are cunts.
I bought a new pair of walking boots today . They came in a large box, so when asked if I wanted a bag, I said yes please.
I was then presented with a flimsy brown paper bag with handles. It felt like it would rip if anything heavier than a couple of oranges went in it. I looked outside to confirm that, yes, it was still raining ( being Somerset in February, not unusual).
The bag had started to deteriorate before I reached the end of the road. The choice was to put the box on my head like a tribeswoman, or buy another bag for 30p in the nearest supermarket.
Obviously another green initiative, although they could have saved money and ink by not having their logo and contact details on the brown paper bag. But as usual, not dealing with the realities of life.
I have probably missed the point in that I was supposed to get a warm glow of altruism for sporting the flimsy article. I should have pointed it out to all the people on the 376 bus coming back from Wells. At least I would have got a seat to myself. What a load of unmitigated cunt.
Nominated by Mary Hinge.
I think that things were a lot better before plastic bags.
Going along to the grocery store in the High Street, the staff dressed in their brown coats would wrap up your cheese and loose tea in brown paper and you would put it in your little trolley on wheels.
Everyone had one of those.
Then you would collect your Green Shield Stamps.
Fish and chips would be wrapped in newspaper and anything brought in the local ironmonger would be wrapped in that waxy brown paper.
I don’t think that I ever saw a plastic bag until the first supermarket opened and fucked things up.
Good morning!
9
Not correct,Artful.
Plastic bags were first invented over 1000 years ago.
We know this because Baldrick found a hand written note next to the remains of one on a dig once.
The note explained that the bag had been buried over a thousand years previously,in an attempt to discover how long it would take for said bag to decompose.
There were the remains of a disposable nappy along side it,as well,probably.
6
Paper bags certainly have their uses…for Kwier, for instance, to stand in in a public toilet whilst a rent boy pleasures his tinkle and their dalliance can’t be observed if any wierdo happens to look under the door.
6
have you got a video? only Peter mandelson has asked for a copy
1
Last time I was in the chemists stocking up with johnnies the shop assistant asked if I wanted a paper bag.
I was really offended.
‘Fuck off’ I said, ‘she’s not that ugly.’
16
My morning belly-laugh š¤£š¤£š¤£
Thanks Geordie …
1
Thank you Cassandra, though it’s not exactly a new one.
It was found in the Dead Sea scrolls.
1
You should of re-lived your youth, and wore them home and chucked the old ones in a bin.
2
Because I have a large amount of medication to consume each month, I end up with a paper carrier bag full to bursting when visiting the chemists. When handed my bag of life saving medications I fumble in jacket pocket, pull out a ābag for lifeā and place my by now already disintegrating paper bag into said bag. When arriving home I place bag for life on worktop and attempt extraction of paper bag using handles. One or both tear free. What a load of utter bollocks. Sometimes one has to wonder if the constant fuckwittery worth it.
4
Boots, Black biscuit, near me have only recently started delivering my medication. Any chance of you getting the same. Or do you still prefer to collect it yourself.
1
Forgot to mention the delivery is free.
1
Sounds good mate, thanks for the heads up, will make enquiries Monday next
1
Jute shoppings are the way forward. Very strong and last for years.
As a rule of thumb, if it fits in a shopping basket, it will fit in the jute shopping bag.
I also hope that your new walking boots are Altbergs. Made in Yorkshire by proper English bootmakers. These also last for years.
3
My altberg boots are excellent, the service was too. I went in to the shop in Richmond got properly measured up. The boots are very comfortable and don’t have the shite eva soles that fall apart.
2
I have their Sneaker, sneaker aqua and desert boots.
I own and train large guarding breeds, where ankle protection is a must.
They never rub straight out of the box and if looked after last about 5 years with daily use.
1
They are crap
2
when the law came out stating there was now going to be a charge for plastic bags, paper bags would be free, so a load of stored switched to paper gave you a free bag to put your purchases in. when did it change now they can charge for all bags??
4
My carrier of bags of all varieties is named Winston ā«… very obliging fellow what š
2
Whilst preparing for a charity event (something which I don`t like to talk about) the other week – for the impoverished children of the third world, the UK – I bought a whole load of non-biodegradable single-use plastic straws, cutlery forks, knives, spoons, and coffee stirrers, drinks lids and condiment packets which they dutifully stuffed into a recyclable paper bag. I like to do my bit for climate change. Or `the weather`, as I like to call it.
š„¤
4
PS, must just thank my co-worker, Ella, for her help in seting up our charity fast food stall for the day: Sam `n` Ella’s snacks made almost Ā£1.50 for good causes.
š
3
Ā£1-50 eh Sam? Well done.
When it comes to climate reparations can we now call it quits?
3
Iām still sticking with, a change in the climate.
1
You were probably given a paper carrier bag because shops in England are obliged by law to charge customers a minimum of 10p per plastic carrier bag.
Paper carrier bags can be given away free.
2
Why the fuck would you put a shoe box in a bag? I find they fit under the arm.
2
You can take the shoes or boots out of the box, tie the laces together and hand them around your neck š
1
Or over a handy telephone line.
1
My medication is delivered each month in identical paper bags. Funnily, Mary Hinge, it says Boots on one side. Besides you reminding me that I also need a new pair of boots also.
1
Excellent cunting, Ms Hinge.
Its all down to the fucking Lib Dems. They tried to completely do away with plastic carrier bags round our way. Saving the planet was their idea. Well how about saving us from the fucking massive potholes you beardie, sandal wearing cunts? Or how about clearing up the high street and getting rid of the arseless druggies, piss heads, and wasters that scare the old ladies? Having less plastic carrier bags doesn’t seem to have help much, you yogurt knitting wankers. Fuck right off,
Good morning, everyone.
4
The only thing plastic bags are useful for, TT, is sneaking up on the list of no marks you mentioned and tying them over their head whilst in a drugged up state.
2
Isn’t it lovely when shops,encouraged by some politicians,tell you what you can’t have?
It’s like living in East Germany circa 1981.
But with lots more pakis.
Oven.
Good morning.
5
As alluded to by TTCUtS above Unk, a glaring indicator of how we have taken over the DDR’s mantle is the state of the roads. The fix is to move farther to the left according to our next PM.
1
Plastic bags are a danger to the animal kingdom. But ideally handy for placing over the heads of government who are ruining human lives.
1
It’s actually laughable, the use of paper bags instead of plastic.
In the supermarket, if you buy a bunch of cut flowers, you get a plastic bag to put them in. Packs of fruit and veg are usually sheathed in plastic, blocks of cheese are shrink-wrapped so effectively you need a team of sappers to open them, and don’t get me started on the cartons that milkshakes and fruit juices come in!
Recycleable? How, you practically have to use a chainsaw to get into them.
3
As plastic is made from crude oil, I expect plastic bags will disappear completely as we run out of Iranians.
1
Melting muzzıes in a giant, smelly vat to turn them into fleshy carrier bags would seem like a good idea, Twenty.
Especially for carrying sausages.
Similarly, Robertsons could be melted to make black bin bags.
1
Donāt leave plastic bags near young children. Make sure all are used up once placed over the heads of illegal immigrants.
1
My bags for life are about to die, I tried taking them to the doctor to see if they could be saved.
He recommended I see a psychiatrist.
The yanks have these brown paper bags with no handles, cant really carry more than one unless you can open doors with your knob.
1
Picaninnyās bellies hold more with no handle to them.
0
The silly yanks. Youād need a bag with handles to carry the ones without. Iām laughing at myself for coming out with that, as though Iāve nothing else to worry about.
0
The van that brings my medication for free must take up lots of room, when thereās also a monthās supply of Fortisip Protein drinks I take twice a day, that cost around Ā£2.50 for each bottle and I get all for free by the NHS.
1
Try lifting a tray of those fuckers, my back still winces at the thought.
1
Ther’e not exactly “a bag for life’ are they Mary. & at 30p a pop it’s taking the piss. Did the paper carrier bag have an emergency contact number on it as well? Next time be more prepared & take along your own.
1
It depends whether youāre married to one, or not.
0
One of my mothers favourite sayings was āget in a bag.ā
0