As the festive season begins, Jools Holland and his Cuntenanny wil soon be on our screens again.
Now, in the 90s, it had the biggest acts of the time on it. Oasis, Blur. Pulp, Bjork and others appeared on the New Years Eve show. It was a big TV draw in those days and millions watched it.
But, for years the standard has dropped rapidly. And, now they have any old shit on it. This year’s show is particularly barrel scraping….
Ronnie Wood. No Mick or Keef and no Faces get together. So, why?
Olivia Dean. Who?
Lulu. Good in her day, but re-treads of Shout and Relight My Fire?🥱
Jessie J. Had a couple of (crap) hits well over a decade ago. I suppose Taylor Swift turned them down or was too expensive.
Craig David. Like Jessie J, a relic from the past who has done sod all for years.
The Kooks. Who they?
Imelda May. Errrr….
Ruby Turner. Same as every other bloody year.
I suppose the BBC takes what it can get and what it can afford, which doesn’t seem to be much.
And, the New Years Eve fireworks show on the other side will probably be worse. Last year it was pop antique Sophie Ellis Bextor. Who it will be this time? Chesney Hawkes? Right Said Fred? Babylon Fucking Zoo?
Bloody hell, even Andy Stewart and Moira Anderson was better than this shite.
Nominated by : Norman
All complete bollocks.
I’ll be tucked up in bed by eleven…🥱
17
I`ll be fucked up in bed by 11:30.
🍾😴
4
Jimmy Shand was apex Hogmanay entertainment. Toes start tapping just at the thought, the noo.
Here’s an image of another famous Jimmy that rolls back the years:
https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/ministers-to-discuss-saviles-visits-to-childrens-hospital/30388654.html
Happy New Year, everyone.
9
You should be at the 10 Downing Street New Years Eve Party tonight, as Lady Nugee does her annual striptease and has her pasties flying, Kweer will be reeling:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfF9ELhPW1Q
9
Ol’ Stasi Starmski is “ready for a re set” in 2026.No we want rid of the comedy dame.
7
It’d be great if they could bring back GG Allin from beyond the grave. Watching his terrible performance whilst cutting himself with razors and throwing his shit in Jools Holland’s smug face would be a site to behold.
10
Not only do i loathe New years Eve,
I despise Jools Holland.
His insistance on adding ragtime boogiewoogie piano to others music without invite,
Is in my opinion a fuckin cheek.
New years,
Fake cheer
Pissed up twats
Fireworks,
It should be banned.
Fuck 2026.🖕
16
Morning MNC/all.
He does seem rather slimy, doesn’t he? Not surprising for the Beeb, of course.
Surely it’s only a matter of time before some Rolf-esque allegations emerge.
He’s not the sort of chap you’d leave in charge of teenage girls.
10
Thought he was dead, always looks like he’s dead. Seems to be no end to the cunt.
9
Morning Thomas 👍
Jools is deeply worrying and cause for concern.
Any man who swans about with a large unlit cigar in his mouth is sending some sort of hidden message.
Jimmy Saville was one.
George peppard
Groucho marx
Eric monster Hall.
All sinister types.
All cigar enthusiasts.
10
Tonight there will be some excuse for them to get Brahms & Liszt, or will they go the whole hog for the big one, Elephants Trunk & Mozart. I’ll be having my normal thirst quenching water.
2
Good for you Sammy.
Ill be spending it muttering curse words,
Wishing bad luck and misfortune on others
And Coughing up phlegm.
5
You will have to stay sober, Mis, protecting the animals for when the fireworks commence.
6
Smug fucking cunt.
Happy New Year cunters 🥳
8
Julian Holland is undoubtedly an annoying, talentless cunt and his programme is a pile of shite.
The one thing in his defence is that he had to endure 5 years of working with that filthy, skanky whore Paula Yates. Frankly no one deserves that.
10
Filthy skanky Bob liked her.
And I mean that most sincerely.
😉
8
Ps
Ronnie wood looks like zelda from Terrahawks.
This grasping old cunt will do anything for money.
Surely he should be in his chateau sucking werthers original and reminiscing about sticking mars bars in groupies?
Fuckin degenerate.
18
Was he another one sticking Mars Bars up groupies?
The jammy cunt.
I wonder if anybody ever tried a Toblerlone?
10
Certain BBC celebrities would have given the kiddies a finger of fudge though Ron.
7
Yet another bonus for ditching the idiot lantern all those years ago.
Best of luck to all in 2026, I think we shall need it.
Ps Emelda May, there’s a clip on tube of her with Jeff Beck singing. Stunning!!!
5
Haven’t seen it in decades,thought “jools” was brown bread.
It’s another BBC national treasure and therefore guaranteed to be fucking appalling and rammed full of total cunts.
Three day purple tinnie bender Oven.
Good morning.
8
You’ve given me an idea Tez, get Shaun to select him for his next deadpool and do us all a favour.
9
If the fragrant Jools isn’t to your taste (former band mate, Chris Difford, reckons he was quite fragrant. He remembered he stank of piss when he first met him), there’s always Ronan Keating on BBC1.
Or if you fancy a spot of Boris and Trump bashing with a hint of antisemitism, there’s the Last Leg on C4.
My cup fucking runneth over!
Anyway. Fuck New Year’s Eve.
Enforced jollity, expensive taxis and wondering why you bothered at ten past twelve.
Save yourselves. Stay at home.
Just don’t put the telly on.
12
YUK Ronan Keating. ‘Sings’ through his nose.😖
10
Great new icon Jill.
5
My New Year’s resolution is to be a worse cunt than ever.
9
Quite right, Sammy. New Year is a steaming pile of shit.
10
Just to prove how phony this shit is, it was recorded during the first week of December. I know somebody who works on it. Poor cunt.
9
On a more serious note.
These ‘flagship’ BBC shows increasingly prove the license fee is anything but value for money.
Strictly, MoTD, Eastenders and annual wankfests like Cuntenanny cost untold millions in production costs and fees.
And for what?
Viewing figures for MoTD and Eastenders are a shade over 2 million, Strictly, despite the constant self promotion, struggles to get 4 million on a good day.
Viewing figures for Jools shower of shit must be awful.
But still they persist. Spunking public money on productions who’s costs far outweigh the number of potential viewers
The sooner those cunts are subjected to commercial realities, the better.
11
For some reason I can’t quite put my finger on our Great Leaders are very keen to ensure the television licence tax remains in place and ensures the complete unaccountability of Our BBC.
You’d think they’d want shut of it with all the mither it inevitably causes.
Perhaps they like the way the “news” is edited perhaps?
Fuck them.
Your health Field Marshal.
8
Indeed, UT.
With no BBC, there’d be nobody to parrot the government’s line unquestioned.
Can’t have that.
Your good health too, sir.
7
Nope, haven’t seen it in decades and the only reason I saw it long was due to being pissed on NYE.
Don’t the Scots start celebrating NYE at the end of September and carry on until the end of Jan with Burns night.
I must admit I did used to like a well made haggis with neeps and tatties, that and a nice single malt
7
Don’t the jocks even deep fry their salads to make them taste nicer for them ?
11
A friend of mine from Glasgow told me chips and beans was a salad.
10
Its like the Rangers fans excuse for not eating their greens.
6
No such thing as happy new year in stalag UK now unless you are immo,mudslime,bendy,half man/woman,commie, 🫛 doh…the rest of the population can go swivel 🖕as far as this rabble are concerned… I’ll be putting on my headphones 🎧 and going back to the 70’s with some real 🎶 and good ol’ pints of English ale….jools can see his new year in with other like minded talentless 💩… I’m ready to rock 🎸👍…all cunters stay safe and well for 2026 we’re in for a rollercoaster 🎢 😩
11
No TV for me tonight. Got my box set of ‘Bates Motel’ to look forward to. jools Holland can go fuck himself the odd looking little prick.
11
I’ll be going for old TV stuff too, Jill.
4
The wife’s talking about watching series five of ‘Slow Horses’. I’m talking about having a bit of fun, needing consolation and comfort as I do after Villa got stuffed by the Arse last night.
I’m sure an accommodation will be reached, and the New Year brought in with a bang. She can leave the Villa shirt off this time though, bless her.
9
Ron Knee, you are wicked.
Mrs Knee ‘shoot Ron, shoot, shoot, never mind you missed’ 😂
7
She could be coming back, the ECHR are sticking their noses in.
Ee by gum
4
Without reservation, I despise the narcissistic little squirt.
Caught 2 minutes of his Hootenanny about 15 years ago.
Never again!
Fuck him.
10
Flush old Julian down the Kazi.Smug cunt.
8
Is he still waiting for his bollocks to drop, EW.
8
Aye 🤣
3
Doubtless there will be a fireworks display from London ‘Brought to you by the Mayor of London’. Well, that’s how it was described last year. Is there no limit to the cunt’s cuntishness?
9
I remember what was possibly Jools first on screen gig, whereby he followed The Police around for part of their 1980 world tour.
There’s Andy Summers doing his stuff in the studio, when Jools starts playing over him with, what I swear, is the same Boogie Woogie riff he uses to drown out Ruby Turner each year to this very day.
Nothings changed. Apart from the fact he looks more odd and gargoyle like nowadays.
6
Missis Bastard loves the new year. I have to sit up and toast it in..
Good excuse for a piss up in the Bastard years.
Now NEW YEAR, SAME SHIT!
6
If i had 3 wishes one would be that joolz developed debilitating arthritis in his hands.
So he sobbed everytime he tried to play boogie woogie piano.
Nobody in the UK likes that shite.
It doesn’t blend with other music.
Its the musical equivalent of ian Huntley.
Reviled.
8
And your other two wishes, MNC?
Perhaps that Rylan comes mincing in through your country cream gates and whisks you off for a slap-up New Year’s romantic meal for two followed by some wildly amorous love-making atop the Cheviot?
8
Odd looking character that Rylan.
Sort of like Freddy Mercury if hed been in a house fire?
No, tempting as that is,
Id go for
2, Bruce Springsteen in a coma
3, the onset of tourettes in Rachel Reeves.
Her stuttering, umming and ahhing peppered with swear words.
” um, ah, err, after 14 years of tory misspending,
We ahh, err, um, are getting back on track,
With um stable, um, ah, fiscal policies.
Pissflaps.”
9
I did like Andy Stewart with his, Donald Where’s Your Troosers.
8
I will not be going out either tonight.
A new Chinese restaurant opened a few minutes from Casa Cunter, in the spring.
I must admit, it’s a lovely place and the food is good.
We go there at least twice a month and the staff now know us.
The last time that we were there we were given the New Year’s Eve menu to look at.
A choice of just 2 starters, one being soup.
Just 2 main dishes and 2 desserts to choose from too.
88 fucking euros a head!
Apparently there will be a glass of Cava included along with grapes (a tradition, don’t ask) and fireworks.
That’s how the little yellow robbing cunts thank you for your support.
Fuck them!
It’s not like we are short of places to eat here.
9
O/T, two little items to end the year :
New council houses to be built for asylum seekers to end use of hotels https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15422977/New-council-houses-built-asylum-seekers-push-end-use-hotels-intense-public-backlash-expected.html?ito=native_share_article-nativemenubutton
Nurse reveals she was ‘beaten nearly to death’ by Afghan migrant https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15424281/nurse-attacked-afghan-migrant-injuries.html?ito=native_share_article-nativemenubutton
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
6
Destined under the mental health act, ffs, what’s wrong with attempted murder, GBH, assault.
Cut his balls off and stick him on the rubber boat back in middle of the channel.
Putting these cunts in brand new social houses will just encourage more to come, posting of Tik Tok, free brand new house in the UK.
The government deserves to be locked up for fucking treason.
That nurse looks worth a bash and I don’t mean with a crowbar.
7
Wish we had a Trump. One filthy Afghan cunt (or whatever shithole country they come from) hurts one of our own then deport the whole damn lot of them!
7
Seems to me Sicky that the mental elf card is normally pulled whenever it’s a chimp out by a darker hued person but if it’s pale person we just lock ’em up.
5
Yes, if it’s black it’s mental.
That fucking Afghan cunt will be in a nut house for a few months and then let out, what’s the betting he goes on to do more fucking damage. Lessons will be learned.
7
DEPORT DEPORT DEPORT DEPORT 🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴
4
I was actually thinking of putting a nom up about this, but the mindless salutation “Happy New Year” does my fucking napper in.
At this time of the year normal conversations and interactions are uniformly punctuated by this meaningless utterance that also demands you reciprocate with equivalent vacuousness, and it drives me wild. It’s a conversational speed hump that not only impedes the smooth running of dialogue, but, in many cases is completely inappropriate to the circumstances of its articulation:
“Sorry to hear aunty Vera got minced in that terrible sausage factory incident. Happy New Year!”
“Little Jemima is up the stick by that crack addict scumbag and he’s fucked off never to be seen again. Happy New Year!”
“Ah that’s appalling about you getting the HIV from the contaminated blood transfusion, that’s terrible. Still, Happy New Year!”
What is more, despite a hundred people wishing me a happy new year in January ‘25, the year proceeded to be a cunt worthy of a nomination on this site – so these empty words having about as much value as the prayers offered to non-existent deities by god botherers the world over.
If I could ban this worthless social ritual I fucking would.
Happy New Year all cunters!
5
Well the beeb do know how to flog a dead horse, all that taxpayers money and they get the butlins 2026 summer entertainment.
Still not enough crowbar wielding Afghans for my liking.
Can’t even watch the fireworks from primrose Hill after the met police fenced it off. Probably on the orders of the pàki goblin.
5
I’m sure you’re right there Barry. I doubt they did it off their own bat.
3
Primrose Hill sounds gay.
Is that where Rodney meets his Ukranian friends for a game of cards?
4
2026 ? We’re only youngsters compared to the Jewish calendar of 5785.
3
Chubby little cunt has to do it every year, needs the money,after all there is a squeeze on. Ay thang yaw.
3
Nothing will ever top the old days of ‘The White Heather Club’ to bring the New Year in.
Superstars like Andy Stewart and Moira Anderson warbling about ‘roamin’ in the gloaming’, and bringing a tear to the eye with maudlin tunes about misty mountains and the swirl of the pipes. Cunts playing unrecognisable tunes on accordion and fiddle, while mad twats hopped and pranced about yelling ‘yeeee-ha!’. Fucking tartan everywhere.
Those were the days when the Beeb knew how to put on a Hogmanay show.
Morning all.
7
Good call, Ron –
And a blast from Lord Rockingham – Hoots Mon!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlzPnae2Dak
5
That takes me back. Portsmouth 1959. I had almost forgotten Lord Rockingham. Best music I have heard today. Here’s another, lesser known one of theirs from North of the Border:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR96Susnndc
2