I came across this little gem quite by accident, and the headline naturally appealed to me….a savings account offering a 50% bonus….with a catch? I thought, what’s the catch? Normally high return accounts only offer this if your have shitloads to save, and even then if you invest it for 10 years and you don’t touch it.
So, I watched our resident shirt lifter Martin Lewis explain to to me in the attached video what it’s all about. Apparently it’s only open to low income workers who are also on Universal Credit, whereby over a period of 2 years saving the government (ie..us, the taxpayer) will reward these savers with a 50% bonus of the highest amount they have saved in that 2 year period. So if you save a grand in the first year, then decide to remove all but a quid of it by the second year, us tax payers will give those on UC a bonus of £500!!
Now, forgive me but if you are drawing benefits from us hard working tax payers because you ‘have no money’ then surely you shouldn’t have enough ‘spare’ to save? And even if you have, wy the fuck are the tax payers paying such a high bonus for saving OUR money to recive it?
Bonkers….and a cunt.
Nominated by : Chuff Chugger
In the land of Bennies everything is free.
I knew some cunt who danced a jig every time he got his disability payments guaranteed for another year. Another used to tell me he was off to collect his ‘wages’. Fucking bandits. Both were Labour voters, obviously. Both of them now get fucking pensions.
Good morning, everyone.
32
Agree 20k, Bennies are no longer for the needy, they are for anybody who doesn’t wish to work. The difference (£) between work and bennies is so slight, a life on benefits is to attractive, and now is inter- generational ie. The family business.
Mornin’ workers.
28
Those two cunts and all like them should be tied to a stake and burned to death on a pyre of benefits claims forms and used tyres from Motability cars. Similar treatment to be meted out to all illegals with a pyre made of soiled Serco bed sheets and deflated dinghies. Fuck every single one of ‘em.
5
Good grief…if you read the smallprint it’s even more alarming..
“Only payable to dark keys and any other random looters staying in a Serco hotel”.
It’s almost like the politicians are trying to buy votes!
They’d never do that.
100% return gilt Oven.
Good morning.
28
BBC news??? WTF is that??
Go Donald go.
26
Should’ve realised what you were on about, Harry.
3
From a clothed monkey to a shirtlifter with only two Christian names, you are bound to be skint. Open an ISA if you can afford it.
0
From a clothed monkey to an iron with only two christian names, you are bound to be skint. Open an ISA if you can afford it.
3
I find the whole economic set up worrying.
I have money, a little money, I live under the radar, do not appear on tenancy agreements ( because I have too much money to qualify, yet not enough to buy a car outright!).
Soon I will inherit a bit of a wedge, and fuck me I am scared, I am going to get fucked over, well I am being fucked over right now, but on finalisation I think the good old gov is going to rape me and finance some new voters with it.
28
Rachel’s latest wheeze is to tax the self-employed before they’ve earned anything.
So Lord b, you’ll probably have to pay Inheritance Tax on your own estate before you croak.
There’ll be ways of avoiding it of course, which Rodney’s junta will ruthlessly exploit to their own advantage. As always.
12
I’m not too worried. That fucking hag will be gone before she can implement this ridiculous notion.
1
Because I don’t like listening to people I don’t like, the iron with 2 cristian names, must’ve mentioned an ISA and there wasn’t a mention of the bbc.
1
I’ll add this to my benefits death wish list alongside Motability and payments to bogus claimants for bogus ailment ADHD, the shower of unprincipled scrounging cunts.
25
Now tell me benefits isn’t a lifestyle choice for some.
17
It a career with guaranteed job for life.
12
Bumboy Lewis has made stacks of money advising people who haven’t got any.
Next he’ll be advising teetotallers on the best booze and incels on how to pleasure a woman.
15
Another scam set up by this government to give away other people’s money.
I can’t see what this saving scam is about, I thought the whole point of getting people to work was getting them to spend and not be a burden to the tax payer.
Make work pay, well that would be a fucking miracle, ‘people want to work’, no they fucking don’t.
Sit at home, full fibre broadband (free or a massive discount), multichannel 65” TV, heating and lighting on the cheap and better off that the poor cunt down the road who works 40 hours on minimum wage.
The 2 child cap scrapped, ‘who wouldn’t want to bring children out of poverty’, yep ‘relative poverty’ which is a long way from actual poverty. I hate how the cunts use these phrases to justify giving someone else’s money away.
Unemployment is now 5.1%, I wonder why (see above) and as an added bonus scam a ‘disability’ and never have to bother even looking for a job (I have anxiety when I leave the house type disability).
Time to drastically reduce benefits, best cure for unemployment.
14
Yes cut to the bone, and then listen to the howls of anguish, not from the public but the back benches who see their re-election vanishing. Keeping themselves in a (well paid) job is more important than saving the country.
Fuck they would feel it if thee or me was in charge.
13
The slogan should change from make work pay to make being out of work uncomfortable.
3
Put all you’ve got on England beating the Australians in the third test match.
1
All part of bonkers Britain. Whilst I believe genuinely disabled people deserve all the help they can get, I can’t believe that 20% of all new cars are bought under the Motability scheme. I’ve never bought a new car in my life.
As for savings, outside of an isa, you get taxed on the paltry interest meaning it’s worth less in real terms, whilst Sat On Their Arses get a whopping bonus!.
13
All to true So long.
11
At least the freeloading cunts will get the 50%. Normally when I see any offers, it will say “up to” next to it in very small letters, so you might end up with virtually sweet fuck all! Promotions beginning with “From” is the other one where you might get fleeced.
12
Put all your savings on Britain becoming great and all white again, like it was in my hay day I got for free.
5
in my dystopian view of life I stumbled upon this.
https://youtu.be/GLTrMDe3Phs?si=vqLdurtC7LDUnaBR
the 13 cycles of humanity, showing us the world of screen dwellers and their evolution, they also seem to not work.
5
Time has come.
5 year warning.
Scrap the NHS.
Scrap all benefits, apart from fully paid up pension contributions.
Set maximum basic payments for
Disability.
Unemployment.
Sickness.
( No add on’s)
Scrap child benefits ( you had them, you pay for them)
Scrap motabilty.
This would:
A : “encourage” people back in to work.
B : encourage people to lead a healthier lifestyle.
C : discourage uncontrolled legal) illegal immigrants.
D : discourage rampant ethnic breeding.
Would you vote for this..?
11
If you return all the tax I’ve paid for the nhs
3
A Paki-free kidney unit would be Heaven.
The cunts were at it again with the noise and nicking the paper towels this morning.
Pure fucking filth. Human vermin.
7
This is something I put together and put it inside several local council notice boards.:-
CHRISTMAS APPEAL
This Christmas, we are asking people on benefits to donate £10.00 per month to help working families across the UK.
Thank you.
Contact. WWW. THISGOVERNMENTIS CRIPPLINGWORKING FAMILIESAND REWARDINGLAZYPEOPLE.COM
I’ve put 10 up so far. I wonder if anyone has tried contacting using the website 😂😂.
9
Superb
1
To be fair he was good as both characters in the professionals..
4
Remember old Fanny Batter, who was laughed out of her local bank because they didn’t believe that was her real name. Must be at the end of her tether being black and little savings.
2
There was a lad at our school named Daniel Druff. Straight up.
2
Robin Banks is another favourite.
1
Drain the swamp drain the swamp 🤬🤬🤬
4
I may have mentioned this before,but I have it on very good authority from a person who has worked there,that wõg “migrants” living at a hotel close to Manchester Airport were advised by benefit “advisors” to spend their benefit payments on luxury items,including cars,to reduce the amount of money they had in their bank accounts to avoid their monthly payments being reduced due to excess capital.
The Magic Money Tree indeed.
Cunts.
7
Shake the 💷💷💷 tree Unk
1
What are savings????
I’ve even had to hold up the grandson at gunpoint 🔫 for the few quid in his 🐽 bank 😖
6
I haven’t got any savings.
Ive spunked the lot. 😁
Labour wont be able to get a penny.
The inland Revenue can whistle too.
What would I spend it on when force to retire due to ill health?
Adult nappies and werthers original?
Fuck that.
6
I wouldn’t pin your hopes on JP’s antique button collection either.
He had promised me his Andrew and Fergie wedding tea service which is bloody worthless now.
5
Don’t forget, Mis now gets the antique Victorian button hook, LL. Bound to swell the coffers. 😀
Don’t you want the tea service?
It’s Royal Doulton, and only 60,000 produced!
3
Thomas might have a use for it as one of his love dungeon curios, JP.
2
😁
1
I’ll team up with you and lineup bought machine guns along the south coast.
1
All joking and fantasizing aside, there’s no fixing any of this – nations/the species on a downward trend …
Societally ; however ‘it’ is today, it will be a lesser version of it tomorrow.
If y’take what some cunters are recalling as much better days and – some seem to believe – a near perfect society back whenever 40, 50, 60 years ago …
Well ; somehow those lofty days morphed downwards into today’s rancid shitpile …
Now take the rancid shitpile that is modern day society, and use THAT as your starting point and explain how that can supposedly get better (or return to those better times)when the starting point is the current cunt state.
Realistically, now, chaps. Not (understandable) wishes… ‘Deport x,y,z’ is an answer, but quite unrealistic it would seem. Several millions of homegrown good for nothing cunts still claiming all sorts of everything too, don’t forget!
No.
How much WORSE does it get is the only real question. And what the fuck does that future nadir look like for a bonus point?
5
My brother-in-law died yesterday. I shall be watching with interest how the system treats my sister who has AMD and therefore can no longer drive. Both worked all their lives up to retirement and as responsible citizens put me to shame, never so much as collected a parking ticket and never claimed a penny until their state pensions.
9
My sincere condolences, arfur.
Look after yourself, as well as your sister.
4
Chin up Arfur,
Best wishes
MNC
1
Thanks both, appreciated. I’m not shattered by the event although it was unexpected. He was a good lad who I got on well with but I’m feeling philosophical about it. He was younger than me, I’m on borrowed time now. I’ve already had twenty years longer than my father.
1
You probably want to leave me something in your will to remember you by dont you Arfur?
Dont worry im not embarrassed to accept it.
Jp is also leaving me something
As is Cuntengine in the event of him asphyxiating dressed in a wetsuit with a tangerine in his gob.
Dont mean to be cheeky but i dont want that CB radio thing.
Dont leave me that shite😁
1
CB radio thing? You cheeky bugger Mis! I’ll have you know I worked hard for my Radio Amateur’s Exam back in the days before it was a multiple choice tick-box exercise and then went down to the coastguard station in Cardiff to take the Morse test as was required in those days. CB radio indeed, I’ve never been so insulted. Well, not so far today anyway.
0
I used to work for a care company. One of the ‘service users’ (that’s the euphemism they use nowadays) had saved up 4 grand in benefits. The company was organising a holiday abroad with the cash (with two staff members going as well of course). The ‘service user’ was mildly retarded and the mother lived quite comfortably in a rural village now that the taxpayer was paying for the sprog she’d shat out.
The benefits system is doomed to failure.
4
According to today’s Currant Bun, discussions over the future funding of the BBC are to include the possibility of giving free BBC subscriptions to those on bennies if the license fee was scrapped.
Apparently it could be a bit expensive for the poor lambs.
Because we can’t let them live without the latest iPhone, new tattoos, designer sportswear and multiple takeaways, can we?
Anyway, they shouldn’t worry. If the BBC goes subscription only, it’ll be bankrupt within 12 months.
5
And cannabis
Theyve always got money for that.
They fuckin reek of the shite.
The tracksuit dossers
7
The fuckers go to food banks ‘demanding’ grub. After they’ve spent their ill gotten on booze, cigs, ‘lotties’, phones and Netflix or Sky.
Believe me, these scum exist and do this.
6
There’s also talk of the BBC having adverts as well.
Then it will be indistinguishable from ITV.
Both will be heaps of soulless woke shite, peppered with vacuous commercials full of treeswingers and pooves.
‘The creatures outside looked from pig to man and from man to pig and from pig to man again. But already it was impossible to say which was which.’
5
Animal Farm Norm?
Theyve just done a new one.
Only its not a indictment of the dangers of socialism but on capitalism instead.
I normally don’t approve of books.
But thats a corker.
I instantly got it.
Power corrupts.
Meet the new boss same as the old boss.
I liked it.
3
People who have loads of books are complete cunts.
Normally middle class twats who have never done a days labour in their life.
” oh and this is the study”..
6000 books.
Daft cunt.
And where am I supposed to move them at the new house?
“oh ive got a office on the second floor…”
Cant we just burn em?
Or chuck em in the neighbours blue bin?
Fuckin egghead Bookworm twat.
4
Now, now.
I read books. I don’t have piles of them. I donate them to the local charity shop or pass them on to family and friends.
Can’t beat a paperback of short stories for the holiday.
I have a Kindle, and download free books. Love a good detective/ murder / mystery.
Beats the shit out of the crap on the idiot lantern these days.
4
Suppose JP,
I have a few westerns,
An Some Jack London books.
But if someone has the same amount as the local library,
I hope they have a house fire.
A box full of books is heavy especially up a few flights of stairs.
You got any jazz mags?
3
This kind?
https://share.google/2OCue9poB5jc4nHb5
2
Benefits, immigration and lawlessness; the only growth industries in Britain in 2025.
Evening all.
2