“I think I’m in love,C.A.
“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee. I’m joined now by Chancellor Rachel Reeves, to discuss the ramifications of her Autumn budget. Thanks for joining us Rachel, or *snicker* may I call you ‘Thievin’?”
“Beast! Can’t you say something nice? *Sob* I’m going to cry again…”
“Something nice? Well let’s see… erm, you’ve got a great arse. I’d love to-”
“You awful sexist beast *sniffle*. I’m going to report you to the police for hate crime!”
“Blimey, how can saying your arse is fabulous be hateful? Anyway, least said, soonest mended. Now about the budget…”
“Keir says it was a positive triumph. A budget for the people. A budget for Britain!”
“Hang on. A budget for Britain? Growth down the toilet, inflation up, unemployment up, borrowing and debt at record levels, more broken promises on tax, another massive transfer of resources from those in work to those shirking at home and churning out kids, that’s a budget for the people?”
“Well look, times are hard. I fixed the public finances in my first budget and said I wouldn’t be back for more, except that now I am. But it’s not my fault. It’s all the fault of Brexit. And Covid. And the war in Ukraine. And fourteen years of gross mismanagement by the Tories. And economic headwinds”
“I see. Erm, what exactly are ‘economic headwinds’ anyway?”
“Well let me make sure I’ve got this right. They’re challenges or obstacles that hinder economic growth, such as global uncertainty. Or something. That’s what they tell me to say anyway, those people at the Treasury. So you see, any Chancellor would be standing here now, saying the same thing, it’s not my fault”
“So what’s your message to the increasingly hard-pressed, demoralised, and angry citizens, the workers and entrepreneurs who make up alarm clock Britain?”
“My message is that somebody’s got to pay more so that the feckless on Benefits Street can lounge about watching ‘Homes Under the Hammer’, eating pizza, drinking and smoking, and having more kids. Somebody’s got to pay to fund all those billions we spend on illegal migrants, net zero projects and foreign aid. This is what our rabid back benchers want, so dig deep, shut the hell up and get on with it”
“Well thank you Chancellor. Perhaps we’ll be here having the same conversation this time next year. But more likely not… Anyway, for now, this is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”
Nominated by Ron Knee.
Schoolyard antisemite Nigel Farage just got a 9million donation.
From.some Bitcoin cyrpto currency type bloke.
So youd think hed be in a good mood?
But no.
Demanding the BBC apologise for airing It aint alf hot mum in the 70s.
Well i liked it.
Dunno what his fuckin issue is with it?
But theyre like that the Hitler Youth.
No pleasing them.
7
I bought the It Ain’t Half Hot Mum DVD boxset some time ago. I haven’t made it to disc 2 yet. Since I fucking hate Indians I thought I’d enjoy a bunch of Army Brits ripping the piss out of them.
It’s not as funny as you think it is. Windsor Davis yelling is basically the punchline every single time. Disappointed. Maybe it gets better the deeper into the series you get. We’ll see.
For racial piss taking, Mind Your Language has aged much better. Plus it features the gorgeous Françoise Pascal. Had a massive horn for her back in the day. I probably still would now if she’s up for it.
7
it doesn’t get better, a bunch of mincers in the jungle is all I understood from it.
I did like the rice with raisins (that turned out to be tadpoles) part.
that was “The” funny scene in the whole series.
Stick with the League of Gentlemen if you want a laugh, or Little Britain if you want a reality check on this fuck up.
come to think of it Citizen Smith was shite, but closer to the reality of the current government.
3
Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Porridge, Rising Damp and early Only Fools and Horses. That’s the best stuff.
3
Robert Lindsay and Peter Vaughan were the only good ones in Citizen Smith. The episode with Albert Steptoe as the lift attendant was the best one.
2
As I understand it Mis, he responded earlier in a press conference to some cunt from the BBC who had had another dig about anti-semitic comments he’s supposed to have made back in the 70s, when he was a kid.
He was saying, before you have a go at me, have a look at the kind of stuff the Beeb was putting out back then; blackface in ‘The B and W Minstrel Show’ and ‘Hot Mom’; homophobia in ‘Are You Being Served?’, and homophobia and racism from the likes of Alf Garnett and Bernard Manning.
His point being, of course, that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
19
Well he can get fucked Ron.
Throwing stones and racism are my life long passions.
As for homophobia
He shouldnt get hysterical about it.
The puff.
8
That little Don Estelle.
Poor cunt died penniless 😥
Not a pot to piss in.
Celebrity mates all fucked off.
A disgrace.
He had a lovely voice,
Whispering grass with Windsor Davies.
Magic.
RIP both.
So shut your fuckin face Nigel.
8
On the subject of Don Estelle.
Took my ex-wife (then girlfriend) to a holiday camp in Mablethorpe near Skegness in the mid 80s.
Top of the bill for the camp’s cabaret was none other than Don Estelle.
He did some superb opera stuff, great voice. And, then as an encore, he donned the ‘Lofty’ uniform and helmet and sang ‘Whispering Grass’.
My then girlfriend said to me ‘He must be skint, if he’s doing gigs here.’ And – for once – she wasn’t wrong. Don was a Crumpsall lad and all.
I liked It Ain’t Half Hot Mum. Also, a bit fucking wealthy, that Nigel is complaining about it. Hope he hasn’t seen Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death Us Do Part.
3
Rachel says she’s asking me to pay a bit more to help Raynetta buy more vapes, tattoos and onesies for going out.
Always likes to look her best in public does Raynetta.
Well that’s nice of you to ask Rachel. When HMRC get in touch next April can I say I’ve considered your request but decided to turn it down?
I presume that’ll be okay.
10
What’s worse, the odious stench of her quim or the foul odour of her lies?
11
Let’s just cancel democracy and keep Starmski’s and the phoney economist in ” charge”.
Think on, you ! Might , just might VOTE REFORM.
This cannot be allowed.
So, labours answer is simple.
Just cancel the election, any election. Or if you vote for something “they” don’t like ( Brexit) cancel it..!
Therefore, Starmski’s is effectively changing the electoral system. Starmski’s hates YOU, He hates the fact” you” the great unwashed actually have a” vote” . You aren’t bright enough to vote.
They know better, you are like the character in the movie Matrix.
Simply existing to provide these political cunts and their master’s in POWER AND WEALTH..!
THIS OBVIOUSLY INCLUDES FUCKING ROYALTY..
TIME TO BURN THESE BASTARD’S..🔥
13
I have suggested that we just hold our own elections with no government interference.
The people will uphold the result and if the government don’t like it, it’s razor wire noises and lamp posts for them.
5
OT from – well – OT.
Tactically inept tonight against Hammers.
Also, seen a few blaming United supporters in Africa for the Remi Moses dying rumours.. But I am not having that. Because there’s no way any of those treeswinging mongs would have known who he is. Pllus the fact they got United’s results by drums from the next village until 2010.
3
Always makes me laugh that Homes under the Hammer is on when the feckless, lazy benefit cunts are the only ones who can watch it.
Here you go Ahmed this one should yield a rental income of 1000 pcm. Oooh good , me have that one as he strides his entitled hirsute, shit covered arse to collect the keys , accidentally kicking a homeless HM Forces veteran suffering from PTSD in the face (7 times)
Dave the Property Developer (which is what is known as a job,Ahmed) will make his flat available to the council you lazy cunt for you to live in, because they are so low on housing stock that all sorts of nice financial rent guarantees are provided (at taxpayers expense , dont worry about what tax is Ahmed , only mugs pay that) and theyll promise to redecorate when you inevitably trash the place due to having the same level of deportment as a 5 day old chimpanzee and smelling much worse.
Dave will continue to make some money but never be able to sell due to 50% of the flat value disappearing the day that you and your friends moved into the area when you were seeking asylum from that terrible vicious shithole………France.
Fuck this government. I am leaving in April and I will not be back unless there is a wholesale change in how we look after our own.
It isn’t fucking hard . No fucking migrant of any kind gets housed or given anything until every single homeless veteran is housed and helped with any service caused issues first . Not a single one.
We can then look at other indigenous groups suffering here . Once all sorted then we might just have a look at any refugees but in a much more UK favouring system ie what can you do for us, not the other way around.
And no Ahmed increasing violent sexual assaults and noncing stats is not a valid answer
14
Ron and co: Rachel has read your comments regarding encouraging your spouse to piss on you (or you on her) and this has inspired her. She is introducing a new “Piss Tax” and she will be asking you to pay just a little more. She will be taking the piss from midnight tonight.
You will notice in the header photo that Rachel is not wearing her usual old man Steptoe trousers, but a skirt. The reason for this is because it was just after lunch, and SirKweer always asks her to go to his office after she has taken her lunchtime dump, and she quickly has to remove the skirt and sit on his face. He specifically requests that she does not wear her lower body spray that day, and, if possible to fart furiously while she perches on his flabby face, so he can get the full flavour. While doing this SirKweer grabs the trousers she has been wearing during the morning to recall that nice arsy smell. If she is a good girl and manages a couple of eructations, he rewards her by giving her a reverse cowgirl, and then she has to finish off by giving fellatio. Keeper Of the Stool, Wes Streeting then comes in and cleans them both up.
Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited are considering issuing this geriatric performance as part of our special Xmas release “The Breast And Best of 2025”. It will, of course, be issued in our new “Smell-O-Vision” series.
4
Well I think she’s really fit and as dirty as shit,
All she needs is some guidance and I would happily TOGTT and bugger some sense into her.
I’d be prepared to do the same to that evil cunt Bridget Phillipson.
Just to show that I’ve got standards, I’ll give dirty Ange a miss because I don’t want a dose of knob-rot.
What absolutely Yvette Cooper you might ask.
Is the sourfaced bitch still alive ?
She’ll got all the charisma and sex appeal as one of those corpses that you’d find in a medical school dissecting room:.
0