are a cunt. Don’t know could be worse, see above C.A.

Has anybody else noticed how inadequate toilets are nowadays? Thomas Crapper must be rolling in his grave.

This is a technology that they perfected in the Victorian age, and yet we seem to have gone backwards. The old ones had a a flush like Victoria Falls. Lay down the law, pull the chain, and off you go. Job done.

The new ones have these pathetic little cisterns that are incapable of flushing a log properly. All in the name of “saving water” no doubt. Except… it doesn’t save water. Instead of one flush involving ~9 litres of water, I am having to do two or three flushes involving 6 litres each. Because the other factor is that they have stupid designs that try to help the insufficient amount of water.

Wasting my time… waiting for the stupid little tank to fill up. Then flush again… sometimes having to flush a third time. Plus needing to use more bleach.

It wastes water, it is worse for the environment, it wastes my time and it pisses me off.

Doesn’t this seem to sum up modern life? There has been this unmistakable sense of degeneration in all areas, under the dead hand of this bureaucracy we labour under. With its endless, unnecessary meddling that just makes everything worse and spoils our quality of life.

Quite why we need to save water in these rain soaked isles is beyond me, although I suspect it is something to do with us having too many unwelcome guests using the limited infrastructure. Another form of sewage we seem incapable of dispatching…

No doubt the manufacturers of these awful products lobbied the usual corrupt alcoholics, sorry commisioners, in Brussels. Wining and dining, brown paper envelope and… voila! The European Parliament is asked to rubber stamp EU Directive 4639854002 “Water Resources Regulation”… ostensibly intended to save water and protect the environment. What really happens is something quite different.

Just imagine what this grubby process does across hundreds of thousands of products, processes and services, most of which you are completely unfamiliar with. Misallocating resources, driving up complication, slowly strangling our civilization and ruining our lives.

Everyday life has been turned into a kind of Orwellian black comedy. As we stand there, in the smelly room, spending what remains of our time on this earth, trying to flush a turd. We are being mocked. The fact that they offer two buttons, as if to suggest that we have a meaningful choice, only adds to the communist humour. Who the hell would want half of a weak flush?

Of course you get these penny pinching imbeciles who are desperate to save 14 pence a year, but unless you’re willing to have piss and shit sitting in the pan 24/7, the new toilets aren’t going to help.

Anyway, I suppose I ought to find a link to support this, before returning to the WC to finish off that flush job I started earlier… easier said than done as the useless media outlets seem oblivious. Will this AI summary do?

google

Nominated by Sir Foxtrot Oscar.