Distressingly before I’d had my customary weekend full English I came across this tale of woe..
Fat women who took slimming drugs to lose rather considerable amounts of lard are now puzzled and upset by the folds of unwanted baggy skin left behind after their chemically induced famine..
Perhaps if Emily and chums hadn’t eaten quite so many biscuits this whole earth shattering mess could have possibly been avoided?
Having said that,it’s all probably Tommy Robinsons fault anyway.
“Keep young and beautiful if you want to be bummed” I think was the 30s song.
Dear me.
Nominated by : Unkle Terry
I think that the idea of the slimming drug was to make porkers lose weight so that they feel better about themselves and eagerly go out to find work.
A brilliant plan devised by the government.
But now these fat fuckers don’t feel better about themselves, on the contrary, they are really upset that now the weight has gone they have lose skin where it once was.
Who would have thought?
Because of this they will probably go on an eating frenzy and get even fatter than they were which will make them feel even worse than they once did, and have to have councilling for their mental health.
Fat cunts really are a drain on resources and money.
They should all be rendered down for lard.
Good morning everyone!
11
Lamp oil. Nobody really uses lard any more, because they don’t want to be fat fuckers.
9
I have actually seen a similar thing with African body builders.
Person in question was Somalian, had survived on a poor diet and hit protein and amino acids in a big way.
any way his muscle bulk grew faster than his skin resulting in stretch marks, so he did not have the toned dark body he craved, more of a tiger stripe effect.
Now as for the bingo wing problem, its a straight chop it and chuck it, it has no use and can not be donated as far as I know.
Perhaps someone could think of making designer bags, or lampshades from it who knows.
maybe pork scratchings, that would be another use.
morning cunters!
8
Ugh what a ghastly list of options🤮
3
I’m sure the envy of the world, NHS will sort it out.. free cosmetic surgery after prescribing weight lose drugs.
Just be careful you don’t get sexually assaulted by one of the marvellous diverse staff that we can’t do without..
Fuck Manjaro and Ozempic, prescribe them lizzo.
https://x.com/shannonsharpeee/status/1794563096880803895?s=19
4
Thinking about it, my second wife had a mastectomy and rebuild on both tits, and I recently had a cock lift (result of leg surgery).
so the NHS is actually quite good at reconstruction surgery or as in my case, make shit up surgery.
1
“…if you want to be bummed!”
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant, Unkle T!
Take note the Government and their speshul friends, or should that be fiends?
5
Thank you.
Your health sir.
1
A contact that I had at a company that worked for me was super fat.
I’m talking huge, Mr Creasote fat.
I always thought that he did a good job for me and as a reward I would buy 100 euros or so worth of English sweets and chocolates for him a few times a year as he liked the stuff.
Now he has retired I am dealing with a young and pretty girl at that company and I can now see how fucking useless he was.
I won’t be buying her any sweets because I don’t want her turning out to be a useless fat cunt.
Maybe perfume instead.
7
a signed willy pic?
1
Moan moan fuckin moan.
Never happy are they?
First its crying theyre fat because they kerp getting their head stuck in the biscuit barrel,
You give them the new wonder drug Zempig?…
Now its loose skin!!!
Look Tubbs,, just tuck it in your knickers,
Or scoop it into your bra.
Its not the end of the world.
Everybody wants to be perfect.
Its a pipedream chubs,
Cheer the fuck up.
12
Ps
Some of these whiners think theyre unattractive because of loose skin.
Low self esteem.
Before that they thought that they were unattractive because they looked like John Candy.
Look luv, its not that.
Your unattractive because your ugly and boring.
Feel any better?
9
Think of all the dry hump possibilities!
2
It says something about modern society that one of the biggest selling drugs ever,that has unpleasant short term side effects and unknown long term effects,is quite happily injected by many,many thousands of people,mostly wimmin,as a miracle cure for getting fat.
Avoiding obesity in the first place or curing it through exercise and some sort of diet seems quite beyond them..
As does the surprise about the loose skin that now adorns their wretched bodies.
This what you want..
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WwvwtvBZm_M
Perfect.
Good morning.
4
I find copious amounts of alcohol help get over these obstacle’s.
1
Well there you go didn’t take me that long to source a use for that.
https://eikenshop.com/blogs/leather-guide/human-leather?srsltid=AfmBOoqvCaa9aC5rplluzIeQUFwoABduyjxYhAr6t3v4V5Xot8RGA7pI
it is a marketable resource.
now there was a joke about a Rabi who saved up foreskins and made something, but I will let someone else pen that.
7
There was that joke about the doctor who proposed using a baby boys foreskin to replace his missing eyelids
Dad: won’t that make him cockeyed?
Dr: yes but he will have excellent foresight…
11
It’s only wimmin and low T men that get ‘loose skin’ when they lose weight. Gee I wonder what the connection is.
4
It’s as if people don’t have a mirror in their homes.
Most people will see that they are putting on weight and do something about it.
Like eating less and occasionally exercising.
But these giant, fat cunts just keep piling on the weight regardless.
Now in the knowledge that you can easily get rid of the fat with pills.
A friend of Mrs Cunter goes on cruises at least 4 times a year.
She eats herself silly and puts on several stones.
Then she goes to Madrid for a tummy tuck.
Every fucking year.
7
Thing is everyone has unrealistic expectations.
Want to look like greek gods and goddesses.
While sat on their arses playing with a computer screen.
Our grandparents didn’t have this aim to be perfect.
Just to be presentable.
As they were concerned with feeding the kids and not getting called up for war.
Your a short balding cunt with buckteeth as was your dad then expecting to be a 6ft blond Robert Redford lookalike?
Its not happening.
Accept your lot.
Deal with it.
Crack on.
Grow a pencil moustache or something.
6
Perhaps ed gein could have played a part here, making things out of skin was his forte 🤔….as del boy said this time next year ed 💰💲
4
Its all about being body positive.
Lets face it if the cunters of ISAC were gathered in a room itd look like that cantina in Star Wars.
A hideous looking motley crew that shouldnt be allowed out in daylight.
But most on here are married and have children.
Because they have overcome the cruel joke Gods played on them.
A through sheer force of will and a little charm,
Persevered and prospered.
Its about your attitude to life.
Not me obviously.
Im fuckin gorgeous.
7
mate, it would probably look like a “Which Magazine” testing program for mobility and hearing aids
5
Morning all.
Funnily enough I’ve really been fuming about fat cunts of late.
We have recently, in desperation, recruited a young woman of 23 to cover some shifts who is absolutely fucking enormous. She’s five foot nothing but probably weighs more than twice my weight. Her thighs are welded together so that forward motion can only be achieved via a waddling action, not that there’s much of that as any physical activity has her hyperventilating within seconds.
This fucking heap is also proud of the fact of her disgusting physical state. She says “er other alf” is encouraging her to go down the gym, but she doesn’t need to do that “as I’m ‘appy as I am, there’s nothing wrong with me”. She is of course also a mandatory dyke, and the other alf in question is a slim, pretty, young girl who spends her days in therapy trying to work through the manifold issues your modern young person has decided they need to have in order to have something to say about themselves these days. The slim one’s parents are reportedly rather wealthy and not at all happy about the relationship, which is so obviously an act of rebellion (presumably little Jemima wants a new fur coat and won’t stop scissoring this tub of lard until she gets it).
Meanwhile the fat fucker does a thoroughly shit job for us, presents an absolutely appallingly unprofessional image to our clients, and is intent on doing nothing to improve her physical condition and her consequent ability in her job. Nothing wrong with me is her attitude.
I have no idea just how the fuck you can become this enormous, especially at such a young age. I couldn’t if I tried. Yet it seems that the only thing she’s ever applied herself to, and excelled at, is eating.
Any day now she gets her planetoid sized arse fired, but in the meantime the spectacle of this worthless mass of butter infuriates me beyond words. I can’t tell her I’m essentially firing her because her weight renders her incapable of doing her job properly and our clients are questioning why they’re paying for this mountain of fat to do a physical job. Her sense not just of entitlement to be in this condition but also an expectation to be treated like she’s perfectly normal is yet another manifestation of the absolute decadence and decline of western culture.
Time we put these blobs of cholesterol to some use. I suggest dropping them on Hamas from a great height coating the terrorist peacefuls in detonated pig fat.
13
Good observation BD, once had a bloke on my team who was of planetoid girth. Lunch break was amazing, this geezer had a plastic container big enough to hold a large Labrador, we felt like extras in a Harry Potter film when this chap began his meal break, never ending amount of foodstuffs coming out of this plastic cornucopia. ‘‘Twas truly magic. Must have spent all night conjuring up this portable delicatessen. Amazing to watch. He was a fucking big dude. He was always eating something, jaws never stopped. The type of person that if one has the misfortune to be stranded on some little island with, you must kill the fucker asap before he gets the chance to eat you.
9
I think the expression “roll her in flour, and go for the wet patch” may apply.
I recall one of the lads pulled a chunky in a club, got a handful in the corner and spent a good 5 mins searching for a nipple, then had a quick look to find he had a fold of fat in his hand 😳
5
Fucks sake, we’re trialling a replacement this morning, guess what’s just turned up. Another massive fat cunt….
3
I am a fat fucker, but I can honestly say I would rather be fat than look like a stepped on slug.
The thing that shocks me is these fuckers don’t consider this situation before doing the weight loss, can’t wait for the go fund me page to pop up.
6
I think all these moaning Minnie’s, should go and get knotted.
5
An – overall – failed species with no shame. The incredible percentage that aren’t cunts just indulge the cunt percentage. QED.
5
N.B. o./t.
It’s all over the news, : “Live
Gaza war latest: Ceasefire due to be signed this morning – after Israel and Hamas agree first phase of peace plan”
We all scoffed, but she fucking did it.
She actually went and fucking did it.
It simply can’t be a coincidence less than a week after her ‘second coming’ over there, it looks like it’s drawing to a close until the next time.
Well done Greta.
Give her a sainthood, Leo. A Nobel peace prize simply just wouldn’t be adequate for her.
4
Breaking news.
Peace plan not signed, neither party bought a pen!
4
I remember in my youth no doubt you will concur, any fat cunts, no.
There was one girl at my school who was fat she’d be about 13 ,so hormones maybe. Other than that no fat arses every one was slim .!
Must be the processed shite food today. No ping meals in those days..
6
Any kid even slightly overweight, or ugly, or four eyed, or scruffy, or ginger (obviously) would get beaten up, have their dinner money stolen and get their heads flushed in the bog, regularly.
I think that may have helped.
Peer pressure is a wonderful thing.
5
@art….yep got many a packet of jammie dodgers or potato puffs(yikes imagine them on sale now) from some milky bar kids satchel 😂…biff boff 👊 tell your mam two packets tomorrow or else 😜
3
I was that bully…😂
3
Bring back rationing is the simple answer. It did me no harm.
2
O/T, re Ed Davey nom..🤡
BBC News – Liberal Democrat membership has halved in 5 years, figures show – BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy5069p70x2o
😂😂😂
5
Fatties should’ve realised, once the weight loss injection was approved, they would have to work along side it, with exercise to prevent the skin from sagging. That’s common sense to me. I think that would’ve been a warning from the ones who injected them. Typical from the lazy fat twats in the first place. Now they’ll have to start working on a skin tightening injection. That probably would make them more rigged and end up from the beginning, unable to move when fat. Serves them right.
3
I may be wrong, but I don’t think that it’s possible to do anything with lose skin other than to lop it off.
I don’t think it can be tightened with injections or exercise.
The muscles underneath the wobbling mass of skin may benefit from exercise but the skin will need to be cut off.
The scars afterwards are fucking horrendous.
So something else to be miserable about.
They should have thought about that before stuffing their piggy faces with cake, burgers and pizzas.
6
spot on!
cant be transplanted ect, although there was a French woman who had a face transplant after her dog ate her face in a failed suicide bid.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20493572
now she died later after the immune suppressant drugs used to stop her body rejecting the skin caused cancer
2
It was mostly tongue in cheek, with sarcasm thrown.
2
Let me get this right, you have fat reducing shots, this turns you into a gormless looking twat and makes you hold a phone in front of your face…..
3
or in some cases turn you into a large flying squirrel!
https://youtu.be/3qK3TaPN0iY?si=Tr2PqxW3KghwDE–
2
Simply pull all the fat to the top of the head and tie it into a knot. Put on a wig and Bobs your uncle.
3
Ha!
Bob’s your uncle.
I was trying to explain the phrase to a friend who wants to improve his English.
“Bete es tu tío”
Doesn’t have the same ring to it.
3
It’s 2025.
“Bob’s your auntie’s live-in intersex queer mekangender life partner”
🌈
2
oh dear. A new word for the naughty-filter, it would seem.
Watch this space 😜
2
and fanny is your aunt😉
2
You should’ve added and Fanny’s your aunt, to make it more confusing.
1
Tito es tu tío y Estefanía es tu tía.
Doesn’t work like in English.
2
Excuse me Lord benny, for dawdling on my reply.
1
Thomas must be working, no obscene pic 😂
3
very valid point.
I have recently discovered nugget porn!
easy access and impossible angles, but quite often a hand job is out of the question 😉
1
( this will now appear, as most searched on google searches today)
2
Having loose skin means you’re skint.
2
I thought I lost 2 stone but it’s really only 1 stone. That stone left me see my nob again and was resting on the sink.
2
Cunt at work was told by a quack that he needed to lose 12 stone of ugly pointless fat.
So he got a divorce.
2
On the subject of fat ‘uns, has anybody clocked that Zoe Slater since her return to the ludicrous BBC goon show that is NeverEnders?
20 or so years ago, she was the most bangable bit in the show. However, she now is much more lardy and looks like Olive off On The Buses crossed with a giant panda. With more chins than a Chinkie phone book.
When I heard of her comeback, I expected a well fit older version of her former self. A proper soap MILF. What a bloody let down, eh?
5
You wouldn’t think now that Hugh Hefner asked her to get her kit off for the Bunny Mag during her Bionic Woman prime.
Now? She’s be more at home in a publication like Big ‘Uns, alongside Mandy Dingle, Colleen Nolan, Judy Finnegan and Lizzo.
4