One thing that our much benighted nation will never be short of is a ready supply of total fucking idiots; idiot drivers, and cyclists, idiot demonstrators, idiot football fans, idiot politicians and celebrities, and so on and so forth. Allow me to illustrate.
At about nine pm on 30th December, two (unnamed) walkers in their early 20s had to summon urgent assistance from the Cairngorms Mountain Rescue Team after becoming trapped on rocky terrain in -15c conditions. Reports state that these two intellectual heavyweights set out at six pm (pitch black at this time of year) to climb the 1,300 m. Ben MacDui, wearing jogging bottoms and trainers, and lacking basic equipment such as waterproof clothing, crampons and ice picks.
Unsurprisingly, our two heroes quickly found themselves in serious trouble on steep ground in severe winter conditions, and presumably used a mobile phone to summon urgent assistance. Rescuers arrived to find the two peabrains in considerable distress. The rescue leader commented that the pair would have struggled to survive the night in the freezing conditions.
So what prompts a couple of utterly ill-equipped lads to set off in the pitch black of a freezing Cairngorms winter night to climb up a fucking mountain? Well you tell me; all I can say is that this kind of moronic behaviour isn’t unknown in that part of the world. It certainly ain’t the first time that rescuers have had to turn out to save the necks of some cretins who fancied an amble up in the Scottish mountains in mid-winter, and it won’t be the last.
You’d like to think that these two fucking idiots would at least have the grace to feel embarrassed at their own stupidity, but you have to wonder if the self-awareness is there. Let’s face it, you simply can’t legislate for idiocy.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
People who climb peaks unprepared then need mountain rescue,
Thereby putting others lives at risk,
Should be fined.
It should be a criminal offence,
Anyone whos been in the lake district, pesk District, snowdonia etc
Knows that the weather can change dramatically up there.
Good nom Ron👍
24
PEAK not pesk District.
Although my piss taking phone has a point.
9
If people are experienced walkers/climbers, and they set off in optimum conditions and suitably equipped, but get into difficulties due to , for example, a twisted ankle, fair enough and thank heavens for the volunteers who rescue them.
Brainless idiots like these two should be made to pay any costs incurred.
16
If i was a newspaper editor id title this story
“CAIRGORMLESS!!”
20
They say that intelligence is what separates humans from the animals, but actually I think it’s idiocy. In all other (undomesticated) species if you’re stupid you die. We are the only species to nurture and protect fucking idiots, and the results of this affront to evolution are in abundant evidence everywhere.
21
Reminds me of the scene at the beginning of idiocracy when they save that idiot American footballers genitals, and a doctor is talking to the camera about how the surgery worked out. Then the bedridden footballer shouts out in the background”You put your hands on my nads you pervert!” And the doctors face suddenly falls and he wonders why he even fucking bothered.
4
To make things worse, this was on New year’s eve.
The rescue team would have had to say goodbye to their friends and family in their cosy warm home and head out to rescue a pair of chav knobheads in sub zero temperatures.
The rescue was successfully concluded by 01:00 with everyone back in the warm and dry.
Which means the rescue team missed the main event because of two thick, selfish arseholes.
18
New years eve eve.
3
999 what’s your emergency….sssooorryy we’re stuck uppp this mountainnnn anddd it’s fffreeezzzinggg…use your emergency supplies we’ll get there asap…weee havehhhnttt anny supplieees 🌨️🥶…☎️ You are caller number 999 in the queue, good luck 🤞😩
14
Morons these days think they are invincible, whether it’s driving at speed or stepping into the road while looking at your phone..
Relying on other people’s intelligence to save them..
Probably green party voters.
20
Thats the thing about youth, you are invincible.
I recall being told to climb off AFV’S and not jump! Likewise ear defenders, use them!
Last time I went to a reunion it looked like a walking aid exhibition coupled with a hearing aid convention, with quite a few people sitting on the side lines shouting “Say that again” repeatedly 🙄
( some of those with the mobility and hearing aids were the same people who used to shout at us about those things)…..a part from the Officers, who seemed to be in very good nick
9
There can only be one answer. Pissed from the kickoff.
5
😉 I scaled not only the perimeter fence and roof, but was pretty much at the top of the flagpole of the Berlin Olympic stadium in an attempt to nick the flag one night.
I was doing ok until I looked down and self preservation kicked in.
( I also was not caught).
that was a week long lash session😏
7
I would like to submit surprising evidence that I am not an idiot.
I used to enjoy off road driving, to the extent that I actually built my own vehicles with some success.
On diagnosis of PADS, I kicked it all in, giving my winches, straps, spares and vehicle to another enthusiast. it was heart breaking.
But the bottom line was, I now knew that I was in a position that if I were to get stuck or in trouble I would be not only a burden to emergency services but a potential danger to myself.
So that hobby went out the window and I mince about on the outskirts of so called civilisation.
7
I know the feeling Lord b. I gave up flying when I ran out of health and wealth.
As regards idiots, two words; cosmetic surgery.
6
flying? I prefer to be luggage in those situations.
I did jump out of a plane once, just as I cleared the door it struck me that I did not actually know those people, nor did I know if I actually have a parachute!
Were they all sitting there laughing? was I going to die?
Turns out I did have a parachute, At that point I discovered that people suspended on parachutes seem to become very magnetic to slurry pits and pylons.
A true experience, not to be repeated.
7
Morning Benny.
Lad who used to labour for me had PADS.
Hed suddenly be struck with intense pain in his legs and have to stop working till it passed.
He got nowhere with waiting for help with the NHS.
Then we did a job for a bloke who was a surgeon in a hospital in Manchester.
They bonded over a mutual love of a classic rock band.
The bloke asked my labourer what was the issue with his legs.
He took his details and got him fast tracked,
Did the operation himself!!
Now the labourer is like a fuckin spring lamb.
Goes hiking at weekends.
Its smoking related i think.
14
mine is genetic, I had the by pass ( and free cock lift) that failed within a day, I have about 30% blood supply but some shit hot meds!
I spend my life in a blur of pregabalin (which will peak around 11am), I can walk, talk (and consume vast quantities of alcohol with no apparent effect) thing is, yes I am in pain and my legs cramps up, just I dont give a fuck.
I am currently stuck between two rocks, one being my GP who is commenting on my prolonged medication and possibly weening me off, the other being a university study that involves the consultant as to how the fuck I am still walking round and not on prosthetics ( I got myself another hound last year, a puppy, he keeps me walking (he makes me walk) so drugs and an insistent dog seems to be the way forward. 😁😁
A word of warning though, a Greyhound puppy is not the same as a 4 year old rescue track dog, it was like someone had stuck a firework through the letter box for the first year, now he is starting to calm down, but for a while I thought I had really fucked up.
6
A little bit early in the game, but worth considering, are you aware of the Austrian being charged with man slaughter?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5yv9plyjgpo
(strangely for a Germanic this does not involve a cellar) however he is being held accountable for his actions in a court of law, no sympathy afforded to him.
8
To RonKnee, I’m sorry to see that you won’t be back, (Was your computer seized😂🤔) I will miss you, you were always a gentleman to me. Love, Jill💓
13
Youd of liked mr Fiddler, Jill.
Now he was a gentleman!
Charming fellow, the best cunter weve ever had.
Not a bad bone in his body.
But he left due to thin skinned professional victim General Cuntsters hysteria.
Shame.
13
Good old Dick, I recall him talking about his wife Fanny and their child kidy.
He had hounds as well, and a stout cane with a silver head for walking.
9
I remember he had a private library as well, and would retire with his hound with a goblet of brandy. That always struck me as the true mark of a gentleman. I bet he was Jacob Rees-Mogg.
7
Morning Jill, it is indeed a shame…RK was one of our best.
The mere thought of computer seizure has brought me out in a cold sweat. If it ever happens at my love dungeon, I hope that the investigating officer is so traumatized by the contents that he is forced to resign with PTSD.
15
I hope I didn’t upset him by dissing his love for the fat arsed stammering fucker in number 11.
11
Hope it’s nothing to do with the Epstein files being released
3
A Ron Nom, must be a ghost writer.
Idiots who go out after dark, on a mountain, in winter.., why?
I was stuck on a chair lift when skiiing many years ago, howling wind and snow, but at least I had warm clothing. Must have been the best part of an hour before the lift people got it moving. Fucking French 😂
9
“Idiots who go out after dark, on a mountain, in winter.., why?”
Moron hunting springs to mind, they were going to die anyway so why not have some fun in the process?
Fuck I have some twisted thoughts😏
9
The Ivans had a good system for dealing with any useless twats, They would be sent to the salt mines. Brilliant!
Our High Street is full off mindless dross that have trouble not bumping into each other. Most of them are ‘supported’ by Lib Dem run ‘community networks’. It is truly terrifying the think of drug fuelled morons being given advice by bearded crazies who think the world is about to end because of plastic carrier bags and yogurt shortages.
Good morning, everyone.
12
Yoghurt shortage? I had better get some to go with my toilet paper stash!
8
To be correct, at school age you were selected for your future career, on leaving school you report to your allocated work place job, progression is possible.
if you do not jell with the workplace or staff another couple of allocations are possible, but after a few failed allocations it is time to report to the police station.
At that point you are then bundled off and find yourself doing hard labour.
After that you may well be returned to society but you are still stripped of your rights as a citizen for a time.
Now if you have any sense at that point you fuck off into the countryside and live in some hamlet or on your own until your rights are reinstated.
If you are a fool you will try and make it in the city, but with no rights you have no access to shelter or income so criminality is the only venture available and the spiral to the gulag starts.
4
A friend of mine once gave me the most sage piece of advice ever – “Most people are stupid”. And boy did NOvid prove that.
12
Halfwits.Pop them in the oven until crispy.
8
Stupidity must be one of the few things you can’t aquire for money.
I would instigate a board of control. Following an ‘incident’ a board of enquiry would ascertain how much you owed to society, or even if you were fit for it. I of course would sit as chairman and would have a reputation of being hard but fair in passing verdicts.
Joking apart it is said that we should learn by other’s mistakes, but when there aee no consequences to those mistakes the only thing learnt is that somebody else will always pull you out of the shit. Herumph life is not like that.
10
Setting out at nightfall to climb a mountain in winter?
Darwinian selection at its finest.
Mountain Rescue should operate like Yank hospitals,bank details and insurance first otherwise Fuck Off.
Good morning.
12
Not to worry, they will probably be voting for the Greens and the next GE.
PS…Andrew looked like a petrified corpse in the back of that car last night.
11
The Royal Family are said to be devastated at Andrew’s death in a horrific car crash this weekend 😂
Morning LL / All 👍
18
Morning Jack…good to see you back.
Yes, I’m sure if old Phil was still with us he would have made sure Andrew had his cyanide tooth in before he left to be interviewed.
10
Where the bleeding hell have you been?!!
We’ve been worried sick!!
Had kinder scout mountain rescue looking for you.
And Edale.
We were just about to get Colombo in suspecting foul play.
Good to see you back Jack👍
7
Thanks chaps. Been kind of busy, Ethel is struggling a bit and I’ve been a bit ropey and busy.
Time flies when you’re having fun 😁👍
Good afternoon.
5
Indeed he did LL. With his background you couldn’t imagine anyone less well equipped to cope with a skilled experienced interrogator. Could this mark the end of the monarchy? Or even the beginning of the end? Could we be that lucky?
8
@LL 11:04am post.
3
President Starmer? No thank you. Trim the civil list and prune the dead wood off it.
12
These two would be ideal candidates for the advertised post of Village Idiot. They’d forget to turn up for the interview.
5
I was brought up to admire hillclimbers and mountaineers.
Chris Bonnington
Edmund Hilary
Sherpa tentpeg
Planting the union flag🇬🇧
On desolate peaks whilst the wind howls around them..
But most of em are cunts.
Take the recent case of Tommy P.
The austrian alpinist who while climbing fucked off from his less experienced girlfriend who promptly froze to death.
What a rotter.
Ive never heard of a austrian being cruel before.
8
Ps
I like to think of Tommy P
Saying in clipped tones like Bazil Fawlty
“come on will you!”
“not far to the summit now.
You need to push on!”
While muttering under his breathe
‘ bloody dozy mare’
‘useless. Absolutely useless “
7
again slightly off topic.
https://youtu.be/DBCf5ea2big?si=ui_BIS4HNZm7fcyc
mr sweety nonce.
https://youtu.be/DFu8P7teOt8?si=ZHQ0EalJgcpz7xMm
we are pushing for re release of the record.
1
Idiots indeed, Its well known pseudoscience that to be able to get on just fine in the hills in bad weather wearing trackies and trainers one simply must be equipped with some cans of lager and much more importantly, a bottle of buckfast.
Had this group taken these small but simple steps then the mountain rescue team would have went unbothered as the group would have transformed from ill equipped morons to capable of surviving anything in a T shirt.
5
Pps
Tommy P didnt even leave his bird in the emergency blanket or bivvi bag they had with them.
Just left her in the snow and howling wind😢
“give us that fuckin mars bar here,
Ive got a long walk ahead of me”
A ex girlfriend said he did the same to her.
Left her sobbing in the snow with a broken torch.
Just did one an got off.
Hes home in time for tea feet up in front of a log fire shes still in the dark on the side of a mountain.
Yeti bait.
Tommy P is currently single.
6
perhaps that is his mode of operation, bit like Hansel and Gretel,
Fuck me when I think about it those tales come from there, maybe he was rein acting something
4
I imagine him, snuggled up under a heavy duvet Benny
Lying there listening to the wind blowing snow and hail against the window.
A big grin on his face
😁
4
My old mum used to say that cunts who went climbing up mountains and going down caves in the Winter were idiots and selfish sods. She told me when I was a kid ‘They don’t stop to think that the rescue teams who have to go out there to get them are also put at risk.’ It was a news report in the 70s, about how two daft amateur student cunts got caught on Ben Nevis, after climbing up there in a January squall. Fucking cunts.
Good to see your noms are still here, Ron.👍
Oh, and our mate Air Miles A has been ‘released under investigation’.
As that old slag Cilla would have squawked ‘Surprise Surprise’.
7
Talking of idiots, just been to seven kings, need to change that name.. no fucking king would be seen dead there.
Pàki’s as far as the eye can see..
All queueing in the rain to kiss the carpet.
Could kill hundreds with a coordinated drive by shootings.
Or at least jet wash the smelly cunts.
9
Idiots don’t like the truth either..!
https://www.gbnews.com/sport/football/michael-carrick-sir-jim-ratcliffe-immigration-man-utd
5
Maybe they should require insurance before going up a mountain. Trouble is the government would then extend that to anything else, like going to the corner shop after the Met Office issues a warning about a light mist.
5
Most of the idiot cunts round here would starve to death without access to twenty bags of crisps a day – retards dressed in pastel coloured trackies, hanging about in the corner shop like foamy randoms.
4
I am inclined to agree, if you are deliberately putting yourself in a situation where misadventure is possible whether it be on sea air or land you should have something in place to provide renumerification to those who use their resources and risk their own lives to recover you.
My last job, I had liability up to one million, take into account I was 19 driving a 70 ton tank, but houses were not so expensive then 😏
So yes I think some form of insurance to cover the extreme’s would be required
6
well this one was found guilty of gross negligence that lead to the death of his girlfriend.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/feb/20/austria-climber-convicted-manslaughter-girlfriend-kerstin-g-grossglockner-mountain
same shit different country, but held accountable and not pandered too.
6
That’s him.
Tommy P.
Prince Charming.
5
Im just surprised Tommy P didnt use her corpse as a sled to get back down the mountain.
The little charmer
2
O/T , essential self defense for suck dick khan’s londonstabistan..☠️
https://youtube.com/shorts/dZYy0BWVzoE?si=ezicC7WxF5UpmFni
5
Remember when mobile phones commonly had a little stubby external aerial Doc? I was in a Met police nick one day and I saw pictures they had of a putative mobile phone where the “aerial” was in fact the barrel of a .22 calibre gun which carried four bullets. This had been found on some East European cunt in London.
5
Where can I get one..?
3
Try nicking that!
1
I digress for other than the title of this cunting about a group of Danish students in the film “Idioterne” who only pretend to be idiots. This could be for the same reason, by testing the strengths of the rescue team.
3
It is my conviction as that of my good friend Bob sadly now no longer with us that rewinding and the reintroduced of wolves to the Highlands was a good idea if for no other reason than the money saved on mountain rescue 👍👍🏴🥃
4
O/T, something I am reading at the moment :
Oliver Cromwell said when addressing Charles 1st.
The British people being ordinary would prefer to be asked. Rather than told..!
It would seem in 20 / 21st century GB, cunts like Starmer/Blair/ Cameron/ Johnson and the one eyed ( who put that bigoted woman in front of me) brown twat.
Never read history when “achieving” their PPE at some overblown fucking university..!
Well, we weren’t asked. We don’t want to be colonized by the dregs of the uneducated Islam worshipping cunts.
We don’t want some African backwater neatherthal roaming GB streets with a fucking machete.
We don’t want British children being raped and pimped out by the Muslim.
We don’t want a 1000 years of British culture to be swamped and overwhelmed by third world pondlife..!
But, we were never asked. Where we.
What would Oliver Cromwell make of 21st century GB.
After his death the re-establish the fucking monarchy..
How’s that working out, one might ask..!!
4