With nothing on the telly on Sunday night I reluctantly tuned into The Repair Shop.
The programme started with the camp chippy telling the equally queer book repairer that they had to wash their hands for the first visitor.
They were then shown at the sink with soap and water, making a great deal about getting their hands clean.
The first visitor was a Muslim woman clutching a beaten up copy of the Koran.
The 2 repair gays were in awe.
I was surprised that they didn’t perform Sajdar in front of the woman and her book, prostrating themselves on the ground in submission.
They thanked her for honouring them with the Koran and the book guy set about his work.
He had to take the entire thing apart but he explained that he couldn’t write the page numbers on the now disassembled book in easily removed pencil, as it was a sacred scripture.
Instead he had to mark the pages with tiny bits of paper that could not cause any damage.
He eventually finished his work.
When the Muslim woman came to collect the repaired Koran, the book guy told her that he was really upset that he couldn’t read the beautiful scriptures as the book was in Arabic, but he had rejoiced in the holiness of it anyway.
I doubt if he would have been in such reverance had it been a Bible.
According to the link below, the viewers were in awe.
Not this one.
I almost put my foot through the television.
Nominated by The Artful Cunter.
Here’s a better idea – hang it up in the netty and wipe your arse with it.
8
That section on the program could’ve been immeasurably improved by replacing pages of the koran with bacon and have it delivered to the muzbitch in the mouth of a dobermann or rottweiler.
They hate big black dogs more than anything.
Or that Gay Blades fellow could’ve simply taken a big, steaming dump on the book.
It’s what it deserves.
Despite what he said about being unable to read the book because it was in arabic, he couldn’t have read a bible either as no black is able to read anything other than a KFC menu.
8
The only reason they can read the KFC menu is because it’s in pictures.
When ordering, just point and grunt at the picture of your choice.
4
To be fair, that’s also how lazy, ignorant white Brits order food at restaurants in any other country!
Morning Odin/all.
4
If they really wanted to showboat their cultural fluency I do hope they took the opportunity while they were at it to check over the switch on her suicide belt and tidy up the scarring of her mutilated genitals
2
Passed through four generations, that’s about 40 years in the pèdoʻ peaceful world.
Wash you hands before touching it. I would of been wearing elbow length gauntlets, while touching that. The religion of peace and arse wiping are well known.
Did the whole production crew go on a fast in honour of ram-dam-ding-dong.
4
The Repair Shop is one of those programmes which should be on in the afternoon, because it is cheap and tacky, like Escape To The Cuntry and those amateur auctioneer programmes.
That said, any esteemed ISAC follower who just happens to have the first Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (East Acton) catalogue Limited from 1955, long before we transferred operations offshore, will know their copy is now in a dreadful state because it was printed on Izal lavatory paper. I would urge them to take their copy to the “equally quare book repairer” for repair because they are sitting on a fortune, Only 300 copies were printed on an old Adana 5 x 3, with second colour overprinting courtesy a John Bull Printing Kit, yet the admittedly poor black and white photographs will show the late Vera Lynn in a scene from her very first skin flick (she was fairing badly after the war) ascene for “In Which We Serve” – no not that one, the one set in a Bethnal Green brothel, some “art studies” of Diana Dors and a teenage Emily Thornberry in her very first nude performance at the Windmill in 1949,
Forget the Koran – this piece of culture is worth thousands.
4
Funny you should mention that.
I have a vintage copy of Mayfair from 1988 featuring Mel out of Mel and Kim.
I wonder if they can unstick the pages and restore it to its former usefulness?
I definitely suggest wearing marigolds for this one.
3
Unrestored that’s worth about £10 but in pristine condition Odin about £1000 no-one could resist a good wank on seeing Mel in the buff.
I use to love Mayfair, especially the quest articles in the early ‘70s.
As for The Repair Shop my foot would have been through the telly as well at that episode. I thought Jay Blades was out of it for some misdemeanour or other.
The BBC can’t help themselves even the MSM has caught on to their travesty of an adaptation to Lord of The Flies. They are not even subtle about it, it’s like being hit over the head with a shovel.
3
Thinking about it, I reckon that it was set up.
I don’t think that any Muslim would hand over a copy of their Koran to an infidel for any reason.
And considering that one of the guys was black, the other looks a bit Hebrew and they both are possibly closet póófs, there would be no way that the book would have been handed over.
3
Decades ago a god botherer at our door wanted to give me some passages to read from the bible. When I told him we didn’t own a bible he seemed completely astonished. He departed with a stunned expression. I wonder if he still would be today?
3
I see the Afghans have aligned their cultural practices with those of Bradford now and made it legal for cousinhubby to thrash the missus.
Unfortunately I missed this episode of Repair Shit, but I wonder, was Mrs Mo draped in full Darth Vader kit? I presume so, as it wouldn’t have looked too good if her bruises from Mo’s love punches were seen on the idiot box. That’s not quite the message the BBC wants to get across.
2
The whole programme is shit.
The níg nóg that wanders around doing fuck all but is always there to take credit for other people’s work.
His only contribution to the programme is when a client walks in. “Ellllllooooow, ‘ow yer doin”
As he is the token wóg the producers don’t tell him to vary his greeting, so he says the same thing at least 8 times during the show.
The fact that almost everything that they repair is totally worthless crap.
If what the punters bring in is a much loved family heirloom then why is it in such a terrible state?
I would tell most of them to fuck off and shove their crap in the skip outside.
All the repairers work so well together.
“Steve, can you give me a hand with this?”
“Certainly. What would you like me to do?”
More realistically would be the reply, “Fuck off cunt, I have my own work to do and I think that you nicked my sausage roll out of the fridge”.
When a punter tells them that whatever shit they have brought in belonged to a granny who died 5 year’s ago aged 98, the repairers put on a sad face and whisper, “I’m so sorry to hear that”.
What?….. She was going to live forever?
There are only 2 reasons for watching this crap and unfortunately they are not on very often…….
A fit, huge titted Greek called Angelina Bakalarou who restores paper.
And the half Iranian Sonnaz Nooranvary who works on furniture.
She is a little bit coy, but prodworthy nevertheless.
2
If i was a artisan restorer on the repair shop ( and i easily could be)
And some elderly tarrytoot shambled in with some heirloom my first question would be
“where did you nick it from?
Then phone the police.
Is Jay Blades the wife beater still on it with his immaculate shirts an leather pinafore?
Speccy workshy cunt
1