Many years ago in my younger days I met and fell head over heels in love with a beautiful girl.
We spent a decade together and spent most of the early years in particular, living in each others pockets, such was our fondness for each other.
We had a baby daughter together and were happy for a long time but later in the relationship, cracks started to appear and things just gradually deteriorated.
Poor lass had had a particularly troubled upbringing and her behaviour started to become a problem.
She was running up severe debts unbeknown to me and was drinking a bit too much despite it not being good for her.
I was certainly no angel either and probably didn’t help matters at times, being an immature cunt in his 20s.
We eventually parted company and the split was horrific when I look back.
I genuinely tried my best to keep things amicable but she was seemingly just permanently on the warpath.
She eventually moved a few miles away and had apparently moved on with her life, meeting a new fella and having another baby to which I was actually happy for her.
This new relationship unfortunately broke down and she sadly spent the next several years in self destruction mode.
Sadly the poor lass died recently of what I believe to be alcohol related complications and I attended the funeral along with our daughter and I can honestly say it was the saddest occasion of my life. Seeing her Dad looking old and confused, my daughter being devastated and my ex’s other little girl so upset just added to the feeling of utter melancholy.
They put on a slideshow of old photos at the service and some of them featured yours truly, 25 years younger alongside this beautiful girl looking like a happy family.
To say my heart has been broken would be an understatement which brings me on to the purpose of me writing this nom up.
I feel because she was an ex from yesteryear that I have no right to feel such pain, guilt and regret because it’s nearly 2 decades since we separated- but I do.
I also feel uncomfortable crying in front of Mrs Jelmet who has been supportive but at the same time, I don’t want to or feel as though I should.
I’m sure most, if not all of the people reading this have experienced some severe grief at some point or other.
I’ve lost close old friends and more elderly relatives but can say that I have never felt this sad at a bereavement.
There’s no link or anything with this nomination as it’s just me rambling about how heartbroken I’m currently feeling and wondering how long it will take to start feeling better.
Thanks for reading.
Nominated by : Herman Jelmet
Herman – Wishing you peace and acceptance from all of us at Admin Mansions – NA.
Morning, Herman.
Grief is always personal and, ultimately unquantifiable, so it would be crass to offer any suggestions as to its alleviation. However, you do have my sympathies. My mother died over twenty years ago and the world has been a darker place for me ever since. Nevertheless, none of us can have the past back and must make the very best of the future – if not for ourselves, then for others we love.
Good morning everyone.
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My thoughts are with you Herman. Grief is an all engulfing emotion, overwhelming at times.
Maybe it’s time to dig deep into why you feel so grieved, then maybe you can unravel stuff.
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My thoughts too Herman. Grief is the penalty you pay for love. Things will get better for you and your daughter.
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You’re grieving and grief carries its own weight. My dog died in early September. Not just a dog but my best friend for 13 years. I was devastated, inconsolable at first.
Grief is something we don’t have a choice about and there’s no appropriate level that can be touched to any particular loss.
It’s possible you didn’t properly grieve for the relationship at the time and your ex’s passing has opened a door you forced shut.
Maybe a grief counsellor could help.
Take it easy on yourself.
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I wish you well sir.
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Best wishes Herman👍
Grieving is hard.
The loss of someone is a bitter thing.
Why i sometimes envy those with faith.
Chin up kid👍
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Ps
That Venezuelan president Nichola Madura,
Hes the absolute spit of Bob Carolgees.
Trumps gonna make his life hard.
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I’ve lost both my parents but I truly still miss my mam more than dad no doubt because he pissed off from me and my two brothers when I was about 6, leaving mother to raise three kids on her own…she grafted in the cotton mill as a weaver and worked her fingers too the bone … I’ve every praise for what my father did in the war as a navigator in Halifax/Lancaster bombers and the bravery he and countless others went through, but I’ve not got the same feeling of loss for him … it’s a strange thing grief and it’s probably peculiar in each of us how it comes through…I can only say perhaps concentrate on the good things that occurred when you were together Herman..👍
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If any cunter has elderly parents, I would urge them to get that relative speaking on video.
Simply because I did that with my mother, so I can hear her voice.
But my father died long before thr proliferation of smart phones, some 25 years ago.
Over the years, I have, alas, forgotten what his voice sounded like and I regret not thinking of doing it at the time.
A solemn good morning to one and all, especially HJ today.
Hope you will feel better in time, my friend.
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I have some old video of my late mother but I can’t bear to watch it.
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I know what you mean, SV.
I do get a lump in my throat when I hear her voice.
It’s certainly bittersweet, but I’d rather have the footage than not.
And it’s nice for my grown up kids to hear Grandma’s voice too.
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One can totally relate to this. It, too, will pass. Don’t feel guilty and stay strong.
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Hi Herman.
CuntyMort put it perfectly; ‘grief is the penalty we pay for love’.
We’ve all been there at some point mate, be it grandparents, parents, siblings or friends. I live in absolute dread that my beloved wife will go before me, selfish as that perhaps sounds.
It cuts to the bone but you’ll make it though, I know. For what it’s worth, I’m sure I speak for everyone on here when I say I say hang in there friend. Our thoughts are with you.
Ron
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make it through
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I can only ‘get’ this one by understanding grief when an animal I’ve known/’owned’ dies… but when people die – anyone – relative, anyone I knew? .. nada. Indifference.
Had a friend killed at 13 by a hit & run cunt driver and remember being upset then, .. but never since. Have to think something clicked in my 13 y.o. brain re: human mortality.
And any notion that there is such a thing as a benign overseer, of course.
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Morning Cuntemall.
Y’know, up until 5 years ago, I was the same as yourself.
A committed atheist, I poured utter scorn on the notion of both a celestial creator and man-made religion.
Until I acquired some psychedelics and on my fourth trip, was transported directly into God’s presence.
It was a profoudly ineffable experience and blew away my atheism instantly.
Accepting the existence of God (whilst still decrying the despicable synthetic nonsense of man-made religion) has made me a deeply spiritual person, not that you’d know it through the spiteful shite I post on here!
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Did God mention me Thomas?
Does he want me to kill anymore prostitutes?
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God said he wants you to know that your country cream gates are shit and his heavenly gates are miles better.
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Hey, Thomas.
Atheist doesn’t even begin to approach it for me. I hold the world record for misotheism .. Against the *notion* of it all, even.
At the same time, I quantified Poincare Recurrence Time at it’s upper boundary a few years ago, though. That was the equivalence of a psychadelic trip for me – (made my brain hurt like a marathon runners legs must hurt after a 26 mile run .. ) but pure science & maths, no god required.
On the grief front I DO walk around stunned for weeks after a rescue-turned-pet dies, though… any speccies – and literally had that revelation about 2 years ago, in the aftermath of the loss of one of my critters … “oh! .. so THIS is how people feel, who are affected by other people’s deaths”.
Genuinely.
So other cunters might not like my outlook but it’s literally hardwired in, at this stage ..
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And there is no gravy in Heaven.
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There’s a sub-heaven, LL.
It’s for anyone north of Leeds.
And anyone from Wales.
There’s plenty of gravy there, as well as drizzle, dreary landscapes, heroin and incomprehensible accents.
MNC’ll be in his element.
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Sorry to hear you’re going through it Herman. I’m not sure what’s the best way to deal with it as everyone is different. Hope you can enjoy things with your loved ones and that the feeling dampens down.
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What a lovely post and warm honest replies. Thought I’d stumbled upon ‘Isn’t a Cunt’!
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‘Tis only only a momentary reprieve, MW…we’ll be back to ϟϟtarmer and darkıes tomorrow.
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I feel for you, Herman.
Turn your face to the sun at every opportunity and remember only the good times.
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Relationships are always complicated, especially when you are the third leg in that relationship.
I do understand the grief and can relate to it.
This Christmas as with all previous, my wife’s son will be spending the day with his in-laws with their beloved grand child, neither grandparent has had a Christmas with the child.
So fuck em, My wife’s ex would spend the time on his own and maybe go to a pub, so this year I have booked a table for all of us down the pub for Christmas dinner.
being the third leg is sometimes good 😉
And my heartfelt condolences at your loss and what once was.
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Sympathies Herman, I hope you can work through your grief and keep positive mate.
O/T….I have just seen my first cunt wearing a face nappy for this new ‘superflu’, unless it was a Hiroo Onoda style holdout from Covid, but whatever, Bellend!
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I doubt there’s a contributer on this site who hasn’t lost a family member or close friend ( human or otherwise ), whose passing has left them absolutely knocked to the ground.
I’ve no insights to offer, other than time is indeed a great healer.
I hope that you are finding it a little easier to cope since you wrote this nomination, and hopefully the act of writing about it has helped you, even in a small way.
All the best Herman.
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