Mobility Scooters


Not content with bowling less able bodied persons over into the gutter in their quest for total pavement Blitzkrieg we now have next generation scooters equipped to enable shit weasels to turn the nice quiet road to the shops into a murderous modern chavvy Circus Maximus..

BBC News?

When will be safe?

Oven.

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

96 thoughts on “Mobility Scooters

  1. Fat cripples should be offered roller skates before expensive mobility vehicles.

    Itd increase their popularity with the general public.

    People wouldn’t resent them so much after seeing some John Candy lookalike
    Shouting ” i cant stop!”
    Before going over a car bonnet and dropping the cakes they just bought.

  2. If one of you fat bastards decides to sell fake shite from a suitcase, like they used to, you can always escape on one of these lazy cunts get arounds. Presumably if there’s still a Bobby on the beat trying to chase you. Getting away and causing an accident would be a piece of piss.

  3. I had a customer once who was bed-bound. I don’t know if she was one of these fat shut-ins but her husband used to go into the bedroom and shout through to me standing by the front door what she wanted doing in the garden. Ocassionally I’d hear her old croaky near-death voice but I started to think she didn’t really exist and it was just him Norman Bates style in a Victorian nightie.

    • Definitely him LL.
      Split personality.

      Your lucky to of escaped alive.
      Bet hed got photos of you all over the bedroom.
      An some of your welly socks hed stolen for sniffing while dancing in front of the mirror.

      • Probably candid photos of me in the garden too Mis, taking a sly piss behind the laurel.

  4. These transport vehicles should have put down names on them that can’t be easily removed and ridiculing the driver for using it when it isn’t necessary.

    I’d like to see a slim user wearing a tracksuit and when asked why they where sitting in it, I hoped the answer would be because they couldn’t get there any quicker.

    • Im cooking tater hash Sammy.
      Bet you haven’t had that in years.
      Since you left Manchester.

      Are you down south?
      Dont do it down there.
      Not proper anyway.

      • Haven’t had tater ‘ash in ages, Mis, due to wanting to stay slim now I’m getting on a bit and and to avoid wheelchairs and some motorised vehicles I wouldn’t be seen dead in. Fruit is the best thing to stay mobile.

      • Is tatty ‘ash a type of northern version of potatoes dauphinoise?

  5. It should be written in the contract when damaged vehicles go to the crusher, the owners must still be in them.

  6. Thing is, most of the fat fucks who use these things can bloody walk.

    They career around town centres like they are racing drivers.
    Yet, they hop on and off the damn things.

    Yer know the sort of cunt. Stupid luminous coloured hair, tattoos, a tacky T-Shirt that hardly covers their huge gut. Everything that is bad and wrong about white Britain.

  7. OT. That smear of turd burgling doughnut punching fruit picking sack of shite Zack ‘Stage Name’ Polanski is still shit stirring about the Golders Green terror attack.

    And, of course, those Beeb scum give him a platform to gob off on.

    Has it not occured to him that ragheads and peacefuls hate benders and want to wipe bummers off the face of the globe?

    Like most of them, ‘Polanski’ is as thick as mince. Disgusting creature.

    • I have been ranting about the same Norman. A homocidal Somalian Islamofascist who’s already stabbed two people has forfeited ALL human rights. What kind of a fucked up world do we live in when absolute filth like that get the kicking they deserve – and warrant that a 1,000 times over just for starters – and there are scum out there who will make a great play about how awful it was to see him on the receiving end of necessary force??

      I was dismayed to discover that the local Green Party candidate had left her calling card yesterday while I was out saying she was sorry she’d missed me. So was fucking I. I live in an area surrounded by middle class quisling morons proudly displaying their vote Green placards, so the arrogant bitch is smugly anticipating everyone around here just de facto aligns with her anti-humanity manifesto, and she would not have been expecting the inquisition with which I’d have presented her, something along the lines of:
      – what’s the CO2 content of the atmosphere now and how does that compare to the CO2 content at the most recent peak mass glaciation?
      – provide me with definitive proof of man-made climate change, explain why this would be a bad thing for the planet, and talk me through in detail the cost of carbon offset economics and the benefits this kind of a full commitment investment is guaranteed to yield, also talk through the risks of this strategy and the potential problems this will give rise to including in terms of infrastructure, energy security, defence and sovereign wealth.
      – do you believe in women’s rights?
      – do you believe in Gay rights?
      – do you believe in freedom for Muslims to do what they want in the UK and live their lives by the terms of Sharia; square the above circle
      – what’s your response to the three “small boat migrants” who, in your ward, raped a woman on a beach all the time filming her ordeal while they spat on her?
      – what message do you have for my daughter now that there are scores of undocumented illegal immigrants wondering freely around the locale, individuals from countries where women’s rights are a laughing matter?
      – cost out for me your dear Leader’s assertion that he will guarantee a £15/hr minimum wage to workers of all age groups, and explain to me as a small business owner why this will encourage me to employ inexperienced young people if they’re costing me a fortune to employ, and how this is going to play out in terms of unemployment figures and inflation.

      And I’d have heckled her with a few more facts and rational observations as the sound of her hessian sandles receded down the road

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