Turkish Cruises


Now I would never want to go to Türkiye myself (or Morocco) but some people do like to dabble.

When planning your trips (presuming that you are going un armed) its worth checking the value of human life at your destination and you should have a good idea what to expect if you get in the shit.

So a few reviews of this beauty.

Trip Advisor Reviews

It seems to be a drop em and drown them ship, inadequate facilities for exiting the water and no first aid trained staff, the reviews say it all. As this chap found out (Now immortalised on the pages of trip adviser).

Nottingham Post Link

Now that’s a world of cunty ness!

Nominated by: Lord benny

34 thoughts on “Turkish Cruises

  1. I wouldnt go to fuckin Turkey if you paid me.
    Or morroco.
    Its full of cunts.

    Although i look dashing in a fez.
    Anyone who goes these islamic countries and gets food poisoning, sexually assaulted or robbed?.. No sympathy.

    Save yourself a grand and visit Rochdale.

    • Morning MNC, how’s tricks?
      I’ve been to both Morocco (mostly shit) and Turkey and Turkey was a really quality resort and rather nice.
      And the Turks I met were obviously cunty, being muzfilth, but they were a lot less cunty than mużrats in this country.
      Muźzıes in this country all ought to be shot dead.

      • Morning Thomas,
        I’ve not been either perish the thought.
        If i wanted to be sweating in humid heat surrounded by saracen types i can always go stand in a kebab shop in stockport for 15mins.

        What was you there for?
        Billy Hayes getting out of prison party?

    • Quite right, GT.
      They`ll steal all your traveller’s doubloons and rape your pieces of eights, too.
      Turkish delight? – Turkish shite, more like.
      🦜🏴‍☠️

  2. What do the Turks know about sailing? give me our salty dogs and own 🏴‍☠️ blaggards anyday…and foam 🥳 are for Ibiza and Fatboy slims crowd…I wear my sunglasses at night 🎶

  3. Reading the article. Once the poor bloke had been confirmed dead and the police came to remove the body, only two relatives accompanied him off the boat.

    Where were the rest of the family? Did they carry on drinking and partying?

  4. I’ve unfortunately visited both North Africa and Turkey..

    These countries are thoroughly infested with cutthroats and sodomītes.

    That’s just the “tour guides”..

    Anyone boarding any sort of vessel in these lands is literally dicing with death,much the same as using a taxi in Oldham.

    Cunts.

    Good morning.

  5. I went to Tunisia and stayed in the very hotel that muzzie went on the rampage in with an AK47 three months before he culturally enriched it.
    Witnessed a gun fight in Turkey over some turk who disrespected some blokes sister.
    So no, i won’t be ever going to an Islamic cuntry again.
    But wait… I’m already in an Islamic country 🤦‍♂️

  6. I like turkish delight( aborted jelly babies)
    Fezs and slippers with curly toes,
    But dont like turks.
    Itd be bazaar to go on holiday there.
    They have a king in exile Bernard Matthews who is also monarch of Norfolk.
    The people of Norfolk have 6 fingers on each hand due to evolution as its better for strangling turkeys.

    If you go to Turkey and are one of those grovelling cunts who wants to ingratiate themselves with the locals,
    Then the turkish greeting is
    “gobble gobble”.
    Same in Norfolk.

    • Don’t knock Norfolk Mis. Its traditional fare is world renowned.

      Parma has its ham, Dijon its mustard, Cornwall its pasty, Cheddar its cheese and Melton Mowbray its pork pie. But Norfolk beats them all with its Turkey Twizzler.

      Which is why Bernard Matthews’ turkey factory is a Unesco World Heritage Site.

      Bootiful.

    • Oi Oi! It’s extra fingers for wanking the turkeys Miserable! Anyhow no self respecting East Anglian would touch that chicken bucket shite 🍗

  7. You have to be a massive cunt to go on any cruise.
    Queueing up for everything fucking thing with plastic millionaires.

    You have to be an even bigger cunt to go to any Muslim country.

    Every year I used to win a cruise with a company that I worked with.
    Every year I turned it down.

    It was bad enough occasionally spending time at work with the cunts.
    No way was I going to go on holiday with them.

  8. Is there a good reason to go to Turkey without an army and a couple of stealth bombers? Cheap cosmetic surgery and glow in the dark teeth attracts the chavs but right thinking Brits only go abroad to secure resources for the homeland.

    If I wanted to mix with a load of savages I’d go to one of our former cities that contain all the excitement of the third world and same level of respect for civilised behaviour.

  9. I did this one in Greece, the captain is a fucking smoking NAZI!

    https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g1140281-d4559019-Reviews-Sunset_stars-Nidri_Lefkada_Ionian_Islands.html

    Decks are covered in mattresses, so you lay there and gaze at the stars, (I was a bit disappointed as I thought they were for something else).
    If you want to smoke you have to go to the stern of the boat and the bloke is some kind of OCD wanker if you miss the ashtray.

    • They always describe the Turkish pm Erdiğan as a ‘strong man’.

      But he looks piss weak?!!
      With his combover and little ducky tash.
      He looks like a tax collector or a fuckin geography teacher.
      Show us yer muscles you little weedy bullshitter!

  10. I nearly got extinguished in Greece on a similar boat , I tried to climb up an inflatable they pht out at one of the swim stops , it had a rigid frame and overturned, smacked me in the head and I found myself underwater suddenly, a bit dazed and 3 or 4 metres in any direction to get out from under it.

    When I managed to extricate myself from this situation, the fuckwitted crew weren’t even looking in my direction and had no idea .

    Cunts

  11. Turkey is a dirty smelly flybown shithole. Went to see United there in 93. Never again. Fucking savages, and that’s just the police.

    It is also now a chav magnet. Every bit of brit riff raff seems to go there. Either to there or Egypt.

    The amount of NHS support staff I’ve heard yaddering on while supposedly on duty.

    ‘Oh. I’m going to Turkey next week.’ Usually wimmin. Yackety fucking yack.

    Trouble is, they say it – and go – about four fucking times a year. My dad got two weeks off a year, if he was lucky. And he worked his bollocks off.

    The same support staff also regularly call in sick on Saturdays and near Christmas. And, it’s always the same ones who do it. They do it because they can.

  12. Prestwich is infested with the cunts for some reason.
    All the old pubs are now Turkish restaurants. How many do we fucking need?!

    Also, there are over half a dozen ‘Turkish’ Barbers on one road. In fact, they are on every bloody road or high street. But, how and why so many ‘Turks.?

    My guess is they aren’t Turkish. They are Pakis or other abdab effendis. And they use the ‘Turkish’ cover because it’s (officially) part of the dreaded EU and it appears more acceptable.

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