Are not only cuntish, but infuriating.
We have 8 public/religious Bank Holidays in the UK. Five are fixed, but three aren’t.
Christmas Day
Boxing Day
New Year’s Day.
Now, traditionally if one (or even two) of these dates fall on a weekend, the following Monday ( and Tuesday) become Bank Holidays, and have done for my entire life.
For some reason, this rag seems to think that Boxing Day in 2026 deserves a special mention.
Do they think we’re cretins? How the hell is this news, and even if I was oblivious, why do I need to be notified 16 months in advance?
Slow news day indeed!
Your favorite idiotic headline, please.
I cannot be the only person who finds this infuriating.
Nominated by Jeezum Preist.
It looks like it has been taken down. Too controversial, it would seem. The internet has caused the demise of many things, journalism being one. Revenue is by click, so misleading bollocks and quotes out of context are the norm. You’d need a crystal ball to confirm it, but it is my conviction the world would be a happier and more profitable place without the internet. Far less cunts too.
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In order to not fill my brain full of MSM bullshit, I just jump to the first comment in click bait articles, where some helpful chap will give a one line summary.
Saves time and sanity
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Here’s hoping
STARMER RESIGNS OVER RENT BOY SCANDAL
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STARMER DIAGNOSED WITH AIDS..!
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MANDY RAPED MY SIX YEAR OLD SON
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$$ STARMER DIES WHILST STRAINING A FESTERING TURD ON THE BOG
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Imagine Lord Alli’s chock. He goes into the bathroom to fetch a new supply of lube and finds Kweer conked out on the crapper. They would have to call his beard, Lady Victoria to come over and pretend it was she that had found the old bugger. Just imagine the card on her wreath: “You died, my darling, with a scowl and a fart, Dearest Keir, you broke my heart. Love from Vicky and the imaginary children.
Wes will look lovely in a black veil as he drops a pansy on the coffin.
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Government vows to cut immigration
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https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/bank-holiday-moved-december-26-32354809
I read that twice and still don’t know what they are blathering about..
LAMMY STUCK IN TYRE SWING.
CAN’T BE REMOVED TILL HE SLIMS DOWN.
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You’ve forgotten to include Diwali and Eid Mubarak, JP.
Important festivals indeed!
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Years ago my local newspaper had a thing about morals, so on weeks when there wasn’t another horrific story about our local “Sauna Of Shame”, they would find another example of our scabrosness. My all time favourite ws: “STRIP CLUB SHAME – MAGISTRATES TO ACT ON INDECENT SHOWS”
As for future headlines I would plump for:
MANDELSON FOUND GUILTY OF UNDERAGE BUGGERY
and ED MILIBAND FOUND HANGED
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You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
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The Express, when not publishing made up stories about Meghan & Hewitt, are currently engaging in another obsession ripe for click bait.
‘Pretty little seaside town where residents are shocked by….’
‘Pretty little market town sees house prices crash after….’
‘Pretty little village stunned by influx of….’
All of which, if you bother to look for an explanation in the fourth paragraph, after several ads, isn’t about illegal immigrants as you’d probably expect, but things like subsidence or housing development.
Bullshit like this, even if only read for half a second, convinces the marketing departments and ad agencies that they’re on a winner.
If only they knew the truth.
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“Recently renovated roof of Palace of Westminster collapses onto House of Commons during PMQs,no survivors found”..
That’s a fine reason for a bank holiday I must say.
Good morning.
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Utterly empty headed trash journalism is the direct result of social media,aided and abetted by the idiotic effluent shat out by television “news”.
Truly a cesspit of mōngs.
Oven.
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wouldn’t that be a day of days?
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IMMIGRANTS STOP RAPING WHITE CHILDREN.
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And….. NONE SENT BACK THROUGH OUR “1 IN 1 OUT SCHEME”.I DESPAIR AT OUR LIEBOUR SCUM ‘GOVERNMENT’.Yes “in name only”. Traitors.Full gallows treatment.
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UKRAINIAN RENT BOYS FOUND DEAD WITH MULTIPLE GUNSHOT WOUNDS. POLICE BELIEVE IT TO BE SUICIDE!
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ANGELA RAYNER PAYS CORRECT AMOUNT of STAMP DUTY….naah.
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ED MILLIBAND HAS A GAS
BOILER..
oops sorry that’s reality not clickbait…..hope it leaks 👃
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Carbon Monoxide hopefully. Does a better job at removing unwanted politicians.
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LATEST SHOCK! ED MILIBAND PAYS HIS OWN COUNCIL TAX!!
https://www.mpamag.com/uk/news/general/ministers-risk-outrage-after-increasing-second-home-tax-expense-claims/549853
Scům.
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£12,000,000.00 CANNOT GUARANTEE A LONG HAPPY LIFE..!
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ANGELA RAYNER IN CASH FOR CHIMPANZEE SEX ORGY SCANDAL.
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ANGELA RAYNER ARRESTED FOR CRUELTY TO CHIMPS.
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That will be Lammy’s two sons.
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“Starmer torn to pieces during PM question time.”
If only.
An appealing image none the less.
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THE PENNY FINALLY DROPS, ROYALTY IS THE OLDEST MAFIA FAMILY..!
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*** you’ll be shocked how 80s popstar looks now!!! ***
Click.
… 40years older.
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Another favourite Express/Mail trick lately is: SOAP STAR/TV PERSONALITY “Died penniless”.
It turns out they put all their properties in their wives names or they had a Swiss bank account.
It replaces “HOW [INSERT NAME OF ACTOR OF YESTERDAY] LIVES NOW WILL BREAK YOUR HEART”
(They just downsized) That is when they are not telling you how much David Jason enjoyed filming at 1984 episode of OFAH
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***yorkshire farm star Amanda Owens dark secret!!! ***
Click.
She cant swim🙄
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*** the thing Donald trump doesnt want you to know!!! ***
Click.
Hes allergic to tomatoes 🙄
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Ps
The media seem obsessed by that Amanda Owen?
But seem to miss the actual fact she looks like shes just got out of Belsen.
She got worms or something?
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Such rubbish.SNOW BLIZZARD FORECAST FOR SUMMER.Twats.Full mong oven please UT
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Do you remember when the only headline you used to see that was complete and utter rubbish was the one published on April Fools Day?
It must be the 1st of April every day for some of these “journalists”.
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CAMELS GET THE HUMP.
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The greatest headline i can remember
“Freddy Starr ate my hamster”
It said everything in one sentence.
Bet he was inundated with unwanted pets after that?
Probably why he put weight on.
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MANDY: I WAS KEIR’S TOILET SLAVE: “I TAUGHT WES EVERYTHING HE KNOWS” says distraught Dowager Duchess
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Headlines like-
Madeleine McCann prime suspect released from prison.
So fucking what! If the poor girls cunting parents hadn’t left her to go on the piss……
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ROY ROGERS’ TRIGGER.
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LASSIE BEASTIALITY FILMS TO BE RELEASED.
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BIGGLES FLIES UNDONE.
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HITLER WAS A TRAMP.
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….and lives on the moon with Elvis.
(Daily Sport).
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