a unique blend of composts that will enrich your garden and improves clay soils
well that’s what it says on the bag.
Having a shit clay soil I thought I would buy some, 3 bags in total.
With the promise of rain I spread it over the veg beds and hoed it in quite nicely.
my initial thoughts on opening the bags was that it smelt like creosote, I can live with that.
Day 2 the creosote smell has gone, replaced by a very distinctive smell of shit, farmyard muck heap, possibly pig shit, shit smell.
one of the beds is right next to my neighbours front door, and I put two bags on it, it really smells of shit, still no fucking rain!
The dog thinks the stuff is fantastic and tries to eat the larger pieces, but as I have said it stinks of shit!
so to condense my statement, I seem to have wasted £15 making my flat and garden smell of shit!
Now that’s cunty!
Nominated by Lord Benny.
The give away should of been the word enrich.. politicians have been throwing that line around for years.
” are you not enriched, are you not enriched”
5
You put compost on your garden.
Compost smells of shit.
What exactly was your aroma expectation?
8
And what’s all this bollocks about it hasn’t rained yet?
If you haven’t got a hose pipe you must have a watering can.
Are you sure that gardening is the thing for you?
Get down to Lidl and buy your veg.
9
Peat free compost is the kiss of death for horticulture – it doesn’t even sustain dandelions.
4
Nowt wrong with smelling of shit.
Just ask Saddiq knan.
You need a compost bin Benny.
All your fruit and veg scraps and peelings,
Green waste etc.
Once its wriggling with worms your golden.
Do your soil good.
Ps
If your neighbour mentions the smell of shit,
Act innocent.
Say ” i thought it was you!”
4
To make your compost heap really hum, piss on it as well whenever possible. Extra nitrogen, and completely free.
And don’t worry about the smell Lord B. However bad it seems, it’s not as unpleasant as the pong Rodney had to endure sat next to him in Cabinet before his token chav was forced to resign.
3
He wants to live The Good Life but is put off by a little pong.
There is a huge urbanisation which is about 100km from me.
I have to go there often for work.
There is a small pig farm just outside.
In the summer it fucking stinks the whole of the area up.
They say that your sense of smell is your weakest sense. You soon get used to smells to the point of not noticing them.
I suppose that’s how Pákís can live together in the same house.
The people who live on the urbanisation happily sit and eat outside of their properties.
They will hang their washing up to dry.
Whenever I get back from the place I have to have a long shower and my clothes all go into the wash.
On the way home from that smelly area there is an enormous pig farm.
They keep the liquid pig shit in what is like a lake.
When you drive near it you will need to roll up your windows and shut the air vents or it’s difficult to breathe.
That’s how bad it is.
Farmers will come along with their tractors and bowsers to buy the stuff.
You can smell the place from 30km away in the summer.
So there is no need to complain about a slight whiff from a few plastic bags of compost.
Pull yourself together man!
7
We’ve got a foul-smelling urbanisation here as well AC.
It’s called London.
8
Now that you can’t buy a peat-based compost any more I invested in 3 bags of Miracle Gro for my polytunnel. It looks and feels like a mixture of wood bark and pubic hair.
Mrs Twatt said it’s called Miracle Gro because it’ll be a miracle if anything grows in it, and she was right, it’s a load of fucking rubbish. I’m just going to make more of my own compost in future.
3
The garden smells of shit and is completely arid?
Has Tony Cunt Bliar been appointed Viceroy of it yet by the U.N?
A bed of roses thereafter.
Good morning.
4
Will that awful ‘woman’ (Blare’s wife) then be the Viceregal Consort or Vicereine?
A pair of fannys!
2
Not yet terry, but it seems the new brit card will be run off an app made by a company called multiverse..
Whose founder is none other than tone’s son Eeyore..or whatever his name is.
2
Get some artificial grass instead and eat more meat 🦖
2
For older readers… “The answer loiys in the soil” (spoken in a BBC Rural accent)
Mornin’ all
2
I once had a tannery near me, that finally closed after many years. I now have a sewage farm, which on occasions, with the wind in my direction can be rather smelly, with all these foreign cunts now invading my town. I guess I am unlucky.
0
I use new horizon multi purpose and it works with everything.
Sling a bit of Bio bizz Bio heaven in the watering can and everything shoots up.
0