is a cunt.
Remember VHS tapes? Remember the biggest inconvenience of getting a rental movie was having to rewind the tape because the previous cunt didn’t bother? After that, it was press Play and after a few moments your movie would start. Yes, the picture quality wasn’t always the best. Yes, you might have to dick around with the tracking control to get rid of the black and white bands of picture interference. But you didn’t have to wait long before the opening credits were rolling and you could enjoy the show.
Fast forward (see what I did there?) to today and we have big screen hi-def TVs, multi-channel surround sound systems and hi-def digital discs of your favourite movies. You’ve paid good money for a movie, it’s spinning up in the disc player and you’re moments away from immersing yourself in a visual and audible feast.
Not so fast.
Fucking trailer of another film you’re not interested in. So you’ve basically paid to be advertised to, thus wasting your time and money. Oh wait, the player won’t skip past it either because the main menu option is temporarily disabled on the remote. Bastards! Use fast forward, that’ll fix ’em. Oh wait, another trailer. And another. And another. Finally you get past that crap. Time for the movie you actually paid for? Nope.
A full screen of stills and action sequences from the movie and somewhere buried in there is the option to actually start the movie. Finally, we’re off, right? Nope.
Full screen whine about piracy not being a victimless crime. Yeah, I know. I paid for the fucking disc so can I watch my movie now, please? Nope. Next we get a screen telling us the views and opinions expressed on the disc do not necessarily represent those of the studio who released the film. Really? I honestly thought Liam Neeson was the official spokesperson for Sony Pictures. Do fuck off.
Movie time now? Nope. Next it’s an announcement from Interpol about copyright theft. And you can’t skip that either. Just to make sure you’re even more irritated, the same fucking message comes up next in French, FFS! Can I watch the movie now? Nope.
Full screen telling me the movie’s rating. I don’t care.
Next, full screen telling me it’s a Universal Pictures release. I don’t care.
Next, it’s some animated graphic about the production company. I don’t care.
Next, it’s some logo bollocks about the distribution company. I don’t care.
Next, I’m told it’s a Steven Spielberg movie. I don’t care.
Next, I’m informed who the producer is. I don’t care.
Next, I’m told who the producer worked in association with. I don’t care.
On and on this goes.
I’ve actually timed this on some discs and if you sat through all this crap, it’ll be 15+ minutes before you actually see the first frames of the movie you paid for. That’s pathetic, very annoying and an absolute cunt.
Nominated by : Immigration Yank.
And that’s not counting the amount of time that it takes the valves on your black and white television set to warm up.
Blueray?…. DVD?
Buy a Firestick and put on one of the many film apps
If there is any bumf before one of the millions of available films starts running then skip the bollocks with your remote (a hand held device which cancels the need to get up and press buttons on a machine).
I remember that it took forever to rewind a VHS tape, but that was a century ago.
Good morning!
9
I could say the same for Amazon fire stick.
I recall the old days when you had to get the old CRT warmed up before!
Now its a blue circle and a “LOADING” message, ok in reality the programs are not timed and on demand, but as on demand suggests, I want it now and not the next 5 mins.
( shit for someone that rarely drives over 50mph I am an impatient cunt)
3
Get a vpn, get a fire stick, pay someone 80 pound a year and have access to every channel and streaming service.
Watch sky sports and chuckle, knowing you are not contributing one penny to that socialist cunt gary nevilles salary.
8
@bz….or them other annoying pundits, super Scouse Jamie carrrrrrrrrrrrrragher de, do, do,don’t, de, do. or Lego head chuckling hyena Micah retard and just for dessert any of the wimmins who’s standard of football equates to boys U14 😩
5
Further to above replies, if you want 4k downloads rather than streaming, get Tor browser, get qbittorrent to download and use either yts.lt or snowfl.com to obtain the links…it’s easy peasy and I’ve been doing it for a decade plus. There’s pretty much nothing that can’t be obtained with a couple of clicks.
5
Fuck me, there are a lot of digital savvy pirates on this forum.
I am still struggling with that age verification business, wife has caught me on the computer with my passport twice so far, so we have two nice holidays booked 😢
11
Get a VPN on that your Lordship.
Youtube is your friend.
2
Tor browser seconded, mainly for bypassing the ID requirements on porn sites 😉
1
I can’t be doing with all this technology bollocks.
I just get a bank loan and go to the cinema.
12
Also to the above,a bloke down the pub told me that if your TV has the Play store built in then the film and sports streaming apps can be directly installed onto the TV itself.
Apparently there are many tutorials online about how to do it.
I suppose many millions of normal people have got fucking sick of adverts,wôgs in everything and having their pants pulled down on a monthly basis by the likes of Sky and Virgín.
Good morning.
7
However in the era of being able to stream everything and download romantic films that would make Mary Whitehouse shit herself it can make a chap look back with nostalgia to the era of the porn video,never quite knowing “what you were going to get” when you set it going,if the picture quality was watchable and if the VCR was going to chew the tape up.
On the other hand,fuck that.
5
That brings back memories of a work colleague who wanted to borrow a ‘snuggle film’ on VHS for a romantic night in with his new girlfriend.
I lent him ‘Animal Farm’.
8
or some cunt turns up with a Betamax tape 😒
1
W°GS on everything.
Couldn’t have put it better myself..!
1
Excellent cunting.
However, when the film is one starring Tom Hanks I prefer the trailers and copyright messages. Much more interesting, even in fucking Polski. ‘Cast Away’, anyone? ‘The Terminal’? ‘The Da Vinci Code’? Fucking ‘Forest Gump’? You get my drift. Oh, and don’t get me started on dear, dear, Benny Cummebund, or that boring bastard Hugh Bonneville. Fuck that.
Good morning everyone.
7
Download a bit torrent.
Find a suitable torrent website.
Movies, music,TV, porn.
Burn to disc if you want a keeper.
Load to flash drive if you don’t.
Plug in telly.
No ads, no pay.
Simples..
7
Unlike the criminal cunts who use firesticks etc to defraud the hardworking people of Hollyweird
I just watch something when its on telly.
Westerns.
People don’t realise that you’re regular Hollyweird filmstar also are deeply knowledgeable about current affairs and politics
And offer deep insights into race relations
Palestine
Trans rights
Donald trump
And other topics.
They dont just sniff cocaine and felch rentboys.
7
Ps
That Charlie Sheen seems a nice bloke?
Shame hes got the Aids.
I heard he allegedly bummed that Corey Haim?
And fiddled with that Corey Feldman!
Dunno if that’s why Feldman now looks like the reincarnation of Mickey Jackson?
4
I only remember the future, when everything was LIVE. No blacks, no yanks and no adverts. All quiet and simple, besides they gave you a rest in the afternoon from the television set when nothing was broadcast. On other days you went out into the fresh air for a walks without being disturbed.
6
I would be happy to wait 15 minutes to have a go on Rachel Bilson
I think I will stick with Netflix, there are ads but not that many, I have to confess that I watched the first part of the Mrs Beckham documentary and may watch the second part….
I must be getting that old cunts disease 😉
0
Anyone got CB Hustlers or Beneath the valley of the ultra vixens on VHS, asking for a friend.
3
Oh yes DC.
Kitten Natividad in the Ultra Vixens!
She is well worth watching.
Huge tits but unfortunately a un trimmed minge which was acceptable at that time.
She is still doing porn but has not aged well.
1
Admin asked me to compile a ISAC film poll
Listing your favourite films
Categories
Science fiction
Planet of the apes( original one) for me
Horror
Wickerman
Western
Outlaw Josey wales
Action film
Dirty Harry
Comedy
Any which way but loose
Romance
Smokey and the Bandit
Crime
Deadmans shoes
Your choices will be noted then completely disregarded.
3
@mnc….I picked the exact same list as you 😩…..ignore button on hold 🤐…of course I’m a computer generated AI Chinese/Russian bot and have drained your account at North West film society’s membership fund…’make my day,punk’
3
Scfi.. planet of the lammys.
Horror.. nightmare on downing Street..
Action… dirty Angela..
Comedy… any which way but abbot..
2
Huh the wicker man is a comedy.
1
To be honest, when the wife is out and I stick one of my special interest DVDs into the player,. I rarely last past the adverts before the main feature.
1
What I like about this nom, is the terminology, Correct use of the word FILM!
Not fucking movie 😒😒
Movie comes from the terminology “Moving pictures”, abbreviated too “Movie” by a certain nation, at that time someone would play away on an organ too give you the excitement.
Next came the “Talkies” films (or moving pictures) with sound tracks.
why the fuck “Movies” has been adopted by the UK is beyond me, if my wife wanted to see a movie I would hit mute and bring up the subtitles and try an accompany the film with a recorder!
Likewise fucking seasons! seasons are changes in the year not a catalogue of drama.
3
Thanks Lord benny for letting this be known. I’m fed up with having to tell people individually the correct terms relating to cinema. The hamshanks who are to blame, should begin interpreting their own language before ruining ours.
1
This could be the next horror show..👹
https://www.gbnews.com/politics/angela-rayner-teases-comeback-andy-burnham-by-election-snub
4
Politics for dill brains.
0
well this one is worth a multi page nomination, but it sort of ties in with the immigrant doctor theory.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckgvn4rr03vo
I am saying nothing
1
I’ll bet that CUNT doesn’t live near any fucking dinghy rats….☠️
3
Wouldn’t it be fitting if this nonentity was robbed and maimed by the riffraff he allowed to live in our properties
2
Thnks for the info milord, just confirms what most of us have suspected for a long time. Utterly sick of it. Fascinating watching Bbc flapping undecidedly about who or what side they are on.
Blue Ray dvd wotsits? Glad I’m a Luddite and still read books.
0
I have over a thousand films copied on to discs from whence being a member of FilmFour, before they went free to air. Most are foreign language films and British. The beauty of watching them is allowing a moment of blank screen before the film begins and also after the end credits are finished.
2
I would also like to add that all the foreign language films are subtitled with our own colloquial English
0
When you buy a DVD from Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Ltd, you do not get a long trailer. It opens with our trademark – Emily Thornberry’s enormous orbs, bedecked with red nipple tassels and a card which says Bill Boggs Presents…… Then you are straight into your film. Speaking of that lovely lady watch out for this spring’s blockbuster release The Emily Thornberry Story. It starts with Pathe’ newsreel from VJ night, which was the day her career started at the Steaming Pussycat Stripyease Club – it was even shot in colour. We then go through the golden years – the 1950s and her first sexploitation film – Appointment in Lisle Street, where she plays a young working girl, through the sixties when she was billed as the new Diana Dors, the 1970s and 80s deals with her battle with the bottle and the calories, and ends up with her latest nudie epic – a lesbian duo with Jess Phillips. Emmy is a wonderful actress. Before she discovered the joys of sex she played Nancy in a wartime production of Oliver. Her many fans will be delighted to know she will be appearing in the 2026 version – as Fagin.
3
Waiting to see a film at the pictures has always been a cunt too, with all those trailers & ads. Only decent thing to come out of all of that was the iconic Pearl & Dean ‘Asteroid.’ A short clip that is still used today as a phone ringtone.
0