“The Talking Asshole”
William Burroughs wrote The Naked Lunch in 1959. Nobody ever claimed the old junkie was as prescient as George Orwell predicting 1984 in 1948, but it seems he predicted Two Kweer three years before his birth:
Habitual Liar, bumptious, deluded, fawning, unctuous, arrogant, supercilious , but humble, monotone boring Rodney was summed up three years before his birth, recited here by Frank Zappa:
Even little Wessy mincing through Galton, all mouth and makeup on Thursday couldn’t stop Labour from coming third. It reminded you of the Mandy Man visiting Hartlepool every four years to go slumming amongst his constituents. The old Blairites, mainly poofters who think Wes is so pretty (the likes of Mandy , Alistair Campbell and Alan Johnson) are deluded, even old expenses sponger Jacqui Smith, (dirty DVDs, son?) and arselicking Pat “Slaphead” McFadden , actually sitting in “MY Labour government” of Kweer can’t stop the rot. One minister (off the record of course) has described “Keir” as ‘the most despised’ leader, and when you think of some of the motherfuckers they have had as leader – Kinnock, Foot, even Anthony Blair – that is saying a lot.
Starmer is now totally fucked – they will let the Talking Asshole drone on until the May local elections, but all the little work-shy poofters who infest the back benches (and Cabinet) will now see their rest cures will be end up losing their seats in at most three years – no more milking the expenses system for gallon drums of haemorrhoidal ointment, butt plugs and rent boys (from Ukraine and elsewhere). The jig is up. The bum boys will have to go back to bar work and the ethnic women back to the cash desk at Lidl. Working class Keir, kow-towing Chinky loving, Muslim toadying, EU arse-licking Rodney is done for. Listen to Mr. Burroughs words from 67 years ago. He does make you want to go. You dig?.
Nominated by W C Boggs, more on talking shite from your back door from MNC below.
Hot tubs and people who have them.
Bloke – ” ive just got a hot tub.”
MNC – oh
Bloke- “yep, going to sit outside in it tonight”
MNC- why?
Bloke- eeerrr, thats what you do isnt it?
Have a beer in the hot tub like.
MNC- i wouldnt know.
I have a bath indoors.
Dont think id like to have a bath in the garden.
Bloke- it cost me 5grand!!
MNC-. So what?
I just don’t get it.
Lazing about in a fancy paddling pool where all the neighbours can see you.
Pointless.
Id be bored within a few minutes.
An it seems to be a certain type who have them.
Twats.
Have any of you got one?
And if so, why?
You must be right sweaty fuckers or something.
Dont you have a shower in your house?
*sorry admin cant do links on this new phone.
I can’t see the relationship between the two nominations at all.
Am I missing something?
Anyway, hot tubs are indeed shite.
We have loads of them here, some huge ones that will take a dozen or more people.
I’m up for some water fun, not of the golden showers variety, obviously.
But before I converted over to having only showers fitted in Casa Cunter the wife and I would occasionally indulge in some soapy fun.
But any self respecting couple would have a shower before they got into a bath together.
Marinating in each other’s filth is not sexy at all.
People with hot tubs often don’t drain the water after a session.
Certainly not people with very large hot tubs. They are expensive to fill and heat from cold.
Instead they keep a few thousand litres of water simmering at a moderate temperature, only to heat it up fully if their friends are coming round to join them in the tub.
Warm water attracts algae growth and hot water even more so.
So you, your wife, and sometimes your friends will end up sitting in a bubbling broth of filth and possibly spunk.
Hot tubs, like swimming pools frequented by children, should be avoided at all costs.
Good morning!
9
You make a really valid point Artful.
I certainly ain’t going to go soaking in some god knows how old snotty water that other family members have washed their assholes in (and fuck knows what else!) – let alone some of my skanky neighbours having been in there as well. Jesus fucking yuk!!!!!
0
A hot tub would be great if you were rich and had a bevy of topless ladies cavorting in it.
4
Mrs Cunter and I used to go to a clothing optional spa.
They had 2 hot tubs.
One larger than the other.
I wouldn’t get in either, but the wife used to enjoy the larger one which was seperated up into individual seats.
She would always sit in the same place while I was in the sauna or steam room.
The jets in that particular seat, she told me, where directed straight onto her clit.
Thank goodness for the other people using the tub that she isn’t a squirter.
7
I know the nom singled out the Labour scum, but that piece read by Zappa sums up every colour of politician nowadays, though admittedly, Labour has some of the most perfect examples – can you hear me Lammy?
Truly, we are Lions led by donkeys nowadays, donkeys with their noses in the trough, gorging on the good stuff whilst farting out sound-bites until the trough is removed.
Fuck all of them.
8
I struggled to see the link between these two noms, but now have an indelible picture in my mind involving a hot tub, our esteemed prime minister, several Ukrainian rent boys and a jock strap wearing Peter Mandelson overseeing proceedings.
I now feel unclean.
Thanks admin.
8
Whilst I kind of get the link between WC & MNC’s words, it’s a bit tenuous.
I had neighbours once who had a hot tub, they’d be in the fucker even in the rain, with some jury-rigged overhead cover. When it was sunny they’d be in it too, must’ve been fuckin boiling!
I think some people must associate it with being on holiday or something, personally I’ve never been in one, not likely too either because I can’t see the point.
4
Been in a hot tub once at a local pub (now closed of course) they held a few after hours 🍻 for some well in patrons 😁…as I said only went in the once Which was involuntary as I was man handled in fully clothed whilst at the edge, I remember through the drunkish haze the water seemed slightly a yellowish tinge 😩…. Over hyped 💩(I should have left a leaving gift) 🎁🫡
4
I find a Sauna more preferable.
3
never been in a hot tub since my mate told me, when he’s in one he pulls his trunks down, sits on a warm jet and gives himself an enema all the while others next to him in the tub are oblivious to his exploits . except for when the inevitable shit and arse pubes float to the surface
5
What happens if a chap shoots his load in a hot tub?
Is there a spunk filter?
If you neglect changing the filter and regularly discharge your weapon in the water, does it form some sort of smelly bezoar in the filter housing?
3
This is the reason I would never get in one.
The water is just recirculated and needs to be pumped out and changed regularly if in constant use.
As some people like to use these all summer long, by August time, you’re sitting in a cauldron of dead skin cells, snot, urine, fecal matter and pubes. (pubes are optional). Invite your mates to join you and it becomes a biohazard that glows in the dark.
If you have ever seen one of these cleaned out, you would never get in one ever again.
You can probably imagine what the ones in public baths are harbouring.
2
A hot tub is the nearest your likely to get to experiencing being a missionary to darkest Africa.
Cooking in a cauldron.
You should never have a bath in the garden.
As for saunas theyre ok for lizards,
And are the meeting place of homosexuals.
Although you can get political advice from Crispin Blunt in there.
And some crystal meth.
4
I bet Kweer and his Ukrainian bum boys have never been in a hot tub without having a wank in it.
0
We had a hot tub back in the fifties way before they became expensive and trendy.
It was called a tin bath in front of the fire.
Bubbles were provided by your arse…😂
Better times..!
14
Exactly Doctor, the tin bath was all we could afford, before being re housed with a proper bath.
5
The house I was born in had no electricity ( gas mantles on the wall) , one cold tap, slop stone sink. Fireplace in the bedroom 1.
Sounds like a monty python sketch..
True though..
Makes you think how today’s fucking namby pambys would cope.
11
We had gas mantles, but not in the bedrooms, we had to carry candles up to bed and an accumulator wired up to an old valve radio.
1
We eventually had electricity put in by a brother in-law and after a night out at the pictures, we could switch the light on without having to tread on the blackjack’s again, by waiting until they scurried under the skirting boards.
1
👍
1
@doc…all in front of that roaring coal 🔥… something that’s still in vast quantities under our feet …seems 🇨🇳 still appreciate the fuel 🤐
5
A few years ago, hot tubs were the status symbol of choice for some people.
Facefuck was awash with fat, tattooed blokes and wimminz posing with a can of Stella held aloft, or a glass of something that definitely wasn’t champagne.
Videos of the same risking hypothermia to trudge through the frost to the corner of the garden where their steaming tub, containing two tons of water sat precariously on their rickety decking.
Funnily enough, many seemed to have lost their enthusiasm after receiving the first couple of electricity bills and swiftly listed their ‘hardly used’, limescale encrusted hot tubs on marketplace.
What a bunch of cunts!
7
I’m thinking of all the most evil bastards imaginable in a hot tub and having cement poured into it.
3
Or, throwing an electric fire into it (with a long lead) Finding the filthiest tramp, the smelliest animal and finally the person who won the world record for the most unwashed foreskin.
2
Starmer talking out of his arse is just the same as talking out of his mouth, nothing but shit comes out.
‘We are running out of gas and oil but we aren’t going to issue new licences because Mad Ed won’t let me’
As for Hot tubs, going back a good number of years a bird gave me a wank in a hot tub, a tub tug if you like, so 10 out of 10 for the wank but fuck knows what happened to the splurge at the end, could have ended up in the chuff of the next woman in the tub 😂
4
I’ll bet these cunts have hot tubs.
https://www.gbnews.com/news/migrant-crisis-asylum-seekers-taxpayer-funded-accommodation-one-year-surges
KEEP WORKING AND PAYING YOUR TAXES SUCKERS..🤬
3
Is James O’Shithead not a Talking Asshole?
1