What a cunt.
The ‘northern funny man’ is doing four gigs in Bolton for Bolton Hospice.
However, the thing is, Kay has insisted that only those with a Bolton postcode need apply.
I personally think he is about as funny as crabs. But, what the fuck is he at? Is this a new form of Lancastrian Apartheid? So, the hordes of fans who packed out arenas across the country and who made the fucker a millionaire are now not allowed to see him? I’ve heard of shitting on your fanbase, but fuck me.
Maybe Kay has done ir because he knows a shitload of Bolton yonners will lap up everything he does at these gigs. Everybody I’ve met from there watches Emmerdale and listens to Meat Loaf. But, the system of Bolton residents only is also ridiculous. Some cunt could only have moved to Bolton a week ago. Doesn’t make them from the place, does it?
Of course, we’ll get the ‘But… But it’s for charidee yer know’.
If that’s the case, why not make the hospice a shitload more money by playing the Co Op Arena a few times? Then we’ll get ‘But… But he’s giving something back to his own’. So the multi millionaire star is suddenly Robin Hood and loves Bolton? Well, does he spend the Winter in Bolton? Or does he fuck off to Miami or Barbados for the duration? I think we know the answer to that one.
Anyway, how much more garlic bread, big lights, Bullseye, misheard 80s pop lyrics, crap pop and all that other bollocks can people take? Naturally, the ‘folk’ in Bolton will love it.
Link below. He looks like some sort of fun mirror Cliff Richard.
Nominated by Norman.
It’s obviously why Kay prefers an all Bolton audience, is because when his family and friends watched him perform when growing up, it now with a wider audience makes him feel uncomfortable being outside his comfort zone.
2
Jason Manford and Peter Kay both make the same pathetically unfunny trite observations.
Manford is another bland nobody well past his sell-by date.
13
Been saying that for years. He comes out with same family orientated stuff that I thought funny in my mid-teens and quickly grew out of. What man of his age says, ‘My nanna’?
6
I still call my late Grandmother the name I knew her as a child.
She pretty much brought me up because my mother was more interested in work and getting cock from any rich guy she could.
She passed at 93 years old and I had Nanna flowers on her coffin (aka chipboard burn box)
0
How about Johnny Vegas?
6
I’ve no idea how that fat fucker’s still alive!
7
Jim Davidson OBE can now rightly be termed the elder statesman of British comedy. The rapid-fire funster is totally hilarious.
10
Think hes retarded in real life Thomas.
i saw him flogging antiques ducky darling,
didnt even wear a silk neckerchief.
i Like him though.
2
No-one looks better in a silk neckerchief than Fred from Scooby Doo.
It’s how he charmed his way into Velma’s frumpy 70’s knickers and parked his tassel in her mega-hairy bumhole.
11
Velma was a deffo rug muncher.
I can imagine her starting to get damp looking at the newest strap on tools catalogue.
0
That Nish Kumars hilarious!
sorry i meant a unfunny cunt.
same with Ade Edmondson
suzy izzard, and the worst yet
Tony Slattery.
Ive hated that cunt since the 80s.
he became a coke head and a tramp.
i found that funny.
Then he died.
i found that even funnier.
13
He put on so much weight, he changed his name to johnny nevada
8
Hated Slattery on Whose Cunt Is It Anyway. Smug twat, he was.
Mind you, I’d have given that Josie Lawrence a spanking with the ping pong bat.
6
Shaggy got the better deal. He had his evil way with the lovely Daphne.
Scrappy Doo was a little cunt. Hated the little fucker.
8
OT, but Joanne Latham has just popped into my head. Must be the meds I had today, and the weather….
But bloody hell, she was a piece.
https://www.imagebam.com/image/460a30115696175
5
I went to Bolton once..:
https://www.prestonsofbolton.co.uk/
Been paying ever since..😩
4
I remember the advert, Doc,
‘The diamond centre of the north..’
3
White gold 0.7 CT – £70.
Four weeks wages..😂
2
in the header pic peter is wearing a little cap.
i like a fat lad in a hat
makes em look dead cheerful.
they can pull it off.
Any hat,
dunno if its because they have very round heads?
but you put a big day out at ascot hat with cherries on it on a fat lads nut?
looks fantastic.
probably eat the cherries though..
1
Should have let the rats die..☠️
https://www.gbnews.com/news/migrant-crisis-channel-migrants-hospitalised-boat-capsize-rescue-boulogne
7
Oh dear.
How sad.
Never fucking mind.
3
😂😂😂😂😂 let the rats sink
3
Some good news on the comedy front, tommys sweetheart Rosie Jones has had her comedy “OK doing a lot of heavy lifting” series cancelled.
The main reason was it took four hours for that spàcca to stutter out one line of dialogue..
She would get more laughs serving scolding hot soup to labour politicians.
8
Her bra is doing a lot of heavy lifting too, Bz.
It’s the stuttering that keeps the wolf from the door, as it were.
As soon as the drool catches the stage lights and starts to glisten, I can’t contain myself.
5
You are a deeply disturbed person Thomas.
That’s probably why you fit in so well here.
My social filter hasn’t so much developed a faulty valve recently as failed totally, and it’s only a matter of time before I plow into a gaggle of shoppers at the full four mph, leaving carnage in my wake amongst the fresh fruit.
3
My shopping experience yesterday was less than pleasant.
Apparently, when seated on my scooter, I am invisible.
The horn is laughable, I make more noise farting. I need an external hooter, preferably one that sounds like Brian Blessed, but instead of
” Flash is alive?”
It needs to say
” Shift, dozy cunt!”
6
Crabs are an endless source of humour when you find out your mate has em.
Peter Kay is nowhere near as funny as crabs.
2
Reminds me of a hilarious tale about the band Faces.
Rod Stewart somehow dodged it, as he was shagging Britt Ekland at the time. But the other Faces caught crabs off some groupie slag. Ronnie Lane caught them off a towel used by Ronnie Wood, and Ian McLagan used this German crabs cream, and it turned his eyebrows and pubes bright purple. Best one was drummer Kenney Jones. Ken caught them too. So, what he did – on the advice of a Faces roadie – was pour whiskey mixed with sand on his knob and knackers. The reasoning being the crabs would get pissed and throw rocks at each other.🤣
7
I never thought he was funny, and I come from that part of the world. i watched one of his shows on television, I remember he had an ice cream van, and I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to be laughing at.
1
Something strange happened in the early 2000s. Peter Kay disappears for 10 years, does a few charity shows to gain sympathy presumably to stand him in good stead if a court case comes up.
Stand up routine consists of:
Garlic Bread.
Garlic nan – “it’s the future!”.
Rola-Cola – “Me mum used to buy cheap pop”.
Getting his tie stuck in a VHS recorder.
How many young people get that reference now?
He treated Daniel Kitson (Spencer) very badly and pixelated him out of reruns of Phoenix Nights because he dared to say that he got some cheap laughs in Series 2 with the Asian chefs (‘Ant and Dec’). I liked Dave Spikey and I think Paddy McGuinness is OK.
How does he actually make money?
Nobody buys DVDs any more and you can buy them in charity shops.
No channels repeat That Peter Kay Thing, Phoenix Nights or Max and Paddy’s Road to Nowhere.
I hate the way he puts Peter Kay’s… in front of everything he does.
Just fuck off you Alf Roberts lookalike. You don’t make me laugh any more.
1