The nomination of such a non entity, unfortunately automatically requires me to battle severe acid reflux for the next few hours. But the acknowledgement of such a wet unnoticeable fart needs to be had.
This, nothing. Sorry, I mean “comedian”, decides to pipe up and provide us plebs with a voice that no one gives a thrupney bit over, and has declared that he’s sick of George cross’s and finds it wascist.
I’m what would be classed as a millennial. Late 30’s. Tarnished with the small sticky brush of shite. But I can accurately say, that 95% of people my age or under, haven’t a fucking clue as to who “Alan” is. Those that do remember him vaguely from Jonathan creek, a show no one watched and no one to this day has any idea what it was about other than the name being in our consciousness because tv was so shit then you couldn’t escape to the internet and streaming. So those poor souls are confused to seizures as to when he was ever funny or relevant….
So, “Alan” you floppy haired, non entity that seems to be so desperate to remain in the pulse of things he has to come out with such vitriolic shite. I say to you; just fuck off you unfunny side show bob looking twat, and if you want to comment on current affairs may I suggest you move from your 4 bed cunt cube in a gated community to somewhere a bit more ethnically enriched you floppy haired non entity shit cunt
Nominated by: Inspector Grobbler
Additional link provided by PT Admin:
Haven’t heard of this cunt in ages. Thought he must have popped his clogs.
My daughter was on the same plane as him once. Said he acted the right ‘don’t you know who I am?’ cunt.
Morning all.
18
This unfunny cunt’s name cropped up for an evening at the Leas Cliff Hall down in Folkestone, so he must have run out of money. The header pic is the same as the Leas booklet on the forthcoming events, so if that’s the best they can do, there is no hope for anyone else that is appearing.
5
Cunt stood in the curtains counting the 10’s of people turned up for his show. Or the hoards of filth that invade this country!!!
10
This pusfuck states, “I hate this mistrust of anybody brown, foreign, I hate Islamophobia.”
I truly wish that it was Alan Davies that had been stabbed to death by that Afghan muzfilth the other day instead of a poor fella named Wayne Broadhurst.
Davies is the epitome of capitulation to disgusting darkıes and their filthy, violent foreign ways, a quisling who deserves to be burnt at the stake.
Fuck him and every leftie luvvie.
28
“I hate this idea that you can just stop people coming. People are going to keep coming for the next 50 years because of global warming. I hate this mistrust of anybody brown, foreign – I hate Islamophobia.”
I rest my case.
A deluded Hard Left has been cunt.
Oven.
22
I hate murderers, rapists, grooming gangs, antisemitism, terrorists and freeloaders. All – coincidentally – muslims.
Mistrust of everyone brown, eh? How many people have these asylum seeking pieces of pure unadulterated festering reeking filth killed in the last couple of years alone?
What does this piss poor Oscar Wilde crap actor botty basher expect us to do?
And, islamaphobia is not a word, Davies.
You obsolete Paki cock gobbling luvvie mong.
Fuck of back to ‘the Dumper’, as Smash Hits magazine used to say to finished has beens.
14
Is he quare?. He looks like a quare, he has long floppy hair like a quare, and spouts socialist garbage like a quare. So he looks like a quare, speaks like a quare, and acts like a quare so I will put him down as a probable quare after talking to Bunny, of course.
P.S. when he was young he looked something like the late Richard Beckinsale, who was most definitely no a quare.
10
Bunny says quare (Allegedly) Mark him down as quare.
7
This arsewipe of a nonentity got my goat yonks ago, for having the cheek to criticise others much more interesting and the twat is still at it with that whining voice.
10
Dead right Sammy. Where he got that ghastly accent I can’t imagine. I’ve never heard it anywhere else.
4
“The BBC, which he described as “always the best place to go for comedy.”
Davies warned that defunding or limiting the broadcaster could have severe consequences for comedy and the creative arts. “The BBC has always been a space where new talent can flourish, where comedy can take risks and where freedom of expression is encouraged,” he said.
Fuck me,it’s a white Lenny “reparations” Henry.
All aboard the BBC tax funded Gravy Train!
Dear me,white phosphorus Oven.
16
If this cunt doesn’t like the George Cross, then he might like that ethnic cunt(poo-tinted, early 20’s) that posted footage of himself spitting on the flag of his adopted country … and then returning to repeat the action.
Mabe Fry’s surely sometimes wank-fantasy there might like to MEET the abovementioned ignorant cunt to discuss their disdain.
Oh, wait! .. he can’t … not for a while anyways .. the flag-phlegmer has been arrested…
For spitting on the flag?
Don’t be ridiculous. No, ..no .. it was for filming his sister in the bathroom on the sly.
***
Sorry isac-ers, MSM won’t go near this one .. so my bona fide has to be some random Facebook …
https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=122213306348285879&id=61558576380537
8
You spit on my flag, I spit on your Koran
11
I don’t *have* a koran, .. and I never did nuttin’ TO your flag come to think of it … 😄
Three fucking times, I had to tell autocorrect a lower case ‘k’ was sufficient ^ 🙄
4
I wipe my arse on it’s pages.
8
Your spitting, Sick of it, reminded me of the old flagstones I played on as a youngster. Flags for short. I’d rather set fire to the Koran other than allow it to soil my arse.
3
Oh the irony… little Alan hates a flag named after St. George, a foreigner who never even set foot in this country!
Who’s the racist now, Alan?
8
I am up for reinstating the Dragon too.
7
Yep I think he may have his head up his arse if he thinks that migration is due to global warming.
I tend to think it is due to week government and piss poor security and the collaboration of morons.
I secretly think that somewhere in this world someone is pissing them selves with laughter when they realise that migration has destabilised the west better than any fear tactics from the cold war (and considerably cheaper).
12
This former cunting might wet your whistle, Benny …
https://is-a-cunt.com/2025/06/climate-migration-the-new-great-upheaval/
3
only seems to affect the male of the species though, the females seem to be hardier.
so head east, the women must be gagging for it!
(and the Goats slightly relived, but lonely)
4
This cunt as prevented me from watching panel shows and quizzes. Another cunt who did the same is the irish twat norton. For those who arrange this type of shite loose out on revenue, because there’s always some cunt on the team the general public despise.
6
This lispy-voiced, effete, probably closet hermesegsyule, self-congratualtory cunt gets right on my knockers. I do recall that monstrosity of shite called Alan Creek, back in the day. He was supposed to be some magician’s assistant and part time sleuth. About as probable as Keir Starmer ordering the expulsion of murdering, illegal gimmegrants from the UK.
I also couldn’t stomach that QI wank with those other same-sex genital noshing wankers Stephen Fry and Sandi Toksvig.
A truly great cunting.
It would be great if Alan Davies was run over by an illegal gimmegrant in an uninsured, untaxed, cut and shut Toyota Prius. I’d piss my undergarments.
Fuck off.
18
Afternoon PM, hope you’re well?
As my Allegro is named Alan too, it might be fitting if Alan ran Alan over.
Although I do feel that, despite cissy Alan being wet as an otter’s pocket, hitting him with my Alan would be ill-advised as he is, bless him, headed toward the scrapyard in the sky and his structural integrity leaves a great deal to be desired!
9
But what a send off!
“I’m sorry officer, my brakes and steering failed simultaneously and I hit this gentleman catastrophically. Who is he?”
9
Good afternoon Thomas, I’m good thanks – I hope your are too?
I wouldn’t advocate the running over of the wet wanker with your fine, Russet Brown Allegro – you just don’t see these being piloted by peaceful types – not even back in the day. No, good examples of bud, bud, ding, ding peaceful cars, in order of popularity are 1. Toyota Prius 2. Toyota Camry. 3. Nissan Almera 4. Nissan Micra.
I’d pay good money to see Alan Davies struck hard by an unroadworthy, peaceful 1998 Nissan Almera with Ebay brake pads and the hydraulic reservoir filled with Spry Crisp and Dry.
11
You are joking Thomas? The Allegro had the structural integrity of an egg box when it rolled off the line. They didn’t tell us until after the car had gone out of production that when the prototype was first submitted for approval under the construction and use regs the relevant authority ordered Rover to beef up the structure because it was dangerously fragile as submitted for testing.
5
Unfunny lispy cunt who’s in league with that poo-eater Fry.
8
Well worth another run…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4OXLoVyESE
8
One of my all-time faves. Occam’s Razor: the simplest explanation is probably the most likely.
Homosexuals can parade around, act all effeminate and make silly jokes on TV but ultimately, they eat poo.
Coincidentally, I remember Davies himself played a poo-eater in Bob and Rose with that fugly northern bint Lesley Sharp.
8
Due to not understanding what you where on about, Paul. I took a gander at the utube clip and with my speed after the subliminal imagines, I managed to remove the spent match heads in time before it could take hold of my memory. Thank fuck for that.
4
I shan’t eat a black pudding ever again.
3
Perhaps Alan would prefer 🇵🇰 or 🇵🇸
Maybe merged with the pride flag, that would bring out the real hatred.
Isn’t it a British tradition to mistrust Jonny Foreigner.
Here is a question for one of Alan’s silly quiz shows
‘If you import dross from the worlds shitholes, what does Britain eventually become’
Is it
1. A vibrant multicultural utopia
Or
2. A shithole
14
Pubey haired man of the people tosser. Is on QI or something, which i have never or will never see, played the dad in angus thongs and perfect snogging with the busty beauty karen taylor, touch me you say, yes please.
5
Pop him in a cement mixer
8
The man is hilarious. I am chortling with delight as I type this. Actor, magician, raconteur, comedian – is there nothing this polymath cannot do? He must have a genius level IQ, even higher than Hitler or Sir Benny Lammy. He is friends with the hugely trousered Fry guy; they live together in a windmill in Norfolk.
Good afternoon, everyone.
13
They live in a windmill eh?
Ed The Cunt Miliband will be permanently semi erect at that news.
I hope it burns down during a homosexuâl “dinner party”.
The Dutch cunts.
8
I thought this cunt was shit years ago.
That Jonathan Shit Creek bollocks for a start.
Horrible floppy haired fop bellend.
The real Alan Davies played for Manchester United.
A promising winger, who appeared in the 1983 FA Cup Final and its replay.
A bad injury kept him out after that. He came back about a year later and scored against Juventus in the ECWC semi final. He ended up at Newcastle, where he took his own life. They say it was due to gambling debts. A nice lad and promising player. RIP.
5
Sarah Alexander brightened up the dull cunt in Jonny Creek
3
That talentless dumpling Caroline Quentin was shit as well.
5
Break a leg Alan…sorry meant neck, you arsewipes are everything What’s made this country the 💩hole it has become..stick this up your rear end 🎬 👍
8
He’s about as funny as bollock cancer. As Bernard Manning used to say about cunts like him “His joke is very good” and “He charges 50p on the door to keep out the riff raff”.
5
It’s now a well worn and overused trick.
Irrelevant and long obsolete once famous cunts crawl out from under their rocks and attempt to get back into the limelight by blathering woke crap. No matter how insane, irrational or implausible it is.
See Lenworth of Henry, Madogga, Anna Friel, Daniel Cuntcliffe, Emma Twatson, Lily ‘Goldfish faced fuck’ Cole, Keira Shitely, and Alan Davies.
10
Oh, and on the subject of demented woke luvvie cunts, that mincing heap of tattooed trannie sucking blancmange Pedro Pascal is due a severe cunting.
7
Is he really so thick that he believes ‘climate change’ is the cause of all the illegals coming over? Maybe if you only watch the bbc it makes sense. I’ve finally stopped paying for their woke shite.
5
Strangely some daft cunt called Helen Shaw, who
hails from that salubrious cesspit Liverpool, and often writes “Right On” letters to the free newspaper Metro, cited climate change as a reason for all these darkies coming to Britain. They must be totally deluded and thick as pig shit if they really believe that.
6
Strangely some daft cunt called Helen Shaw, who
hails from that salubrious cesspit Liverpool, and often writes “Right On” letters to the free newspaper Metro, cited climate change as a reason for all these foreigners (edited) coming to Britain. They must be totally deluded and thick as pig shit if they really believe that.
4
Those human filth don’t even know what climate change is.
They are savages. Fucking Scouse slag.
7
Why not give them climate catastrophe by way of the 7.62 NATO round?
It stops all problems from getting out of hand..
Although I doubt it can help in the sorry case of Mr Cunt Engine’s sordid Austin Allegro.
The shame.
Good health Norman.
6
Afternoon Boggs 👍 Me and Ethel were in Liverpool on Tuesday.
Multicultural shithole
3
He’s definitely a cunt. Never liked Jonathans Creek , bet it’s a gaper after all those africunts have enriched it.
4
I am impressed of someone so young, knows a cunt when they see one. Respect to you good sir.
Davies is a talentless, unfunny cunt who has had his sad career extrapolated by his appearances in QI as the token ‘jester’ only there for ‘laughs’ which fail miserably.
You sir are a cunt
6
No doubt this twat prefers the medieval cunts who this copper was investigating..!
https://youtube.com/shorts/iqZR1-RF43k?si=yQdt6IvZw5bVTbK7
Luvvie cunt..!
7
Here’s a fun game.
Do something with the following….
Cricket bat.
Brick,
Nail.
Alan Davies’ head.
8
Yesterday’s nobody.
The worst kind of cunt, the enemy within, the traitor.
His type are the biggest enemies this country has
Fuck Off you wet wipe
5
Fuck him, anyone who’s beginning to look like Bob Geldof and does fuck all to prevent it is a huge cunt, he didn’t need to open his gob and confirm it.
3