Recycling Crap

is a cunt.

Our ever vigilant bunch of old women in government, local and national, are concerned that “recycling” remains stubbornly at 45%, where it has been for several years, so they have come up with a ripping new wheeze: From March 31st paper must be separated from cardboard, but hand on – what about those flimsy post cards we sometimes receive from exotic locations like Southend, or even somewhere more exotic like Luton?. Those sometimes very thick paper adverts insurance companies like to send out. Paper sack or cardboard sack?. What a decision to make – fuck it, let’s just dump everything in a black plastic sack and then recycling will fall. I couldn’t be bothered to fuck about and I doubt many people will:

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Nominated by W.C. Boggs.

83 thoughts on “Recycling Crap

  1. I think there’s only newspaper that is paper anymore and can still be used to wipe your arse on. Whereas glossy magazines have a latex finish to preserve them. Carry on ladies, you are stuck with your 45%.

    • Only the wealthy can afford to wipe their arses on newsprint these days. Anybody who could make a iPad that you could wipe your arse on would make a killing.

  2. Does that mean you will be getting yet another, different coloured recycling bin?

    An additional 30 million bins (one for every household) which are made of plastic and can’t be recycled.

    Have they thought this one through?

  3. Mrs Twatt and I are going to identify as members of the travelling community since they will be exempt from the new recycling rules.
    Expecting Pikeys to recycle their shit would be racist.

    Good morning and bollocks to everything.

  4. Whenever I see a modern, suburban road on English telly, there are at least 3 different coloured bins outside each house.

    It looks like a fucking mess!

    If each house only has 2 bins on average then the total is 60 million.
    Then there are all the businesses.

    The bins break eventually and I can’t even imagine the size of landfill that would be needed to get rid of them.

    Who manufactures the bins?
    I want to buy shares in the company.

    • Recycling is bullshit.
      A racket.
      Whyd you think the mafia in America got into waste management?
      Huge amount of money involved and plenty opportunities to scam.

      I have a full time job already.
      If they want me to spend countless hours sorting out shite they can pay me.
      Until then i just toss whatever I want into any colour bin.

      • The recycling scam was when you used to take the 10P deposit bottle down to the newsagents and you mate would nick it back from the back yard 😏

      • You are of course correct. There are now ‘ re-cycling points that can be traded in much the same way that co2 points were manipulated. Re-cycling plants can sell polnts to polluting co. as off sets
        . A racket

      • I can’t seem to get this bullshit out of my missus’ head. She will do all this crap – even washing out bean cans and the like before slipping it in the “right box”.
        As far as I’ m concerned there is a fucking big rubbish wheely bin out back where I put ALL THE RUBBISH …

  5. Decades ago when living in London, there were plastic transparent bags you put everything in. I used to walk past neighbours and see they hadn’t washed out their tins and bottles. The dirty bastards.

      • We have a box for recycling glass.
        This is our Council’s guidance on the subject.

        Yes please…
        Glass bottles
        Glass jars
        Non-food bottles such as perfume, aftershave and face creams.

        No thanks…
        Food remains ( duh!)
        Drinking glasses
        Pyrex dishes
        Plate glass
        Mirror glass
        Light bulbs and tubes
        Vases.
        We can’t recycle the items above because they have a different composition and can’t go through the same recycling process. For example Pyrex is heat resistant and has a different melting temperature to a beer bottle. This can cause imperfections in the new recycled glass.
        And absolutely no broken potentially dangerous shards, or they’ll leave the fucking lot.
        No drinking glasses or vases?
        WTF? Glass is fucking glass and if their machinery/personnel aren’t up to the task, then it’s no fault of mine, the slack bastards.
        I pay enough taxes to expect an exemplary service, but if they can’t be arsed then nor can I.
        Cunts.

  6. Occasionally the bin men fail to collect our recycling bin, when that happens and I complain they make a separate trip in whatever vehicle is handy to make the late collection; on more than one occasion they’ve just slung it in the back of the landfill lorry – an insight into what ultimately happens to all this waste at the other end.

    Meanwhile, the local authority has started to force us to have to make an online booking when visiting the local tip; register your name, address, vehicle registration, and what you will be dropping at the tip, for each and every visit you make. The result? Fly tipping is off the charts.

    The recycling and waste management function of government is just a front for implementing yet another measure of authoritarianism on the public; they don’t actually give a shit about the environmental value of what they’re imposing on us.

  7. This recycling lark is an odd business.
    Either the lazy cunts at the recycling centre want you to do all the work for them, or sometimes, the opposite.
    I saw something in the telly years ago about some recycling plant. A rather serious looking man in a white coat held up a mayonnaise bottle and solemnly declared that it couldn’t be recycled because it was ‘contaminated’ with mayonnaise.
    In other words, you are expected to use your own hot water and detergent to clean out every last trace.
    Fuck off!
    Then I heard of other councils that won’t accept wet cardboard in their bins.
    We all know that the best way to get a large cardboard box into a bin is to let it get soaked in the rain first, but they won’t allow it.
    Can’t be recycled, apparently.
    Which is odd, because I thought they pulped cardboard in steaming hot water?
    Anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. My local council got busted a few years back for sending all their recycling to landfill to save money.
    I suspect most others are too.
    Fuck ‘em!

  8. What I loved about the recycling strategy in Scandinavia was the complete lack of waste.

    All drinks bottles and cans have a deposit that can be reclaimed at the supermarket checkout, once you have returned your empties into the machine at the entrance. Hence the fact you will rarely see a bottle or can left in the street.

    All supermarkets have a recycling point for old newspapers, clothes, shoes and electronics. Therefore the only stuff that goes in the bin is packaging and a tiny bit of food waste, like potatoes peelings.

    The bin bags are made of paper and have a fill line. Go past this and the bin men won’t take it. Ditto if they find a bottle in there.

    All bin bags are taken to the local district heating plant to be burned as fuel for the local heating / power network.

    All of this is obviously achievable. It just requires pride in one’s environment.

    • Exactly the opposite here Odin.
      There are community bins spaced out down every street.

      In rural areas there will be a couple in strategic places and in summer, with more people here they will put out more.

      The bin lorries come every night, including holidays and empty the bins.

      The workers don’t even need to get out of their lorries on most occasions, the truck are fitted with lifts that haul up the entire bin, empty it and then put it back in place.

      If you have big crap to get rid of, like washing machines or fridges then you can leave them next to the bins and a special lorry will be called to take the stuff away.
      No fuss.

      We do have the occasional recycling bin for glass or old clothes, but it’s up to you if you want to use them or not.

    • @Odin……and it only takes one bloke to drive the lorry and do the pickup. As opposed to a whole gaggle of luminous people running around like headless chickens.

      The UK is brutally inefficient at everything.

  9. I had a little set too with a council on some aluminium that I had cut up into 1ft lengths.
    They refused to take the bin!
    I contacted them and asked why they took aluminium fizz tins but not, aluminium box section, they claimed not to have the capacity to process them?
    Last time I looked it was all squashed into a cube and sold.

    • Bureaucracies, especially government ones are replete with these know-nothing morons who hand out nonsensical and sometimes dangerous advice Benny. Our younger was advised by a health visitor that she should put blanking plugs in the 13amp sockets for the safety of the kids. Anyone who knows how a 13amp socket works knows that these devices can be used accidentally to disable the safety shutters on the line and neutral sockets which otherwise are 100% effective. The kids can then poke something metal in there and light themselves up. Blanking plugs should be recycled!

  10. I don’t know a single person that saves up all their plastic waste and then takes it to a tidal river or to the sea to chuck it away.

    So what the fuck is all the plastic in the oceans about?

    It’s governments that throw plastic crap in the sea.
    Either by allowing disposal companies to do it or by paying other countries to ship it away for supposed recycling.

    I reckon that the ships from other countries get just far enough out of site before they ditch their cargo load, and then they get paid again for going back for more.

    If they want to cut down on paper waste, which is biodegradable anyway, then put a ban on companies delivering flyers and leaflets and take away licenses for the cunts that produce free newspapers.

      • The majority of plastic waste in the sea is deposited by rivers in Asia, Mekong, Ganges, etc. some of the smaller rivers in this area chuck out tons of plastic as well. Something to do with massive population growth near these rivers and fuck all sewage and waste processing facilities as per norm in a crap hole.

      • I can’t see that being a problem for the rest of the world BB.

        I live next to the Mediterranean, an inland sea where anything dumped in it would float around for decades before it eventually makes its way to the Atlantic.

        The sea is clean despite many countries sharing it, including rag head shit holes.

        Anything dumped into the Asian rivers wouldn’t make its way round the world.
        It would stay reasonably local.

      • The Ganges, the ‘ local tip ‘ for many is so holy that it can wash away sins & help the dead reach heaven. Probably anyone that tries swimming in it, that ends up choking on the discarded rubbish.

  11. Where I live there’s an extra smaller box for putting fruit peelings that go into a plastic bag to prevent seagulls getting at them. I’ve noticed I’m the only one doing this on my row, but there’s the traditional faithful black plastic bag that secretly hide a multitude of sins and anything could be lurking in them. The people they employ to remove the waste don’t care if they leave stuff behind strewn all over the streets and on windy days it’s worse, but at least it is blown away for someone else to see too.

  12. My problem with the British approach to recycling is that there’s too much onus on the consumer.
    I’d prefer my ketchup in a glass bottle. Easier to clean for starters. A sand blaster would struggle to clean out a plastic one.
    I’d prefer my apples in a paper bag, not in a polystyrene tray covered in plastic.
    The suppliers choice, not mine.
    But I’m made out to be the cunt if it goes in the wrong bin or isn’t spotlessly clean.
    Short of self sufficiency or starvation, what choice have we got?

  13. It’s my understanding that most rubbish is simply burnt in a very large “Oven” and a large part of the rest is sent to places overseas for recycling which means they throw it into a ravine.

    It’s all virtue signalling expensive government bollocks.

    Good morning.

    • Yep, most of my crap goes up the chimbly, A west wind just sends it to Norway, an easterly to the states.
      Wheely bin only gos out every four weeks or so.
      Thinks…..so what are you paying council tax for?

  14. I’d like to recycle ♻️ 70% of the UK population 😩…. unfortunately that would mean a few more bins for awhile with all the different separations needed,now that would be worth the effort…as for the council 🐂 shit i do my bit by tossing it into the back street as that seems the new fad 👍

  15. Everything you buy is in some kind of container and some need a safe cracker to open. Whatever happened to the paper bag that was twisted round and handed to you.

    • My nan used to get tiger shit from the local zoo that was handed to her in a paper bag. Ideal for keeping the neighbours pets out of the garden.

      • I tried that in Aldershot, some stuff called “silent Roar” it was supposed to be lions piss!

        Didn’t fucking work thought, the local cats are hard barstards and they thought it was a challenge and shit all over the garden!

  16. It is already like an assault course from the Krypton Factor where I live, & that is every day, not just bin day as everything is now left out on the pavement, on many roads. Just add the stench from overfilled wheelie bins that usually belong to the Efnics that never recycle anything, & stick all their crap in the same bins & a full B.A. set might be appropriate. It will be them where much of the problem lies. Ever seen one doing their bit at the local recycling centre? That’s a big fat No.

    • Sometimes I venture from my sanctuary to visit a local town due to hospital appointments etc. My route takes me down many residential streets of Victorian terrace houses. Many ethnics in area.
      Just like you m’lord have noticed that pavements are blocked by stinking bins, split bags oozing god knows what all over the place and other shite. The whole area stinks like a fucking slaughter house waste bin once temp gets above 10C. I get “not emptied sticker” if a red bull tin is found in my dry cardboard and dry paper bin. Burn the fucking lot and give us cheap leccy. Bastards.

      • Like I’ve said above BB …
        Chuck it all in the bottom of the wheely bin !!
        Oh, and don’t drive through effnick areas – it can be detrimental to your health …

      • My parents lived in flats in Tripoli, they had a rubbish chute at the end of the corridor that rubbish was put in and fell down to a large bin.
        one of the neighbours slaughtered a goat and chucked the entrails down the chute where they snagged.
        it was very smelly.

      • Bureaucracies, especially government ones are replete with these know-nothing morons who hand out nonsensical and sometimes dangerous advice Benny. Our younger was advised by a health visitor that she should put blanking plugs in the 13amp sockets for the safety of the kids. Anyone who knows how a 13amp socket works knows that these devices can be used accidentally to disable the safety shutters on the line and neutral sockets which otherwise are 100% effective. The kids can then poke something metal in there and light themselves up. Blanking plugs should be recycled!

      • Please ignore the post above; accidental repost.

        Meant to say Sartre got it nearly correct. Substitute “brown” for “other” and it’s spot on.

  17. Some tips are saying that they won’t be taking sofas in future.
    You know,
    Sofas that every household has,
    Maybe we’ll all get a large sofa bin outside our homes?

    Or…
    Maybe its a scam.

    If you hire me to take your sofa the tip
    Ill charge you my £60phr plus the £50 the tip charges me for foam going into landfill.
    The environment maaan.

    So thats £110.
    Flytipping now sounds appealing doesnt it if you’re skint?
    But then theyll say they have a new service.
    Theyll take your sofa for £60.
    Cheaper eh?
    They monopolise it.
    Price independents out and take the business.

    Then itll go up to £80
    For the environment like.

    Bunch of fuckin gangsters
    Maaaan….

    • Back in the eighties Mis, a man I knew wanted rid of a big old sofa. The council wanted £2 to take it away and the tight-arse wouldn’t pay it. He dragged the sofa to the far end of his 75′ garden and set fire to it. The heat radiated within seconds caused him to run away. In his kitchen he could still feel the heat through the windows and the glass was creaking ominously. He and the wife were running outside with buckets of water throwing it at the windows.

      • Hahaha 😁👍

        I had a gypsy mate Arfur with a small bit of land next to the railway line.
        Had horses on there.

        He said i could tip on his land for a reasonable price an hed burn it.
        Saved me a good few grand!
        Only lasted a few months though.

        Residents and train drivers complaining.

        Good while it lasted like😉

  18. I did a brief stint litter picking at a recycling centre. There was an absolute mountain of empty plastic milk bottles, it was astonishing. A lot would go out but even more would come in and the mountain just kept growing, to the despair of the yard manager.
    Apparently, a lot are compressed into bails and dumped in the Indian Ocean.

  19. Close by there’s a bin for old clothes. I put in what I used to wear about the house, that even a tramp wouldn’t wear and unwashed too. I laugh my bollocks off just thinking about it.

  20. Recycling in Scotland died with the end of the 30p by the time it finished return fee on a 750ml bottle.

    Private companies tried and failed, the government never bothered.

    But many a youth got drunk by collecting empties, tidying up the streets and cahing them in.

    Other countries have pfand fees on bottles thus ensuring the continuity of imbibement, subsidising and incentivising those fully dedicated to beer to tidy up as a hobby.

    • The deposit money was what us kids lived on in the 50’s 60’s Days were spent searching bins and dumps.Climbing over the fence at the back of the offy paid well if you weren’t caught.
      It had nothing to do with saving the environment and everything to do with buying fags, booze and in season fireworks.

  21. There’s lots of “please take me” signs outside houses. Some of the slangs with clowns make up and skirts up past their arses in torn nylons, I wouldn’t give them the time of day.

  22. Due to the increasing cost and bollocks re waste disposal my colleagues and I have gone into the waste business. Taking advantage of multiple tip sites thanks to our glorious country side we have invested in a vehicle with grab and lots of those big plastic bags that building material is transported in. Modus operandi our sales team goes on the knock, we secure a customer, we load their crap into a bag and load same onto truck. We transport the bag containing waste (we take anything) to our secure dump site Old Boggs farm track (til next week anyway). The bags are carefully unloaded placed tidily on the ground. Job done we retire to nearest pub and have a good session on the cash the homeowner gave us. Twitchy John has lemonade cos he’s designated driver. We do not consider our actions as naughty as our bags have handles for easy moving. We do not leave acres of loose waste all over fields like our Pikey competitors your conscience is clear if you use us. Our motto “you’ve got it, we take it, it’s gone.

  23. Recycling at 45%, more down to those who give a fuck and those who don’t, it won’t change no matter how many different bins there are.

    How about banning junk mail, I don’t need a fucking flyer for Abdul’s curry house or a copy of some local mag every month.

    Use local recycling points for news papers and glass and just leave the household bin for cardboard cans and plastic, simple.

    • PS my local coop and Aldi take soft plastics that can’t be put into the household recycling bin, used by those who give a fuck (the 45%)

  24. Excellent nomination.

    It is another of those things that raises an eyebrow in modern Britain. We have four bins in our area. One for general waste, one for metal, plastic and glass, one for paper and card, and one for garden waste. The latter we have to pay 60 quid a year for them to collect, which is a cheek considering the council tax we pay and that they will compost the green waste and probably profit from the sale of that in some way.

    I don’t particularly mind separating out the recycling. It isn’t difficult to do that. As we have a driveway, the ludicrous number of bins doesn’t ruin the street like it does in other places. What I do resent is being expected to clean the glass, plastic and cans out. Can’t they bloody do it? I’m sure it wouldn’t be difficult to have a cleaning plant so our drains don’t get blocked up with gloop and we don’t have to waste our time and money doing it. I have given the missus instructions not to bother.

    Oh, we also have this brown caddy thing which is supposed to be for food waste. I refuse to use that, other than as a bucket in the back garden. Who wants decomposing food in their house? Again, the Council will compost this stuff and sell it on.

    How exactly can they recycle the various types of plastic? This has prompted me to find out where the waste actually goes… according to the internet, our general waste goes to landfill and incinerators. The green and food waste goes to composting sites. But there is then a question mark over the rest. The Council’s website says “recycling or re-use” but doesn’t say how. Looking further into the data, it appears that a significant proportion goes to “intermediate facilities”… hmmm… sounds suitably vague. Would this include sending it off abroad where it ends up in a landfill or in the sea, out of sight, out of mind? If so, I’m glad I didn’t bother washing any of it, but do have to wonder what the point is, other than to waste everybody’s time and money on virtue signalling.

    The other thing that annoys me is that they have closed down their asbestos facilities and they don’t provide any assistance with this material, which a lot of homes have. They leave you prey to the private sector where all manner of con artists want to charge thousands to put a giant tent over your entire house to remove the dodgy soffits or whatever. Or there is usually somebody willing to do things in a more underhand way, for a lower price. This will ultimately mean it is siphoned into general building waste and then a backhander is paid along the way. Then people later on end up receiving recycled aggregates full of the stuff… I just chuck it in the black bin, which seems like the most ethical and affordable option.

  25. O/T….another enricher has been roaming around in bonnie Scotland armed with 2 large 🔪 injuring a couple of people… obviously he was on his way to his first job as a chef and got a bit confused with the selection of meats on offer 😆…a bit of cannibalism isn’t unusual for his ilk… thought too be from Somalia 🇸🇴 …see yous Jimmie yea want a slice 😒

    • News said it was not terrorist related, however the Scots are very different people and tend to view violence as a pleasant release from the frustrations of life, you will recall the chap who tore a tendon kicking a jihadi in the bollocks?

      https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-40416026

      Yep an English man would have doused him down and offered assistance, but no, a Jock try’s to give him 3 Adams apples.

  26. We have a red bin for paper/cardboard, one week and green for tins/plastic another. When I’m putting them out late at night, I’ve noticed neighbours occasionally putting out the wrong one. I don’t tell them. The excitement is breathtaking. Its a thrill a minute here.

    • Theyre saying now about another bin.
      For cardboard.
      You cant put paper in it.

      Fuck me.
      Hundreds of different coloured wheelie bins outside every home.
      Like a dalek pride parade.

      Theyre fuckin mental.

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