Jolly Roger and set sail for the Pirate Seas when the companies seem hell bent on putting the viewer off watching anything at all.

    Oh and Sky can fuck right off.Adverts inbetween the overs watching cricket that you’ve already paid a hefty sum for? Get bent.

    The Cunts.

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    • I get pleasure in setting my recordings on the only two channels without adverts, that are BBC 1 & 2, without any obtrusive channel name in the corner and stay there until I wipe them clean and that’s besides not paying the licence.

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    • Oi Tezza –

      That reminds me of a time yonks ago when a guy I knew who worked in a hi-fi shop in Peterborough sold dodgy Sky cards back when their signal was analogue. Remember those credit card sized cards you used to have to insert into the Sky box to watch their telly? They used to work for a while before Sky changed the encryption key. Then off you’d pop to the hi-fi shop to get a new dodgy card. And so on. Worked a treat until Sky went digital. The cunts.

      Good to know there are such things a dodgy fire sticks. Well played hackers. Doing something useful for a change.

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  4. All Double Dutch to me.

    My TV’s okay, as long as you switch it on 10 minutes before the programme starts. That’s how long it takes for the cathode ray tube to warm up.

    And if the picture’s a bit fuzzy, a good clout to the top of the set usually sorts it.

    I’m thinking of maybe getting a colour telly one day from Radio Rentals.

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  5. Just use Tor Browser to get on, qbitorrent to download and yts.gg to get movie links.
    It’s a piece of piss, honestly.
    I’ve a dozen hard drives full of 4k movies and telly series with not one single ad.

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    • @tce….if I watched all the 🎥 and TV series on my 3 external hard drives every night without downloading anymore I’d need that elixir of life potion, yet too be invented 😩… and action 📽️

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    • Sunday afternoon TV was excellent for me Sammy
      We had ‘Shoot’ made by Tyne Tees, which was the first and for a while the country’s only programme showing highlights of one of the previous day’s football matches.
      Followed by Mr Magoo and Fireball XL5.

      I left the room when Songs of Praise came on though.

      Reply ↓

      • For a while Sunday afternoon telly was awesome when I was a kid. I’d tune in early for The Big Match and sometimes catch the end of World In Action. That was a bit scary. After The Big Match there was often an episode of UFO or The Champions or The New Avengers. Something like that. Mum, dad and sisters were always busy doing other things so I had the front room and telly to myself. Ahhhh thems were the days.

        I never stuck around long enough to hear the opening bars of Songs of Praise. Is that still on or has it been replaced by Call To Prayer?

  7. I heard the bastard government are looking at ‘charging’ to watch streaming services like Netflix, the BBC are loosing revenue so need a top up.

    Just Stop the BBC

    Get loads of old farts to glue themselves to road outside broadcasting house

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    • The bastard government can fuck off along with the BBC.
      The BBC should look at the reason why it’s losing revenue and fix itself by deleting its woke management and start making programmes that are genuinely interesting rather than heavily politicised woke crap.

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    • Sick –
      I think the whole streaming service BBC tax line is being deliberately leaked, hyped and perpetuated to soften up the public for when it is actually introduced. Get the shock value out of the way over time before it actually happens. That sort of thing.

      Right now the BBC doesn’t know if you consume their shit or not. If you have a streaming subscription then they’ll at least know you watch the idiot lantern. Taxing that is such a grotesque abuse of privacy and choice it is mind boggling.

      The only reason why it might become a thing is because the BBC is losing so many license fee payers. That in itself should be the signal people don’t want the BBC. But instead of becoming something people do want and would pay for, the idea of taxing something else in order to keep funding a BBC people don’t want anyway is….I have no words. It’s mind blowing. It really is. Fuck the BBC. Not fit for purpose.

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      • The BBC know they are fucked and completely unemployed if they don’t have a govt tax to fund them.

        If they went subscription only they’d be a smouldering ruin within a fortnight.

        Fuck them.

      • I think you’re right, Unkle.

        If the BBC were exposed to the free market via a subscription model, they wouldn’t survive. Certainly not in their current form.

        The BBC’s days in the sun happened when there were only 3 or 4 channels, no other competition and everyone believed TV detector vans were real and you had to have a license simply for owning a television. Things have changed.

      • Well said.

        Perhaps it’s rose tinted glasses but the output from the BBC was decent entertainment back in the 70s and 80s.

        Not so much now,Shamither Begum will be presenting Antiques Roadshow afore Christmas.

        Leftist brain rot.

      • 100% Unkle. The BBC has produced some exceptional TV and radio down the years. No question. Some things tainted now of course. I used to love It’s a Knockout and really enjoyed the commentary and hysterical laughter of Stuart Hall. Now a convicted peedoe of course. Pity.

        The BBC’s fall from grace isn’t new either. I remember my mum and dad complaining about all the repeats when we got the Christmas editions of the TV and Radio Times back when I was a kid. That was a loooooong time ago now.

        It’s perplexing to me that license payers are leaving in droves, public support is disintegrating by the day and people are fed up with their bias and woke nonsense…all things the BBC must absolutely be aware of. And yet they don’t change course and instead, keep doing the things which are causing their own demise.

        Perhaps the thinking inside broadcasting house is the government will save them in some way so they can keep doing what they’re doing but with a more secure financial safety net. Even if they were to survive, the reputational damage is already done and the loss of faith by the public won’t be repaired if that same public are forced to subsidise the BBC through other means (e.g. taxing streaming subscriptions).

  8. I dont pay to watch anything although I do pay for amazon prime which has nothing worth watching anyway and is now full of ads, but pays for itself in fast beer and whisky delivery as I supply a few neighbours with whisky at £20 a litre with a healthy £1 profit a bottle for me, Scottish minimum prices mean a litre is above £26 in the shops.

    I have an old laptop connected to hdmi cable to projector and monitor permanently plugged in, brave browser on it which keeps the ads and crap away, no harm done if some dodgy site does infect it, its not used for anything but watching stuff so no bank details or email accounts to lose.

    For almost any tv or film stuff, FMHY will sort you out with a 4K no buffering stream with one of their many links to endless streaming sites. My particular favourite at the moment is 7movies.

    As for sports theres not really much I watch but have no issue finding rugby when its the 6 nations or autumn tests are on and for F1 I use vpn and watch it on Belgian tv as I find the sky broadcast insufferable with the woke diversity choices of pundit.

    Other options are freely available like dodgy firesticks or debrid and torrent sites but for me the slight risk of having to get a new crap old thinkpad is well worth it for instant streaming.

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    • Blimey COTI, you’re bang up to date out there in the Celtic fringe.
      I thought you were just a humble crofter scraping a living from 10 sheep on a 5 acre smallholding.

      A cousin of mine used to be a fisherman in Kinlochbervie in the 70s and couldn’t get a television signal. I don’t suppose he’d want one now as there’s nowt but complete shit on the box.

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      • Well theres plenty money to be saved by brewing own beer to funnel into the vet bills for the idiot sheep, just the other day one of the castrated rams opened itself up so badly I was tempted to just whack it there and then. Then tempted to cable tie the fist sized gash closed and superglue it. But then settled on £100 vet bill.

        I get faster speeds from using an old phone with unlimited data sim as a hotspot than from any fibre too, which means theres still internet in the many power cuts we have. Looking forward to a candle lit weekend after the solar battery is flat supping ales when this “storm” hits. Its not bad today but dreich enough to put me right off the days seaweed cutting I had planned.

      • You put me in mind CotI of the legislation which was supposed to stop the kids in Australia accessing the internet. The practical effect has been that to the kids it’s just a minor inconvenience. If there is one group who know how to work these systems it’s the youngsters today. A great many adults have however departed the net down to not wanting to post their personal details so as to enable even deeper surveillance. A cynic might suspect that restricting people’s access to information not subject to censorship by the authorities is object achieved.

      • Same here so far as watching porn goes, in theory you need to provide ID or a face pic so their AI can judge whether your pic looks old enough, I’ve heard stories of people taking pics of screens and using the king or trump and passing their checks.

        But to even avoid going to that much effort, simply search for your porn of choice using tor browser.

      • I have ot on good authority shoe is never satisfied unless there are a minimum of three fists in her yeasty gash.

  9. I’ve got hundreds of foreign language films from when I joined Film Four at the turn of the century with colloquial English subtitles on DVD blanks from the hard drive. I made sure the films had a blank screen at the beginning and at the end.

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      • It’s in black & white I recall and haven’t watched it in a while, Thomas. Think there are darkles in it and put me off.

  10. Before anyone gets misty eyed over DVDs I seem to recall adverts when the disc started playing that were “unskippable” plus a legal warning against piracy..

    I’ve just bought the fucking thing so leave me alone perhaps?

    But no,they never did so fuck them.

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    • Thankfully they were only the really early ones and the picture quality of the films was still relatively shit to boot.

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    • I must admit, I still miss the old BFI guff presented by Simon Bates on the old VHS cassettes.
      Harry Enfield done a brilliant piss take of that years ago.

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      • Oh I know what you mean now, the bloke with the Deirdre Barlow glasses who used to solemnly warn that “This film has been rated M for Minge” etc.

    • You are not wrong, Terry. I cunted that very thing a while back:

      https://is-a-cunt.com/2026/01/waiting-forever-to-watch-a-dvd-or-blu-ray/

      It infuriates me paying for a movie or TV show and before you can actually watch what you’ve paid for, you have to wade through trailers and advertising. That should be illegal. And you’re right, some of them you can’t skip. Bastards.

      Still, I’d rather have the physical media than depend solely on streaming. I do wonder how much longer DVD/Blu-ray players will exist and/or will be affordable.

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      • You are right, I think they will remove DVD players at some point in the near future. For that reason, I have bought a high quality spare to thwart the cunts.

  11. It has always been my ambition to open a 24 hour seven days a week hardcore porn channel with no adverts. Call it an old man’s whim. I don’t know about you, but having Jess Phillip’s debut feature ‘Anal Angels’ interrupted for an advert for bulky pea pants completely takes away from the beautiful and artistic scenes, where Jess extracts the last ounce of poetry from the buggery scenes.

    I would propose 23 hours each day delving into the back catalogue of Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited with an hour every evening at dinner time reserved for a front row seat at The Steaming Pussycat Club, Soho, where a bevvy of naked Labour lovelies will bump and grind in a lifestream.

    I think we could get away with a charge of 40 pounds each month, with the threat that non-payment will result in our telling your bank manager of your depravity. Can I say fairer than that?

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  12. DVD box sets of old telly series’ are brilliant. We have all series of The Avengers, The Prisoner, Callan, The Saint, The Mind of Mr J G Reeder, Mapp, and Lucia and The World at War, to name but a few. Mustard.

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    • Agreed.

      The Avengers. Nope. B&W and a bit naff.
      The New Avengers…..now we’re talking. Purdy. ‘Nuff said.
      The Prisoner. Got it.
      Callan. Got it.
      The Saint. Don’t have it but want it. It’s spendy though. Roger Moore was ace.
      The Return of The Saint I have. I think I liked it as a kid but watching it now you realise it’s a bit naff.
      UFO, Blake’s 7, Survivors, The Protectors….the list goes on. Lovely stuff.

      I have a ton of UK comedy on disc too. British humour is the best in the world and since I can’t watch UK telly, I have to rely on physical media. The Good Life, ‘Allo ‘Allo, Hi-De-Hi, Coupling, Not Going Out, Dear John, The Two Ronnies….the list goes on. Lovely stuff.

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      • Mrs Emma Peel and Tara King were in colour, Cathy Gale was in black and white. All jaw-droppingly fabulous. Steed was a lucky cunt.

      • Did not know some of The Avengers were in colour. Thanks for the intel, Twenty.

        I loved Patrick Macnee performances. What a class act he was. I saw The New Avengers before any The Avengers so I was drawn to the more glamourous reboot. If I’d discovered The Avengers first, I might feel differently. You’re right though, Mrs Emma Peel and Tara King were drop dead gorgeous. Maybe I should give the original another try. I will say the B&W episodes of The Saint are better than the colour ones, in my opinion. They just had a look and atmosphere which didn’t transfer to the colour years. Pity.

        If Joanna Lumley had had a decent pair of tits, she’d have been the perfect woman around the time she filmed The New Avengers. That voice. OMG!!! John Steed was indeed a lucky man to have worked with such lovelies.

  13. Just tested my Netflix. No such thing in England. We just wouldn’t wear it. The hamshanks are adds mad. If it only happens when you go for a piss, make sure you go before watching. The yank slip adds in subliminally and must be used to it after all these years.

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  15. Fairplay to cinemas, they have been putting out some really good revivals in recent years which have been good to catch on the big screen for the first time, despite the nuisance of adverts and trailers. Halloween, Jaws, Back To The Future to name a few of the ones I’ve caught. In a couple of weeks I’m off to see the remastered and restored Ken Russell’s The Devils, which Warners has finally stopped shitting its Christian-backlash pants over. I should imagine it would be quite up several Cunter’s street too, 2 hours of 25 foot nun minge and George from George & Mildred administering enemas.

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      • Indeed, although you can also catch sexual deviants eating themselves to death by watching a Democrat rally.

  16. Remember when Sky first came on the scene?
    ITV and C4 went mental about there not being enough advertising to go round etc, etc. Same when C5 was muted too.
    But now, there’s never been so much advertising on visual media.
    It’s never fucking ending.
    ITV and C4 were obviously lying cunts.

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  17. If any cunter has knocked one out too many times to ‘A Serbian Film’ and it’s getting stale, may I recommend a japanese film called ‘Grotesque’ which will provide a particularly stiff challenge when a gentleman wishes to ‘take Captain Picard to warp speed’.

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  19. The yanks spoil a decent foreign film with their subtitles. There aren’t many decent ones they make of their own either. I must be one of the few who hasn’t watched “Where Eagles Dare” and wished I hadn’t. Switched it off when it came to everyone was speaking English ! Wasn’t only laughable but the suspense of getting away with speaking a different language lost the plot. Cunt Eastwood getting away with yanky twang in war torn Germany.

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  20. “OK, those were some of the background facts, but the really important thing to underLAST NIGHT A TAMPAX SAVED MY” …Fuck off.

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    • Most westerns are filmed in Alberta, Canada.

      There’s a old horse trainer there,
      trains horses for films,
      plus unspoilt views,
      western buildings and props.
      the Unforgiven was filmed there and the recent Billy the kid series.

      The blokes in his 80s now but still rides and works,
      he started out as a stuntman,
      did all the stunts for Roy Rogers.
      He was big mates with Lee Marvin.

      once on set some producer tried to get rid of him,
      and Lee Marvin stuck up for him,
      said the bloke stays and that’s final.
      pretty decent of him.

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  22. Amazon trying to prompt you to add shit to your basket while playing fucking adverts. Now that’s a cunt that drives me mad. you could easily lose your house in a single and bread with some of the shit they peddle. No I do not need a 300 quid Braun shaver, I use a DE safety razor at a fraction of the cost. Half the time it’s bulk buys too, which they keep hidden hoping you will just buy it. How about putting some decent films on. I suppose they know most people are thick lazy cunts, so bank on them impulse buying shit during the adds.

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    • Never thought I’d see the day when a shaving company were hawking wares at 800 nicker a pop as with aforementioned CUNTS Braun.

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      • That’s a high quality de razor, brush, soap and blades for life with spare change. robbing cunts.

  24. Meagain Markle is said to be distressed by the accusations against her father that he had child sex images.

    Any family dos he’ll be seated at a table with Prince Andrew,
    they can share a laptop

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  26. Talking of shit on the box, Andy Burnham is on a celebrity episode of Gogglebox with Liverpool mayor Steve Rotherham.

    I assume Tatlock will want to watch On the Buses.

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  28. That scouse mayor mate of Teenage Tatlock wears the tightest jumper available.
    like its spray painted on.
    clearly a twat,
    thought you had to be borderline criminal and have dodgy multi million pound deals with building firms to be mayor of Liverpool?

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  29. Could there be anything less dignified than the Prime Minister appearing on that plebeian television programme?

    Of course, it’s all propaganda. If I remember correctly, it is the usual fly-on-the-turd, reality crap that Channel 4 specialises in.

    Andeh wouldn’t have appeared on it unless he was sure it would be flattering and portray him in the, shall we say, “correct” light. An affable persona… a tear over some misery, which all the low-IQ, female and faĝot viewers will appreciate. Channel 4 can, of course, be relied upon to deliver the goods.

    It goes to show what a low opinion these media and political types have of the TV viewing public. And rightly so, in most cases.

    I’m looking forward to the Stockport slag, our Ange, appearing on Embarrassing Bodies or whatever that other Channel 4 freak show is called. “Ere, that wun’s got a nass willeh!”

    I weep for the future.

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  30. ITVX on Sky Q has the nag advert when you pause.

    The old Sky+ HD box died a couple of months ago and the only way to get something you can actually record on is to get Sky Q but the ITVX app doesn’t download the programme to the hard disk, it streams it and by default it puts an adverts every 15 minutes and even a static advert when you press pause. Press a button to not see the advert. What a sauce!

    I have the Minder box set on DVD and on external hard drives but it’s sometimes easier to put it on ITVX. I wish they had kept Sky+ HD still going. It was the best.

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