It wouldn’t be Christmas ( sorry, the Festive season ) without a tale of woe or two, preferably featuring some “vulnerable” member of society and including the word ” ruined “, so here you are.
Jean and Ron Rodbourne were due to host the family celebrations. They placed an order for home delivery back in October, which was due to arrive between 4 and 5pm. When it hadn’t been delivered by 6pm, Jean rang only to be told it was a ” computer glitch” and there was nothing that could be done.
Now, here’s where my sympathy chip went on the fritz.
This was the 22nd December, not Christmas Eve. The delivery was from Sainsbury’s, not Fortnum and Mason. It was payment on delivery, so they weren’t left without money to buy groceries elsewhere.
What was stopping their son ( who ended up hosting at his house ) taking them shopping on the 23rd, so plans could go ahead?
Of course, Christmas was “ruined”, and the couple have asked for compensation, naturally.
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
Modern society’s disease…no responsibility. And no ability to plan ahead. I plan years ahead, deep into my own future retirement.
I was happy to shop for my elderly parents two weeks before Christmas when they were alive, not wait until the last minute like a disorganised simpleton.
Reading the linked story, I noticed an amusing story on the Kent Online site: man wanks off dog:
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/dog-owner-spotted-in-park-fondling-his-dog-s-private-parts-334360/?dicbo=v2-lEGEBZW
12
I bet he was the van driver for the codgers non delivery.
5
Don’t suppose he had washed his hands either.
5
There is always someone to blame and therefore off whom to claim compensation, in this case Sainsbury’s. There is no such thing as an accident any more, the word has become redundant. No RTAs now, RTCs please, as if there was intent to cause a prang.
7
Thatll be the German in you Thomas.
Not me!
I like to lurch from one impending disaster to another!
The Rodmans should of just gone poundland and got some reduced pot noodles.
Sainsburys will always let you down.
My advice is
Plan nothing and see where the winds of fate take you.
11
Ps
They should of put a brick through Sainsburys window.
7
Or just done it the Romanian way and nicked loads of stuff; Mrs Rodbourne could’ve stuffed a butterball turkey down her bloomers – bootyful!
8
The Sainsbury family are big supporters to the Labour Party so of course their company will let you down and not take responsibility.
4
A similar thing happened in the Good Life Christmas Special, when the Leadbetters food failed to arrive on time. That was back in 1977.
7
Quite right Sammy. The silly bitch thinks she’s Margo Leadbetter.
‘Gerry, Christmas hasn’t been delivered’.
8
It should be obvious to even the most stupid cunts that it’s a waste of time to order grocery shopping 2 months in advance.
What the fuck are Sainsbury’s going to do with an order for food placed in October and not to be delivered until late December?
The daft woman wants fresh produce so the order would not be processed until the day of delivery, perhaps the day before.
I can just imagine the conversion that the shop staff had when the order was placed.
Some daft old biddy has given us a list of vegetables and meat now, to be sent out in December!
Did she expect them to box up her stuff there and then and leave it rotting in a corner of their warehouse?
Her order would have been deleted from the supermarket’s system within 48 hours of her placing it as it wasn’t delivered.
If you are old and you can’t get around then order a home delivery the day before you want it delivered, and expect that to include replacement items which you will need to send back for the right stuff.
If you can get around, and Christmas is that important to you, then get off your stupid arse and go shopping yourself.
You would think that with age comes a little intelligence.
Good morning!
8
I get that they are in their 80s and a bit frail.
Instead of bothering the son, who was going away for Christmas. Why didn’t they just ask him to pop to Asda, Morrisons, Tesco, Aldi or Lidl with a shopping list and have him drop it round?
7
Or spend Christmas Day with Tom and Barbara Good next door.
8
That’s right, Geordie, they had a spontaneous good time together and a wives swapping nearly happened, or subtly it did.
5
May I be the first to wish all you Cunters a very Merry Xmas for 2026 & a happy 2027 !
🎄
8
Hehe😁
3
Steady on there, SB…we’ve got the annual festivities of World Onion Ring Day to struggle through first:
https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/fun/onion-ring-day
4
Not before World Down Syndrome Day on the 21st of March, Cunt Engine.
4
How appropriate that World Downs Syndrome Day looks like it’s going to coincide with the Labour Party Leadership election between Chagos Charlie and the Cock o’ the North.
7
They should have gone begging outside sainsbury like every other cunt seems to do.
Or the son could’ve taken them off on his holiday to benidorm for a slap of traditional Spanish Christmas Dinner of spam,eggs and chips with Heinz ketchup.
Splendid.
Good morning.
8
The poor buggers should count themselves lucky..
They could have had some of these as a Christmas Eve treat..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c70lnlk9pzdo
4
Morning Terry.
False reporting by the BBC again i see.
The pork Scratching actually got ill off the ethnic looking woman.
She says her names ‘Ruanda’
But its clearly Doreen Lawrence in her PE vest.
10
Ha! I knew you’d spot the wicked cunt!
Well done,you’ve won a prize..
A night at the HoC bar with Doreen,followed by a night of passion in her luxury “second home”.
Don’t forget your wallet.
5
Ive been to kent.
What a ugly fuckin county.
Flat as a witches tit.
The Rodmans should move.
5
It used to be know as the Garden of England Mis. Now it’s the Toilet.
11
Bloody right Mis! I hope you folks in the north appreciate your local environment, the Peaks, the Lakes, the Moors etc. even if your train services are a disgrace.
3
I do Arfur.
As for trains i never use them so quite happy with them,
Fuck em.
Get a car. 😉
2
You leave ‘orf me ol,’ china, was luvvly wen Oi grew up there in the 60′.
Mind you bit of a dump now and glad I got away.
Kent sir? Everbody knows Kent, apples hops and women.
1
Retards
4
Iceland might not be their cup of tea, but they wouldn’t have failed them the way they go about it.
3
Great cunting, JP!
I will never forget the time that my Christmas was ruined by the crappy new eco- friendly wrappings on the Quality Street. An absolute fucking nightmare, the only sympathy I got was from MNC and Paul Chuckle MBE. I didn’t get a single penny in compensation, and no one from the BBC was interested because I don’t qualify for universal credit. Fuck off Nestles, the DWP, and The Mirror.
Good morning, everyone.
13
they should have ordered the stuff in August when the Christmas crap starts being put on the shelves in the retailers and thrown in your face on TV…😩….by the time they ordered they’d have been lucky to have received some turkey twizzlers and some aunt Bessie’s limp Yorkshire’s… remember your friendly e-scooter rider will deliver fresh spit on goodies to your door anytime 🎄🎅…
6
Did you know that some people dont even eat turkey on Christmas day?!!!
These people are called heretics.
A mate of mine this year took his family to a curry house🤮
Like some Taliban mullah.
I deeply dissaprove of this and told him i hope he fuckin choked.
Society is doomed
9
Bet he didn’t get pigs in blankets either.
8
Total non-story. You’d think that with the amount of dog shit washing ashore in Kent, that the journos would have much more important stuff to report ( try ‘ETHNICS INVADE!’ as a headline), but no, hold the front page, 2 old scrotes didn’t get their Christmas delivery, & they’re ‘vulnerable’ don’t you know! Just who at Kent Live thought that was a story. Slow news day or what!
What a load of old shit, suck it up coffin dodgers.
9
Near me, the Salvation Army have a free Christmas dinner all for free ! I’ve gone there on occasions for a second held and the down and outs are such fun to get along with.
9
You had Christmas Dinner with tramps Sammy?
Oh good lord No.
We cant be having that!
Your a fellow ISAC and it reflects badly on us thst your sat with dossers on Christmas day.
No, this year your welcome at either Tommy Cuntengines or JPs.
29
You feel like the king, Mis, sat at the head of the table.
5
Any yuletide visitor to my abode can receive a complementary Christmas nosh off of my ‘guest’ for the festive period.
For 2026, I’m setting in motion plans to abduct either Susan Boyle or Ann Widdecombe.
Who tickles your fancy most, Sammy? Imagine either of them clothed in nothing but strands of cheap Poundland tinsel…you’d be as hard as a diamond in a trice.
20
You are singing from the wrong hymn sheet, Thomas.
5
Okie dokie. Michael Portillo then?
11
I was correcting the off of, Thomas.
2
😆
7
Talk about first world problems.
Anyone would think Ron and Jean had to out and slaughter their own turkey and harvest some seasonal vegetables on a freezing Christmas forenoon.
7
When I made my morning cup of tea today, I found there was no milk in the fridge.
Mrs Cuntgomery was meant to have got some yesterday but forgot.
The irresponsible cow!
Now I’m fucked and my Sunday is ruined.
What should I do, cunters?
Go to the local shop, which is less than five minutes walk away?
Start divorce proceedings first thing Monday morning?
Or contact my local newspaper with my tale of woe for five minutes of fame?
I think the latter.
Because, like the Rodwells, I’m a lazy, brain dead, entitled cunt.
8
Drop her off for a corrective stay in my love dungeon, FCM.
She’d not forget your groceries again in a hurry.
5
Thanks for the offer, Thomas. Most considerate.
And I’m sure she’d thank us for it.
4
Dear me.
Send your wife to the shop.
Whilst she’s out burn the house down.
You move in with the Rodbournes,they’re celebrity millionaires now.
Perfect.
7
I’m not sure about the latter, UT.
They’d probably want me to wipe their arses for them for the rest of their naturals.
5
All 7 weeks of it, Field Marshal, given their age and decrepitude is such that they couldn’t even totter to Sainsbury’s their selves.
I do wonder who, exactly, was supposed to cook the planned feast?
2
I had a similar experience with the first Mrs Twatt some years ago FMC.
She ‘forgot’ to chop up some logs and bring them into the house to burn on the fire. Neglecting her wifely duties in my opinion, and it was perishing cold that night.
So I threw her on the fire instead.
6
I have the same problem with the cat. He will sit and watch it go out rather than move himself and put a bit of coal on.
Oh ye, “cats and staff” I forgot.
3
I couldn’t do that with my good lady, Geordie.
She’s so full of alcohol, there’d be a flash of white light and I’d have no eyebrows left.
7
Christmas does bring out the worst in people, doesn’t it?
At about 4pm on Christmas Eve, I sometimes like to stop at the large Sainsbury’s store on the way to my local.
Not to purchase anything, but to watch the last minute lunacy of people trying to buy £250 worth of groceries before the store shuts for a whole 24 hours.
It’s like the park key shop had never been invented.
I once saw a woman screaming at a member of staff because they had no spring onions.
Because Christmas isn’t Christmas without spring onions, as we all know.
I can’t recall her being in the local paper, but she probably filed for compensation, along with a strongly worded letter to her MP.
If Christmas does that to you, don’t fucking bother.
9
I don’t feel sorry for them, it’s only a fucking meal, just think about Bob Catshit, poor cunt only got a half day holiday on Christmas Day.
The King of the North is heading to Londonistan to run the four kingdoms, if he defeats Ser Starmer will he get the lord Ali specs and wardrobe, a shag with Starmers wife and a new queen….. the slapper of the north. 😂
9
As Billy Connolly once said.
‘The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one’
This is especially apt for a cunt like Mr Burnham.
And always be suspicious of politicians living up to titles, self proclaimed or otherwise.
Living up to the title of the Iron Lady sent Maggie mad in the end.
8
The king of the north has been banished to the Wall.
And I thought game of thrones was a fantasy 😂
5
Say NO to “Red”Andy.If he becomes our new “PM”(name only)we are toast as a country 🤷♂️
0
The hamshanks are fucking up our grammar. Their off of means from, similar to could of, means could have.
4
My grammar was a lovely lady an i was the apple of her eye.
10
You shouldn’t lower key yourself, Mis.
1
Also I hope the wolf doesn’t visit your grandma.
1
Idiots, anyone with any sense knows the best way to do xmas dinner is very last minute, not a lot of choice here on my island but co-op an hour or two before closing on xmas eve is like a gold mine.
I spent less than £50 and would have spent more had I had a spare second freezer, 3kg rump roast £3, smaller roasts £1. Steaks, 50p, a leg of lamb, £2. Packs of sausages, 50p.
Freezer is still pretty full now, and would have took something out yesterday for dinner today had it not been obligatory haggis day, £11 for an imported from mainland butcher 1kg haggis, outrageous, offal costing more than mince.
Freezer was carefully emptied before xmas knowing just how silly co-op gets with reductions and is a year round source of surprises.
As for the pair of cunts in nom, I guess it makes sense to get in early as delivery slots end up booked but still, no sympathy from me.
6
Go to B&Q just before they close on Christmas Eve and you can pick up a Christmas tree for free.
However I don’t know how well they roast. I’ve never tasted one.
8
Wonder if anyone ever said to Jesus
“Close that bleedin door!
Was you born in a barn?”
3
Only tried it the once Geordie. It gave me severe pins & needles.
3
I thought all christmas trees and plantation trees were free? The foresters even cut them into 8 food van sized lengths and leave them in near piles.
Not that theres any trees here!
1
Just asking, West coast? I’m North.
0
OT, we had a leaflet through our letterbox from our irredeemably posh MP, Laura Kyrke-Smith. The missus actually spat on it before binning it.
4
Morning arfur…..a quick check reveals she has worked for the International Rescue Committee and Disasters Emergency Committee, so she likes spending other peoples money with no accountability. Becoming an MP seems like a natural progression. A bit horsey looking too, no surprise being a blue blood.
6
She should have ordered from Waitrose and saved us all the bother.
1
Before the internet and mobile phones, my lovely lady and I would order a goose for Christmas at our local butcher. When unwrapping it we found the stupid bastard had given us a lump of fucking beef. With the shops now shut, we managed to get the phone number from the next door kabab shop. The butcher complained to us for bringing him out so late to correct his error, the cheeky cunt.
4
Whilst choosing a match to view on sly tv I choose also something else to listen to at the same time, of which I’ve done for decades due to not needing commentary for what I can see with my own eyes and don’t need any other opinions other than my own. What I’m about to listen to is an episode from File on 4 Investigates the hair loss drug Finasteride, which amused we from the start that the side effects reduce libido and erectile dysfunction. After I stopped laughing due to me not needing it with my head full of hair I had to wipe from my eyes to watch the football, it also shrinks the bollocks and I let out another burst of laughter. This is more interesting than the game.
1
Cunts all of em.
I shopped a week before the 25th, had two gatherings at mine and still have a full freezer, also plenty of drink and some Christmas pudding which will age nicely until next year. In fact apart from milk and some cleaning products I’ve only ventured to the supermarket once.
None of that cuntitude for me.
In other news mono-eyebrowed cock of the north and far left Trotskyite Burnham has been barred by TTK. Proof as usual that politicians only care about one thing.. themselves.
I’ve ordered a stock of popcorn.
1
Anyone who orders their big Christmas shopping online from anywhere is a daft cunt.
Because – as any fule knowe – that there is always something missing or out of stock. Usually something important or major. Like the turkey or Christmas pudding. They should just get off their lazy fat arses and go to the supermarket to get it it themselves. But, you know the stupidity of most people. This will happen time and time again. Yet, they will still do their big festive order online, and there will be ‘But… But it hasn’t turned up. This is missing.’ Laziness and stupidity, two very British traits now, unfortunately.
And, Sainsburys is shit. There is always some sort of cock up if you order from them.
0
Having read this awful tale I have begun 2 months of mourning, wash my hair in ashes and wear a little sackcloth number. Also I will crawl over broken flints twice a day to further demonstrate my misery for the spoiled Christmas. We are fucked to the power of 50. Shame to say that if civilisation breaks down here in Blighty most of the survivors will only be fit to eat.
0