I suppose it had to happen. The ex footballer, turned knicker model, turned international playboy with a taste for underweight tarts, and self-titled father of the year – any year, has now, with far too much time and money on his hands, decided to become a farmer. Or at least he likes to grow broad beans in his weekend home back garden and pose in tweeds and shepherds crook. This has impressed the formerly tasteful magazine Country Life to employ him (for one week only) as “guest editor”. Apparently it has taken them the best part of a year to bring out the issue – no wonder, I daresay Dave is yet to master using all the crayons in his kit.
The tosh they have written about them is as sickening as his posing. The author of the deathless pose clearly fancies him. He or she gushes as Dave bends down to puck some berans and offer them to the assembled crew.
In reality this over-tattooed elderly poser probably has staff that run his “farm” or market garden (at best) -more likely a couple of rows of beans behind the dahlias and lobelia.
No wonder his eldest son wants nothing to do with him – probably the result of years of having to indulge his various delusions – not least that he is a good father – that has sickened and embarrassed the lad, like this latest improbable stunt. He says the countryside matters to him – publicity matters to the old hasbeen even more.
Nominated by : W. C. Boggs
There used to be this tattooed freak, who used to ‘entertain’ tourists in Hyde Park.
My dad saw him when he went to Wembley in 1963, and I believe he can be seen in the 1966 World Cup film ‘Goal’.
Beckham reminds me of him. Only Dave’s stupid head is tattoo free.
Mind you, if he does help get those Glazer vermin out of Old Trafford, all will be forgiven. Can’t see it happening though.
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I saw that chap. He had newspaper cuttings saying he drove getaway cars for Al Capone. Used to be at speakers corner.
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Guest editor? Please, pick me up off the floor.🤣
He struggled to sign his name on autographs at the Cliff.
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Davey Boy’s ‘flat cap’ is laughable.
Thinks it makes him look like Del Boy or one the Nine Elms market geezers.
OK, he had his uses as a footballer. But the has to be one of the thickest players ever (and that’s saying something). Becks makes Wayne Rooney look like Oppenheimer.
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This ‘guest editor’ bollocks is just another example of famous cunts getting stuff on a plate..
That utter twat Adil Ray is now a ‘DJ’ on (Shit) Smooth Radio.
The fact that I passionately hate him is neither here nor there.
Has he ever been on radio before? Has he ever done a proper DJ set? Has he ever even played a record? No to them all. I reckon.
Cunt.
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I had to look him up ; I mistakenly searched for ‘Aldi Ray’. Bottom end of the market
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If you can find it, ‘Driving Mr David’ was a brilliant pisstake by Viz of the Beckhams
Driving Mister David – a spoof of Beezer and (later) Beano comic strip “The Numskulls” in which we see the inner thought processes – or lack thereof – of David Beckham. The title is based on the film Driving Miss Daisy.
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“Driving Mr. David” was pure class, the budgies in Skeletons head! Priceless, absolutely golden.
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£land tossers
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O/T.
Made an appointment to see a vet who specialises in felines, as Dex is still leaky.
Thanks everyone who has offered advise.
I’m bowing to the inevitable, but can’t say I’m going to enjoy seeing another substantial chunk of £££s disappear.
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Good idea JP to talk to a specialist vet. I know they cost, but think of it this way. A pet is a darn site cheaper than scumbag vermin bastard filth git cunting shitty fucking arsehole me-me-me kids.
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Oh, I’ve kids IY.
Fortunately, they’re both in steady, well paid employment, and have been for many, many years with the same companies.
Not to say that they weren’t both vampire leeches when younger, but this is where we are today.
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OT. But some cunt is on a loudspeaker around our way right now.
It’s cold, pitch dark and pissing down. It isn’t the water people and it isn’t the coppers (both checked). And it’s not the scrap metal blokes either..
My guess is it’s some cunts with a scam to get folk to open their doors and look.
Well, they can sod off. Can’t make out a word of it. Sounds like Hitler under water.
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Good man, Norman.
Windows are for looking through and Google will tell you if there’s a flood warning or summat.
My doors locked all the time. I’ve had cheeky cunts try the handle.
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Maybe the local Islamic Party out canvassing?
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