Are deluded cunts, and also probably older, overweight and saggy.
(I’ve been saving this for a rainy day, Admin) (Oooo…goosebumps – NA)
A naked walk through Queens Park, Harborne was called off, due to the amount of on-line abuse the Association received, according to organiser Leah Crowley.
Birmingham City Council was “aware”, but had not approved or endorsed the proposed walk, and the Association later removed the council logo from their material.
Well, if my experience of Naturists is typical, thank Heaven it was cancelled.
Young, attractive females and males they most certainly are not!
They’re like this, dear Admin: Clothes Free Life.
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
Away from the beaches which are jam packed in the holiday season there are plenty of quiet beaches and coves.
These places are generally not accessible by public transport and they don’t have the chiringuitos that you would normally find on the tourist beaches.
These are the places where the local people go.
We treat them like you would visit a park in the UK. It would be unusual to spend more than a few hours on the beach.
We take our own food and drinks.
There is no dress code.
Wear what you want or nothing at all.
Most people, me included, see no point in wearing anything on the beach and it’s a bit bizarre to put on a swim suit just to get an uneven tan or to get it wet in the sea.
There will be individuals, couples, families and groups of young women on the beach.
It’s refreshing to see that the women, no matter how attractive they are, rarely get hassled by guys. They can just relax and enjoy themselves.
Although it would be odd to see a straight male couple or group we get the occasional male gay couples.
The odd thing about them is that they invariably are not naked. For some reason they tend to wear swimming trunks, small tight ones.
It’s just their thing.
They never get over affectionate with each other.
The other beach users wouldn’t put up with any of that.
Nobody bothers you and as long as you don’t bother anyone else, then it makes for a pleasant time.
The Policía Local may occasionally turn up in the car parks, usually to have a smoke but if they can be bothered they will fuck off anyone with a motor home who they think might be camping long term.
You can’t just park up anywhere overnight.
Going to the beach, stripping off and enjoying the sun and sea are basic and simple things to do.
People who describe themselves as naturists are usually cunts.
They form associations.
They have a President, a Vice President and a committee.
They want to feel important.
They will have a website, a club house, regular meetings and newsletters.
They sometimes hassle people on beaches with their leaflets, wanting people to join their club.
They don’t have badges as there is nowhere to pin them.
They want to regulate everything and have daft rules where none are necessary.
Given the opportunity they would put signs up everywhere with long lists of do’s and don’ts.
They also want the right to be naked wherever suits them personally.
To organise naturist events and suchlike.
They want to live a naturist lifestyle, whatever the fuck that is.
They take a basic, simple and natural act and try to make it into something that it is not.
Fucking cunts!
They can all fuck off.
15
Sun Life “borrowed” that sketch from Hale & Pace. That said, what a laugh Naked Parliament would make the fucking dump even funnier – imagine Lammy waddling along bollock naked arm in arm with Lady Nugee, Kweer wearing just a wide grin and a rusty truss where he has pissed on it, little Sugartits Cooper with nipples bigger than her knockers, Jess Phillips, with her pubic hair down to the floor as a human vacuum cleaner, Wessy Streeting powdering his cheeks, as well as his face, and Chris Bryant displaying his gaping arsehole. AnalEase Dodds with the cobwebs round her minge.
Even more horrific than the London Dungeon. Admission £10. Children not allowed.
13
The London dungeon used to scare the shit out of me as a kid.
What you have just described will chase me through my nightmares until the day I die
9
took our eldest to the edinburgh dungeon when he was about 4 and had to take him out as he was scared of the medical bit, the cunts an A&E doctor now
8
Sun Life “borrowed” that sketch from Hale & Pace. That said, what a laugh Naked Parliament would make the fucking dump even funnier – imagine Lammy waddling along bollock naked arm in arm with Lady Nugee, Kweer wearing just a wide grin and a rusty truss where he has pissed on it, little Sugartits Cooper with nipples nigger than her knockers, Jess Phillips, with her pubic hair down to the floor as a human vacuum cleaner, Wessy Streeting powdering his cheeks, as well as his face, and Chris Bryant displaying his gaping arsehole. AnalEase Dodds with the cobwebs round her minge.
Even more horrific than the London Dungeon. Admission £10. Children not allowed.
0
The gentle caress of the summer breeze on your ballbag,
Unhindered by undercrackers…
…
Marvelous.
You could say theyre leading a healthier lifestyle?
OR
Theyre disgusting exhibitionist who really want to look at each others willys and hairymarys.
But doubt the Birmingham branch has any lookers?
Be a few ethnics and Dave Hill.
11
It must be terribly embarrassing to be a nudist;
voting Liberal Democrat, and driving an EV.
12
I’m sure the peaceful council in Birmingham were all for that.
One thing I like about that smelly death cult is they do like covering up their ugly inbred women.. now if they could do something about the smell, and then fuck off to a Muslim country, I would be eternally grateful.
Anyway I thought Birmingham was filled to the top in rubbish, not much fun for nature walk. Unless you like hypodermic needles in your feet.
10
A mate lives in Stirchley, S.Birmingham. He says the rubbish situation is under control, in contrast to the strike a few years ago. The areas covered in rubbish that you see on the news are always like that anyway. They’re mostly populated be a certain demographic. I’m sure you can guess who I mean.
Anyway back on topic, enthusiasm for naturism tends to be in inverse proportion to physical attractiveness.
4
sounds like a load of bollocks, this is much more fun!
https://hu9swingersclub.co.uk/swingfest-2025/
and there is always
https://www.lamirageswingers.com/?lang=en
and you get the best of both worlds
1
I admire their near suicidal determination.
Deciding to take a naked stroll in a predominantly peaceful area, being male, let alone female, is probably as misguided as John Lennon saying to Yoko ‘Let’s move to New York, I won’t get hassled there’.
Having said that, as most are well over the age of consent, sexual assault may be less likely.
I’d advise somewhere local where there aren’t any peacefuls.
Poland, perhaps?
7
Not that arsed about naturists if truth be told.
But theres a time and place.
One turning up butt naked at a christening or funeral would be frowned up.
Or running a creche.
But on a beach or campsite,
Not much of a issue.
That oddball tory politician Michael Fabricant does naked bike rides.
Says nothing wrong with the naked body.
So take that wig off then Michael.
Hes one creepy motherfucker.
11
Naturist clubs will have nude weddings.
The vicar will be naked too.
And all of the guests.
Mental or what?
I suppose that you could easily spot the Best Man.
4
‘Oooh summer breeze makes me feel fine, blowing through my ballsack all the time’ 🎶 or a rendition of ‘in the summertime when my Mary looks fine,I can stretch right up and my clitty looks fine’ 🎶 ….billy big balls and the hairy gash band now touring Birmingham’s suburbs 🧑🎤
5
Like with homosexual parades, if you watch them, you’re unwittingly participating in their voyeuristic sexual pleasure. Seeing as the police won’t arrest them for indecency, best to ignore them and keep children away.
5
I’d like to see the mad cunts in a proper tear-up with the Free Palestine mob.
That’s excellent and healthy outdoor exercise.
Good morning.
6
The Brits have always had a problem with nudity. Tits and bums are to be laughed at. Sid James and Boobera Windsor (see, I am already making a joke/innuendo about it – we just can’t help it). Benny Hill took such matters to the extreme and we all laughed.
I think it has something to do with the climate and the need to keep well covered up.
Back in the Victorian times, even piano legs needed to be covered up in genteel company. It seemed to work.There is a Hammer documentary about all of this that is worth a look if you need further information as to what sort of thing went on:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnQGJWFJDao
Good morning, everyone.
4
I have noticed that every programme that they have on UK TV that covers naturists or anything remotely sexual will have a voice over from someone, man or woman, who sounds like they are doing a bad Franky Howard impersonation.
“Ooh Mrs….. Titter ye not”.
Silly cunts.
5
That’s absolutely right AC, we have a very puerile attitude to nudity in this country. Even traditionally Catholic countries like 🇪🇸. Portugal 🇵🇹 and Italy 🇮🇹 have a far more relaxed take in these things. In Germany 🇩🇪 (couldn’t find one with a swastika) , where religion has a greater hold than here and shops are closed on Sunday s, it is almost compulsory to get your kit off at every opportunity.
Good Morning
3
Everywhere except the UK Wanksock.
France has the enormous Cap d’Age.
The huge number of naturist beaches in Croatia.
All Scandinavian countries have mixed, nude saunas.
In most of Japan it is often compulsory to be naked in their hot springs.
4
Absolutely right.
I’ve also noticed over the years that any programme or article on the subject of naturism will invariably make twee comments about people exposing their ‘naughty bits’. Titter titter.
Where does this infantile attitude towards parts of the body come from? Is it a relic from the days of Victorian prudery or something?
1
Clothes are blasphemy.
If God had meant us to wear clothes he wouldn’t have given us fig leaves.
4
Or – personally speaking – cabbage leaves …
2
Know wonder it was cancelled. This kind of thing can cast a dark shadow over the situation, especially due to the grotesque size of ugly human bodies these days. They are bound to scare the living daylights out of you, never mind scaring children’s minds forever.
3
NO ! A faux pas on my account.
1
Many years ago, the wife and I were on holiday in Ibiza, and early on happened to mention to a fellow guest that we were going for a long walk along the beach, which went for miles.
A look of horror came across her face as she said ‘ Dawn’t go durn thee-ur! There’s noodists durn thee-ur!’
Naturally we promptly headed off to see, and ended up joining them, spending many happy hours of relaxation slowly turning golden brown all over. One of my most pleasant and invigorating holidays ever.
Morning all.
6
‘Muhammed Was Trans’ Pro-Palestine Demonstator.
For me, one of the most unwelcome sights in recent times has been that of increasingly rabid pro-Palestine demonstrations on our streets. There they’ve been week in and week out, that unholy alliance of naive ‘useful idiots’, hardline lefties who hate everything, and jihadi loonies chanting for the annihilation of Israel and the Jewish people.
Still, I’ve always maintained that even when things look bleak and depressing, you can often find a bit of bizarre humour in a situation to lighten the mood, even if you have to cross the pond to do so.
So let me take you to Noo Yoick, where presenter Ben Leo had gone to cover the October 7th pro-Palestine demonstrations for GB News. Here Mr Leo encountered a swivel-eye holding up a sign proclaiming ‘Muhammed Was Trans Too’. When the bemused reporter sought further clarification, the idiot replied ‘Muhammed was the first trans woman. She was a beautiful trans lesbian, according to the Koran’. When Leo made the observation that if he displayed his sign in Gaza he would be thrown off a roof, he received the response ‘I will not stop fighting until fifty per cent of Gaza’s government is trans women’. Naturally enough, Leo wasted little time in putting some distance between himself and his interviewee, observing as he did so that he served as an example of the intellectual limitations of the demonstrators.
Now of course it’s possible that what we have here is in fact a bit of world class trolling, but having watched the recording a few times, I’ve come to the conclusion that in fact, this guy is every bit as batshit crazy as he appears to be. As the saying goes, whom the goods would destroy, they first make mad.
Still, as the great Bernard Manning would say, ‘they can’t stop us havin’ a laff’, and the antics of this ludicrous cunt have certainly brought a smile to my face.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ozYmcFofjgY
3
Oh for pete’s sake.
APOLOGIES YET AGAIN ADMIN!
Can you please transfer to ‘Nominations’?
You’d have thought I’d have got the hang of this by now…
1
pretty good nom ron, just copy and paste it across.
1
done
1
Ah yes, Naturists.
Funny how these delusional exhibitionists don’t appear to want to go for their wee jaunts through tick or midgie infested countryside, or, better still, parade their fat fozy arses in full view of a field full of clegs…having just recovered from being bitten on the nose nearly a fortnight ago by one of those evil winged cunts (left hand side of nose swollen like a balloon for just over a week) I can tell you how much of a nasty bitch ‘Nature’ can be.
Of course, this lot being in the Midlands, if they ventured out buff naked down there into that nature that they’re allegedly so ‘isty’ about they’d have the clegs and ticks to contend with, no midgies but more mossies and, as a bonus, they would have the added fun possibility of making friends with members of one of our more opportunistic southern native botfly species as well, especially near horses.
There’s a reason or five our ancestors developed clothing, and keeping ‘bitey’ (and ‘burrowy’) Nature away from as much of our skin as practicable is one of them.
1
certain areas/resorts are declared free zones in Istria, Generally populated by herds of Germans, her titts double as an apron and his cock is more ballbag than foreskin.
Vinal bar stools are the worse, the bar men insist that they sit on a paper towel, when they get up its interesting to see who has “Bitten” the towel between their cheeks. 🤢
1