is a cunt.
Brace yourselves ladies and gentlemen for this dreadful tail which we can count ourselves fortunate that Our BBC thoroughly investigated on our behalf..
A lack of hairdressers who can sort out afro hair.
Yes indeed, they’ve established that Racism thrives in ladies salons throughout the land.
To quote the fine journalist “There are many in a similar situation as our investigation found only a third of colleges offering hairdressing courses are teaching students how to care for afro hair, four years after they were told they all should.”
Fucking racist colleges as well not obeying The Hair and Beauty Authority.
How this is allowed to continue under a labour govt is quite beyond me.
Nominated by Unkle Terry.
It’s because nıģger hair, much like the nıģger itself, is wild and animalistic and repels all attempts to control it.
Why is their hilarious, stupid frizzy hair like it is?
People from Sri Lanka, for example, have skin as dark as nıg-nọgs, but have straight hair.
Just more proof that sambos are not human.
Good morning to one and all.
22
Cutting pavement apes hair is rather expensive, due to all the lost combs and brushes in the pube heads barnet.
Plus normal scissors aren’t robust enough, you need a good set of tin-snips.
Just be like flabbottus and get the council to strim your head twice a year and just wear a 60s ringo starr syrup.
“She loves you yeah,yeah,yeah”
12
Here’s an idea. Why don’t some of the people who have afro hair come forward to learn how to cut and style it?
Oh yeah, that sounds like learning and working, not a high priority for most of them.
17
I go to a hairdressers in Bristol where the same chap has cut my hair for over 20 years. There are various people working in the salon including a black woman who has nearly all black female clients as she has learnt the particular techniques suitable for that kind of hair. She told me recently that she has started charging her clients a £50 deposit when they make an appointment because so many of them then turn up late, not even a few minutes late but an hour or more, and still expect to be seen. These hair treatments are not cheap and she was sometimes ordering in hair extensions, so she was ending up out of pocket. Needless to say no one else who works there has had to resort to this.
1
I thought the correct term was wig technician?
7
A little lateral thinking needed here. If you have such hair call a local plumber. They’re accustomed to working with steel wool.
12
Specialists in afro carribean hair are known as “puberists”.
A lot are now in the coconut matting industry due to the dangerous conditions in the trade.
Nowadays sheepshearers do it in the winter for extra money but arent as skilled.
The most famous puberist is Curly Sue
Who worked on such wire haired celebrities as
Tom jones
Aretha Franklin
And fixed Don kings bald spot with only a tube of Gorilla glue and a book of carpet samples.
16
so apart from bradding, African hair is easier to deal with, puff it up and cut to shape, a little bit like topiary.
white hair which is floppy and seems to have a mind of its own is harder to cut.
I am not a hairdresser, but like you all have had a fair few haircuts in my life, but unlike you a lot were buzz cuts done by untrained barbers ( and some of them were fucked up), however a chap from the other side who was their self styled stylist refused to do anything but buzz cut because it was too difficult.
Now off topic,
The Saudi Government turned one of their military bases to our use, as with everything they did they went over the top, in this particular case the camp barber (free).
In this case a Lebanese Arab who had learnt and studied his trade in Paris, poor fucker.
He spent 8 months with one hand on his hip doing buzz cuts like an Australian sheerer, you could see the despair in his eyes, all that training and prestige for fuck all 😂
7
I thought these days the prevailing fashion was to wear a colourful bonnet to conceal the matted mess.
No hairdressing skills needed.
Fancy a change? Just go and steal a new one.
6
Most people with a thick mat of pubes like clock springs just use Veet.
This can be done at home. No need for a barber or hairdresser.
7
Ps
Did you know black hair is fire retardant?
Well it is!
The first US Apollo space mission used it too insulate the walls of the rocket.
This was stopped due to the popularity of the afro hairstyle effecting demand and opposition from the mississippi chapter of the Klu Klux klan.
A spokesman said
“aint no dang way the goddam thing should be lined wid negro trimmings!!
Aint decent.
My poppa had a conniption an dam blast fell off the porch when i told him,
Dang those good ol boys at nasa better smarten up an then some,
Or theyll be a lynchin.
You listening to me boy? “
9
Another cracking article from auntie beeb.
“I have to travel for hours to get my haircut” stop moaning in Africa you would do that for a bucket of hot bison piss.
At least here you can steal a car and drive there..
And the other one who finished her law degree and thought, fuck helping all those aspiring architects and rappers get off their stabbing charges, I want to retrain as a monkey stylist..
That’s about as believable as lammy once ate a salad.
10
My favourite bit of monkey topiary was in the early 90s
When the box cut was popular.
Red blooded heterosexual Will Smith was a proponent of the box cut.
This involves having the fuzz cut square on the head,
Making you look like Frankensteins monster.
Brilliant!!
But you need a spirit level to get it right.
10
I remember that cunt Sir Lenworth of Henry.
His dreadful stereotypical black mockney wide boy character, Delbert Wilkins. All daft hairdos and garish shoulder padded suits. Saying shit like ‘Crucial’ ‘Spondicious’ and other such bollocks. Hard to believe this crap – and such a bellend – were seen as prime time entertainment back then.
What? Sir Lenny of Henery? Cliched and stereotyped black characters? Surely not?
10
The Hair and Beauty Authority have failed us all again.
Just another unaccountable quango.
What a disgrace.
Good morning.
7
It’s worse than that Unk. It’s unBritish.
Morning all.
6
Serious contender and possible next prime minister Kemi Badenough has interesting hair.
This gaptoothed medusa has mattered ropes tied back with considerable grey at the front.
Sort of Predator crossed with that disgusting Morgan Freeman.
Hopefully when shes in number 10 shell shave the lot off.
7
I remember when the Wobbly Gobbed Tosser – Rio Ferdicunt – came into training with his hair afro style. The daft get looked like Sideshow Bob instead of looking like Shaft.🤣
9
Morning Nirm,
I see millionaire Socialist Gary Neville has been blaming white men for the Jewish murders in Manchester. What a fuckwit.
10
Morning Captain.
Funny, how Gary was known by the foreign players at Old Trafford as a ‘Little Englander’ and more than one called him out as bigoted. The Dutch lads in particular (Cruyff, Stam) hated him and his attitude.
Like any decent and normal person, Neville should be paying his respects to the dead and Manchester’s Jewish community. But no, he’s just stirring shit. The cunt is pathetic. A piece of Syrian shit called Jihad committed that terrible crime. The thick as black pudding ferret fondler needs to get that into his stupid head.
12
@norm…I vividly remember the time when Gaz and Phil had a slight altercation with some Leeds fans at Manchester airport, the brothers shit themselves and ran for security 😂… little weasel 🤫
5
It’s Black Histrionics Month cunters, when we celebrate the Windrush generation of 400 bus conductors and cleaners who built modern Britain.
Conquering Everest and space, inventing the jet engine and the world wide web, sadly these selfless heroes had no time for hairdressing. So it’s incumbent on us, the beneficiaries of their munificence, to demonstrate our gratitude.
We need an Afro Hair Awareness Month and to pay a few hundred billion in reparations.
Innit.
13
Was Chalky off On The Buses one of the sainted Windrush mob?😉
8
Mention of our not at all loved government has got me thinking…
I am no fan of Farage really. I think he’s a bottler, a bullshitter and a bean counter (for himself). But – that said – I would vote for Adolf Hitler if it meant getting rid of Keir Starsehole and his pile of vermin.
11
Well, Norman, nigel was in the Hitler youth as a young man.
Mastermind champion and current record holder of most chicken wings eaten in a hour told us that last week.
8
I recall Keith Richards doing some radio interview in the 70s.
It was going well, until his then slut of a girlfriend – Anita Pallenberg – kept interrupting.
Slaggenberg kept saying things in rasta tongue. ‘Bumclot’ ‘Raas’ ‘Yer Claat’ and shit like that. Probably smacked out of her brain (what there was of it).
Keef actually said on air. ‘Look, we all know you love black todgers. But fuck off, darling.’🤣
10
Mrs Cunter cut my hair only yesterday.
It saves me a trip to the barbers and she can do an excellent job, despite having zero training.
Every other black woman that I have ever met can look after their own hair, expertly.
It’s what black girls learn.
They rarely, if ever, go to a hairdressers.
Of course Mrs Cunter has a load of wigs, and very nice they are too, but to watch her or any of her friends style their own hair you would be amazed at the speed and dexterity.
The article is bollocks.
Black women don’t usually pay for haircuts or styling.
If there was a market for this type of thing then enterprising black women would set up their own businesses.
There just isn’t the demand so it’s not surprising that they don’t teach it in all colleges.
6
“The article is bollocks.”
An article on the BBC, bollocks? Good heavens Artful, I never heard such calumny! It’s lucky you’re not in England; plod would be knocking on your door.
5
I changed the toilet seat of an old lady down the road, whilst in the bathroom I noticed that she had a small collection of stuffed Chihuahua’s on the bathroom window sill.
not wanting to poke or pry I did my best to ignore them, but curiosity got the better of me and it became apparent that she had quite a nice collection of hairpieces.
I have kept client confidentiality on that one, I wont tell anyone she wears a wig and she doesn’t tell anyone I changed her bog seat 😉
( retained for sniff and wanking purposes)
4
Just shave it off and join the malteser club🟤…Errol brown had a decent career without any wild alien bush on his Barnet…then just walk straight past the 💈 without a care in the jungle…🦍
9
Funky bastards, Hot Chocolate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLb9AiTk-YY&list=RDCLb9AiTk-YY&start_radio=1
5
Old Errol was a bit of a fanny magnet in the 70s.
2
‘The Hair and Beauty Authority’, ha, ha! I suppose it was inevitable. Is it a watchdog? Ofspot? Or is it an umbrella body representing the interests of the wider professions? If the latter, it needs to do a better job advising Too Kweer’s government. An uglier bunch of fucking antisemitic misfits is hard to imagine. While they are at it, the Hair and Beauty advisors could take a look at the Lib Dem snot goblins. Maybe take a stand at the party conference?
Good morning, everyone.
6
White folk in this country having sexual relationships with moon crickets out to face the full force of the law in relation to their bestiality.
At least Dian Fossey and Jane Goodall had the good sense to keep their sexy ape lovin’ confined to the African bush.
8
Methelayted spirits and as match would do the trick..🔥
10
Sorry Doctor, I was taking my time on my reply. At least, they say great minds…..
3
👍
1
All that’s required are edge trimmers and a blow lamp. Then call the premises The Spent Matchstick. I’d call it The Swan Vesta, for a touch of class.
6
“Diversity is our strength” blah blah blah blah blah.Silly wolly Gogs.
4
“All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight”.
– the shrewd wisdom of Danny, Withnail and i.
First impressions matter.
FACT.
And the first thing you notice about someone is their hair.
Some people have naturally great hair.
Kim jung un
Steven Seagull
But most of us have to work at it.
Don king hangs upside down like a bat while a team of hookers spray it with laquer to get that zero gravity coconut look.
Others struggle.
Poor George Bests son.
Had 20 hair transplants…
Still looks like Charlie Brown.
Will Smiths wife.
Follicly fucked.
Uncle fester had better hair.
Why Will cries watching her being tommed by other men.
4
“All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight”.
– the shrewd wisdom of Danny, Withnail and i.
First impressions matter.
FACT.
And the first thing you notice about someone is their hair.
Some people have naturally great hair.
Kim jung un
Steven Seagull
But most of us have to work at it.
Don king hangs upside down like a bat while a team of brasses spray it with laquer to get that zero gravity coconut look.
Others struggle.
Poor George Bests son.
Had 20 hair transplants…
Still looks like Charlie Brown.
Will Smiths wife.
Follicly fucked.
Uncle fester had better hair.
Why Will cries watching her being tommed by other men.
2
Oh and Donald Trump has great hair too.
He uses a candy floss machine to get the look.
Kier starmer uses lard for that retro rocker look.
Later daddio..
7
Morning Mis,
WanKeir uses a mincer for a mincer.
5
Morning Sammy👍
1
I bet he is the last man alive who uses a tub of Brylcreem every day, and a bottle of Old Spice to try to disguise the stench of stale piss that emanates from his voluminous Y-Fronts.
6
Wankier uses second hand Ukrainian Rent Boy Jizz for his hair 🤣🤣🤣
3
Nog hair has to be special, nog hair matters.
Nigerian women used to have their hair straightened, maybe still do, big business, even white Tunbridge Wells had a shop that sold hair straightening kits.
Maybe the big hair look has become more fashionable, who cares if the cunts have to travel hours to look like a g*lly
Fuck them
5
Use Dawn Butler’s barber:
“I go to Madame Pom-Pom round by the gasworks” **
(**Gossip Calypso, Bernard Cribbins)
6
Why didn’t Robertsons start up a barber shop after their jam business, offering free haircuts when showing the GollyBadge.
4